Voices in the Darkness

I didn't agree with her assessment that killing Nancy was the only way, but I didn't feel I could raise my concern at that moment. Instead, I continued to comfort my grief stricken companion and I told her: "Darling, I know you did it for us."

We sat together for at least ten minutes during Liz's emotional breakdown. It was good for her to let those emotions out and to have a good long cry. When I felt she was regaining her composure I asked: "Have you eaten today darling? Are you hungry or thirsty?"

"All I had was a soda today. I couldn't eat because I was so nervous about what was happening. I think I would have been sick to my stomach if I had tried to eat."

"Do you want me to fix you something now? I think we have a can of chicken and wild rice soup in the cupboard. That might make you feel better darling."

"Yes, that sounds wonderful Chris. Your so good to me; what would I do without you lover."

I gave her a quick kiss on her lips and headed into the kitchen. I don't know why but I was surprised by Liz's reaction to Nancy's death. Maybe that weird hallucination made me think she would come home and tell me in a cold hearted manner how they had killed her. I must have been crazy to think that of my darling Liz.

It only took a few minutes to warm up the soup and bring it out to her. It had some very nice chunks of white chicken meat and lots of veggies and rice. The aroma from the soup was really nice and I served it on a wooden tray that Liz had always liked. As I set the tray before her I asked: "Would you like something to drink darling?"

Liz looked up and said: "This is perfect just the way it is Chris. Thank you so much."

"Your very welcome darling"

"Did Jill come over and stay with you?"

"Yes she came over this morning and we had breakfast together. I told her that you had asked me to marry you and that I accepted."

"What did she say when you told her that?"

"She was so happy for us. She said she already knew how much you loved me and that we would make a very happy couple."

"Jill is really a sweet girl. I'm glad that she doesn't know what Michelle and I did today. I think it would devastate her."

"I'm glad about that too Liz."

"Chris, did she ask any questions about why I was gone so long?"

"I told her that you and Michelle had to get the money and that it was going to take some time. She did say that she thought it was a bad idea to give Nancy the money because it would make her drug problem worse."

"Good, then she doesn't suspect what really happened. Did she stay very long?"

"She left around three o'clock darling."

"What did you guys do to pass the time?"

I didn't think the time was right to tell Liz about what Jill and I had done back in the bedroom and I didn't think I should tell her about the horrible hallucination either. So I changed the subject: "Liz, please tell me what happened today. I think I need to know the details about it."

Liz seemed reluctant to discuss what had happened. She had been home for about thirty minutes and had only said that Nancy was dead. Her eyes started to fill with fresh tears and her voice cracked as she said: "I'm not sure I can tell you lover. It was awful; are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes Liz, I need to know darling. Remember, I'm part of this too and we are going to get through this together. Now please tell me what happened."

"Okay, I will tell you everything. I drove over to Michelle's place at 7:00 AM and we planned out what needed to be done. I had the money with me and we wiped all the finger prints off of every bill. Michelle had some surgical gloves and we wore them as we cleaned the money and placed it into a plain white business envelope. Then at around nine o'clock we drove over to where Nancy was staying. She had been living in her mom's house located in Garden Grove. All we had to do was honk twice and Nancy came out to the car. I was very careful to hold the envelope by the edges so it wouldn't leave any prints on it. We didn't want Nancy to see us wearing the gloves or she might have become nervous."

I interrupted Liz and asked: "Was Nancy acting normally when you saw her?"

"She was really strung out Chris. She called us bitches because we arrived around five minutes later than when Michelle told her we would be there. When we saw her we both knew she would head straight over to her dealer to get a new bag of dope. So as soon as we drove away from her mom's house we headed for Hawthorne where the dealer lived. Michelle had spent part of the previous night with that creep and she let him fuck her several times. She also gave him a thousand bucks. She said that he didn't give a shit about Nancy, but he wanted to be paid some more money next week if he agreed to participate in Michelle's plan. So she arranged to give him another grand next week and that he could have sex with her again at that time. It was only then, that this scum bag of a man agreed to sell Nancy the uncut cocaine."

"Why did you go there if Michelle had already paid him and had it all set up?"

"We had to make sure she actually showed up and then overdosed. We couldn't leave that to chance. So we parked across the street in a warehouse parking lot. Hawthorne isn't a very nice place to live. We were sure she couldn't see our car from the street unless she looked very carefully. Nancy showed up about fifteen minutes after we had parked; the timing of her appearance was exactly as we had forecasted. We saw her go up to the house and give the guy some cash. He gave her what she wanted and then she walked back to her car. Michelle had hoped that she would take a big snort of the uncut coke right there but instead she drove off."

"What did you do?"

"We had to follow her Chris. We saw which way she was driving when she left there and we tried to catch up. But she had a pretty big lead and we had lost sight of her. We quickly realized that we had lost her. So we drove around that area for maybe thirty minutes without any luck. Then we decided to go back to Garden Grove and see if her car was back at her mom's house. When we arrived there her car was missing. So we drove around that area and checked a few nearby parking lots but we couldn't find her. We circled back around her mom's house a few more times but it was obvious she wasn't there. Michelle told me that Nancy was probably back in Hawthorne and had overdosed by then."

"Did you go back to Hawthorne?"

"Yes lover, we went back into that Hell hole again. This time we were more careful in our search and we found her car. It was parked in an alleyway behind a dumpster. We parked about three blocks from there and our plan was for me to walk to the car. Michelle had given me a wig and a jacket to wear, which we were going to throw away afterwards. I approached the car from behind and I walked slowly. I kept my face down so if I saw anyone I wouldn't have to make eye contact with them. But there was nobody around, and as I neared the car I saw Nancy slumped over in the driver's seat. I watched her for about twenty seconds to see if I could observe any motion. I saw no movement and I didn't think she was breathing either."

"Did you open the car door and check her pulse Liz?"

"No, I was worried that she might just be sleeping and she would wake up and see me. So I headed back to where Michelle was parked. I told her what I saw and she said we should leave the area and return in a few hours to see what had happened. So Michelle drove us over to Manhattan Beach and suggested that we eat lunch. I was not in the mood for any food Chris. My stomach was tied up in knots and my heart was racing. I wasn't sure but I thought that Nancy was dead. But Michelle managed to eat a full lunch and acted like nothing had happened. I drank about half of my soda and left the rest behind."

"Did you go back and check on Nancy after lunch?"

"Not right away. Michelle didn't want to be seen near the crime scene so we drove around for quite some time. She told me that she intended to kill the drug dealer next week when she went to pay him the second installment of the money. She said he never checked her yesterday and that if she would have had a gun with her that she would have had dozens of opportunities to have shot him. Michelle said she didn't want to take a chance on him telling the cops about her in some kind of plea deal, if he was ever arrested."

"Oh my god, not another murder."

"This guy is human filth as far as I'm concerned Chris. He sells dope to people and ruins their lives. He deserves to die and go to Hell. So if Michelle wants to kill him; it's good riddance."

"I know he is a bad man but we are getting in this so deep Liz. I'm scared what's going to happen to us."

"I'm not going to take any part in that Chris. After what I saw today I won't kill again. I'm the one who actually had to see if Nancy was really dead. Michelle made me do that since she was taking care of the dealer."

"So you finally went back to Nancy's car?"

"It was almost 4 o'clock and I begged Michelle to drive back to Hawthorne. She was still very reluctant to go back to the scene of the crime, but I insisted. I told her I had to know if Nancy was dead. So she finally agreed and we drove back and parked where we had earlier. I put on the wig and the jacket but this time I also put on a pair of Michelle's latex surgical gloves. I kept my hands in the jacket pockets so the gloves wouldn't be visible. I approached the car and saw that Nancy had not moved. It had been at least five hours and she hadn't moved an inch. I assumed she was dead. But I had to be certain. I looked around and nobody was in the alley so I opened the car door. I saw an open bag of dope laying on the car seat next to Nancy. I took her wrist in my hand and felt for a pulse. She was completely limp and there was no pulse. Nancy was dead. I cried as I closed the car door and returned to where Michelle was parked."

"I'm so sorry that you had to be the one to do that darling. I know how much it must have hurt you to see her that way."

"I told Michelle and she was actually happy. She said: "Good, that's one less problem for us. Now let's get out of here." We left and headed back to Michelle's apartment in Orange. I suggested that we call 911 from a pay phone and have the cops take her to the morgue. Michelle reacted angrily when she heard me say that. She said: "If you call the cops it will bring them right back to us through that fucking dealer. We need to let her sit in that car until a garbage truck empties the dumpster next week and then the garbage man will discover her body. It will be harder for the cops because she will smell awful by then and they won't look as hard for evidence." I could hardly believe that Michelle was saying this about someone she had been intimate with on many occasions."

"Did you agree to do that Liz?"

"I didn't have any choice at that moment. Michelle would have put me on her list of victims if I crossed her. So I said okay. I was very sad and knew it was wrong, but then I figured out what I needed to do. I decided that I would call 911 after I left Michelle's apartment. There is no way she could know that it was me who called it in. All I had to do was make sure she wasn't following me."

"Did she try a follow you Liz? That would be so scary."

"I don't think she followed me, but I didn't take any chances. I drove home after I left her place at 7:00 PM."

"But you didn't come home until after ten."

"I drove through our parking lot a few times to see if anyone was watching but I never stopped. After I was fairly certain that nobody was tailing me I headed back to Hawthorne. I drove past the alley and Nancy's car was still there. It was very dark and I wasn't sure if she was still in it, but I assumed she was. So I drove about a mile to a convenience store and used the outdoor pay phone. I wore the same wig and had the gloves on so I wouldn't leave any finger prints on the phone. I tried to use a male voice, like the night we made love when you pretended to be a guy, and called 911. I said I thought there was a dead person in a car and I gave the location. Then I hung up and immediately drove away."

"Where did you go Liz?"

"I drove up to Venice Beach and I parked my car. I tossed the wig, gloves, and jacket in a trash can. Then I just walked along the crowded beach front where all the people sell their art works. It started getting dark and so I headed back to my car. I just sat in it until 9:30 and then I decided to drive back to Hawthorne. As I approached the location of Nancy's car I could see emergency vehicles with their lights flashing. I knew they had found her body and they would take proper care of our friend. I couldn't let Nancy rot in her car like Michelle said. I met her mom once and she was a nice lady. She shouldn't be made to suffer more than what the loss of her daughter is already going to cause."

"Darling, you did the right thing. And if Michelle asks me when you got home I will say it was around 7:30."

"I drove straight home after that Chris, but for a moment I thought about killing myself. I have really screwed up our lives."

I hugged her and kissed her repeatedly and told my beautiful companion that everything would be better in the morning. At least I sincerely hoped it would be. But I was worried that this whole situation had already begun to spiral out of control. I now feared that Michelle would kill us all as soon as she got her money. It was obvious to me that she subscribed to the notion that dead witnesses tell no tales. I had originally planned on telling Liz about what I had done with Jill but that could wait until tomorrow.

"Why don't you go take off your dirty clothes darling? I will run some water and you can take a nice hot bath and wash away those bad thoughts. How does that sound?"

Liz agreed and I went to the bathroom so I could have everything ready for her. I wanted to make her forget about everything that had happened today. This was my chance to be supportive and show her just how much I truly loved her.

*

Chapter 22

I hadn't even started to fill the tub when I turned back and saw Liz standing in the doorway to our bathroom. She was holding the strap-on harness and dildo which Jill and I had used earlier. I instantly remembered that neither Jill nor I had made up the bedroom after our love making. I realized that I had been caught before I had a chance to tell my fiancée what had taken place. The timing couldn't have been worse and I assumed that I was in big trouble. I had to say something: "Liz darling, I had intended to tell you about that when you got home, but I changed my mind because you were so distraught by what happened today. I thought I should wait until tomorrow to tell you. I'm sorry I didn't say something about it right away."

Liz didn't say a word, instead she dropped the love making device on the floor and turned and walked back to the bedroom. I could see that she was crying and very emotional. I had been so stupid not to make up the bed and straighten up after Jill and I finished this morning. As a result of my stupidity I had hurt my fiancée when she was most vulnerable.

I saw Liz lying face down on the bed; she was still dressed in her jeans and tee shirt. She must have seen the sex toy before she had a chance to take off her clothes. I wasn't sure if I should leave her alone or I should try and explain what happened. I thought that I should say something: "I'm so sorry darling, can you try and forgive me?"

Liz rolled over, her face was bright red and tears were streaming down her cheeks. In a confused and hurt voice she asked: "Why did you do it Chris? I was out there doing something very dangerous so we could be together. The things I did today were so horrible that I considered killing myself afterwards. And the whole time you were fucking Jill in our bed. How could you do that? Didn't you care about what happened to me?"

"Oh god Liz, I'm so sorry that I cheated. I tried to be faithful to you, but I was weak and gave into temptation. I know I let you down darling at the worst possible moment. My lack of judgment and my wrongful actions today were indefensible. All I can do is ask you to forgive me darling and tell you that it will never happen again."

"Why should I believe you Chris? I have seen the way you carry on with Jill. You love her more than me, don't you?"

I was starting to cry as I realized that this was a very serious situation: "That's not true darling. I love you and want us to get married. I don't want to marry Jill."

"Then why did you cheat on me just two days after we became engaged?"

"All I can say is that I screwed up big time. If you want I can tell you what happened. I don't want to tell you about it if it's going to make you feel worse darling. But if you want to know what happened then I will tell you. This isn't an excuse or anything like that. I know I was wrong and I knew it was wrong when I did it. But I did try to prevent it at first but I eventually gave into my sexual urges."

Liz sat up on the bed and was hugging her pillow close to her body. She pulled her knees up which caused the pillow to be trapped between her chest and her thighs. Then she looped her arms around her bent legs and locked her hands together below her knees. Her slender fingers were intertwined and she rested her chin on the top of the soft white pillow. She looked at me with her sad eyes and said: "Okay, I'm listening. Now tell me why you had to have sex while I was out risking my life for us. The only reason I took that chance was to give us an opportunity to live together as a couple."

I sat down on the edge of our bed and looked directly at Liz. I wanted her to know I was telling the truth and that I wasn't holding anything back. So I started at the beginning: "When Jill showed up I offered to fix her some breakfast. I was in the kitchen looking in the refrigerator and telling Jill what we had available to eat. Then she crept into the kitchen and got behind me and told me that she wanted my body more than the food. As I turned around to see her, she kissed me and asked me if I wanted to go back to bed with her."

"So was that all it took Christine? Was one little kiss from Jill enough to get you to break up our relationship?"

"No Liz, I stopped her by pulling away. I told Jill I couldn't have sex with her and I told her why. That is when I told her about our engagement. She was so happy for us when I told her about our plans. It was only then that she realized that was why I didn't want to have sex with her. I believe she had assumed that since she has been a big part of our love making in the past few months that it wasn't a problem that you weren't present. I explained to her that I wanted to be faithful to you darling, and that if you agreed to us having three-way sex, like we had before, that would be fine. But I told her we had to wait for you Liz"

"What made you change your mind? Why didn't you wait for me to come home Chris?"

"To be perfectly honest Liz, I was just weak. We were eating breakfast at the small dinette table in the kitchen. Jill was talking about the first time we met back in Dr. Lyon's office. I should have cut her off right there because that was my first lesbian experience and every time I think about it I become sexually aroused. But she kept talking about how sexy I looked when she saw me that first time while I was just wearing my panties and a smile. I once again started remembering the sexual excitement my body experienced that day in the doctor's office, and those memories started getting me hot and wet. Jill wasn't even trying to be provocative, it's just the way she is naturally. And she looked so sexy sitting there in her short denim skirt and white tee."

Liz didn't seem as mad as she had been a few minutes earlier and she asked: "What were you wearing Chris?"