All Comments on 'Us Against the World'

Fantastic story, loved it all thank you so much. please keep writing.

Excellent and emotionally perceptive. Keep writing, please!

You just sailed to the top of my list of authors to watch, way to go on your first effort. Impressive. I look forward to seeing more from you!

"Fuck I'm going to fill your little pussy." Uh, what is this? A BeeLine novel from the 70s? You just defined the term 'stilted dialogue' and then some with this script from a really, really bad plot-less porn movie.

Good way to start, awesome story and premise. Look forward to more from you.

Don’t know about this one…love is wonderful, but there should

have been some jealousys along the way. Not into the dom/sub

stuff either, didn’t seem right here; my problem.

Marvin

Great story telling. Loved the story. Would be interested in seeing him tied up by his girlfriend in part 2.

Thanks for the comments folks.

Sorry it's not up to your standards Anonymous, but thanks for your inspiring and educational feed back. Please point me towards your material, so that I can see how it should be done. :)

Please ignore the anonymous boor. You have a talent for erotica. Looking forward to more of your stories.

4 stars. Would have been 5 but all the stupid submissive deal knocked it down. The author could have let them just be in love with each other.

Wow! This story was amazing! Loved the threescore aspect and the pregnancy, which is typically not my thing. I got off twice, even after waiting for 6-7 pages! I very much look forward to more of your writing!

Absolutely outstanding! Very hot, filled with lots of love, and quite plausible. And anonymous critics are as useful as mermaid panties. Great job! Five stars!

Hi Dlh143, sorry to hear you didn't enjoy that aspect of the story. I did include "mild BDSM" as one of the tags. I felt that it suited her character, which was why I included it. Just because she's submissive doesn't mean there isn't love, there is a considerable amount in fact.

Thank you for the rating. (4 out of 5 ain't bad)

My 2 cents

Loved the story! 5/5 stars. Very hot and sexy. Thanks for your time and your Imagination.

Good story! I was wondering at page six whether or not the brother and sister were going to get together, but I'm glad i continued reading. There were half a dozen misspellings that I though a spellchecker would have caught, but nothing serious.

As a much older brother of an attractive young woman I could relate to this story. Unfortunately, I was not as fortunate as the man in your story. Thank you for a good read.

It was great! I usually never read a story with 3+ page but this one was the one 😂. Yeah if ignore all the angry people..this was fantastic!

I/T is hot when it's 1 on 1, not group. Bummer.

Early in the story I thought, "No man is dumb enough to do what he's doing... is he?" Then he did. Okay, fair enough... it sort of worked out in an twisted impossible way, still kinda fun though. Then the pregnancy stuff... over and over and over. If that's your kink, good for you. Not mine though, it was an epic turn off.

in a few parts there was probably the best conversational dialog between characters i've ever read anywhere. clever but natural sounding (and missing the usual annoying usage of addressing who they're talking to by name so that the writer can make certain the reader knows whose saying what to whom. no one in real life talks like that). so well done that i got the characters' mindsets through their simple fun back and forths before they stated them. i wish i could write it that well (i'm trying).

5 stars and maybe i'll actually log in and give you 5 more. this one deserves it.

thank you for this and please keep writing.

I would consider small tits as a tag. Women with small tits are super unappealing to me. I'd take a 6 with boobs over a 9 without, without a moment's hesitation. Especially in the context of a breeding story. She needs to feed them babies somehow.

Hi bombaclot, I've no issue with constructive criticism, but the comment I was replying to rubbed me the wrong way. It was the anon 4 up from my reply.

Thankfully most criticism I receive is of the constructive type, which is helps me improve. Hopefully you'll enjoy my work.

I thought this was pretty damn good for your first effort here, great job. I'm not so much into the BDSM thing, but yours was done fairly tastefully, so good on you. BTW, I really liked your snarky comeback at the Anon smartass and just want to let you know that all Anons aren't like that jerk.

Thanks folks. Constructive criticism is always welcome and well received.

Thanks for reading.

This one was real good, thanks.

Many would see such events as a fantasy, some know it can and may well happen along the lines of the story.

Great story. Some really risky choices handled well.

And hot.