Vic E 04

Vic E 04

"Jamie, this is my landlord, Vic E. Vic E, this is Jamie and I'm bringing her on board to help me get through the rally and off roading season, so."

"(Tee, he, I think Vic E and I wear the same size undies then, Marla)."

"Probably. Vic E keeps my work orders straight, he keeps my bank account fat, he teases a lot of guys on the Strip while he's supposed to be working for my detailing business and he runs reports, so, go ahead, Vic E and tell Jamie why Pete and I didn't make it past one weekend alone then. (His baby balls will explode if I don't let him carry on, Jamie, so)."

"(Tee, he, you so own him, boss)."

"Well, it's just facts and figures, but with just a little research, I mean, Pete has committed over 76.2% of his assets into sports, hobbies and luxury cars, but hasn't sunk a dime into living accommodations for the long haul, which might be fine for a single person, but it spells disaster and reckless abandonment when a long term partnership such as a relationship comes into play and Pete has a better chance of wearing a barrel with suspenders than not within the coming four or five years and I just don't see Marla being comfortable as being the major bread winner in the family. But those are just the facts and the figures. The emotion side of things come strictly from Marla, but it's pretty widely known that 3 is only enough when it comes to people like me, so dumping Pete was the right thing to do for Marla in the long run, so."

[Hysterical giggling]

"And 2 is the same as 3!"

[More hysterical giggling]

[Wait, what? Then a two handed with two fingers waving like a flight attendant?]

"Marla, doesn't officially live here, but [arm wave pointing] the main bathroom is that way and yours to use and [redirects arm wave pointing] there is space in the laundry room for a clean change of clothes and [wow, a third two fingers point] and the spare bedroom back there has a place for a break or a nap because some days the hours are long, so?"

"(What the hell, Marla)?"

"(Oh, it's not quite over yet, Jamie)."

"And Jamie, I know that you are 18 and 3 months and that you had a combination graduation party and birthday party with a yellow cake, a white cake and rocky road ice cream and that no matter what your boyfriend, Chad, tells you, his true aspirations are to be a professional alligator wrestler, which is a fine side show profession, but our gators around here are not all that impressive, so you can probably expect a relocation proposal to come before a marriage proposal comes because he'll need to find work at a side show closer to the coast and Tim Robertson would be a much better choice for you given his stable employment and his investment strategies and I think Tim is considered as handsome, so."

"(SOB, you're keeping him like forever, right boss)?"

[Flashes signed life ownership contract, which was actually the grocery store receipt]

"And Jamie, your BFF, Andi, her step brother, Larry, has been texting with me, just FYI."

"Hmm, that mixer then?"

"I mean, we bumped into each other while we were putting out the empty pizza boxes, but I will admit to you that I texted him first and he only responded in the beginning, so. Also, most of your BFF Andi's bras are padded, so."

"SOB, where is the dotted line for me to sign on, Marla? I'm all in!"

"(Oh, Jamie, wait for it and this is NOT of my doing! But I haven't officially pitched a bitch yet, so)"

I mean, as the official work order scheduler, I mean, I should be involved in the hiring process, right?

"And over the Labor Day holiday weekend, which might be slow for Marla, well, there will be photo shoot out in the shop that the producers want to title as "Mechanics who wear bikinis", but as the new employee, Jamie, you are not required to participate, support or even attend. However, even I think that the sight of a beautiful young woman working the spinning buffing wheel is a value add to life, so?"

[Scribbles signature like a mad woman on the dotted line!]

Also, just for a slightly story forward sound bite, I too have plans for that photo shoot, but not as a participant. Details to follow. Well, shoot, I guess some of the scheduling details are coming next, but not the whole story!

I mean, I still had work orders to verify or drum up on the Strip and since my flashy ass shiny sequined jumpsuit wasn't at all appropriate for the Strip, blue Denim bib shorts worked too for me too! And I shouldn't have to remind you that I earned my very own parking lot on the Strip nor that I had a perch bench thingy in the back of my truck.

[Clunk, tailgate lowers, step]

"I got your text, so what's up? Also, are you running a fruit market with those bib shorts and performing Marla's detailing scheduling too, Vic E, hmm?"

[LOL, points to a cubed fruit tray on the bench]

"Hmm, yummy. So, let's get with it then, Vic E. I'm still on the clock inside of the Lava Java Coffee Shop and the boss keeps his eye on me when I step outside to mingle with you. He also keeps his eye on you too, but that's another story, so, please explain the meaning of that text that you sent me, okay? Oh, and here [digs into apron pocket], I picked you up your favorite sucky ring candy things when I borrowed your truck when you weren't looking because you were too busy trying to smear your lip gloss around with Marty from the Shovel & Rake storefront crew, so."

Hmm, I love my flavorful sucky ring candies, folks! Especially the red ones! And it's only a rumor that I curl my tongue and do things with the holes in the sucky ring candy pieces, so.

"Hmm, there you go, Vic E, suck on your little sucky ring candy and explain that text to me and I've even grown to expect that little whistling noise that you make from your sucky, sucks while you curl your tongue, Vic E, so, go ahead, suck on your sucky ring candy and start explaining things to me then."

I mean, it's rude to speak with a sucky in your mouth, so I talked via text, even though we were within an arm reach of each other on my little truck bed bench.

[Weep]

"Huh, what, wait, is this even a thing, Vic E?"

And then I guess the time comes when you have to swallow the sucky and get on with it. I mean, I didn't really want others who were just on the Strip's sidewalk to over hear my, um, proposal for Tatjana, but she basically yelled out about is this a real thing or not, I mean, people were glancing our way anyways.

And by the way, ladies, some of you ladies, I mean, I got your chin and I'm not giving it back! And I didn't even need to pay mother nature extra for my soft and fem chin, but maybe she left the rest up to me, so.

"Oh, it's not only been a real thing over the past two years, Tatjana, all of the entertainment TV shows have been following it to the point of it's become a challenge! And since those two BFFs in California went about it together on the same day with the same plastic surgeon, it's totally exploded and since the Middle Plastic Surgery center just leveled up their game with the latest equipment, I mean, using a photo of a favorite celeb for the replication procedure are days gone by now, so?"

"Oh, so, oh, so, you get a computer 3D modeling of my perfectly perky and upturned nose and I get my face melted off by a mad scientist and his death ray laser beams then, hmm? And where is the brochure that shows that the mad scientist plastic surgeon is hot with perfect facial stubble, hmm?"

"Tatjana, nobody's face is going to get melted off and I promise you, your end of the procedure will be over in mere minutes once they 3D laser map your perfectly perky and upturned nose, which is what my chin needs to complete my face. And oh, by the way, your face won't be melted away, so?"

I mean, it is a real thing people and other people have been doing it to copy their favorite celebs and stuff, only from photographic and 3D AI images, but I had a live model and she had the nose that not only did I want, it was what I needed to highlight my already fem chin and complete my face! I mean, I am committed to my Vic E persona and all, folks, so.

And LOL, it will be the first time ever, LOL, that I will actually be on my back for a guy, LOL.

"Well, I'll think about it, Vic E, but only because how I like how committed you are towards your fem improvements, but you know, this seems like something that I should receive something back for and I don't mean a plague for the wall, so?"

Well, with people around, I went back to communicating via text and the results will become known to you readers later. All you need to know for right now is that I have a chin that I shouldn't and I'm going to match that with a nose I don't have, so I texted my plague upgrade offer to her.

[Weep]

"Wait, what, wait, are you pranking me, Vic E? And no going back if you're not pranking me, so?"

Yeah, that offer will come later, but it had two parts to it and one part was that as the first procedure being performed in the Middleton Plastic Surgery center, and yep, the procedure would be filmed as the first to be performed in Middleton, so.

And it will all be worth it. I mean, I have the waistline and I have the chin and the eyes are just makeup, so moving forward and just in time, hopefully, for the Labor Day holiday weekend, I will have an even more improved appearance.

"Alright, Vic E, we have a deal, but first admit to me that sometimes you purposely bumped into me when I hand you one of the coffees that you take for your men and I'll be on time. And you don't have to admit that you're coming in under 2. I actually like that part. I mean, not for sex, of course, but the tickling is nice, so???"

Well, never mind that part of the conversation, right? What's important is that we had a deal and that Marty was going to get a coffee "to go" that night because I had gotten pretty worked up with talking to Tatjana and from the whistles that my bib shorts had gotten and Marty was going to get extra time with me because SOB, Tatjana always has to borrow my truck to run up to the "Stop & Rob" convenience store and whew, my transition of transitions was in process!

But Marty just got a hand job, which was fun, but I was still on the work order job and one other thing that bib shorts are good for is leaning into a car window to follow up with an upcoming motorcycle detailing work order. Plus, LOL, I like looking like a street worker sometimes, so. Or LOL, see bib shorts below for short. LOL, literally short.

But I don't poke out of them because maybe I do come in under 2, so.

Which really means that I can lean over and forward more into a car window, even if it's cop car window.

"Officer Ryan, there seems to have been a change in the departments detailing work for the Conner Street rally. Are there going to be four escort police bikes now, hmm?"

"Oh, I pulled over to remind you to double check the detailing update, Vic E, but, I mean, keep scrolling, okay? I mean, it's now four escort police bikes, but, there, um, there was another update, so???"

"No, no, I have your trophy wife here and a dishwater blonde landing strip will perfect for her, LOL and for you too, Officer Ryan, so two Thursday's from now, right?"

Well, I said it the first chapter. Marla details the motorized machines and I take care of the real sex machines, so.

[Snap, snap, photo snap]

"Oh, Butch, I mean, has Larry dumped me before we ever even went out? And if he's ghosting me, just say that then. I thought we connected at Kim's party for a minute, so?"

"Well, I'm staying out of that, Vic E, but if he is ghosting you lately, I mean, whew, he likes some things, but then he has time to think about things and I think it's a vicious circle in his head, so?"

Yeah, that sort of thing is right there on page one of the CD playbook and that's just the way it goes sometimes. And the recommended solution of letting them jump your bones during the "wide eye" and "aha, aha, aha" moments just doesn't work for me, so.

"Anyways, Vic E, since your face was buried deep inside of the cop car's window, do you mind if I tag my next meme as "sissy boy street worker issues" or something, hmm?"

"Well, just change the "sissy boy" for "fem boy" and go for it, Butch. I mean, my butt was pushed out enough, right?"

"I mean, I think I caught a couple of guys who took off to the alley just after you bent over, so."

Well, everyone like short bib shorts, right?

And then, fast forward about nine days and my new and improved nose job was coming! Ugh, with the simple procedure captured on film!

"Hi, Gale Storms from TV3 News coming to you live from the Middleton Plastic Surgery center where we are witnessing a forward advancement in the field of plastic surgery using computer aided assistance! We're following the unique procedure today of one of Middleton's smallest fem boys who wants to improve his appearance and hopefully become someone's dream boy-girlfriend someday soon. But since Vic E is out under the gas and laying on his back and surrounded by a team of surgeons, a Nurse and what appears to be someone from Accounts Payable, let's begin by having a few words with the brave woman who risked having her face melted off to assist that cute little sissy boy dweeb with his step forward into the world of Trans transitioning. Tatjana, Tatjana, tell my viewers why you're making this sacrifice for your friend who is already cute enough as a fem boy to attract a crowd of men on the Strip, tell it, Tatjana. (Zoom in, cameraman, Harold.)"

"Oh, it's worth it for his confidence boost, Gale Storms of TV3 News, I mean, wow, right? He already has the men lining up for a little lip gloss smearing action and I can't wait to see what happens when he pulls his bandages off and adds this nose [points to herself] to his appeal. I mean, come on, right? Talk about "hide your boyfriend and hide your fag hubby's" moments, right Gale Storms from TV3 News?"

"(Zoom tighter, Harold!) Tatjana, Tatjana, tell my viewers who you are wearing for the dangerous and possible face melting laser beam mapping procedure then, tell it, Tatjana."

"Oh, my leotard is from "Two Sizes Under" and my gown is from "Hospital" and tee, he, I hope your cameraman isn't naughty, Gale Storms from TV3 News, I mean, my leotard is that of a thong in the back and I did wear heels today for this very dangerous face mapping procedure and all, so."

"(Harold, pan the camera, circle around, Harold!) Tatjana, Tatjana, tell my viewers how you plan to help your little funny boy recover then, tell it, Tatjana."

"Oh, Gale Storms from TV3 News, I have a few things worked out, but he also has a wonderful renter who will chip in as well, I mean, you will be covering Marla's "Mechanics who wear bikinis" photo shoot, right Gale Storms from TV3 News? But other than that, I have helped to make sure that he will plenty of his favorite flavored sucky ring candies to suck on while he recovers on the couch in just his jammies and his nose bandages. I mean, he loves his sucky ring candies and LOL, he is always curling his tongue and trying to push it into the flavorful sucky ring candies holes, you know, something like this, Gale Storms from TV3 News."

[Pucker purses lips, curls tongue and OMG, starts thrusting in and out and in and out on live TV!]

"Aha, aha, aha (Pan, Harold, pan!). Tatjana, Tatjana, tell my viewers how the local Trans community has rallied around you, I mean, around that cute little queer laying on his back in the surgery room, tell it, Tatjana."

"Tee, he, the support has been very positive, Gale Storms from TV3 News. It has come to my attention since I personally convinced Vic E to undergo this facial improvement procedure that basically all Trans people just want to live life their way and they always stride for appearance improvements, so the out pouring has been incredible. It also seems that many of them still like to swing the bat both ways, LOL, at least with me anyways since I started a live Chang page for this transition of transitions, so?"

[Pucker purses lips, curls tongue and OMG, starts thrusting in and out and in and out on live TV again!]

"Aha, aha, aha (pan back around the back, Harold, she clenches when she does that, aha, aha, aha.) Tatjana, Tatjana, tell my viewers, what's next for you then?"

"Oh, it's all about Vic E and his improved confidence going forward. Well, I mean, it's a little bit about some Angela Jaye Tranny who wants to know what type of sucky ring candies Vic E is a fan of, but that will be private between Angela Jaye and myself when Vic E is passed out, but we've already made a dare bet about how many sucks it takes to open up the sucky ring candy's hole large enough to slip it onto Angela Jaye's (bleep) as sort of a novelty (bleep) ring, tee, he. And as a shout out to the community, I mean, whew, that Angela Jaye, right? I mean, for a fem boy CD who loves (bleep) and who loves sucking (bleep), I mean, whew, some fem boys still bring the (bleep) to the party in terms of (bleep) pix! Oh, but this is all about Vic E, so."

"(Harold, pan, her gown came untied.) So, Tatjana, Tatjana, how did you help your little bitch boy prepare for this surgery then? The word on the Strip is that this will be the very time that he has been on his back for a man, so, tell it to my viewers, Tatjana."

"Oh, Gale Storms from TV3 News, who still has a very impressive bustline, first I checked that the hot plastic surgeon had pants on under his surgery robe and then about fifteen minutes later, I had Nurse Ken Da Doll lift poor little Vic E so we could protect him with a (bleep) plug because somehow Vic E's gown was put on backwards, so he's all set then and hey, TV land, hey."

"(Harold, her nipples are popping, pan.) Tatjana, Tatjana, before we pan away from you as you walk slowly away from the camera in your loose gown, Tatjana, tell my viewers what Vic E the fem boy is wearing for this procedure, tell it, Tatjana."

"Oh, Gale Storms from TV3 News, since Vic E is such a fan of red sucky, suck ring candies, I mean, we fitted him into black satin bikini style undies that are accented with bright red circles because as I have said, Vic E likes his red sucky ring candies, so."

"Tatjana, Tatjana, which is smoother? His fem little body or his sucky suck ring candies after sucking on his sucky, suck candies for a minute or two, tell my viewers, Tatjana."

"Oh, wow, Gale Storms from TV3 News, that's a close call, but I can't answer that today since I only sucked a sucky, suck ring candy out of his mouth once in a moment of passion and I only helped into his new satin black undies the one time this morning, but Vic E is pretty smooth, so."

"Tatjana, Tatjana, thank you for taking time to be interviewed today. Do you have any last words for my viewers then, Tatjana?"

"Oh, I just wanted to say that everyone should keep their thoughts with our popular Strip fem boy as he braves through this procedure and that, OMG, the men are going to love the end results and finally, I look forward to being present when you and your crew photo shoot Marla for your upcoming special, Motor Mechanics who work in dental floss, so, ta, ta everyone and be sure to stop into the Lava Java Coffee Shop and say hey to me, tee, he and take a selfie with the new and improved Vic E soon!"

"There you have it viewers, a hot as (bleep) loyal friend in heels and an undersized leotard, sacrificing her own safety for her friend who wants even more kisses on the Strip. Be sure to catch my updates tonight at 6, 7 and 11pm and until then, this is Gale Storms of TV3 News. (Walk away, Tatjana, Harold, zoom!)"

Well, here's what happened. First, OMG, Marla got so pissed, but became even more busy, like overnight, so she didn't have time to scold me much. And you know, I was out under the gas and Tatjana was doing all of the talking during the live interview, but I got scolded, right?