All Comments on 'UR-Quan'

Meh, I liked it, but that's only because of the references to GalCiv and to planet harvesting that comes from another game. Though while reading it, was thinking the logs should have been more described but less in number, just saying that the some of the crew died or that they had sex without more detail made it stale. Details/descriptions are a story writer and readers best friend.

~Moo

Big fan of that game, but that couldn't keep this interesting to me. Too long and dry.

i liked the story in general, but there were major problems with it.. the biggest issue was there were a bunch of things thats needed explanations.. like why was the shield so bad? you mentioned someone going up to the space station thru it.. and calling it a slave shield.. i didn't really see how it had anything to do with slaves. also, why did the urquan need to torture riley? if they are the ones who defeated earth and put up the shield, shouldn't they have had contact enough before to know how to torture? lots more little issues...

That way you are not constrained with your story by what the readers know. Also Star Trek (cpt Pike, Enterprise, Intrepid, beam over, and other terms), Star Trek is very polarising - people love or hate Star Trek. It seems to me you are mixing too many games and TV shows. Make your own stuff up. The story is also very dry in the matter of fact way you describe everything, particularly the sex; the female crew is ordered around and obeys instructions as if they are robots. Sex is the basis of Literotica. Perhaps your story would be more suited to a Sci-fi site if you tightened it up and fleshed out your characters so they are not so wooden. Good luck with it all the same.

Spell check is great for a lot of things but it doesn't catch it when "there" is used for "their", etc. Found reading the story was a little difficult at time because of the miss-use of words.

There was a lot of little detail at times but some big parts of the story didn't make scene or were left out. Whatever, I read all 15 pages just to find out how it ended. Kind of a let down.

This was a chore to read. Couldn't finish.

Read it twice. Can't argue the spell-check stuff but you did a fine job!

I appreciate all the work that went into this. But we want a sex story to get to the point quickly and graphically. This did neither.