Vox Dominus Pt. 06

Seb thought he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

He reached a shaking hand forward, unable to stop his fingers from gently tilting her head so it was level with his. "Very good. Now let's open those eyes nice and gently," he said, the arousal and adrenaline causing even his mouth to run on autopilot. "Still staying in trance, still feeling nice and relaxed, but let me see those perfect, beautiful eyes again."

Right on command, Sophia's long lashes gently rose. Seb's breath caught as her dazed pupils met his—for a moment, he wondered if she was still lucid enough to realize he had just called her beautiful, or to notice the gentle, intimate way he was holding her. But if she did, she didn't make a move to break away—her head remained right where it was, gently resting in Seb's hand, her expression docile and content.

Still, better safe than sorry. "A-and as you go deeper and deeper," Seb continued, "it's okay to...to move however you feel is necessary. Go ahead and let your body respond to what it's feeling, to help you relax and—"

The rest of his sentence was lost as Sophia's lips pressed into his. His entire body stiffened, her soft warmth paradoxically freezing him into place. He closed his eyes, allowing the feeling to take him for just a moment, to melt his cares and concerns into one perfect second a bliss.

And then he heard footsteps thumping behind her door. Seb tore away with a gasp, falling on his butt right as Mr. Iglesias entered the room.

"Hey, you two," he said. "How's the homework coming?"

"Uh, great!" Seb squeaked, watching in terror as Mr. Iglesias's attention darted between him and Sophia, who was groggily swaying in her chair. "She, uh, we were studying, and I-I think she got so bored she fell asleep in her chair. I was just, um, just checking on her when..."

"Uh huh," Mr. Iglesias nodded, his eyes narrowing. "That true, mi princesa? Did you take a little nap?"

"Huh?" Sophia blinked, her brow furrowing as the light returned to her eyes. "Oh. Umm...yeah...I...musta fallen asleep..."

"Well, sorry, but break time's over. You both have work to do." Her father started to turn, then stopped, noticing something on the floor. "That yours, Sebastian?"

Seb followed his gaze to the pendant on the carpet. "Ah, yeah!" he exclaimed, racing to pick it up. "It's a, uh, meditation tool. To help me focus."

"I see. Make sure you don't forget it," Mr. Iglesias said with a tight smile before turning and leaving the room.

Seb waited until he couldn't hear footsteps in the hall anymore, then rushed to Sophia's side. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Sorry, I shouldn't have left you under so long, I...I..."

His words failed as she looked up at him, her face awash in confusion and embarrassment, her mouth struggling to form words. "I...I don't know, I..." she whispered. Her eyes darted back and forth, her breaths becoming short and rapid.

"Sophia, I..."

"I-I'm sorry!" she cried, leaping to her feet and dashing from the room.

"W-wait!" Seb scrambled to follow her into the hall, but he was too slow. The bathroom door closed and locked, leaving him grasping at the handle like an idiot. "Sophia!"

"Is there a problem?" a voice behind him asked. He turned to see Mr. Iglesias watching from around the corner, eyes boring into Seb as the muffled sounds of Sophia's sobs leaked into the hall.

"I..." Seb croaked, failing to fight the shaking in his voice. "I think I have to go."

___________________________________

Seb drummed his fingers on the table, struggling to contain the emotions bubbling inside of him. "So, uh, you never mentioned why you ended up transferring here. You were going to Western before, right?"

"Y-yeah but it, uh, it wasn't working out." Sophia chewed her lip. "It was hard being so far from my family, and well...you know I'm not good at making new friends."

"So you decided to run back to old ones?" Seb asked, before instantly regretting it.

Sophia wilted. "You could put it that way, I guess."

"Sorry, I didn't...," Seb pinched the bridge of his nose. "That was uncalled for. I'm sorry"

"It's okay," Sophia shook her head. "It's what I deserve."

"That's not true. Back then, the whole situation was so..." Seb looked for the right word. "So messed up, on so many levels. And I know I'm responsible too. There's no reason for me to be cruel to you about it, I just...there's a lot going on there, y'know?"

Despite his fumbling summation, Sophia gave an understanding nod. "It's like that for me too. It..." She paused, taking a moment to wrestle some thorny thought before asking: "Seb, can I ask you a, uh, kind of weird question?"

"Um, sure."

"Do you..." she looked away, rubbing her shoulder. "Do you still hate me?"

____________________________________

Even though he knew the auditorium was silent, Seb felt like he was drowning in a sea of noise. His thoughts spun like a hurricane in his skull, sweat dripping down his face and onto stage.

Amy was sitting in the chair next to him, her bright green eyes flitting between him and the pendant above her, concern clouding her freckled face. He was supposed to do the induction now. To hypnotize her. To say something. Anything.

"F-focus your eyes o-on the PENdant," he stuttered, the crack in his voice eliciting some giggles from the audience.

Why was he doing this? What was the point? It felt like some insane joke: here he was, humiliating himself for the sake of a lie. Trapped on a train to disaster, hurtling over tracks he had helped lay himself.

"W-watch c-carefully as it s-sWIngs," he stumbled on, the crystal bobbing erratically in his shaking hand. Maybe he could still get through this. He could stick to the plan, and everyone would be happy. He could still put on a good show, get a date for prom, and patch things between him and Sophia up later. What other choice did he have? Why should he waste this opportunity with Amy because of a confusing, stupefying kiss?

Besides, this is was Sophia's plan, wasn't it? This is what she had wanted, right? This was...this was...

Seb choked as the rest of the induction shriveled in his throat. Who was he kidding? He didn't want to be with a girl he had barely spoken to. He wanted to be with Sophia. They had been side-by-side since as long as he could remember. Now he was isolated in a cone of light, dribbling broken words onto his dress shoes. More alone than he had ever been in his life.

"I..." Seb turned, looking away from his subject into the audience. "I..." he searched for any sign of Sophia in the crowd, hoping beyond hope that maybe she had come to see this through. He had been too scared to text her before the show, but if she was out there, he could make her understand right now. It didn't matter what the rest of the school thought—as long as she was with him, he knew he would survive.

But the only spectators Seb recognized were a stocky, balding man, and a narrow, straw-haired woman. Both staring at him with shock and horror.

His parents had come to the show.

__________________________________

"I don't...hate you," Seb answered, struggling to force his words around the feelings raging inside him.

"But...you're still mad," Sophia recognized.

"Well, I'm...I'm..."

She smiled ruefully. "It's been a while, but I can still tell when you're angry, Seb."

"Okay, yes," Seb admitted with an exasperated sigh. "I am angry. But I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at, at..." he gestured uselessly at the air. "This, everything, the whole situation. I'm angry that things played out the way they did and that I'm...I'm still not totally over them yet," he confessed.

"I...never really got over it either," she admitted. "But I-I really want that to change. I want us to be friends again." She hesitated. "Do you?"

__________________________________________

"I'm not leaving until you get out here!" Seb shouted, his fist pounding the chipped wooden door, his breath ragged from having run all the way from the auditorium. Rain leaked between the slats in the porch roof, falling on his head in freezing, infuriating streams. But even as the cold water soaked his skin, his veins still blazed with shame and rage. "Sophia!"

The door finally swung open, revealing the guilt-stricken face of his former best friend. "S-Seb, I'm sorry," she sputtered. "When my parents saw me crying, they started asking so many questions, and I was so confused and..."

"So you told them what we were doing?" Seb exclaimed. "They told my parents, Sophia! My parents were at the show! They were there when everybody was laughing at me! You promised this wouldn't happen!"

"I said I was sorry!" Sophia shouted back. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen!"

"What are you talking about?" Seb roared over the downpour. "This was all your idea!"

"I thought it was what you wanted!" she cried.

"I don't want Amy! I want...I...want" Seb faltered, the tears in Sophia's eyes extinguishing the flames in his chest. "Soph, please..."

"I'm sorry," Sophia repeated, her lips trembling. "Seb, we can't. Not after my parents...not after we..."

"Don't," Seb held up his hand. "Don't tell me that kiss didn't mean anything."

"I...I don't know what it meant," Sophia pressed her palms against her head. "I don't know what I was thinking or why, it...it was so confusing and I just...I can't, Seb, I can't."

Seb closed his eyes, his heartstrings shaking so hard he thought they would snap. "Fine," he spat, turning away. He could feel a black poison building within him, threatening to flood his lungs and spill out of his mouth. He didn't know how or why, but he knew that if he stayed any longer, he would say something he could never take back.

"Seb, wait," Sophia started across the door, but shrank back as a stream of rain fell before her. "W-we can talk this out, we—"

"Leave me alone," he growled.

"Seb..."

"I said LEAVE ME ALONE!" he roared, the words erupting out of his chest, as if a different voice had uttered them. A strange lightheadedness overtook him and his vision went blurry, the tears in his eyes distorting Sophia's face into a monstrous mask of shock and pain.

Without another word, Seb ran into the downpour, praying the water would just wash him away.

___________________________________________

Seb's spine tingled as Sophia's question hung in the air, as charged as the memories crackling in his brain. The tempest inside kept spinning, leaving him grasping for direction. He wanted to escape. He wanted more time. But he knew he couldn't afford to run this time. The only way out of this storm was to break it himself. Even if it felt impossible.

"I..." He grit his teeth. "I've been...feeling a lot of conflicting emotions since I saw you out here. I've felt angry, and happy, and frustrated, and anxious but..." he paused, realization breaking like a ray of light through the clouds. "Even in all the chaos, there have been two constants. Regret, for the way things went down before. And hope...that we would get a second chance."

Sophia took his answer in, her face gradually brightening. "So...can we..." she whispered, as if not daring to say the words out loud. "Can we be friends again?"

Seb managed smile. "Yes," he said. "Friends." His gaze met hers, connecting for once not in fear or suspicion, but in mutual, overwhelming relief.

"Hey, Seb," a familiar voice called behind him, shattering the moment like a stone through glass. He turned, only to see the speaker already arriving at the table, coffee in her hand, a gleam in her bright blue eyes.

"Who's your friend?" Chelsea asked with a sliver of a smile.