Using Fiction to Alter Reality

"We made a lot of progress here, too. I have been watching them, they are confused. Sometimes the two older ones want to be together. Other times the two girls want to. Never brother and sister. They finally got into it, and I had a chance to sit with the three of them and talk about love."

"Love? Not fussing and fighting?"

"No, their issue is three doesn't work very well and they are in the worst of combinations. They just need to learn that because they love, they will sometimes be hurt, and they need to learn to express that - without fighting."

All the legal stuff was forgotten. I know he does that on purpose. Relationships are important, family is important, the world doesn't control us in our home. But it isn't our home. We are not a family.

<<<<>>>>

In the end, slut #1 was convicted of assault and due to the injuries to dumbass, got three years jail time. Her behavior also lost any chance she had at custody. Her facial scar and months of lawyers sent her into depression - she didn't want to see or be seen.

Dumbass was shot in his left leg. He, too, was a bitter and broken man. The taser led to his inability to get it up, which made him vengeful. The lawsuit between him and slut #1 was epic. He was successful in convincing the jury she had done him wrong, but in the end, they had no real sympathy for him. He was awarded only $100,000.

It turns out, in my divorce settlement, I was able to convince the court that dumbass had used too much of our joint assets in a bunch of lawsuits, all of which were the direct result of his philandering. Every nickel he had left, including the 100k from slut #1 was awarded to me.

The exchange of that money was the most rewarding of all. Ron wrote a check to slut #1. She wrote a check to dumbass. Dumbass wrote a check to me.

It was also a strange time. Ron is an incredible person. He cares about people first. Oh, sure, you can say everybody does that, but they don't. I first noticed with his handling of the children. Ben and Sarah are just 3 months apart, Sarah and Andrea are girls, Ben and Andrea are brother and sister, or said another way, there were three pairings - each of which omitted a different child.

When I see children bickering, I find what they are fighting about and fix it. Ron sees what they need and gets beyond the squabble to help them move closer to one another.

I worried that Ron was building the five of us into a family, without the adults being in a loving relationship. But I was hopeful that would come. I couldn't figure out why someone who was so empathic with everyone else could not see the vibes I was putting out.

Then again, his heart had just been broken and he was relying on me to help him with the strategies of these lawsuits. There is little emotion in the law and none of that helps win your case.

<><> Ron Ward <><>

I started this with the best of times and the worst of times. This past year has been at least both of those. Janet and I never meant to be more than co-conspirators, in a nonlegal sense, of course. But circumstances changed all that. The two stay-at-home parents ended up living together.

It was crazy for a while. Maureen and Luther turned on one another. The DA was after us. The spouses tried to play victims and sued us both. I could not have dealt with it. Janet did.

Janet and I were there to support one another and when things looked dark, we had three young people who absolutely depended on our help. Helping someone else is better than any other therapeutic process.

My emotions run me. I was losing a wife, gaining a child, and gaining a new partner. I just couldn't see us as a couple. We were instead partners. The world was against us, and we joined forces to take on all comers.

It was a time charged with emotion and I think the times consumed me. We were through all the divorce and civil proceedings and all that was left was Maureen's criminal trial. Maureen was a mess and had nowhere to turn. It was during that period I discovered my love for her had died. I knew how she felt and what she needed and was not inclined to do any of it.

I can read a stranger on the street and have more empathy for him or her than I had for Maureen. Her situation should have left me sad. The blow to her face left her with her left eye slightly smaller than her right and a noticeable scar on her cheek. Together with losing everything, she was lost in self-pity. I had only one thought.

There is supposed to be a special bond between children and their mother. While Maureen was a good mother in appearance, both children quickly bonded with Janet. There was a more loving connection which the children felt right away. But I knew my children needed a connection to their mother.

I recorded a message to her, from Ben and Andrea and saw that it was delivered as she awaited her criminal trial. She was staying in a small apartment and still working. I was sure she would lose her job, if convicted, but they were nice enough to keep her income stream going. The only message I got from Maureen was a "ty" after she got the message from her kids. I am sure it was hurtful to see her children happy, without her, but my thought was for them. If Maureen suffered, she'd brought it on herself.

The legal hassles died down and suddenly we were just another family of five. It hit me like a ton of bricks. We aren't a family. Why wouldn't that have occurred to me before? After a little thought, I decided it was a self-defense mechanism. I could help myself best by helping everyone through the crisis. I didn't need to think about my own situation if I focused on others.

Now, it was painfully obvious, Janet had real feelings for me. I'd known that and just refused to deal with it. How would I explain to her that I'd fallen in love with her and not acted on my feelings, because I refused to deal with those feelings. I was in a turmoil trying to decide how and when to tell her.

Then, not a day later,

"What's wrong, Ron?" Janet asked, holding my hand.

"With me or with us?"

"Take your pick." She had a confident and slightly playful look in her eye.

"Why does something have to be wrong?"

"We sleep in separate bedrooms and fantasize about sleeping in the same bedroom."

"You do that, too?"

After that, we didn't.

<<<<>>>>

I was amazed. I don't know how many women I had been with, maybe 10? Four in serious relationships and maybe a half-dozen one nighters. Sex is always exciting with a first-time partner. Even if you think you are in love, your first time is more biological than emotional.

It was not that with Janet. Well, that's not true, it was more than a joining, hoping more would come. We were in love and had waited far longer than people did in this century. I wondered if my grandparents, or their parents had felt such closeness when they finally consummated their love.

I had really loved Maureen, or at the very least, believed I loved her. I never connected with her the way Janet and I did that first time and every time thereafter. Nerd that I am I wondered if I could write about such emotion and capture it in any way people could relate to.

Who thinks about such things? I chuckled at myself. I am not good looking enough to carry off being this stupid. I moved out of my head and left no forwarding address.

Our lives together didn't start with Chapter 1. It's not as easy as you'd think. Janet and I got so we laughed about it. Any normal life involves meeting, getting to know one another, falling in love, marrying, defining your dreams, and starting to live those dreams. The dreams might include careers and children. We met, enjoyed children, plotted the end of bad marriages, got to know one another, and were living the dream before we started talking of marriage.

But it kept getting better and better. Janet told me we were going to have our first, or fourth child, depending on how you count. I had never been happier. We were settling in and life was good.

Maureen was released from prison and just moved on. We never heard from her and have no idea how to contact her. I thought I should have felt badly for her, or our children, or something - but I never did.

Janet had some difficulties with her old and perspective employer. They had held a job for her and groomed her to take it, only to have her want pregnancy leave. She did go back and stayed until she went into labor, or so it seemed to me. But her purpose had changed. She didn't want or need the bigger job, anymore. She spent her time training her replacement. She negotiated to come back in a lesser role - who does that?

I found out about her planned demotion one night after dinner. We were enjoying the three children and awaiting the fourth as she explained her negotiation. "The boss got all agitated and wanted to know why I wanted a leave, then return to a lesser job. You know what I told her?"

"No, I am almost afraid to ask?" I had a twinkle in my eye as I said it.

"I told her, I wanted to be off because, 'Life is grand, you should get one.'"

"I guess you don't care that much whether you remain gainfully employed."

"Not at all, her response was she was fine with that, it would give her something only I could provide - my absence. Then, we both laughed."

I continued to write, and the books continued to sell. We spent most of our time together. Our new addition is Jonathan, after Janet's father. Both her parents died relatively young and she often spoke of them. She claimed it was her father who had taught her sarcastic humor.

<<<<>>>>

The years passed and our love kept growing. I tired of my spy books. I was trying to write an autobiography, called Chapter 6 - because our romance started in the middle. One day Janet told me, "It's bad enough we started in the middle, now we are living in the past and present." The book was difficult and time consuming. Fortunately, a dozen best sellers meant I had lots of time to figure it out.

One of the difficulties was explaining to four brothers and sisters that three of them weren't really related. They had been so young when all this happened and Maureen and Luther had both disappeared - so all were adopted and had the same last name. No one ever suggested that they were anything other than brothers and sisters.

Children do reflect their parents. Girls are more mature, much younger than boys. Janet and I were wondering whether it might be best to hold off on finishing Chapter 6, it might be a shock to the youngsters to find their true relationships.

One day Ben was wondering why he was only three months older than his 13-year-old sister. Her response was priceless,

"I don't have the time or the crayons to explain it to you."