All Comments on 'Vision Ch. 02'

Sweet baby Jesus! Lou needs to stop being so stubborn and Dax needs to step up his game! lol. Can't wait for the next chapter!!!

sex and shenanigans are on the way in forthcoming chapters - Feedback is always appreciated

I see Dax finally saying 'enough little girl' and takes a handful of hair and kisses her. Yup looks like she needs a strong man, a Dom, to tame her.....just sayin'. Can't wait to see where it goes.

But somewhat messy, lacks continuity I guess. The sudden changes in POV don't help.

Wow, you write so well! The changes in POV really keep me on my toes as a reader. And while attraction and the prospect of sex is universal, it is still a great relief for you to set it in a cultural and political context that makes me feel at home. Thank you!

She IS a tough nut to crack, but I appreciate you using Matt to spill some about her, and to get Matt to dish a bit on Dax--he needs a little help--because Lou isn't making it easy! Some of it is a bit too much of a game on her part, especially after what they shared in London (and she had no idea then). She should relax with him. 5

I like the story, but the way it's written makes it hard to follow. I've had to re-read some parts when the POV changes characters, because it wasnt clear.