All Comments on 'Very Close'

Awesome but could have been longer and fuller at the end

Yes I agree the last part could have been longer.

The first part of this story just flowed. It was so easy to write up to where they were in the bath but after that I had real problems. I tried having them go out in public with Anita in one version then Pru in another taking on the world and it meant the bond between them was broken and the story became just a narrative.

I had no way of moving the story forward just with these two characters because if one is focused on the outside world then she isn't focused on her partner and as this is very much a love story that just can't work.

So the interest from the driver's report is in the two of them and the stress Anita feels is for Pru just as Pru's concerns are for her which keeps the love alive.

I thought extending the story was really just milking it after all you have found they will be together for some time and that neither could imagine life without the other.

On balance I thought that was enough.

Thanks for your comments and thanks for having read the story. It's why we write them.

Cheers.

To think I almost skipped over this one, but I am glad I did not this is a very good story, the flow was good, but the ending could have been a bit longer, but still I give it 5 stars and my hope is that there will be more to come

I really liked it. There was a warmth there that was very pleasing, very genuine. Yes, I can see where you had a bit of a problem with flow, but taking the focus away was a good idea.

I did find myself saying a number of times that this sort of thing can't really happen, but then I think of my wife's and my courtship and later marriage, and I know that it isn't so.

A very simple and nice read. Sometimes these are the best