All Comments on 'Vanessa'

You may still have feelings for the oldest daughter. But as your character said she had done too much for you to contemplate taking her back. Anyway very thought provoking story about a couple who really shouldn't have got together.

This was a well written story and even though there isn't a great deal of sex it is still a good read. Thank you for writing.

like many writers here, you gave background that had zero bearing on the story and it made for an extra page, as well as some dull reading. Where he went to school, lived, and who he screwed before Arizona was a waste of time. You took what might have been an interesting page and made it into a rather mundane two-plus pages. What exactly was the point of this story?

So often the characters in the stories do the wrong thing, and then their partners respond in ways I consider inappropriate. The male in this case did the right thing in a good manner.

there are putr programs that can easily construct an outline of a story when a person enters the required info. This one and all others like it follow the same exact path which let's me know that's what's being used. Yeah sure, the writer can tweak the hell out of it but the story is just that always, just a story originally written by a program. So you get as lowest a score as allowed, if possible I'd make it no more than a 5. Besides all that, there's no need to pretend you're a male, that doesn't wash and yeah I can tell that too by the way you write what you write or is it edit? There is sabolutely 100%ly no original work in this story. Go back and think a bit before submitting another OK? U 2 are subject to criticism even if it isn't to your liking - such a requirement comes only from PUTAS who NEED hyping and are heavy maintenance.

i knew someone like her. they are great actresses.

Robert sounds like one mighty stupid man. I guess we are suppose to feel sympthatic these days to STUPID people?

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this idea that past lives of the person you are in love with does not REALLY matter is absurd. This stupid little man's delusional ideas cost him a lot of pain.

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Robert's reaction to the lying cheating whore was weak shallow and spoke VOLUMES about how Vanessa could trick him. Her agument that Robert never really loved her... her smirk at the brief lunch room meeting... needed a much stronger response.

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In at the end end Robert telling Vaneesa's MOM how he felt... NOT Vanessa.. was hardly satisfactory.

I thought this was well-written and smacks of realism. The "hero" of this story (Rob) was obviously too-trusting and learned this the hard way. The fact that he really did not date anyone for quite a while after breaking up with Vanessa suggests he was both emotionally weak and also very hurt by her deception. Both men and women can be vulnerable; we are all human after all. When we love someone, we let down our defenses because we give our emotional selves to the other person. This makes one fragile and at risk to be hurt if he/she is the one rejected for another. Vanessa was obviously doing something on the side with Lane, yet Rob never suspected. I'm surprised her kids never let anything slip -- usually this sort of thing is tough to conceal (two-timing behavior, that is). There is only so much time in a day. Vanessa had to work full-time plus take care of her children. Add sleeping, eating, going to the bathroom, and other activities of daily living, and there just is not that much free time to carry on two relationships. There should have been some clues for Rob but maybe there really are women who can carry off such a deception -- natural actresses, I suppose. Despite my issues with credibility, I liked the story and I disagree with another reader who alleges the story was modified from a computer-generated tale -- it does not read that way at all. Thanks for writing.

She was obviously interested and sounded like the more ineresting woman. It might have turned into something and would have, if nothing else, been a bit of revenge.

This story is extremely well written. Not one error in understanding or grammar that I could detect! Just like reading the best of K.K., Ohio, or HKD. The author has an exceptional, and for a younger writer an unbelievable, command of the English language. He even got the inclusion in his text of a reference to Italian renaissance architect, Bernini. I don't believe that this story is a program based tale that has been modified by the author - what prove is there of such an assumption? I'd say that it's too good to be program generated! RAG

Great story --- really realistic ___ that's how it is ---- I've been there.

<p>I liked the story. I thought he had some in site to what he needed, he was blindsided and was trying to struggle with what he needed to do, and not cross the lines of sexual harassment that would get him fired. I'm a little more sensitive to it now a days since I seem to spend every other month doing some form of sensitivity training for my company.</p>

<p> Seems that this is the newest thing for our corporation to promote this year, so I can see why a character would have this foremost on his mind when he deals with a work place romance. One thing I can't help but remember from my latest training is that, even if you had a relationship with someone in the past, if you give out any unwanted attention, even if it is to give them flowers, at least for my company, its considered sexual harassment and could cost you your job, even if you used to date, but are no longer doing so. Go figure.</p>

<p>But I do see Harry's point too.</p>

<p>Robert didn't find out about her marrying Lane from her, he found out from her sister. Other than getting drunk he didn't really respond to what she did. While she was growing distant and said she wanted to "resolve" her feelings for another man, and needed to separate herself from Robert, every other person on the planet knows that is the kiss of death, but Robert strangely didn't.</p>

<p>Robert seemed too careful about how to do the right thing, while letting Vanessa walk all over him. I'm not saying that he needed revenge on her, but he needed to truly have it out with her before he walked away. Which leads me to my next point, I agree with Harry again in the point that Robert had it out with Vanessa's mother, not Vanessa. Vanessa screwed him over, Vanessa used him, and both Vanessa's sister and mother tried to make what she did right, not Vanessa.</p>

<p>On one hand I could see why she would be too cowardly to do the right thing, but on the other hand Robert never pressed the issue as a character that most of us would in our life. Robert gave up right about a year and a half of his life to Vanessa in one way or another, and neither character in the story had the ability to really talk to each other when they should have. Vanessa when she picked Lane over Robert, Robert when he decided he didn't want to either talk to Vanessa's family (he ran, got a new number, condo, and changed his job), and at the end when Robert should have told "Vanessa" why they wouldn't work out, instead of her mother.</p>

<p>It wasn't enough to make me dislike the story, I kind of liked it. But it needed a little more something so that I didn't really pity them both (^_^)</p>

-Risq

But not enough development of the relationship with Vanessa.

Revenge may make you feel better for a while, but the knowledge that you missed a bullet is better. Makes one understand why she was divorced from her first husband.

Rob should count his blessings and get on with his life. She wanted to take him for everything, but he was smart enough to preclude this. I guess there are women like this. Thamk God I never met one. Good story.

Technically, this story is clearly written with virtually every sentence understandable, a lack of significant grammatical errors, and a reading that is smooth sailing. Vanessa is a weak character with indecision as to who she wants as her second husband, Rob or her previous boyfriend. She is already divorced and has two young kids. Rob is perfect for her and her kids yet she decided on her previous boyfriend to be her second husband. Actually, Vanessa and Rob both turn as weak characters in the story, but this type of situation occurs in real life and renders this story believable though we expected a different outcome to a well prepared "Loving Wives" story. Vanessa and Rob finally are not communicating with each other, yet each one is talking with Vanessa's mother and sister.

On another issue - the story could be the result of an outline generated through computer programing. However, while this in itself is a possible, it seems unlikely that the essential details (which made the story what it is) were could not be computer generated. For the actual writing of this story an author is required. There is the possibility that the author (Ntropy) could have had one or more writers help him prepare the story, and this would be acceptable - But then a multiple authorship for the story might be expected, or in the least an acknowledgment of those that assisted the author with certain details of his writing and with also with the editing. RAG

Slightly painful to witness but he was very lucky. Of course, he had to believe in order to enjoy life, and certainly wiil have a lot of problems getting into a new relationship in the future. At least he did not do anything to put himself in jail which would have happened with many hot tempered individuals. Vanessa seems to need to visit a head shrinker or two.

Just think how screwed he would have been if he would married this crazy conniving whore. Thanks for the good story.....Rich

Loved the whole story .. the un-grateful Bitch got what shw deserved. A life alone and wondering What Might Have Been.

where I grew up theres a saying Sorry For Your Luck,

T.S. Vanessa

Curt

a marriage founded in jealousy won't last...and it's too bad. I mean, Vanessa was in love with the wrong guy and it didn't work out.

I enjoyed the story emincely because of the things that she did to him and he was able to get on with his life and did not criticize or degrade her. Her reply,"you bastard," was her admission of the way she had acted. I love it.. He was a very lucky man she returned the engagement ring, his clothing and all of the deposits that he had to submit. Most women would have laughed at him and said the ring was a present and she changed her mind amout getting married because it is a woman's perogative. We do learn by our mistakes and I hope he does also.

for real. A program that writes stories?? You need a shrink. Harry is there any chance that you might, just might ,find a story you like? Maybe "loving wives" is not your genre.

This idiot guy is played like a guitar and doesnt know it. She gets everything she wants and tells him he is a bastard for wanting his stuff and ring back. The little gold digger was trying to make money even off of using him as as shill. Forget the engagement, forget the marriage, when you are in a committed relationship, one on one, with a person by agreement, all others are outside the realm of reason. When she asked for time, the ring should have been given over instantly and the belongings transferred back to his abode. Granted is a dumb ass, undoubtably his degree was earned somewhere the mentally challenged attend. But he gave up his chance to be number three for the golddigger by refusing momma, the woman is a whore, for sex she offers to let you pay her way in life. The sister on the other hand sounded like a very good woman. Harry is right about the story but I rated it higher because I thought all of Roberts words and actions were stupidly funny and that V was a very skilled con artist.

I like your story. It was well written and very realistic when it comes to breakups. Nicely done. I hope to see more work from you.

....kind of denigrate the believability of Vanessa's character.Or her actions.Bothersome-they don't belong-pistolpackinpete

There are two types of stories in this category- (1) cheating wife and (2) slut wife. There are all about the martial condition, consequences and characters otherwise they would be group sex, erotic couplings to another sexual category where the characters happened to be married. I enjoy the drama associated when a spouse betrays or have trouble keeping their vows. Frankly, the slut wife (or husband) stories are boring since everyone is a consenting adult. Cuckold storiss are just stupid - why would a man let someone else fuck his wife and he stay true to his wife? Even if he has performance problems they are other solutions available. If they "open" their marriage both spouse should be free to chose other partners. Anyway, a realistic and very human story. Thanks!

I thought it was a good story with real feelings. I think we all have met a bitch like her. Thanks for the story and your time.

takes the time to turn out such drivel as this. It's entertaining tho not pleasing since it's no more and no less than the sort of crap most peeps turn out these days. Too bad cause the premise isn't all that bad.

you were to hard on her it's not her fault she used you and her kids to get what she wanted, she only did it because you were an idiot she should have gotten you to suck off lane your stories have good plots you just can't tell them very well. If a man or woman done what she done in your story there would be no talking and passing back notes, no walking away, and no not telling everybody what a true cunt she was.

Since he was Robert Wagner, Vanessa should have made like Natalie Wood and drowned. Ha ha.

What is the only wood that sinks? Nately wood

That bridge was not only burned by vanessa but blown apart. For her, the positive, there was one run through to get someone and another go around with another would be quite easy. Kids and sex, at least

Someone as Selfish as Vanessa would never give up

and the chase would be on. I think this needs an Ending.

Where vanessa gets some of her own Selfishness thrown in her Face.

Another fine story by an excellent author. My compliments. R.T.

Odd that Mom and April didn't have any idea what she was up to and they didn't warn our hero. Odd that she didn't call him herself when her marriage ended, in her shallow world she would believe he'd be happy to have her back.

Why would a young man with a good job want to date, let alone marry, an older woman with two children? It is not like there were no pretty young single girls available.

Women are very conniving to get what they want and Vanessa is just an example.

Nigh impeccable story about a cunning, ultimately shallow user. Read this & take heed! The ' Vanessas' are out there. She's a geat villianess- maybe a couple notches below the one in ' Mercenary' by Salamis but still eminently formidable . Would love to read about Brad's experience with Vanessa and how he lost by winning her.

... great story, honest and real. One of the best I' read at this site.

It happens all the time. Thanks for sharing.

Super Romantic Revenge Story. I would have done same, as the Author wrote.

Thanks!

There is not an iota of human touch anywhere, as if written by a robot ! Still 1* !!!!!!

He wouldn't recognize a good writer if one came up and bitch slapped him in his face.

In this case the male is way too clueless. Any time a story starts with, "we didn't talk much about our pasts," it seems only a cheap setup for future problems. I guess there are lots of couples who are shallow enough to not learn much about each other before agreeing to marry.

A wonderful story, truly engaging. Too bad there was never any more written. A rich storyline.

.....a wonderful depiction of a young man's "rite of passage"....flying colors on this one

That all marriages that happen in Vegas are doomed from the start. Probably not true, but its revelation made me smile. I do like how this story isn't about dodging a bullit, yes it still "winged" him. Well Done!

Great storyline well written and very pointed and direct. The story flowed rapidly and carried high emotions. The raw tenderness and pain of jilted love was omnipresent and it was handled expertly by this very skilled and talented author. Thank you for a nice read.

He was careful, good and learned quickly - then lived on

Smart man with the right heart - good for him -

Nice job thanks -

this escapade happens more than you realize, TK U MLJ LV NV

This is one of the best stories out of the hundreds I have read here. It is well written and I really appreciate a plot without fantastic melodrama. The main character is intelligent and sane. His response is appropriate and balanced. Write more!

I enjoyed reading this one. Please continue spreading pleasure like this!

He did the one thing that essentially never fails

He kept his cool, left her to her own devices, and moved on with his life

By the time time she "realized" her mistake, any power she had over him was long gone

Good work :)

It's a shame ntropy is no longer posting.

Vanessa might have had a pretty pussy but she was a fucking cunt. A using, manipulative cunt. Glad she fucked up. Now she is alone and our hero is free from his memories to pursue new adventures. Perhaps the greatest revenge ever.

Damn is that me saying that?

I forgot to give 5*****, when I read it first. I think the hero was very lucky to get rid of this cunt. If he had experienced the betrayal after some common years she would have used the court system too. He was extra lucky, he could restart his life without material burden..

A fictional character, thinking like an adult, talking like an adult and acting like an adult. Who knew it was possible on the Literotica site!

Ntrppy, you have committed an outrage against the BTB tolls. Good going!

A man who acts like a man. He did the right thing for him. He did not have to "burn" her. He let her have what she wanted and schemed to get and he moved on with his life. When "mom" wanted him to try again when she came back, he again did the right thing by telling her not a chance in hell. No meeting, no talking, no anything with her other than good bye. He is a man. Thank You

No one give a shit about him burning some bitch, it's about how the husbands are portrayed dumb ass. If he acts like a man instead of the winy bitch whore like you want him to act like then BTB'er have no problem. As far as the troll comment have you looked in the mirror lately, Shrek!

It's too bad Ntropy586 only wrote two stories.

I agree with 'Tim'... you have a 'way with words' and we could do with far more offerings from you. Your latest 'Mistake' is short but sweet... please let us have some more??

realize 'THIS'...TK U MLJ LV NV

Nice to read about a MAN who faces a tough situation and does not turn into a quivering school boy. He also does not turn into a homicidal maniac! Like a man, he faces his injury, deals with it rationally and cleans out the wound, and he heals. When faced with the offer to re-inflict the wound, he declines politely. Perfect. Live, learn, progress.

The ones I feel bad for are her mother and the kids, they lost a valued family member and are left with a shallow loser.

A sensible man would just walk away from this woman. Why waste more time on her and her latest boyfriend/temporary husband?

one thing seems to be universally true. They are so caught up in themselves they are oblivious to the impact their actions have on the people around them. Nor do they care.

Honestly, the best part of this was the originality of the villainess. Instead of falling for a line of shit or being drugged and drunk, the woman was actually intelligent, had a plan, and did things which while morally reprehensible, were sensible.

That being said, besides that it was a reasonably well written very straight line tale with the only surprise being her actions, which were beyond the pale.

So good writing. Put a bit more emotion and complexity into things.

become a sniveling, crying, worthless drunk.

3 stars.

better then the other 2 of your tales.

your choice of taleing isn't my cup,,

it left me with a blah feeling. I guess that I just did not connect with Rob.

It was well written and I, personally, liked the details that others want you to remove. Thinking back, it may be that because you just gave a summary that I didn't connect.

Also, he got his 'revenge'. What do the BTB crowd want? Any physical revenge would also hurt her kids and mom. Her lover may not even have known about her ploy.

Anything else would have had the potential of winning him a bunkmate named Bubba.

Thanks again,

ttom

always send out a scout to acquire any info. TK U MLJ LV NV

...are truly the face of female evil in this world. Lying, cheating, devious and deceitful cunts are all they are.

I for one don't wish anything bad for the Vanessa's of the world. Instead, I hope they get what they deserve. Not what they 'think' they want.

Would like to see some new submissions!

totally devoid of emotion.

All three of them, in fact. I certainly hope you'll be writing some more.

Five stars.

Still an all time favorite. Five stars.

Though not surprising, since "girls" doing things to make a boyfriend jealous is so well-known as to be a cliche, the degree of that in this story is almost scary...

From her perspective, I have a little trouble seeing how this played out...

I mean is it a case of her thinking "What an idiot. How can he think I'm in love with him? Ok, apparently he loves me and my kids and my family, but geeze come on... am I really that good of an actress...? Oh well, as long as I can get Lane jealous enough so he'll marry me, whatever happens to this guy isn't my problem..."

The alternative would be "It's killing me to be lying to him like this - I know he loves me - but I can't help that I love Lane and need him to step up. *sob* I hope he'll be ok *sob* when he finds out *boo hoo*..."

Yeah, like anything makes that second one believable... let her find someone else to deceive and abuse...

I gave this only 4 stars, not because it didn't deserve more because it does. However, I gave it the four stars only because of how you cut it short. You could, I guess, write a sequel to this and explain what happened to Vanessa after she found out that her good ole ex fiancée doesn't want anything to do with her selfish and callous bitchy-ass self. All that aside it is a pretty good story I just wish it was a bit longer because it was a good read.

and any offspring. TK U MLJ LV NV

A very good story...A selfish person will always soon or later pay for her selfish and deceitful actions...She didn't even thought about her two children's happiness...4*

You sure can write and get the parties feelings into the story. Well done .to bad you droped off the radar . Hope to her some more from you some day.

Brings a whole new dimension to "batshit crazy".

One of the best stories I have read in a while. It is always a delight to find one. I was probably as naive as he, but was fortunate to find a good woman. It was nice to see a woman who wasn't a slut, but just went off the rails, for all we are told, for no good reason.

Good writing!

So we could learn how his life turned out.

Since you don't enjoy his writing, and feel that he is incompetent then I invite, nay, dare you to do better. Instead of writing comments anonymously, post it with your username as well as post your own stories. We all have our opinions, and, as they say, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all smell, you and we are all entitled to our own opinions. That having been said, don't hide like a coward under the anonymous heading, post them with your user name and be proud to have your thoughts known to all....

To Ntropy, thanks for the offering.

No crazy fights, no violence, just a clean separation from a lying, cheating bitch. And even better, without alienating her family. Nice.

When commenters use this section to snipe at eac other. For my part, I tend only to leave comments when I want to thank the author for a superb job.

That having been stated, I doubt the author-I could be wrong-values my praise any less or rejects my honest evaluation any less because I do not have a profile.

I have yet to see a profile where that person used his or her actual name-nor have I seen any info on their profiles pages that accurately identifies them.

Basically all commenters are anons just some have chosen to give themselves clever anon names

LOG INTO FACEBOOK

FIND PROFILE OF dearbornmt@yahoo.com

Married female serial cheater detailed on that profile

SHARES VANESSA'S NARCISSISTIC PERONALITY DISORDER

Actual Factual True Life IN THE FLESH INCARNATION

SHE TOLD ONE OF HER NUMEROUS LOVERS

''I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE DESTRUCTION I CAUSE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES''

She made that comment after she had destroyed his reputation that cost him his job his marriage and his family

so lame.

You could have avoided all the needless back story about the couple meeting...

then change the settings......its live with what you got, not what you thought, TK U MLJ LV NV

G is for Gay Gay Gay.

The breathless tone of this frango mint of a story is the clearest evidence that this writer is captain of Team Gay.

Is this one of those wierd sendups? A ploy or a joke?

Bailing!

It was very believable. I really liked

Forget about idiots comments like anonymous 80/25/17. This guy has the brain capacity the size of a peanut. This was nothing gay about thus story. This guy is obviously an alternate facts believer!

I enjoyed the story, the character development and the resulting emphatic ending. Of course, with all first person stories, the personality of the "self" is always going to be much more richly drawn than any other character. During Robert's description of Vanessa's character coming across throughout the courtship, we are only going to get the same impressions as Robert receives and reports. Readers' shock of this Lane boyfriend emerging completely out of left-field is bound to match that of the clueless Robert. It is also quite logical for Robert's careful, calculating character, that he would allow Vanessa a couple of days to cope with any last-minute collywobbles she might have about marrying Robert, after admitting still having feelings for an old lover. Leaving her to consider longer than, say, 48 hours, and not insisting that this evaluation of her feelings is made without her having equal isolation or access with each "candidate" is perhaps naive, but again, within the bounds of believability. The next shock of hearing about her running off to get married, plus the subsequent confrontations over his financial and emotional investments in the vindictive scheming little cunt, means that the narrator has all sane readers 100% behind him. He has had a very lucky escape and therefore the result was as satisfactory as can be expected. The fact that her doomed-to-failure marriage was so short-lived and Vanessa has confused her kids, alienated her sister and disappointed her mother, probably contributes in spades to Robert's heart healing up nicely. I gladly gave 5 stars to an interesting read.

What's not to like in this story. A truly evil, conniving woman plays a decent man for her own gain. He reacts in a mature, reasonable manner. Nothing but admiration for a man who stands by his convictions.

a realistic man who is justifiably pissed off but reacts in a way that avoids blowback onto him. Well written well crafted story. Good job

make the other guy jealous is a tried and trusted method of many a sociopathic slut.

realistic story, moving on in an orderly fashion and with as much indifference as is possible is THE only way to deal with that type of person, screaming rage and convoluted revenge only strokes their ego, letting them know you give a shit.

Excellent story, excellent writing. Thanks for posting.

Sounds like he dodged a bullet for sure, nobody wants to be tied to crazy for the rest of his life. Thanks again, 5 stars.

While well written the storyline itself is ordinary. Couples breaking up while planning for a wedding is not that unusual e.g being left at the altar, cold feet at the last minute, fear of commitment, bachelor/bachelorette party gone bad, an old flame shows up, etc. Nor does every brokenhearted bride/groom-to-be become desperately depressed. Most go through some period of loss and grieving but end up fulfilled at the end of the day.

So our hero grieved for a while then moved on. Good for him. That the selfish ex-fiancé's marriage was a bust doesn't come as a surprise to the reader and probably will not change her. We never did learn why her first marriage did not last. It would be reasonable to assume that Vanessa's selfishness played a part.

Probably the saddest untold part of the story are the children. There was no hint that their father was in their lives after the divorce. And there are indications that they really liked Rob and would have accepted him as daddy. They were uprooted from their home and extended family to move to Utah so Vanessa could slake her lust. That's tragic.

It was great to see him move on without revenge and start looking for happiness. That was an excellent story!

Don't know bout the rest of you but I got a palpably femmy vibe off this writer. There was something so Richard Smmons-y about his superlatives.

And what guy with anything swinging between his legs lets his woman go off to "find herself" (and her former boyfriend) with HIS ring on her finger. Danger! Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!!

That's my new definition of a fledgling cuckold, where the guy gives her a happy kiss as she goes off into the sunset with your own ring on her finger W.T.F.F!!

Whatever. But it was good to see this guy dump the bitch.

The marriage only lasted 6 months? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you...!

A great story from A author who stopped writing way too soon. Perfect revenge.