Until Death Goo Us Part

"In what way? Like, happy, fair, middling, bad? In my own words or what?"

The Agent turned his eyes down to the questionnaire and pondered it for a moment before looking back at Ral with the same unreadable, lie-detecting gaze as before. "In your own words."

Ral sighed. Walked right into that one, didn't I? "I mean...good? Happy? She's a little rough around the edges sometimes being a demon and all, but she's good to me. We annoy each other for fun a lot. And sometimes it gets to be a little much, but I genuinely like being married to her; I love her."

"So if we were to offer you papers to file for divorce and retroactive compensation for-"

"No." Ral cut the Agent off. End of story.

"Let me finish, Mister Doga."

"I do not want a divorce." Ral stated firmly.

At that, the Agent set his jaw slightly. "That's not what I'm asking, Mister Doga. Allow me to finish."

Ral could feel his face turning red with a mix of embarrassment and genuine concern. He looked down at the slow trickle of blood down the tube still connected to his arm, gently pumping testing data into a blood bag beside him. It was distracting enough to get him to calm down a little.

"Sorry," he began. "I just...I love Huny. And the way we got together was...I guess less than okay with you guys. I get really nervous when anyone asks me about papers or divorce or our marriage getting annulled. It freaks me out to think I could wake up one day and someone would just...take her away."

The Agent wrote something down. "We're not trying to take Hunyadi away from you. These are just questions. Very standard for someone in your position."

"Sorry," was all Ral could offer to that.

"Continuing forward. If we were to offer you papers to file for a divorce and retroactive compensation for housing Hunyadi, would you accept them?"

"No." The word was just as firm as it was the first time.

"If there were a stipend for interspecies married couples in place to assist with housing, specialized food, unusual medical expenses, and the like, would you want to receive it?"

Ral mulled the idea over in his mind a little. Hunyadi didn't really need anything besides water and a heaping helping of his cum every day, so that wasn't particularly concerning. It would be nice to have his supplements and some of his food comped though, but it didn't feel like he was owed it. On the other hand, someone with an Underfolk for a wife might spend a fortune keeping her fed. And Underfolk might get diseases that required straight-up magic to fix, so there was that to think about too.

He shrugged. "I mean, sure, I guess? Is that different than the money you talked about in the other list? The financial assistance thing?"

At that, the Agent flipped back to the previous questionnaire and stared at it with a discerning expression before giving the task up and letting all the pages flop back down as they'd been before. "It's unclear at this time."

"Then just put yes. I have to go to the grocery store soon; that's where Hunyadi thinks I am."

"Do you feel the need to keep secrets from your wife?"

"No, but you told me not to tell her about these meetings, so I haven't." He continued after a moment. "For the record, I do want to tell her."

It didn't appear to matter either way. "Does Hunyadi ever threaten you with physical harm?"

"No."

"Do you plan on having children with Hunyadi?"

Ral just blinked.

Every thought in his head turned to the immense number of times Hunyadi had wrung an orgasm out of him. If there was a way they could have possibly gotten her pregnant, they would have found it by now. A literal thousand-plus orgasms had come and gone and she didn't appear any closer to being pregnant than he did.

He tried to compose an answer, but only got as far as, "That's a thing?"

The Agent didn't look amused. "Please answer," he pressed.

"I...can we?" Ral looked at his lap as if the answer would be sitting there in front of him. "I mean, like, if it's even possible, then sure. But I don't even know if that's a thing at this point."

The Agent took a while to write down a veritable novel in his notes before continuing.

"Do you have trouble communicating with Hunyadi?"

"No, not really. Sometimes she just chooses not to listen, though."

"Does Hunyadi ever suggest that you bring in other partners into your relationship?"

"No."

"Do you?"

"Fuck no."

"Has Hunyadi ever suggested that you bring other partners into your intimate relationship?"

"No...well, uh, so that one's kind of hard to answer."

"Explain." Ral could feel the stare leveled at him even without looking up to meet it.

"So, Hunyadi can do this thing where she like splits into different, uh, pieces. Like, she can make another version of herself. And sometimes she and the other one, or however many there are, go down on me at the same time."

"Explain splitting into pieces."

"I dunno, man. It's like she makes another version of herself or something. But the new ones are always mad or super weird or just...whatever, you know?"

"Mad?" was the only reply.

Ral threw a hand up in exasperation. "Look man, I dunno what to tell you. It's fucking weird and you have to be there to really get what I'm saying. They're just off somehow."

Another series of notes. Another long pause where Ral got himself worked up about whether or not he was doing a good job of representing himself and Hunyadi as a married couple or pouring their last year together down the drain at light speed.

"Have you ever suggested bringing other partners into your intimate relationship?"

"No. Fuck no; Hunyadi's already enough to keep me busy as it is."

"Do you believe Hunyadi would have chosen to marry you if it's hadn't been a requirement for her to receive long-term residence Between?"

Ral sighed. "Honestly, I don't think so. I'm one inch away from being legally classified as a dwarf and I didn't even finish highschool. You think anyone wanted to marry me before I got involved with Huny's legal trouble?"

"Do you think Hunyadi is using her current marital status with you as a means to achieve long-term residence Between?"

"You mean is that her only reason for being married to me?"

A pause. "Yes."

"No. She loves me; that's why we're still married."

"But that wasn't the case originally."

Ral grinned despite himself. "No, it certainly wasn't. But that didn't stop it from working out, now did it?"

The Agent flipped his folder around and held it out to Ral. He took it, then the pen, and signed where he was told. Afterwards, the Agent spent several minutes in silence, going over the contents of both questionnaires and all his myriad, unseen notes.

He looked back up at the nurse and nodded. Then he motioned for Ral to stand. "When you've been cleared to leave, please see the woman at the reception desk downstairs. She'll have paperwork for you to take home. Keep it to yourself, Mister Doga."

"Later then, I guess," Ral replied, giving a mock salute as his counterpart stood to leave.

After a few more minutes of minor medical procedures, he was on his way to the grocery store.

------------

Ral regretted trying to bring in all the groceries at once as he opened the back door with his pinky finger. The milk and creamer in his right hand barely stayed in his grasp as the door swung open at his boot's command.

"Huny, a little help?" he called into the apartment.

Almost immediately, the slime swung herself around the corner and put up a slimy hand to catch her swollen, jiggling bosom. She gave him a once-over before approaching, biting her lip like she was coming over to him with something else in mind. "You look like you could use a hand there."

Ral bit back the banter that wanted to come up his throat. Groceries down. Then play time. "Huny, while that's admittedly really hot, can you just help me first?"

"Just put them here, see?" she teased, allowing the lower column of her body to collapse into a large, expanding blue puddle beneath her. She held her arms out in front of her chest and it bubbled forth like a fleshy cascade, meeting her hands with a satisfying plap. "See? It's a shelf now."

"Hands, Huny. I need hands."

"But I've only got two," she pouted.

Ral rolled his eyes. "Come on, please? You're in the way now." At her refusal to move, Ral stepped out to one side of her in order to get around the new expanse of her body. In doing so, his boot slipped in the slick puddle beneath her and he almost flipped backwards as the groceries went up and he went down.

He landed squarely on his ass hard enough to make him bite his tongue, shaking the entire apartment from floor to ceiling. He let the groceries spill all over the floor as a puddle of milk and coffee creamer spread under him, soaking his clothes even faster than Hunyadi's fluids were. He ground his teeth together so hard that his ears rang. For fuck's s-

"Oops, let me give you a hand with that," Hunyadi said, making her breasts swell even larger.

Ral set his jaw and tried not to yell. "Huny, can you please for once just-"

Hunyadi's tits exploded into a shower of blue goo, covering Ral's entire body in a wet, runny mess. Between his legs, two lumpy pockets of sludge washed up against his jeans and groped around in the growing chaos around him. Each one quickly took shape and ended up a miniature caricature of Hunyadi, resembling the slime as he'd first seen her in her native form.

One of them propped herself up against his knee. "You really look like you could use some help now, handsome."

"Can we take over from here?" asked the other, getting up off her little blue knees.

Ral stood up without a word, dripping with a mix of now four different types of fluid, and walked to the bathroom without acknowledging the situation any more than was necessary to depart it. A trail of fluid followed him as he stripped his clothes off to the shower. He'd clean it up later. Right now, he wanted to punch the mirror until his hand broke.

He ran a shower as hot as he could physically stand and got in, drawing his mind away from the absolute disaster in the kitchen. Describe your relationship with Hunyadi. Oh, you know, pretty good most of the time. Until she does shit like this and I want to melt her with a hot frying pan just to see if it'll hurt. Too bad I fucking love her or we'd have a good case for those divorce papers you were talking about.

His thoughts didn't change much until Hunyadi opened the shower curtain and looked up at him with dark purple eyes. He cast an unamused glance down at the tiny little clone of her waiting for his attention.

Having it now, she asked, "You want me to-"

"Leave," he interrupted. "I want you to get the fuck out of the bathroom and leave me alone."

At that, her second little clone peeked out from behind its twin, giving him a curious glance. She then climbed onto her twin's shoulders and scooped a sloppy locke of 'hair' out of her eyes. This time, it didn't soften Ral up any more than if she'd pinched the back of his arm.

"Hey, don't be like that," she pleaded. "We cleaned up the mess."

"You fuckin' made it to begin with," he bit back, earning an ineffective pout from both of them.

"But we cleaned it all up. Even the ones you made."

Ral scoffed. "My messes? That's not even the point here. The first thing I want to do when I'm loaded down with an entire carload of groceries is not waste eight fifty in milk and coffee creamer and watch my wife's fucking tits explode into tiny blue toddlers!"

"Miniature people," the bottom clone corrected.

"Don't argue semantics with me, Hunyadi." Seeing their strategy was ineffective, the top clone rolled off her twin's shoulders and plopped down into the shower, slipping around in the water trickling off Ral's body. Ral just looked straight ahead in response.

"Don't be mean to me; I'm little," she whined.

"Then don't be little."

She pushed herself against his thigh. "You make a hard choice easy, don't you Ral?" Her slimy skin shifted against him and he glanced down to find her body rippling, arms pushing a growing pair of breasts together as water cascaded into her expanding cleavage. She dropped to her knees directly between his legs and opened her mouth, letting the water dropping off his body collect in it.

Ral found it hard to look away as her tits became large enough to lose cohesion with her small frame. They wobbled and bounced as she coaxed more and more water into their mass, moaning as she did. The human felt a familiar sensation start to tug at the primal corner of his brain.

"Can you just wait for me to finish in here?" he asked, wishing he hadn't looked down in the first place.

"You could finish in me instead," tiny Hunyadi suggested, pulling her clone into the shower with her. They melted together into a larger, singular woman with a skin tone several shades darker than before. Her skin thickened up, running like its normal gooey texture instead of water. She pushed her chest against his cock and it responded almost immediately to her touch.

The crease between her chest rose as the size of her breasts grew, continuing to soak up water with hungry abandon. Ral shut the water off and Hunyadi pouted, giving his thickening cock a nice, long pump with her chest. He bit back a moan as a cord of pleasure was pulled taut inside him. He pushed her back, but her chest billowed out in every direction, keeping his cock seated firmly in a prison of slick blue flesh. He exhaled sharply at the sensation.

"Can you please stop for once? I'm still not over what what happened in the kitchen."

"Aw, please? You know you like it," little Hunyadi cooed. She pumped him again and he bit him bottom lip in frustration and arousal both.

"Look, this touches a lot of stuff for me up here." He pointed to his head. "But it feels like I'm fucking a fish bowl right now." He didn't have to wonder long about how she felt about that. Her eyes immediately strobed a dark shade of indigo, brooding with flecks of red like the eye of a hurricane gone rogue.

"A fish bowl?" little Hunyadi asked incredulously.

"Or a water balloon," replied the human, knowing it wasn't going to help the situation at all.

Hunyadi's voice betrayed some of the indignation she was usually far too proud and confident to reveal. "You told me you liked this."

Ral tried to think about anything but his throbbing cock between her jiggling, rippling breasts. The puddle of wasted money and creamer in the kitchen floor was a good enough thought. He looked directly into his half-sized wife's lurid eyes. He had his focus again.

"And I also told you I'm not over what just happened in the kitchen. Besides, you're starting to get too full; look at yourself."

Hunyadi didn't even have to crane her head to look at the expanse of her chest stuck to his pelvis. She frowned, but didn't fight his observation. Instead, she just retracted her bosom and squeezed the excess fluid out like she was untying the end of a water balloon. Ral shivered at the feeling, but made no indication that it still felt really good to be sandwiched between her tits. Her chest regained some of its former shape and cohesion.

"You said you like when I get this big," Hunyadi protested in a wounded, confused tone. Like she was being punished for doing something he'd asked her to do.

"When I'm not fuming mad, yeah, I love it. And when you're more yourself. Right now you're just some kind of rubbery, watery mess trying to piss me off."

Hunyadi's body stiffened. "I can only be what she lets me," she said darkly.

Ral tried to understand what she was saying, but he knew, like every time, he was going to get a confused, enigmatic, and hostile answer to whatever he asked. He just tossed a hand up in resignation. "Huny, I don't even know what that means."

"It's not my fault!" she shouted.

"Can you just leave me alone for a while then, please?"

"Fine," she growled, letting all the excess water in her body drain out in one liquid pour. Her human shape devolved into something resembling blue slug about the size of an armful of laundry. Hunyadi slinked away looking like an overfull slug.

Ral shut the door in her wake and toweled off, trying to ignore his baser desires to fuck his wife's impressive and changing physique until his legs gave out. He didn't need to get over things this time. Letting it go did about as much as yelling at her did. Read as: nothing. Even as her husband, there wasn't much he could actually do unless he sat her down and had a heart-to-heart about it.

In truth though, he liked the way she was. It was immensely annoying for her to push the envelope like she had today, but for the most part he liked the bit of attitude and playfulness she brought to their relationship. The only issue was that he didn't have much recourse in getting back at her.

She was a slime. She claimed a few times that there were Underfolk bred specifically to kill slimes as a countermeasure to their near-invulnerability, but he couldn't see how they would manage it. She was made out of water. And apparently even burning her up just turned her into a rock, just like freezing her did. Below had a different set of rules, apparently; that's why she'd fled Between in the first place.

That aside, she was as witty and mischievous as he could remember any two people in his life being. Combined. Hunyadi always managed to find a way to get under his skin, sometimes in a literal sense. And what did he have? A sincerely large cock for his size and a lot of threats to get back at her that he had yet to give any credibility.

Making light of her catering to his fetishes didn't appear to be an effective strategy, as evidenced by little Hunyadi's reaction to his insult. That appeared to cross the line from cheeky to hurtful, so it was off the list. He reached for anything that he could remember her finding annoying.

It took a few minutes for him to recall Hunyadi complaining that she didn't like to eat gelatin because it made her feel sticky in a bad way. Maybe he could make a huge batch of gelatin and somehow get her to eat it. Or better yet, get a few dozen packages of gelatin mix and stuff them inside her while she wasn't paying attention. Maybe it'd turn her into a big, gelatinous cube?

Ral took his phone off the bathroom charger and browsed a few places online for some ideas. After a few dead ends, he found something that suggested pectin might be exactly the thing he wanted.

Naturally-produced. Found in food he already liked to eat. Safe for human consumption. No apparent side-effects. Relatively high dosage before complications could be observed. And conveniently sold in container sizes that went up to twelve gallons.

At worst, he figured it wouldn't do anything to her at all; she was practically invincible to most chemical compounds. She even drank bleach once to clean his bathroom down to the grout, which had led to an interesting experience with him having blonde hair on whatever parts of his body she'd wrapped herself around to christen the 'new and improved' bathroom afterwards.

At best, the pectin could do exactly what he wanted and turn Hunyadi into a big, sticky mess in the kitchen. Maybe she'd even freak out a little before he told her what was going on. That would be a new experience for him, seeing Hunyadi actually reacting to one of his counter-pranks with something more than amusement.

Ral placed the order for a four-gallon drum of pectin and left the bathroom to go make an apology to his wife for saying she had the sex appeal of a fish bowl. In truth, maybe not as big a deal as she'd made it out to be, but part of being married was willingness to admit wrongdoing even without fault. Hunyadi had done her fair share of apologizing trying to learn what was and wasn't acceptable in their relationship. Time to reciprocate, he thought as he walked into the kitchen.