Victor or Vanquished of The Vees

"Yes," I said. A beer was exactly what I needed.

"Well, you should go get yourself one," he said, smiling, "and get me one while you're at it."

"Me too," Ed said who had walked up behind Martin.

I looked at them like they were nuts.

"You're our naked serving wench tonight, sweetheart," Martin said. "Them's the rules. I didn't write 'em." He pointed through the crowd toward the stairway that led to the back door off the kitchen and added, "our tins are on the bottom shelf of the fridge. Grab yourself one of ours if you like. You can consider it a tip."

"Oh, fuck," I said, remembering that it wasn't enough that I had to be naked, this was also part of my penance for being Completely Vanquished.

Martin smiled at me. "That's a good girl," he said and then gave me a little pat on my bare bum, "off you go."

Being touched like that sent a shock through me. I jumped forward and squeaked. I immediately looked up and looked around to see if anyone saw that. Of course they did. Martin's pat and my reaction to it had just been recorded by several cellphones and all the men looking at me were grinning.

I knew that I should have told Martin to go to hell, but what was the point? I had stupidly signed up for this and knew the risks. Laura had said to expect some of the men to be "handsy". I had only myself to blame that I was their 'naked serving wench' for the duration of this party.

I let it go with giving him a sour look and started walking gingerly toward the house to get the beers. Every once in a while, I'd step on a sharp rock and wince.

"Gotta love that view," Martin loudly pronounced, making sure that I would hear.

Some people made an effort to press aside to make way for the naked girl and some people didn't. Laura had warned me that the occasional pinch of my bum would be considered fair payback for how the women were with the naked men that had been Completely Vanquished in previous years. Still, every time I felt a hand pat or pinch my bum, I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was somehow worse than when Martin had patted my bum a few moments earlier. He'd primed my anticipation of being groped, so now I was expecting it. It was so crowded, especially going up the back stairs, that I think I was expecting it to be a gauntlet of constant groping, but on that first beer run to the kitchen and back, only about a half dozen guys were crass enough to touch me. There were just too many people for me to identify who they were. It was all on my bum except for one guy who snuck a hand onto my left boob, when I was reacting to another guy's hand pinching my bum. Considering how crowded it was, and how much opportunity there was, most of the guys there were pretty respectful and kept their hands to themselves. I think my yelps and avoidance contortions were enough to let people know that I was really uncomfortable with the touching. Maybe the ones more inclined to grope me were talked out of it by their more respectful buddies.

Those few anonymous hands on my bare flesh were enough to keep my heart pounding and my inner exhibitionist thoroughly juiced.

The kitchen was right by the back door, so I just had to go to the fridge and grab beers from the bottom shelf. Other than when making beer runs, I stayed close to the core group of V-TRACS members that I'd been riding with for the one month that I'd been part of the club.

"What about the two 'Extra Tasks'?" Martin asked the other guys after I'd arrived with more beers. "How should we punish this here naked Vanquished girlie for losing more sections than anyone else in the history of the club?"

Simon seemed to think I'd suffered enough, but Martin insisted that rules were rules.

They discussed a few ideas that all sounded horrible to me. I didn't say anything. They rejected one after another for being inappropriate. I was pretty sure that I crossed that particular line ages ago, but I wasn't about to argue.

Martin floated the idea of selling over-the-knee spankings as a fundraiser for the club. I don't think that he was actually serious. Simon pointed out that it was supposed to be a task, not a punishment. I hadn't actually done anything wrong.

"Selfies, then," Martin said. We all looked at him so he elaborated. "We sell selfies with Lucy for $25 apiece. It's an extra task AND it's a fundraiser for the club."

"There aren't enough pictures and videos of me naked already?" I asked. Looking around, there were a good dozen people holding phones up taking photos or video of me right at that moment.

"Think about it this way," Martin explained, "you give them something that's explicitly their own and, A, maybe they won't need to obsessively collect every other naked picture and video of you and, B, they'll have to be careful to keep their selfie private because they'll be in for a whole lot of hurt if it ends up online."

What he said actually made a bit of sense.

"Fuck it," I said. "Whatever. It's not like some selfies could make this experience any worse."

Simon announced it over the PA. He let everyone know that selfie-takers could decide if I would wear my bike helmet or not, but that was the only clothing I would be allowed. They could also decide if I would wear the Vanquished sash or hold it up how ever they liked in the picture.

Basically, he told everyone that 25 bucks would get them a full-frontal nude photo of me standing next to them.

Realizing that I'd probably spoken too soon about selfies not making the experience worse, I reluctantly stepped up next to Simon, and a lineup of guys started to form right away.

Martin stepped in between Simon and me and took the mic. "Why don't I go first to show how it will work?" he said as he handed his phone to Ed. Sometimes it seemed like Simon was on my side, but Martin was clearly out to have as much fun at my expense as possible. My heart sank a little when Simon stepped aside and let Martin take charge. "Before I do, I think we should put a little guarantee in place. If Lucy isn't smiling or has her eyes closed, the selfie doesn't count and you get to take another shot. You paid your 25 bucks, right?"

The guys getting in line seemed to think that was a good idea. Martin continued, "Lucy, you can go ahead and hold that Vanquished sash up nice and high above your head, please." Martin was quickly climbing to the top of my list of least-liked people in my new home town. Holding the sash up required putting both my arms up. I immediately disliked the feeling of being put on display like that and having so many people so close to me (especially Martin) without having my hands between those people and my naked body. I don't know if it was that, or the fact that I had simply obeyed Martin when he told me to do something over the PA in front of everyone, but whatever it was, I felt desperately embarrassed, shamed and vulnerable all over again.

Martin had more to say. "Many of you will remember that I was Completely Vanquished five years ago. The thing I remember most from that event, other than being completely naked like Lucy here, was being relentlessly groped by the women in attendance. There are some very embarrassing photos out there of me reacting to all that attention." He received a few teasing heckles. "It seems to me that our latest Completely Vanquished rider has not had to suffer anywhere near the same degree of indignity, despite having lost eight sections of the ride, when I only lost five."

It slowly dawned on me what Martin was working up to when he said, "it hardly seems fair." On the word "fair" I felt his hand on my bum and he gave me a squeeze. I yelped and jumped a foot into the air.

Everyone laughed.

"Oh, Lucy wasn't smiling for that picture?" Martin joked to Ed, who was standing in front of us was holding up his phone. "Better take another one then." Then, without letting me compose myself or bothering to get me to hold up the sash again, he grabbed my bum again and gave it firm pinch, causing me to dutifully repeat my jump and yelp. Everyone laughed even harder. I dropped one end of the sash and put my hands behind me to protect my butt. I stepped away from him and gave him a dirty look.

"Sorry Lucy," Martin said. "I was just teasing you. Let's do a proper selfie. No hands behind your back this time, I promise." We posed for a picture. I held up the sash, he didn't pinch my bum and I put on my best intentionally fake-looking smile so that the picture could be taken.

Simon took the mic from Martin and said, "I want to be super clear. What Martin just did, pinching Lucy's bum like that? None of you get to do that. It is NOT included in the $25 fee for a selfie. Martin has stepped up to compete in The Vees year after year and, as he said, he's even been Completely Vanquished himself, so maybe that was tit-for-tat. But for all of you who did not compete today, Lucy is gracious enough to let you take selfies with her, so you don't get to intentionally wreck a selfie by pinching her bum. Does everyone understand?"

I could have kissed him.

"Spoilsport," Martin said. I could have kicked him in the nuts.

I spent well over an hour taking selfies with every guy or group of guys that thought a picture of me standing next to them stark naked was worth 25 dollars. I had a few breaks, but I guess it was no big surprise that there were a lot of takers. It wasn't everyone. Quite a few of the men there were married and at least some of them decided a selfie with a naked girl might not be a great idea.

Eventually, the selfie line ended. It was after 7pm and almost 5 hours had passed since the competition had finished. We'd had pizza. There was still a ton of people filling the house and back yard. I was still completely naked, but not everyone was staring at me all the time anymore. Every once in a while, a few people would leave and a few new people would arrive. It was freshly embarrassing every time a new group came up and wanted selfies.

Since Simon had told people that consent to grab my bare bum was not included in the selfie fee, the number of times I was touched in any way while walking through the crowd diminished to just once or twice each time I went into the house. It was always just a quick grab and always where people were crowded enough that I couldn't identify who had done it. I squeaked and contorted myself in surprise every time.

Simon and I did the "official" interviews for the V-TRACS website. Simon's interview took five minutes whereas mine took half an hour. James, the guy who conducted the interview, was a club volunteer who wrote content for the website and was in journalism at the local college. He exuded an awkward combination of nerdy enthusiasm, excitement at the opportunity to do an interview that people might actually read, and intense embarrassment that he was talking to a completely naked girl.

He asked a bit about the competition and what mountain biking competitions I'd been in before this, but he pretty quickly got down to the questions that he obviously wanted to ask. "What's it like being the only one naked at a big party like this?", "Do you feel embarrassed?", "Have you ever done anything like this before?", "Are you worried about naked pictures of you being posted online?", "Do you regret competing this year?", "Will you compete in Victor or Vanquished of the Vees next year?"

My lack of articulate answers was probably disappointing for him. I was at least able to explain how I'd expected to ride the course every night during the week, but that I hadn't had the chance because of my job, and that I'd only ridden the Five Vees once before the competition.

James was taken aback by that a bit. "Do you think that was unfair?" he asked.

"I could have bailed," I said, "and I thought about it, but I'm new in town and I wanted to show that I'm a person who honors my commitments. I wanted to put my best foot forward." He nodded and I smirked. "Ideally there would have been shoes and socks on that foot, and maybe a shred or two of clothing on the rest of me."

James thanked me for the interview and took a few pictures to include. He assured me that they wouldn't show any of my naughty bits.

It was a beautiful warm evening. For the last 15 minutes or so, it seemed like a respectful bubble had formed around Simon, Ed, Luke, Martin, Neil and me. The party had quietened down a bit, probably because a lot of people were home having dinner. Simon expected it to ramp up again after 8. I was expecting them to send me back in the house for more beers soon.

"So did you learn any lessons today?" Martin asked me.

That was a lousy question for someone to ask a person who they'd just humiliated in a competition. Especially when that humiliation was ongoing and VERY public.

Being the bigger person, I tapped his tin of beer with mine. "Never underestimate a bunch of old dudes on bikes?"

We were sitting in camp chairs out in Simon's back yard. Music was playing. I looked around and, for the first time since I rode into the back yard naked, I couldn't see anyone obviously taking pictures or video of me on their cellphones. I was still completely naked, but in the chair you could really only see my boobs. I wasn't bothering to cover them at all, but although my boobs were definitely perkier than average and my nipples were still poking out noticeably, my posture in the chair wasn't optimal to put them on display.

"Old dudes indeed," Ed said. "You've been riding for what, five years? Martin, Luke, Neil and I have been riding trails like the Five Vees since before you were born." He gave me a friendly but patronizing look. "You're just a baby!"

"I like that," Martin announced. "How appropriate that the mountain biking baby girl of V-TRACS got schooled by us the first time she had a chance to compete. And now she's as naked as the day she was born!" Martin chortled at his own joke. I didn't bother pointing out that I hadn't been wearing a sash that said 'Vanquished' on it when I was born. "Hey baby girl, stand up and give us a spin. We haven't had a good look at that cute bare butt of yours in a while."

I rolled my eyes. There were no rules that said I had to follow all their orders. I thought about how embarrassed I'd been when I'd had to take off first my bra and then my panties during the ride. Back then I'd only had to get naked in front of the few people on the trail, but I'd now been stark naked in Simon's back yard, packed with never less than 100 people for several hours. My inner exhibitionist had been trying to bust out the whole time and, as soon as Martin told me to stand up and spin, it became a bell inside my head, clamoring for me do it, and get my naked self back at the center of everyone's attention.

"You don't have to do that Lucy," Simon said.

"It's not like I have anything to hide at this point." I stood up and shrugged. "Or anything better to do. Or that I have any self-respect to protect."

I was facing toward the crowd of people in the back yard and as soon as I stood, I saw a several people turn to look at me. They started to hold up their phones. I immediately felt a rush of exhibitionist adrenaline.

I felt myself flush and I got tingly as I raised my hands above my head and slowly turned around to face my co-competitors. They were slouching in their chairs watching me and sipping their beers. It was both horrifying and delicious to once again have all their eyes on me as well as know that there was a big crowd behind me watching closely too. I continued slowly turning until I was facing the crowd again. For what it's worth, the horrified part of me did a fine job of putting a pained, reluctant expression on my face.

Martin reached out, grabbed my bum and gave it a squeeze. I yelped, jumping forward and out of reach.

"Dude!" Simon said.

I turned to face them and covered my boobs and kitty with my hands. We all just looked at one another for a few seconds. As an attempt to be chivalrous, Simon's admonition was pretty lame, but I still appreciated it. At 30, Simon was closer to my age than any of the others who I'd competed with that day.

"Unless she likes it," Martin said. It was a pretty noisy party, and the space between us and the rest of the crowd was enough that our conversation continued to seem relatively private.

"Screw you, Martin," I said.

"Dude! You're embarrassing the poor girl," Simon said.

"Don't fall for it," Martin countered. "The embarrassment is an act. Earlier today, she performed a lewd sex act with a tree, right in front of us. Don't tell me she's not enjoying being naked."

He couldn't have made it more obvious how stupid it was to hide my girl bits behind my hands. A video of me that people were already calling, "the girl that had sex with a tree", had been shown over and over on the TV in the house, so everyone at the party had seen it.

"That's completely unfair Dude!" Luke chimed in giving Martin a serious look. Then he cracked a mischievous grin, "her connection with her bike seat looked way more intimate than her groping of that innocent tree. If anything, that lewd sex act was a three-way."

I repositioned my hands to cover my face.

"Oh, come now baby girl," Martin said.

"For crying out loud, stop calling me that!" I said. "Seriously, ewww! If you say, 'who's your daddy', I'm going to barf." Ed, Luke and Simon all laughed. I'm pretty sure they were laughing at Martin. "It's so creepy."

Martin smiled at me. "Okay Lucy. Just stand there for a minute. Just as you are." Then to Simon he said, "check it out," and he gestured at my crotch.

I reflexively covered up.

"Hey, no, don't cover up," Martin said to me. He was now actually holding his cellphone to get a closeup picture or video.

I reluctantly pulled my hands away. Again, I had no obligation to do what Martin said. The truth is that he was right. There was a part of me that was thoroughly enjoying being naked. Feelings of exposure and embarrassment only made me more turned on. Standing naked on display in front of a group of fully clothed men who were all relaxed and drinking beer made me feel like a slut. Having them all casually staring directly at my kitty made me feel like a really dirty slut. The humiliation, the dirtiness, and the horniness all combined in a cocktail that was somehow irresistibly sexy. What the fuck was wrong with me? I still wanted to run and hide, but I also really wanted Simon to reach out and touch my kitty.

The rational part of me that wanted to be wearing clothes was desperately trying to stay in control.

Simon dutifully stared right at my kitty and I squirmed.

Nobody said anything for a few seconds, while I desperately tried to keep my knees from wobbling visibly.

"There!" Martin said. "You saw that. She's literally dripping."

"Holy fuck!" Simon said. Apparently, a blob of my self-lubrication had just dripped out of my kitty onto the ground and they'd all witnessed it.

"I'm not!" I said reeling from yet another unforeseen humiliation. "I didn't!" My hands once again instinctively flew into position to cover the shameful behavior of my kitty.

"You knew that was going to happen?" Ed asked incredulously.

"I'm just observant," Martin replied. "Just look at her chair." I joined the men, craning our necks to look at the seat of the camping chair I'd been sitting in. In dismay, I saw the obvious wet spot. Martin continued, "I was the one who took her bike from her and, when I put my hand on her seat..." he looked at me, "talk about 'ewww'."

Simon looked at me with a new expression on his face. Up until that moment, he'd always looked at me with empathy, like I really didn't deserve all this. Now he just looked like I was someone he'd never met, who'd done something baffling.

"So you're an exhibitionist?" he asked me. "You're really enjoying all this?"

Still covering myself with my hands, my feelings of vulnerability surged. "Um, I guess so," I said tentatively, "but it's not like I'd figured that out before today."