V is for Veronica Ch. 03

"Fair has nothing to do with it Liam, if we're talking about fairness let's talk about who gets more time with her schedule wise?"

I look around. Dang, my purse with my face wash is in the other room. I'm going to have to cut through the Who Gets More Attention fight.

That's the problem with these things. The sex--que rico!

The fights however are not yummy and they happen every time. With everyone--this isn't limited to the two of them, this is just the deal with getting in bed with a couple.

"I started dating her* first!" he exclaims. (*Fucking me; I don't date, but that's not really the point.)

I don't feel like doing this. I wiggle on the pot, wipe up one last time, and flush. I suck my teeth and sigh; now I'm gonna have a cummy coochie for the rest of the day.

They're in the throes of The Nonsense when I walk back into the room. They stop when they see but I continue into the next room like they aren't there to pick up my clothes from the floor by the desk. I shake them out.

I wriggle, pantiless, into my leggings, and I take off the fancy bra. I grab my shirt and shake that out, too. While I'm putting that on, I hear Mara's voice behind me.

"Hey, Janessa--I'm sorry."

I grab my purse from the couch and tuck the bra into it. I look at her.

"I gotta go wash my face," I finally say. She closes her eyes.

I cross the room again but this time take the doorway to the kitchen, not wanting to see Liam. I pull my face wash out of my bag and scrub my face in the sink with just my hands. The water feels good. Carefully, I blot my face with a paper towel. I pull out my tinted moisturizer, rub it in and then wash my hands and nails. The entire process takes me 8 minutes.

I sit down at the table face with my compact and examine what's left of my makeup.

Not bad. Could be worse. I never do full face when I come here, anyway. It'd be a waste of time, but I can't stand how my skin looks without at least something on it.

I reapply some of my concealer on my chin to even out the redness, but everything else is taken care of by the moisturizer which, thank you, has SPF 15 and everything. Same with the tinted lip balm I have.

I smack my lips and close the compact. Mara is standing in the doorway leaning against the frame in a white wifebeater and panties.

"Happy birthday, mama," I smile at her. I get up and pull my purse onto my shoulder.

"Listen," she starts, but I don't feel like it. I hold a hand up.

"Nah, nah. It's okay. I gotta go though, okay, beautiful?" I sling my arms around her waist and give her a kiss on the lips. Chaste. "Feliz cumple."

"Thanks," she mumbles. She's acting bummed but she's not in it the same way I am.

I stop for a moment and look at her. I pull her face to mine. Easily, she dips her head and I yield to her probing tongue, ignoring the flutters in my chest.

"Where's Liam?" I brush her hair out of her face. She still smells like sex and pussy.

"Ugh, wallowing I think, you know how he gets," she sighs.

They all get like that, baby.

"Okay, I'll tell him bye," I assure her, and head back.

I find Liam sulking, shoving their sheets into their tiny washer.

"Hey, macho," I call to him softly, so I don't surprise him. He whips around and I can see the anger in his eyes soften. He reaches for me and lifts me into a tight hug.

I'm stiff at first because I know this is also going to cause a fight, but at the last minute I decide whatever, so I wrap my arms tight around his neck and let him kiss my cheek and ear and jaw. This time he sweeps me into a deep kiss, and I melt like I always freaking do. She takes, but he gives, and his kisses are always so sweet. This one though is urgent, and I feel him trembling.

"Hey," I whisper and lean my forehead against his. "Hey."

"What?" He looks at me with red eyes. Is he--??

"Hey," I say again in a softer tone. "Look, I-"

"I love you. Like, I am falling in love with you," he murmurs.

He's starting to say something else but I can't hear him; the ringing in my ears too loud. I blink, blink, blink.

"--anything, okay?" he's saying. He asked me a question? Shit, he asked me a question.

"I..." I trail off. "What?"

"I said that it's been a slow descent but I can't hold it back anymore, but I don't want anything to change." He looks urgently in my eyes. I guess he put me down at one point because he's cupping my face.

I pull away and turn around, and see that Mara's out of sight and their bedroom door is closed. He turns my face back to his. "You. I want you. I want to get old with you."

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I step back.

"Liam, stop, please. Stop. Look, it is your girlfriend's birthday, she's already in her feelings, and you're fucking around here being selfish and saying all kinds of shit. Go take care of her," I snap, hands on my hips.

"You're my girlfriend, too," he snaps back.

"No, I'm not. I am the girl you and your wifey fuck. Okay? All of this," I gesture between us three--well, him, me and the door. "This is not the same thing. I am a sex toy."

"How could you fucking say that?" he says, shook. "That's--"

"Number one, do not curse at me, I am not a dog. Number two, I don't have the energy for this conversation right now."

He's looking at me like I'm crazy and I can see him getting heated. Guilt swallows my heart, but I jacket it with steel.

"No, I gotta go," I tell him, pulling my hand out of his.

And I turn around and do just that.

When I get home I pass right the fuck out, makeup still on and all.

***

Unicorn (noun) from Late Latin, unicornis

1. a mythical, usually white animal generally depicted with the body and head of a horse with long flowing mane and tail and a single often spiraled horn in the middle of the forehead
2. Something unusual, rare or unique.
3. A bisexual person that enters a relationship with a preexisting couple, due to mutual interest. Aka A Third. A pejorative in the polyamorous community and highly celebrated in the swinger community. Referred to as such because unicorns are horny, magical, and don't exist.

Definitions one and two are courtesy of Merriam-Webster's dictionary. Definition three is from some fuckin' polyamory lexicon on the internet or something.

Definition three is me. I am a unicorn. I don't tell anyone, though; people be having serious opinions.

Look, I like to fuck, I like threesomes, and I like attention, but I don't like relationships. This whole situation works really well for me and I don't have to worry about bringing anyone to meet my parents.

I have a fake boyfriend for that; a nice Latinx partner to bring to family gatherings so las Tías don't get on you for not being married so this way we both get to suck dick in peace.

I wish I could talk to Veronica about this shit with Mara and Liam, though. I can't risk the questions.

Speaking of Veronica, this is the second damn time this bitch has straight up blown me off like fucking whatever. I stare at my text from hours ago that Veronica hasn't even read.

Me: Where tf r u? We're supposed to be clubbing tonight

I scroll through my texts, seeing if there's anybody else I wanna fuck with later tonight. I've avoided Mara and Liam both this week. Well, mostly Liam, Mara doesn't chase.

Mia: um probably $15? $20?

Hmm, I don't like paying covers that high.

Burrito Guy: wrud

What am I doing? Not fuckin wit you again.

Shirley Temple: come thru

Haha, forgot about this guy. No.

*<3 *Padre*<3*: lava los platos ya nena

Ugh, always with the dishes, I'll get there.

Coffee Shop Chola: *tongue emoji*, *splash emoji*

I shoot back two tidal waves, a fire, and a taco.

Dani: did you take my shoes???

I pause. What shoes?

Me: ur shoes son feos

Dani: your FACE is ugly

Dani: it's your turn for dishes, fea

Me: if my face is ugly ur face is ugly too stupid

Dani: good thing I have personality

I grin.

Me: an ugly one

Dani: gimme my fucking shoes back freak

Me: stupid did u even look in ur closet

I wait.

Dani: lololololol

There it is.

After a minute, my sister throws open my door, her boots with the spike heel in hand.

"They were in the closet!" Dani sings, only she says closet in Spanish like 'closeh" because she can never commit to a language.

"JANESSA, DANIELYS!" Papi hollers.

"If you weren't such a freaking slob it wouldn't be so surprising," I roll my eyes.

I glance back at my phone. Nothing from Veronica.

"Y a ti qué te pasa?" Dani shifts her weight onto one hip looking at me.

"Nothing! It's just that Veronica has been, like, blowing me off all the time!" I throw my hands up.

"JANESSA! DANIELYS!" Papi bellows.

We glance at the door in unison and go back to our conversation.

"What's going on with her? She still all sad about her dude?" Dani's eyes glitter. That was the chisme of the year right there, everyone's been talking about it.

Dani, who has had an infuriating crush on Veronica for forever and is exceptionally lesbian--or "sapphic" as her dramatic gay ass loves to say-- has found the news of Veronica's brother hooking up with her boyfriend to be the best love story of all time. Dani is, however, very taken, and better fucking stay that way.

"When is she gonna come over?" Dani waggles her tongue. I hate it when she talks like that and she knows it. Plus?? I know they've fucked around before, too, and I fucking hate that more.

"Ew," I glare at my sister. "That's my best friend."

"When are you going to give girls a chance? I bet she'd go down," Dani, the Marketing Department for Pussy, suggests.

"I never tell you to give dicks a chance," I remind her but I don't look in her eyes. I want to tell her, too. I want to tell her but I just fucking don't. I do like girls.

My mind drifts to pretty Mara and her light brown eyes. And that fucking tongue.

I'm wet.

"JANESSA Y DANIELYS BÁJENSE AHORA MISMO AUNQUE LES DOY UN ZUMBÓN QUE NUNCA EN SUS VIDAS LO OLVIDARÉ!" Papi roars.

"We should go, he's getting mad," she sighs.

"Yeah," I muse. If Dad is threatening a beating, he's at a point not worth pushing even if it is a bluff.

Dani and I head downstairs and we flank our Dad with a huge hug.

"Sorry, Pai," Dani peeks up at him with her perfected puppy dog eyes.

"Don't be mad, Pai," I push out my bottom lip.

Papi sighs irritably and puts his arms around both of our shoulders, "Ya, nenas, please. Jani, the dishes please, don't make me ask again. Dani, please take Litos to work."

I salute and bound to the kitchen, Dani blows her hair out of her face and looks at Carlitos, who is sitting at the kitchen table with all of his plumber whatevers. Pipes and shit, who knows.

"Come on, Caquitos," she jeers.

"Fuck you," he gripes. It's a pretty shitty nickname, no pun intended. Actually--

"Hey!" Pai snaps at him. "Both of you knock it off. And if you weren't smoking all that weed and drinking, maybe you'd be able to drive your own ass, did you think about that? So lose the attitude."

Nope, nevermind. I mind my business. I ain't got nothin' to say about his DUI, even if I do have a priceless pun.

They leave, and it's just me and Pai. It's okay. Next time I'll be on that shit. Ahaha, I'm on fire.

"What's got you smiling, nena?" Pai says in a tone so loving I super cannot explain that I've been making shit puns in my head.

Oh my god, I burst out laughing.

"Thinking about shitty puns," I declare in a fit of giggles, forgetting immediately that I wasn't going to say anything. "About Litos' shitty nickname. It's truly a shit situation all around, wouldn't you agree?"

Now I'm wheezing. It is the stupidest thing but I can't stop giggling like an idiot. I take a deep breath, but the look of strained patience on his face makes me lose any composure I have.

"Janessa, that is truly awful," I hear him lament. I shriek at his resignation and double over. It squeezes a tiny chuckle out of him. There's something wrong with me.

He sits at the table rubbing his eyes. He goes through bills and all that. Probably grading papers.

"You okay?" I ask him over dishes.

"Of course, mi vida, your dad is always okay," he smiles and looks at me above his glasses. I smile. He's lying.

"How come you don't go out and date, Pai? You're so handsome," I bat my lashes. He chuckles and shakes his head. "And you're nice, and you're a single dad, women love single dads."

"Too old," he smiles, marking a paper. He's so freaking crazy. He's a silver fox and he's just wasting away in here. Full head of hair and everything, bitches love hair. Bitches love hair and bitches love dads, like...this is absurd.

"Pops, you're 43, that's the craziest shit you've said ever," I laugh.

He grins and chuckles. "Too crazy to date, then. Why don't you call your mother?"

I turn right around and keep washing in silence. Fuck her.

"Janessa," he intones, but there's humor in it.

"What?" I rack up the dishes and dry my hands. "Why do you ask me that question when the answer is just going to get me in trouble?"

I cross my arms and lean against the sink. My irritation from earlier is back.

He sighs and looks back at papers he's grading. "Are you going out tonight? Why don't you go out and have fun?"

"And paint the town red," I say in my customer service voice.

"I always thought you looked very nice in blue," he smiles. I smile back and wrap my arms around his neck. I look over his shoulder.

So many essays.

"Vete. It's Friday night, and you are too old to be here in the house. Plus you need to find someone better than that mutant of a boyfriend you have," he tells me and pats my arm. "You're a ten and that boy is what, a two?"

"Pai!" I exclaim. "You ranking now?"

He shrugs. Mikey is not at all a two, but shit that was funny.

"He works for now," I smile. He kisses the top of my head. "Wanna come hang out while I grade papers?"

"What part of your syllabus are you at?"

"The US's role in Central America's government."

"Are you doing it through Neruda?" I yawn.

"It's the best introduction."

"United Fruit Company?" I sit at the table across from him and lay my head in my arms.

"Of course. Que te pasa, nena?" Dad looks up at me with a furrowed brow.

"Nothing. Just tired," I mutter. My phone goes off. I rush to look.

Liam: not talking to you is killing me please can we talk?

I sigh.

Me: about what

Liam: about not fucking seeing you for a whole week

Liam: sorry sorry for cursing I miss you so bad it hurts

My guts roil and twist, and I feel myself beginning to sweat. It tracks, though. He texts me every day and Mara only reaches out if I do first so...silence there.

Me: have u talked to mara

Liam: yeah a little. But I want to talk about us.

I make a face. I do not want to talk about us. There is no us. There's an arrangement, one that's obviously on its deathbed. My heart lurches.

Liam: please don't shut me out, please

Me: idk what to say

Liam: do you love me

Me: don't put me in this position

"Nena?" my dad asks softly. I freeze. I can't look at him, he sees everything. If I make eye contact everything will come spilling out; he's my rock. But I can't talk to anyone about this. "You look so sad."

"Me? I'm not sad," I say automatically while staring at my phone.

"Trouble with love?" he asks with a grin.

I glance up at him, "Que?"

"What else would give you those eyes? Aunque se murió alguien," he says with a laugh.

"No, nobody died." I roll my eyes. "Plus there are plenty of things que make people sad that's not death or love, Pai."

"So you admit you're sad," he presses with eyebrows raised.

"Dad!" I snap. "Déjalo!"

"Okay, okay," he holds his hands out in surrender.

Nosy.

Me: look It's complicated

Liam: doesn't have to be

I sigh heavily and prop my forehead up with my hand. Boys always like to oversimplify.

Me: ok so what did mara say

Liam: I'm not talking about me and mara I'm talking about you and me

Liam: there's me and you, you and mara, me and mara and then all three of us

Oh, God, he's been reading the polyamory blogs. I huff.

"I'm glad it's nothing and you're just exercising your lungs." Dad remarks without looking up. I open my mouth to trash talk and he says, "Have you written anything new lately?"

I hesitate. No, I haven't.

"Maybe it will help?" He looks at me with kind eyes and my eyes water until I remember I'm a bad bitch with no feelings and blink them back.

"Maybe," I murmur. I get another text, and I sigh, but when I look, I grin.

Veronica: aight heifer I was type busy w my mom

Me: we goin out ho

Veronica: u r trippin

Veronica: can we do movie night

Anything is better than nothing.

Me: aqui? or ur house

Veronica: urs u got the bigger bed

Me: everybody has a bigger bed than u

Veronica: exactly shut up nos vemos

Yesssss bitch see you soon.

"I think I just watched you go through the entire spectrum of human emotion in five minutes," my dad smiles and shakes his head, scribbling something down.

"You did not," I snark. "I didn't grieve."

He chuckles. "You gonna go through these Neruda papers with me?"

He has a twinkle in his eye when he looks at me and I hide a smile.

"I'm not a scholar," I insist.

"Institutionalized learning does not a scholar make. The pursuit of knowledge does, tu sabes eso," he clicks his pen and marks something else.

I do know that.

"Como lo dice Mark Twain--" he begins.

"Yes, yes, never let your schooling interfere with your education, I know what he says," I interrupt but I can't help but smile.

He glances up at me over his glasses, obviously pleased.

"If you were to go to college, I think you'd find it very rewarding," he says, not for the first time or even for the tenth time.

"Look, Pai, you know my plan is to marry rich."

"It's good to have a back up plan," he chuckles.

My phone again.

Liam: I'm coming to your house

Me: what? no everyone is home

I can't handle seeing Liam and I don't know what the fallout will be with Mara and Veronica's coming over, too plus Dad's home. It's...no. Absolutely not.

Liam: I'm losing my mind Ness please

Fuck him.

Liam: I just need to look into your face

Liam: please and then I'll leave

I chew on my lip. No. Definitely no.

Liam: por favor mi vida

I suck in a breath. I fucking hate it when he speaks in Spanish it turns me on something wicked. When I found out he's half Cuban I almost bust a nut. It's too risky, though. This shit literally never works out, but I was weak and didn't bounce soon enough and now...I can't even ghost him.

Me: only for a few minutes my dads home

Liam: nos vemos dulzura

Just for a few minutes.

I make my way upstairs. I look at my phone at the texts I didn't open.

Dani: the shoes were in my room hahah

Old.

Fritos: u up

Still nope.