Victoria's Second Secret


'It's a winter wonderland out there,' she said, 'no way will we make it back to the Buzzer. It looks like we'll be dining in my kitchen.'

'Cheese and crackers,' I responded with a grin.

She grinned back at me. 'What do you fancy; Cheshire or Lancashire?'

Chapter Six

Almost incredibly the cheese was within the sell-by date. The crackers came out of a brand-new packet and the butter . . .

Well, I didn't check that but it tasted all right. So did the icy cold pinot we used to wash down our snack.

It was cosy in Hev's kitchen, by the way. Her heating system was so state-of-the-art that we didn't need clothes. But Hev had donned an unbelievably old rugby shirt before setting off to "fix us our snack" so somewhat short of choice, I had donned my white sweatshirt and called it good.

Okay, so my pussy was totally exposed but it wasn't as if Hev hadn't seen it before, was it? Hell, she knew it inside out and upside down. She probably knew it better than I did.

That rugby shirt! It had obviously once been red and large, maybe fifty years ago. Now it was pink with white patches, totally shapeless and had sleeves that nearly touched the floor.

Even so Hev looked superb in it.

There again, she'd look superb in a manky old bin-liner.

'Dare I ask,' I ventured, nibbling cheese and sniffing appreciatively at my vino, indicating her shirt.

'What did you say to me? I "don't want to know".'

'You don't want to know about our last bust-up,' I agreed. 'But when it comes to that rather unique fashion accessory, I do want to know.'

'It's a memento of a big rugby match,' Hev said after a pause. 'I was drunk, temporarily into guys and I got carried away.'

'Do you mean by a big prop-forward?'

'Yeah; after I'd rewarded him for scoring the winning try he carried me to the changing rooms and threw me into the bath. And that is all you're getting. Apart from the fact I've never seen anywhere near so many hard willies in the same place.'

'There went your gold star,' I said, chuckling, picturing the scene.

'I'd lost it long before then.' Hev poured us more wine, even though I didn't need a top-up. 'Come on, let's go in the lounge and watch some videos.'

Oddly enough, I'd hardly ever been in Hev's main living room before. My previous visits had been to her bedroom (most of the time), her bathroom (when nature decreed), her shower room (every morning after, and never alone) and her kitchen (usually to sip wine). As far as I could recall we'd fucked in her spare bedroom once, by way of a change.

Oh yes: we'd fucked on her staircase once as well, by way of another change.

As lounges go Hev's was large and expensively furnished. I sat on a white leather settee and Hev used a remote to switch on a massive flat-screen TV. I had expected her to tune in to some porn channel but instead she fiddled with a laptop. Obviously she'd linked it in.

Equally obviously, she could perform basic techie tasks for herself.

No surprise there, then.

'I compiled a sequence for you,' she told me.

And hadn't she just! The first film began with a busty blonde on a massage table. She was being tended to by an older brunette with a stunning and deeply tanned body. Quite rapidly, after liberal application of oil, the massage became intimate. Then a second masseuse arrived on the scene and I realized.

'Is this to put me in the mood for next Wednesday?' I enquired.

Hev was beside me on the settee. She put a hand on my bare thigh and squeezed it playfully.

'It's a sequence of all-girl threesomes,' she said. 'It might give us a few ideas.'

'Us,' I echoed. 'Do you mean you, me and Vic? Have you sent her a copy?'

'I mean everyone should use the information superhighway. Knowledge is power; no?'

The three women on screen were naked by then, the blonde on her back, a masseuse's mouth on each tit. Excitement raced through me as I watched. The two masseuses were working as a team and the blonde was clearly enraptured.

And I'd had doubts about submitting to treatment like that!

'I cheered when you agreed to play,' said Hev. 'I suspect Vic did too. We had our doubts as well as our hopes, you see.'

'I tossed a coin,' I said.

'Tails never fails.'

'Oh but it does. I had to toss the flipping thing four times until it gave me the right answer.'

Hev's left hand had miraculously moved onto my pussy. Not to be outdone, I put my right hand on her pussy and very gently started to rub.

How civilized was that! I had a wine glass in one hand, my girlfriend's sex in the other and there was increasingly hot and horny footage on the big screen.

(Hev is, by the way, ambidextrous. She can bring me off just as efficiently with either hand. There is a slight difference when she uses her left, but that doesn't mean it's any less enjoyable. One of these days I'm going to get her to blindfold me, find out if I can tell which is which.)

That footage consisted of maybe half a dozen separate films. The first was two onto one all the way through. The second, featuring two blondes and a spectacular black woman, was less rigid. Although it was essentially still two onto one, the twos were constantly changing.

'That body,' said Hev, referring to a close-up of the black woman. 'Oh my, here I go!'

I ground my groin against Hev's hand, doing my best to catch up. Yes, it was partly in admiration of that astonishing body on-screen but it was also in honour of a realization.

I wasn't going to be a sacrificial lamb on Wednesday night. Teams could be constantly changing for us as well.

Oh yes, yes please.

Chapter Seven

By Sunday morning the snow had stopped and, by lunchtime, the roads had been ploughed. As far uphill as Hunters Farm they had, anyway. Not one to miss an opportunity, Hev called us yet another taxi.

'We'll have to go the long way round,' she explained, 'but I want to eat in the Buzzer again. I want to try the Mighty Mixed Grill. And don't worry; I'm paying.'

It could be embarrassing going out with Hev. She always tried to pay for everything. The girl was a winner, too. Despite my best efforts she nearly always succeeded.

'I'm buying the beer,' I insisted.

'Huh, you've never downed a pint in your life.'

Was that a red flag to a bull or what? We arrived at the pub around noon, cabbing it the long way round, but then took the same route as the day before: passing through the middle bar, returning one or two nods and smiles, catching the odd lusty leer.

'Two pints of Landlord, please,' said I, flourishing a tenner.

The busty barmaid flashed me a smile and a nice eyeful of tit as she obliged.

'I'm impressed by your sturdy stance,' Hev remarked, heading for the nearest free table. Then, as she looked out of the window: 'I spy company on its way.'

She was right. Two minutes later Dave and Lizzie were at the bar and two minutes after that they were sharing our table.

'We meet again,' said Lizzie, plonking herself down beside me.

'Told you I could usually be found here,' Dave added.

As if I didn't already know!

But hey, was that a smile in my direction? If it was it was only a small one. But it was a start.

Tomorrow, I reminded myself. I'll ring her during her morning break. Tell her . . .

Tell her . . .

Well, I'll think of something.

In all honesty I was flapping. Yes, I'd known all along that there was chance of our paths crossing again. But I'd dismissed that chance as a possibility, not a probability.

Yet there we were, as were Dave and her giggly sidekick. Possibility, probability or what, it felt as if we were destined.

Tomorrow, my brain repeated. I'll ring her tomorrow.

Turned out I didn't need to.


Drinking pint for pint with Hev is not for the fainthearted. If I wasn't so pig-headed I wouldn't have even tried to keep pace. She could make 1970s televised darts players look teetotal. But I had started so I was determined to finish.

My one appearance on Mastermind, eh: I'm Katrina from Yorkshire, specialist subject chasing lost causes.

'You and your pints,' Lizzie cooed as Hev drained her third glass in maybe half an hour.

'Years of practice,' said Hev. 'When I was at uni I drank gallons of Marston's every day. Between you and me, Taylor's Landlord is even better. I can drink Landlord until it trickles out of my ears. Same again please, Kat.'

Well, I had insisted on paying.

'She drinks like a fish with hollow legs,' I observed as I got to my feet.

Lizzie giggled and Dave rolled her eyes.

'You and your mixed metaphors,' she said, sparing me another hint of a smile.

I ferried drinks for four back to our table then decided a trip to the loo was in order. I'd already had an ocean of coffee back at Hunters Farm. Those three pints had gone straight through me.

Before you ask, I didn't need to pull down my knickers in order to pee. Hev and I were panty-free again.

And don't even think about bras . . .

Flushing dutifully, I exited my cubicle only to find Dave barring my way to the hand basins.

Her expression was deadly serious and I suspected the worst.

To my panicking eyes she looked like thunder.

Then suddenly she was in my arms, sobbing and saying "sorry" over and over again.


Crazy but true. Maybe Lizzie the Lezzie's words had been true.

Hev had said much the same, too. And she could read minds.

I wasn't sure what I was expected to do. I hated tears and shows of emotion but this was better by far than a punch on the nose. Ruffling Dave's sexily short hair I told her that I had planned to ring her on Monday, to "clear the air".

'I was going to ring you,' she said. 'Well, I was going to ring WYB and ask for IT.'

'That'd have found me,' I said. 'What were you going to say?'

Dave mumbled and muttered and told me next to nothing.

I enjoyed the feel of my tits on her flat chest and matched her for silence awhile. Then she grew noticeably uncomfortable. Leastways, so I assumed.

She'd stopped sobbing so I let go of her. She didn't back off. Instead she stood her ground.

'Better be off,' I said. 'We'll be being missed.

'We can't leave it like this,' Dave countered.

Her tone was even, maybe emotionless. I did my best to pick up the vibe.

'What's gone is gone,' I said. 'What's done is done. But there's no reason we can't be friends.'

Dave's Velma Dinkley glasses instantly steamed up.

"I can't see without my glasses!" a cartoon voice yelled inside my head.

Ignoring it, taking my life in my hands, I kissed her snub of a nose.

'We can be,' I assured her. 'We can be friends.'

She nodded and waved me on to the basins.

'I need to compose myself,' she said. 'I'll follow you out in a minute.'

I swiftly rinsed and dried. Then, halfway to the door her voice stayed me.

'You and Hev; are you . . . are you . . .'

I turned back to her, remembering Lizzie's words from Saturday. 'We're friends and we shag well together,' I said. 'In all honesty we're very, very good friends. But we have no commitments. It's unlikely we ever will. You can ask her out if you like.'

'How can you think that?' Dave snapped. 'I thought you'd changed.'

The anger in her eyes thrilled me. In a way the anger was what I wanted.

'I'm still the same me,' I said steadily, 'albeit older and wiser.'

'Lizzie said you turned her down.'

I struggled at that. Fortunately Dave was too wound up to notice.

'She offered you it on a plate,' she persisted. 'You left her dangling.'

'I've given up on screwing your girlfriends,' said I. 'Call it a resolution. I'm still free as a bird but I'm not going to be touching any of your special friends ever again. It gets me into too much trouble.'

Dave surprised me by laughing.

'I suppose that's better late than never.'

'What about Lizzie,' I ventured. 'Are you . . .'

'We're much the same as you and Hev. We shag well together. But commitments are right out.'

'Is there anyone else on the scene?'

'One or two, but only casually; there's nobody special. What about you?'

'I'm off for a month on the high seas in August,' I admitted. 'But that's an every-other-year thing.'

'You won't fall in love on the high seas?'

'Been there, done that. It won't happen again.'

'What, you really did fall in love on a boat!'

'No,' I said meaningfully, 'I fell in love long before my first month at sea, back in good old Blighty.'

Cue a repeat steam-up of those so-sexy glasses.

I can't see without them!

As if she needed to see anything . . .

'Listen,' I said, 'we really will be being missed . . .'

Dave cut me off mid-flow. 'Do you weekend with Hev often?'

'No; this is a one-off. Do you weekend often with Lizzie?'

'This is the third time in about a year so it's sporadic rather than just a one-off. Have you anything on for next weekend?'

My heart lurched, performing crazy, impossible gymnastics.

'Not as yet,' I allowed tentatively.

'You don't work overtime?'

'Not if I can help it.'

'I do, but I've got next weekend off as well as this. I've booked a room up in The Lakes. Why don't you come with me?'

I could think of a lot of whys. Dave was a walking and climbing freak. She probably intended to march a hundred miles over mountains and fells. Make that a hundred miles a day, every day.

And that was before she started on all the cliff faces.

Me? I'm not such an active girl but I do walk a lot when I'm travelling. In fact I most likely walk a lot farther in a travelling year than Dave does back home. I just do it in a less extreme way.

'The room is at the Queen's Head in Troutbeck,' she added, 'it's one with a four-poster bed.'

Fuck me. That was where she'd taken bastard Mikela; that was where the scheming bitch had at last come across.

She'd afterwards boasted about it, wanting the world to know.

Yah, boo, sucks. Dave chased me and chased me until I finally caught her!

Dave seemed unaware of my mental ramblings. 'I think it's one of the best rooms in all of The Lakes,' she said enticingly.

And she probably wasn't far wrong.

'What about darling Mikki?' I wondered. 'Won't she be mad if she finds out?'

'She's long gone.'

'Is that for real?'

'It's for real and forever. She let me down worse than you did.'

I tended to doubt that but didn't comment.

'I can easily update my reservation,' said Dave, gripping my hand. 'And there's plenty of room for both of us in that bed. Please come with me.'

I'd been more than tempted for a while by then.

'No strings and no commitments?' I hazarded.

Dave nodded. 'Big girls together,' she assured me.

And enough was enough.

A girl's only human, isn't she?

'Go on then.' I said, 'twist my arm.'

Chapter Eight

I'm going to skip all the knowing looks me and Dave got from Hev and Lizzie when we returned to our table. Instead I'm going to move on to Wednesday. I may be wrong but it seems a while since I last got fucked in this story, and Wednesday is a good place to put that right.

No, Wednesday is a very, very good place to put that right.

So here we go then. And please remember this: I'm prone to exaggeration but the bottom line is I always tell the truth; always, forever and without fail.


The three of us met in the Potting Shed as per usual. Not as per usual we had a single round of drinks, skipped the Shama altogether and took a taxi to Hunters Farm. Long before seven o'clock we were getting naked in Hev's bedroom and my nerves were jangling.

I had never been so uptight in my life. Losing my virginity had been a doddle compared to taking off my clothes in the company of the two most beautiful women in the world.

And they were, incidentally, also the two lustiest, most rapacious women in the world.

Looked at like that, small wonder I was nervous.

Or was it excitement and anticipation? Whatever the cause, my fingers were trembling so much I struggled to unfasten my buttons. Breathing hard but relatively composed, Vic helped me off with my blouse. And, breathing normally, totally composed, Hev helped with the rest of my clothes.

Then we were on the bed. Vic was softly, tenderly kissing my mouth and Hev was nibbling on my nipples. Being subject to two mouths like that . . . Well it was awesome. And things only got better when Vic moved to join Hev, licking my neck and kissing my collarbone before she found a nipple all of her own.

What bliss!

I guess everyone knows how sensitive my tits are by now. Vic and Hev certainly did. They literally lavished attention on them, working as a team, making me cum and cum.

After a lot of fun, fun, fun Vic kissed her way down my body and Hev kissed my mouth, deep and passionately, making my head spin. Then she straddled me.

That's when I revised my definition of fun, fun, fun! Picture it as it was: me with Hev's pussy in my face, her grinding and rotating, me doing my best to tongue her everywhere at once, and Vic busy meanwhile down between my legs.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Vic's A-level in Cunnilingus must have two or three stars if not even four. The girl is so good at it, it's mind-blowing. While I struggled to keep up with Hev's gyrations Vic kissed, nibbled, licked and sucked me to heaven. She simultaneously fingered me as well, using two digits and one of her typically gentle rhythms, finding my G-spot every time.

Bliss, bliss, bliss!!

And then, umpteen additional orgasms later, it was my turn to team up with Vic and Hev's turn to be transported heavenward. We followed much the same pattern, too. So did me and Hev when it was Vic's turn.

Hours passed with roles rotating, the three of us using only fingers, lips, tongues and lots and lots of imagination. We shared equally, too. By midnight each of us had been pleasured just as many times and in just as many different ways. It was truly great. We'd all sat on faces and been sat on. We had all hungrily licked clit and been licked. We had all tribbed and tit-rubbed and been tribbed and tit-rubbed.

You name it and the three of us had done and been done to.

I know it was midnight when things moved up a gear because that's when Hev called a timeout. I kissed and cuddled with Vic while our hostess with the absolute mostest went downstairs for icy dry white, returning with two bottles.

'It's communal,' she said, almost emptying the first bottle into the goldfish bowl that passed for a single glass before taking a mighty swig.

'Share and share alike,' Vic agreed, accepting the glass and taking a more ladylike sip.

'Tonight's your night,' Hev said to me as I took my turn to sip from the communal glass. 'And trust me, the treat is on us.'

Crossing to her toy drawer she picked out two harnesses and two very realistic nine inch dildos.

Well, they would have been realistic if they hadn't been the same shade of green as her eyes.

'One for me,' she grinned, 'and one for Vic.'

Vic passed me back the glass and accepted the harness. 'I'll toss you for it, Heather,' she said as she stepped into her harness and secured the straps, fixing her dildo in place.

'You can go first,' Hev said magnanimously. 'I want to play with Kat's boobs again.'

So that's what they did. Vic back between my legs, on her knees now, gently, tenderly easing her toy in and out of me; Hev kneeling beside me, squeezing my tits for ages before moving in to lick my clit.

Yes, those two knew what they were doing and they really did work as a team: Vic leaning away as she eased in and out, Hev leaning in, her black mane all over me, her tongue flicking wickedly and so, so efficiently.

And this time, without a wet pussy obscuring my view, I was able to watch in the overhead mirror.

What a sight! There were womanly curves, long, shapely legs and bobbing breasts everywhere.

Nice, nice, nice!

Eventually Vic pulled out of me and they swapped roles. That was just as pleasant, even though Hev was a deal more vigorous.

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