All Comments on 'Valentine's Gift Mix Up'

Passable story but please get an editor.. or spell check. Something

Proof read and read again. Yes it’s the grammar police. Technically a good story tho.

republishing an older story?

Mothers/sons who have that latent desire often need the unexpected opportunity. Touch and visual with the help of libations can lead to beautiful live making.

Good lead in , Great build up and Hot sex! Five Stars and added to favorites!

Good to see you writing again. While there are a few issues an editor can help with, I’m glad to see you back writing in the site.

I have read this story before, maybe last year or the year before....

Great story got 5 stars but proof read. A few little errors can ruin the flow of the story but definitely keep writing

... but I agree with the previous commentators. The concept of the story is great, but sadly, there are too many typos and mistakes.

The beginning of this story was actually really decent. It became apparent in the middle that the sex parts were rushed and not given any or maybe little revision. And by the time penetration happened it was only 2 sentences including climax. I'm sorry but this is a very unforgivable offense, for me personally. The ending felt like an attempt to rectify the lackluster performance, but was completely off putting with the puns.

Thank you for your story, but take time with all parts and flesh them out with details to keep readers interested.

Don't worry about the grammar police, I loved the hard coco and the bate pussy.

Seriously, it was a fun story, thanks!

Immaculate means spotless, pure, and clean as fresh snow on a far-off mountain. Only obsessive cleaners can keep immaculate homes, but it’s a goal we can strive for, like that far-off mountain.

So their food was really clean?

Having read other submissions by this author, I was all set for a first-rate tale, with this one. What a let-down! Now, I realize that - with nearly 48,000 Incest stories currently on Lit's servers, the odds that the plot you're writing has already been done, before, are pretty high. I won't fault an author for that, nor will I accuse him/her of plagiarizing another author's work - so long as it isn't almost a wholesale copy.

The problem with this story lies in its execution. It was just done poorly - as though the author rushed to get the tale submitted before a deadline. As a result, so many things were missed - proper spelling, missing words, unneeded words in sentences, and more - such as switching back and forth between past-tense and present-tense, in the narrative sections of the story - sometimes, even within the same paragraph. That's just poor writing, and Centrum has historically been far better at crafting a good story.

Other things were just plain dumb. No sales clerk will wrap two packages so identically that the customer can't tell them apart. At the very least, he/she will be sure to let you know, "The one wrapped in red is for your girlfriend," and the other gift gets wrapped in pink, or something.

Beyond that, every man knows that there are four words (at least, in the English language) that - when uttered in a precise order - are a precursor to pain: "We have to talk." Any male knows that, and - hearing those words come from Sarah, as she slid into the limo not dressed for a Valentine date - Mark's first move should have been to place the gift somewhere out of her reach. At least, he should have moved it to the other side of where he sat, so she'd have to reach across him to grab it. "Sorry, Babe; if you're breaking up with me on Valentine's Day, you sure as HELL don't deserve a gift. I'll return this to the store and get my money back, thank you very much." Instead, he's so brain-dead that he lets her slip out of the limo with the gift!

Finally, there's the aspect of missed dialog, in this story. Given the things that Mark's father said, during that phone call, there was ample room for some steamy, tawdry dialog - after the call ended - about just how often Clair plans to heed her husband's instructions to "ride her son until he gives her what she needs" and just how hard she plans on riding him. In a rush to finish his story, the author missed out on that.

I hope this wasn't a Valentine Contest submission, because I felt charitable giving it a "3"!

A familiar theme but a good story nonetheless. Please get a proofreader, though!

Okay, the part where you had me messed up was when this woman said she hardly ever drank. Hell, as much as her ass drank in this story, she should’ve had alcohol poisoning! Also, she said her husband doesn’t have sex with her like that anymore. Well if you hadn’t sucked my dick in like 10 years, I wouldn’t want to have sex with you either! Then the son magically goes from quiet, nerdy, shy, pushover loser to a super confident, super stud! No, just no.

Claire shaves her pussy. Oy vey, another shaved twat.

Sarah's a bitch. Mark should go to her house and take the sweater back. Bet Claire would look good in it braless.

Not to dwell on the nitpicky stuff, but, yes, proofread. There are a bunch of typos and other errors that may be spelchek gone awry, as it will, maybe just oversights. But correct words and grammar make a story read so much smoother.

Still, all in all, it was fun. Nice to see the kid get some after a heartbreaking start.

Great story maybe now when the husband gets home her son and her cuckold the husband and she starts to wear heels and really sexy clothes ect keep it going .

Enjoyable and the ending was funny. Wow, Sarah was a bitch with that break up move and took the gift, crazy that she even got in the limo. You definitely need a proof reader, there were some really bad mistakes but the story itself was very nice.

Story spoilt by innumerable typos, particularly at the end. I was finding it hard to work out what it was supposed to say. Don't you check your work?

Story line was solid, and I thought the build up was fine. However, the typos and spelling errors littered through the 2nd and 3rd pages really took the flavor out of it. Also, I felt you could've done a little better with the ending, the climax was kind of a let down (pun intended).

and I would give it another Five Stars if I could! Some stories you read are okay but the really good ones beg to read again and again!

Aside from the constant spelling errors, I enjoyed it. However the story to sex ratio was abysmal, you can't have a build up like that and then go "he fucked his mother until they climaxed". That's just pure laziness. The endings comical sex scene saved you, a little bit

good story , get an editor...

I get so sick of alcohol fueled stories. It's NOT erotic to make stupid decisions. IF it would never happened without the booze then it should never have happened!

After the last story from this author, I didn't expect they'd get from bad to worse. Like watching a fresh coat of paint dry. It's been done before, but because its a fresh coat, you expect a redeeming result; however, it's still the same drab color, with the same nauseous smell, and that nuanced expectation of a momentary distraction fizzles into oblivion.

Please, if you want to portray the reactions of a woman who achieved full motherhood, get it from an actual woman and not the mind of an intoxicated college floozy.

Not even worth a single rating.

The story was good, but you really need an editor.

Good story. The sensitivity of the son towards his mother's needs was logically and beautifully developed. His respect and adoration for his mother only increased after their first sexual encounter. It is a shame that the mother had to be almost drunk to appreciate her son. However, after her sexual and emotional epiphany with her son and her acceptance of her son as a man, this relationship deepen as I would imagine such an incestuous affair would develop and progress.

Nice story you need to continue with it!!!!!!!

(11/11/2022) Another excellent read. Please visit Mark and Clair again. Oh.., and a visit with Eric and Diane would be epic also. Five stars and also on my list.

Awesome story how a son went from heartbroken to Joy in just a few hours. It was a great read, but you need to continue further into this story although it's been a while. Gave it 5 stars.

Thank you. Great story. In fact, I've spent the last 5 days reading all your stories. There're all week storm and very erotic.

Csodálatos történet, de remélem lesz folytatása. Ne hagyd félbe mint a többieket. Nagyon jól folytatható.