All Comments on 'Varna Ch. 15'

King Theoden would have been proud! Well told.

Yet another great chapter delivered to a faithful readership. This is a complex tale to weave, with so many moving pieces. The telling is masterful. I am so, so, so hooked!

This story is so very good.

Thank you for explaining who Gedere was right off the bat. I couldn't recall exactly who he was. I also thought that the fight scenes were extremely well-written and very realistic.

Whew... I seem to have been holding my breath somewhat while reading this... very, very well done!

Great story, really Five stars.

But: 'dispossessed by Sanatha and I' hurts my brain so much. You wouldn't think twice to say 'dispossessed by me', so why do all you (young?) writers lose all sense of grammar when you put another person in that combination?

"I" is the form of the first person pronoun when it is the subject of a verb/sentence. In other cases, use "me".

on your skeins of words.

Another 5 stars..*****Good sir

LOVE IT!!! Beksha's out and good riddance!! No one will weep Durgelel's passing (hard to believe he could time-walk, much less deflect one aether arrow). I'm sure his face would have reflected pure horror had he known it was TAUMA that offed him one second before that arrow caved his face in!

I can only imagine Durgat ground his teeth down to nubs waiting until he could finally kick ass; I'd love to read about Durgat's Day and how many losses they inflicted on those mercenaries.

Bless Hurmas! He was careful and thought out his moves. Sometimes it does pay to be cautious and especially to get more information. The main thing was he didn't command his forces foolishly, nor did he risk them needlessly.

Tir Tanle...have to love her. She really does love and care for Tauma (even though he is a bit slow at times). That woman is worth her weight in gold!! Aspar was an unexpected but great addition to Tauma's counterattack (and thanks for including that bit about he and his men were eager to prove themselves).

You included tons of suspense and knew exactly where to craft your impacts with how you worded your sentences and varied the structures. Well done! 5

Another wonderful chapter.

Brilliantly written!

A lot of historical battles are largely won before the sides ever engage, based on who is where and with what. This didn't remind me of any specific battle, but instead of how in Napoleonic-style wars (linear warfare with muskets, plus Napoleon's innovation of independent corps) you tended to have battles that changed drastically with the arrival of friendly forces, for instance Waterloo or Gettysburg (day one, specifically).

Great story, you are a gifted writer. However, I find too many characters to remember who they all are. And I can't follow the geography. A Character List (as in at least one of your other stories) and a Map would add greatly to your reader's comprehension.