All Comments on 'Violet and the Warrens Ch. 01'

A great story. I have been a Literotica fan for many years. This story just climbed to the top of my most favorite. Nice job!

Oh I certainly hope not maybe. This said chaper 1, and you're off to a great start. Hopefully there are many more adventures of Violet. Clearly, she has ate pussy and sucked cock before, and it sounds like taken a strapon also. I hope we can get a good back story and then roll right on with her continuing exploits. 5*

Fantastic...... what a read what a great loving story, full of great characters and such well described sex, I'm looking forward to much more from this author soon.

I am stingy with fives, but you got one. If that was your first story, I can't wait to read your stuff when you're accomplished. Grins , , , I used to write all sorts of erotica, when my wife found out she proposed story lines. They were always the wildest, dirtiest, nastiest, kinkiest. Loved writing them with her.

And even better for a first time writer!

Can't wait to read chapter 2, looks very promising.

You've become a writer ! Thank You . . .

Hi all,

Your feedback is encouraging and makes me want to continue after this virgin run at writing (I'm the Violet here). I don't like sloppiness, so I'm already self-conscious and will be resubmitting a cleaner version.

I'm already scrubbing a few mistakes I've caught:

Allie becomes Annie in a sentence

He didn't "already have sex with her doggie style" he was facing her on the couch previously--I'll just remove that.

When he's behind Violet in the threesome, the position she was in means that he should have pushed "up" for the interior ass push, and "down" for the G-Spot.

There's a paragraph that ends with an ambiguous sentence.

There's a Violet that should be a Maeve (or vice-versa) in the threesome scene

She brushes the glitter off her forehead, not "forward."

There are a couple of To's for Too (damn, that's bad!)

Finally, I can scrub the punctuation a bit in the quotes.

Thanks for working through those oversights. (Let me know if there's anything else).

The next chapter will be backstory from Violet. It might not have as much sex in it, but we'll be sure to get some in there.

Cheers, Grgur

Zach and Violet have an amazing bond!

It was a joy read them fuck

Please make a sequel!

Don’t be too hard on yourself, we all have the occasional TO, TOO, TWO or they’re, their, there screw up. Even “perfext” stories, you’ll come back a year later and kick yourself with an “I wrote that???” A very nice first story, a bit different, and so easily expanded into more.

5 stars

fun plot

What a great read that was, nice plot well paced with great characters and descriptions of both people and sex.