All Comments on 'Vacation Pt. 01: Meeting the Family'

There are so many spelling mistakes that I had to spend far too much time trying to work out what you intended to say that I lost the drift of the story!!

Find someone who is able to spell to rewrite it for you!!

That is a great first part and I hope you do continue writing it. I thought the writing was fine and since I actually speak English I had no problem understanding anything you saying in the story.

Dreadful anon is a moron. There were a couple mistakes, but far from enough to distract from the story. Only a grammar nazi wielding a red pen would be distracted from this tale. No, your real, and only, problem here is it's too short. Try not to cut yourself off so abruptly. Cliffhangers are fine, but stopping just for the sake of stopping is not. If your muse quit, wait until she returns to finish. Otherwise great job. I foresee mucho sexual combos here, including Mom stuffed full of cock with a face full of muff parked on her face. I look forward to many chapters. 5*

Jedd

I didn't realize I had a distracting amount of spelling errors in this one! I'll be sure to do a better job checking my work when I release the next part. Hopefully, the story only improves from here!

He acted like a wimp the whole time.

Almost every paragraph held at least one to two partial sentences that consistently interrupted the flow of what would otherwise be a fairly interesting beginning! Erk!

What a wimp.

sheesh, people, this is a story, you know? entertainment?. this is not English class, get over it.

a nice tease so far. agree with the comment it's a little short.

Comments to the contrary not withstanding, your writing is really, really bad. Like not even high school level writing bad. I think your story has possibilities, but you need to show you care about your work by writing in complete sentences and proofreading your work before submitting. Hopefully, you can find an editor to help you improve. You may have the greatest ideas, but if you can't communicate them clearly and succinctly, no one is going to keep reading.