Unspoken Truths

"She was worth the Wait" by greenday0418

The very first time we crossed the marital line was after Thanksgiving and before Christmas, 1988. She was sitting at her desk; I was standing and looking at a printout on her lap showing data about car sales. I don't remember what kind of data was on the report. As I bent over to get closer, she looked up, and we touched lips, stopped breathing, and both of us gave up pretending we were just co-workers. Her right arm went around my neck as she stood up, the report falling to the floor. My arms circled her waist as we gave in to our carnal urges and went for it. How long did we kiss? Surely only a minute or two, and the fact we weren't caught had to be pure luck.

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December 1st,1988

Billy,

What have we done? I know you have feelings for me but we are both married . I am just as guilty as you are . I should have stood up and run out of the room, pushed you away , or slapped you ; anything except kiss you back .

Now I'm scared because every time I look at you , I want to jump into your arms and kiss you again . When we are in the same room at work , my heart is pounding out of my chest and I want to cry . I've stopped looking at your face because your eyes can see into my soul .

Since I'm baring my soul to you in this letter , I might as well confess everything . The day I started work at A-1 Toyota and met you for the first time , it was love at first sight . That night when I went to bed I thought of you as I fell asleep .

My marriage with Edwin was nothing more than a rebound affair for me and window dressing for him . He needed a wife on his arm for his plan to rise through the ranks and make admiral and in return I get to spend his money .

I have another confession regarding your marriage to Janet . You should remember I told you to go for it when she asked you out and I urged you to propose. Well , I talked her into asking you out because I was losing control of my emotions .

One Saturday in April of 1988 , when Ed was out on a cruise , I had a water leak in the bathroom . It was just a leaky faucet and I concocted a plan to ask you over and to thank you I would seduce you . I had six numbers dialed and common sense prevailed and I hung up and tightened the fitting myself .

I am writing this during letter during a weak moment while I'm having a pity party . I need to get it in an envelope, addressed and in the mail before I chicken out .

Sent with my eternal love and SWAK ,

Beth

(For unknown reasons, this letter was never sent.)

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Bills letter to Beth, seven months later when he discovered his marriage to Janet was a scam.

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I overheard a conversation outside the kitchen at Janet's parents' house during the Memorial Day cookout. I was kneeling to pull a cooler of ice from under a table to take to Janet's brother at the drink table.

They must have come out the kitchen door as I squatted down because I heard Janet speaking, "Don't worry, Mother. I have everything planned out; we go to the fertility clinic and get tested, find out I can't have children, and after he comforts me, we adopt. But we are adopting only one child, and that's for him. I have never wanted children at all, snotty-nosed brats, but you know this anyway, Mother. You never wanted me, did you?"

"Like mother, like daughter," I said as I stood up.

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June 23^rd, 1989

Dear Beth,

How do I start and why am I writing a letter? We work 25 feet away from each other and I get nervous when I have to ask you a question. I know you are pushing me away because of the kiss, but are you upset for betraying Ed or are you mad because you feel you betrayed Janet?

I guess we'll find out when you read this. It's time for me to let it all out and see what happens.

I fell in love with you the day you started work and I hid my feelings because you were married. I got used to being your friend and that was good enough until the kiss. Now everything is upside down and I'm getting divorced again.

My marriage to Janet was a lie because she didn't want children. What a dope I am believing hot sex equals love.

Anyway, I love you and if you are unwilling to at least be friends, tell me and I'll quit and move away.

Love,

Billy

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(He mailed this letter without a stamp and it was returned. He talked himself out of mailing it again because they were friends again and he was too afraid of screwing that up a second time.)