All Comments on 'Varna Ch. 04'

Thank you! Waiting for the next one!

You are doing a wonderful job of character development along with building a sense of wonder as the story unfolds. Am in awe of your skills. Thank you.

This is a wonderful story, but it seems like Tauma went a little too far in taking revenge for the death of his horse. Taking Marik’s horse seems like a proportionate response, but also killing the man raises the conflict to another level. Particularly since his father the Duke is watching everything. But who knows, maybe it will impress his father.

I so enjoy your stories. Thank you! When I come to the end of what's posted, it's "oh no!! Already?"

Anonymous commenter on the killing of the man for the death of the horse - the ground glass in the horse's feed was itself dramatic escalation. Tauma's attack on Merik in the corridor was tit-for-tat, and it didn't stop things. Tauma's being brutal, yes, but he's also sending a message to Merik's minions - "don't get involved, because I will hold YOU responsible for your own actions." That will tend to isolate Merik. Strikes me as "great power" political thinking. I suspect it will impress Tauma's father more - though that's not, likely, why Tauma did it.

I appreciate the verisimilitude and truth that if people truly wish to communicate and get to know each other, they can AND they do (from the time they exchanged heartfelt letters). While I don’t think it is absolutely necessary to showcase what Tauma and Glasha share sexually, I’m evenly divided on if it should, as some part of me thinks it would endear the readers to them more. One thing I do not understand (and feel needs fleshing out) is the use of time magic: Tauma clearly knows of its existence, but I remember nothing being addressed about it previously–so I would ask you include sufficient detail in following installments.

It amazes me Glasha takes the lead in showing Tauma how to please her, as it seemed she was VERY shy before–but obviously now she’s asserted herself well during Tauma’s absence. It truly surprises me on one level how Glasha later knew about Renna, but chose not to tell him; she then amazes us further by saying that she knew his heart and that he would not be tempted; this establishes both as virtuous and certainly far excelling their peers. Additionally, when you paint Renna’s interactions with him, you display all the common “true interest” body-language cues (very textbook) that Renna uses to communicate she was genuinely interested in Tauma (although she was intended to be sent under false pretenses). I thank you for properly sharing Tauma’s thoughts with us, so we share in the narrative and how he processes these experiences. The real question became what is the true depth of how much Renna knew about that rendezvous? What surprises me is how she backs off–BUT we do not hear from her again in the chapter. I wonder if you will use her as an ally later on? You deliberately obfuscate her origins, as she could be the daughter of a Gerdar or someone with some influence outside of Varna…but you keep your readers in the dark.

I enjoy Tauma’s wit upon seeing Aludar’s baby girl, with him saying, “she didn’t have much to say for herself.” jajajajajajaja. You certainly show him prudent beyond his 18 years–especially when facing Renna’s obvious advances–because he distances himself and turns her down cold. He also didn’t permit Nathal’s (and especially) Merik’s uncouth remarks about Glasha to goad him into a fight he couldn’t have won; I love that he asks Yazgash to teach him to fight, as he sorely needs it; he doesn’t ignore Durgat, but addresses him honestly (which I’m sure Durgat respected). Nice touch to show him listening to Glasha’s suggestion to approach Nathal and speak with him in an effort to see if his move into the spare adjacent quarters ruffled his feathers (no use having another enemy).

You illustrate well the huge gulf separating Nathal (a narcissist), to Merik (extremely selfish and cruel, perhaps a bit sociopathic) and Aludar, someone very down-to-earth. Then you dump a fact into our laps I don’t believe any reader could have predicted, namely Glasha divulging Tauma’s father used Renna to consider each for the right of succession. I appreciate you using Sanatha to parade Glasha around the palace in order to show all should respect her as an equal (something that wouldn’t have happened had it not been done); I’m hoping you show Sanatha off more in succeeding installments, as she could prove an equal lynchpin to helping Tauma advance his own growth as a person and a leader. Later Merik savagely beats Tauma, and we witness truly how detached his father is with him, and only being interested in “appearing” to settle the row Merik caused by trying to rape Glasha. Can’t believe anyone wants less than to see Tauma murder Merik (after the fashion of the story about the grandfather’s succession tale); he increased that likelihood once he maimed Tauma’s horse Kisa with the ground glass: that assures (in my mind) that Merik earned one excruciating death. However, I exceptionally enjoy Tauma’s exchanges with Hurma and how Hurma’s family so welcomes/accepts Glasha. The only reaction outclassing Hurmas’s to Glasha is Sezima’s: I so love how he says, “I REALLY like her (because of her directness and honesty)!!” I think we shall see some powerful alliance formed with both Hurmas and Sezima on these accounts–and rightfully so! About the only thing I look forward to more is how much magic Glasha’s father will teach them both–and how well they will employ that knowledge for proper uses.

Exceptionally well-crafted! That’s why I decided to deliver a truly in-depth review. Despite a few things that could be additionally fleshed-out, this is nearly another masterpiece and much deserving of a 5. Well done.

I am completely hooked on this story, and have been ever since "smitten." Can't wait for the next episode.

This gets better and better. I am a bit unsure about killing a man for killing a horse

There's is something in canids, (both dogs & wolves), which can be broken when they are young. The result is they become mean; they will bully their siblings, savagely destroy prey, instead of killing & eating, as is normal behavior.

I have studied, witnessed & experienced this malady. In my 20's, I raised & domesticed wolves. The pack alpha usually takes care of the problem, in the wild. The conundrum I found myself in, was I was seen & treated as the alpha. (I had as many as 23 full grown wolves at one time. To go into a compound with 20+ 110-140# wolves you damn well better be the Alpha).

They were not dangerous, I trusted them w-children, including my own, but they are pack animals. A pack of domestic dogs will do the same thing if they are given the short anount of time needed, together to form the pack dynamics & hierarchy. There was a large dog, a Gordon Setter, (think black slightly stouter Irish Setter.) when it got loose from my neighbor's place, it would come to the wolf compound and harass the wolves. It's like the damn thing was taunting them. I had a Springer Spaniel, at the time, and there was no problem with her coming into the compound; it was like the pack took her on as a mascot, or honored guest. They didn't include her pack dynamic displays, nor bully her or threaten her. She was lightening quick, and they could play for hours, chasing each other.

To see a 35# Springer chasing 2-3 wolves was a sight!

But I digress. To solve the problem of a 'broken' wolf the Alpha will first enforce their dominant status over them. If that doesn't get them to cool it, the Alpha, w- help from others will kill the broken member of the pack.

I've had to do the same, to insure pack harmony.

Merik is broken; likely due to the psychological abuse of his parents. Tauma gave him a warning, and he ignored it, which is typical behavior. Merik is broken, and now, needs to be put down.