All Comments on 'Using Fiction to Alter Reality'

Splendid story!

5

Enjoyed that, well written and a good tale, thanks.

Should have added, very amusing in parts.

Pretty darn good job. Very much enjoyed

Great story. Thanks for sharing it. Nothing better than starting the day with a 5 star treasure.

Not bad a little long winded and for me hard to follow the flow, but over all well written

Nice work, coming up with a new slant on a very old and very overworked theme. Clever, humorous, and worth all 5 stars.

Unreadable

Excellent twist on a done a million times theme. I like the way you tied in the kids, the author, etc.. very very well done ... but to me what put the cherry on top - the last line. Maybe I'm odd, but I been using almost that exact line for most of working life as my own brand of sarcasm to folks who just don't get it. Didn't think anyone else used it.

Great writing. Enjoyed it.

I am not going to say anything bad about your story, it is OK, but are you sure that you haven't wrote in other words about Covid pandemic? After all: Title said it all!!!

"You know, take me rather than love me." - That's different. Many LW wives have husbands that love them, but take lovers because they sometimes WANT to be "taken."

I like this one better than the first version.

wasnt this poseted before?

Loved the snappy dialogue and puns and G-rated discussions in front of the kids about R-rated topics.

Brilliant! And funny as hell.

This was quite funny and good!

Loved it.

A pleasantly different (and funny) way to tell an old and often-repeated story.

Although, after hearing so many, I was beginning to groan at each additional cliche that appeared. Then something unusual happened.

Oddly enough, it was the misuse of the old upwind sailing cliche concerning a "bad tack" that relieved my growing irritation. Quoting from the text, I saw: "I think we are off on a bad tact."

I think this particular incorrectly used cliche could be the second or third most-commonly misused one in LW stories here on this site. I don't know if it was (or was not) intentionally misused THIS time, but suddenly I was no longer 'critiquing' the overdone cliches, so much as I was waiting for more improperly used ones. The fortunate result of this was that my prior irritation dissipated to nothingness.

I ended up enjoying this story quite a lot!

The cliche MOST often used incorrectly? I believe it is "You've got another THING coming!"

Very entertaining and different, thank you.

The two main characters kept their sense of humor/irony, which I think is an important way to bend with adverse events in life without breaking. There's an important lesson there. Looking forward to reading the rest of your offerings.

Entertaining indeed. That really was very good thank you

This was good but for some BIG misses. The story was cute but just felt incomplete.

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He was a best-selling author before Janet, so Ron was already very wealthy. How did he setup his writing business to keep the slut's hands off his wealth? A business pre/post-nup - her ego would have signed that? Offshore accounts - and all non-USA sales went into offshore accounts for NO USA income tax?

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Once Ron/Janet married and child #4, he had more best-sellers. Ron would be closing into being a millionaire. Obviously Janet never needed to work again, Ron had serious wealth.

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But Ron's best-seller wealth never entered into the story in any tangible means - why or was that a BIG story miss?

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Best-seller Ron had the funds to seek PI info of the adulteries - but not? Due to setting up a writing business Ron had serious lawyer/agent contacts - but not? Janet night school would have fostered some serious networking contacts too.

Could their shrink baby-sitter help the 3 kids with divorce issues?

Did Ron/Janet NOT have any family to help/advise?

Did Ron/Janet get married before #4 was born?

Did slut do a full 3yrs or less: no child support? Were Ron's kids adoption papers part of his divorce? Was Sara's adoption papers part of Janet's divorce?

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4.7⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐, Hooyah, many misses but still a 5

Poorly done rewrite? I know almost the exact same plot was posted a few months back. Can't remember if it was you or another. The constant puns gave me a headache - LOL! 3*

Outstanding!

Interesting LW story.

A 4* (IMHO) story who squeaks by the (unwritten) LW criterion of ‘effects the marital relationship.’

The story starts with Sweetie1’s internal debate regarding Hubby1’s third cheating strike. Hubby1’s cheating partner is Sweetie2. We-The-Readers do not hear much from S2, but are told a lot in narration. There are a number of high-scoring LW offerings which present much less info on their respective Sweetie’s. However, that does place an important character at a distance from WTR. Hubby1 is presented to WTR with basically two main attributes … a) a progressively steeper slope in alcohol intake the infrequent times he drinks; and b) a high pussy-plugging index and low marital fidelity.

Others have commented on major omissions, so I shan’t. The revenge plot is cute, but the slippage" factor with multiple steps is additive when there are real-time adjustment tools. But without that, the slippage factor is geometric!

An interesting story. Had my interest. One of the main characters was a writer? yep! Had my interest, of course it did!

The revenge plot was smartly done and the whole thing was a 5* read.

BTW KRD19254, he was not a successful author before he married. He became a successful author after his marriage.

Meh. I don't really see why most commenters think this story is so great. It's ok but nothing is get too excited about.

Great story, got the trifecta and someone else did the heavy lifting.

These last line was classic and will be remembered long after the story.

4.5 stars just because of the format. If you think that putting the characters name ahead the script was to help people follow the story. You really under and over estimate the intelligence of your readers. The people you felt obligated to warn of the change would not be able to understand the story anyway and the people who understood what you were writing would ignore it as unneeded and just window dressing.

Good story.

I really enjoyed this story, the humor kept me smiling.

Thank you.

Priceless

The last sentence was indeed priceless.

What happened to the other comments?

All I see now are 10 comments. Five minutes ago there were about twenty.

I enjoyed the story. Thank you for writing.

I only have a couple of master's degrees and they're almost 50 years gone...

but following the twists and turns of the female mindset(s) as depicted herein was a delightful excursion into a past made wondrous through exposure to brilliant women.

Loved this story. Loved the affection imbued in each character's behavioral mannerisms.

More please.

MLJ

I see 34 comments

Wonderful, wonderful story!! I would give it 15 stars if I could. It’s fresh, and original, and beautifully crafted. A joy to read.

It was that last line that made the story for me and a score of 5 stars. Great writing.

Well done. Humorous and wonderful. 5*

Last line is genius 🤙🏿 Pure.

story wasn't engaging at all.

I gave this story five stars because I see lots of writing talent on display, but there are structural problems. First off, the plot is convoluted with a changing POV between first person storytellers so it is difficult to keep track of the action. It reminded me of that old theater chestnut, Noises Off. Second, the subject matter is inherently much too serious to be treated as a farcial sex comedy; ie: two simultaneous divorces involving three young children, felony assault, perhaps criminal conspiracy, and a blasé attitude more appropriate to a Nick and Nora pot boiler from the 1930s. The story is too unsettling to be fully enjoyable. Especially nowadays, when criminal justice is so contingent on identity politics, one can't treat any interaction with the police in such a light-hearted manner.

@lujon2019

wasnt this poseted before?

You should reread the intro!

"I don't have the time or the crayons to explain it to you....", I think I need this on a t-shirt 😁😁

Gave up after page one, totally confused.

I loved it! YES! Thank you!

Enjoyed it but a lot of work to keep things straight.

Absolutely amazing double BTB. Thank you!

You forgot that cheating spouses love their cheated on more than life itself .

Love it crayons anyone

Hard work to keep things straight. That said, I think it was better because of the changing perspectives - how interesting and unusual!

5* and a Fav. Thank you for sharing!

Loved it. Slut #1 was no brighter than Dumbass - should have at least considered that he knew all the tricks and had a resume listing his experiences cheating. Janet’s axioms were outstanding. And she effectively conceived of, then project managed, the revenge scheme. That’s a damned creative and confident woman.

Your best so far, very amusing. Some good old one liners, my favourite of which was “ it was a war of wits and only one of us was armed”. Thanks.

Great story, I really enjoyed it. But based on your writing style, you do seem to be about half a bubble off plumb.

Lots of fun and badinage, but in the end both of the fucked over spouses got what they first married, so they deserved what they got. Ron married a guiltless stupid whore, who feel in love with a guiltless stupid predator. So how smart was Ron? Janet didn't do any better with her lack of discernment: she married a rattle snake, so she is surprised she got snake bit?

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Yeah, a fun story about unbelievable people. Having the cheating assholes just slink away was lazy. They are selfish arrogant cruel people, so why wouldn't they try to use their children to persuade their truly better halves to cut them some slack, or at least a check. I think they would both hang around and give the kids enough grief until they were actually paid to disappear; just what they were waiting for.

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A Leave It To Beaver ending, but not bad. Thanks for the effort.

5/5. The quips alone were worth a 5 rating. I laughed so hard I almost went my pants.

Excellent work. Thanks.

Was great! Loved the quips. Would like a re-post with all the names straightened out during the conversations with the detectives corrected to be referring to the proper spouse. Lots of confusion / mix-ups with Mr. Ward vs Mr. Monroe. Was hard to keep straight. Surprised to see both Mr. Monroe and Mrs. Ward just disappear without any contact with kids but that's the way this author wanted it.

Humor alone makes this 5 stars. ...

"Junk food doesn't take from your brain - it adds to your ass."

"dolt thinks - there's an oxymoron"

"I looked at him, the lights were on, but nobody was home."

"It must be in the cheaters' manual to presume your spouse has only one oar in the water - when the truth is cheaters are generally sharp as a marble."

And those were only on the first page - WONDERFUL!

It sure is nice when plans come together and the good guys win one. Good thing that dumbass was so easy to lead around by his dick, it made everything work out well. Had to laugh about the money that made the way around the circuit, "Ron wrote a check to slut #1. She wrote a check to dumbass. Dumbass wrote a check to me".

All of the other one liners were just added enjoyment. Just have to say to Ron and Janet, well played, well played!

You really expect us to believe that Maureen gave up her children. You could at least explain why she no longer loved them or wanted them in her life.

I don't know how I missed this one. I think it may have come out about the time I dropped a kidney stone. Regardless, five stars,

...and I loved it. I will note that the frequency of cliche treats declines as the story unfolds. (sad face emoji)

Nicely woven and complex plot - but clear as a bell (that's a cliche...) For those who find it confusing or incomplete, please reread the last line of 012Say's story.

Keep 'em comin'!