Voyage Into Manhood Ch. 03

Finally he spotted Ezekiel's computer in the drawer underneath his desk. He pulled it out and opened it. Luckily it wasn't password protected, so he started looking through Ezekiel's files to see if he could find anything. He wasn't quite sure what he should be looking for, so he started by searching through his recently accessed files to see if anything stood out.

Nothing caught his eye, so he opened up Ezekiel's email and began to search for anything scandalous. Again, there was nothing to be found.

He started to get nervous, worried that his luck would run out and he would get caught. Still, he didn't want to leave empty handed, so he clicked on the browser window to check Ezekiel's search history.

Suddenly a browser window that had been minimized popped up, displaying the web page that Ezekiel had last been looking at. Jacob's heart stopped as he saw what it was.

"JOURNALIST AWARDED GLAAD MEDIA AWARD", the headline read, with a photo of Alex underneath, beaming. He was shaking the hand of a man while holding a silver award in his other hand. He looked so proud.

"Nosing around, are we?"

Jacob spun around to see Brad standing at the doorway, grinning at him.

"I was just--"

"Going through Ezekiel's computer?" Brad asked.

Jacob shook his head. "No, I wasn't trying to pry," he said quickly. "I was just... I didn't have internet access out here and I needed to check my work email."

"Uh huh," Brad said, closing the door behind him.

"I got a text from my boss about something urgent with a client. I just needed to reply, that's all, and I figured I could just--"

"You figured you could just waltz in here and use Ezekiel's private computer without asking," Brad said as he got closer to Jacob. Jacob held his breath as Brad got right up close to him.

"You know what I think?" Brad asked quietly, his face inches from Jacob's. "I think you saw me and Wesley the other night and you got a little curious."

Jacob's face went pale. "Wha-what?"

Brad smiled. "I know you saw us that night. You think I didn't spot you standing there in the doorway, your hand down your pants, rubbing yourself while I fucked him?"

Brad ran his hand down Jacob's arm, breathing in.

"I bet you were wishing that was you. Weren't you? Wishing that was your ass I was fucking."

Jacob said nothing. He was too shocked to speak.

"You know, you've got the sweetest lips I think I've ever seen," Brad said as he ran his thumb along Jacob's lips. "You ever sucked a cock before?"

Jacob looked down, his eyes growing wide as Brad rubbed his crotch.

"Go on. It's okay baby, I know what you want. Get on your knees."

Jacob gulped. A part of him knew that Brad was right, that he had been turned on watching him and Wesley, wishing it had been him getting fucked by Brad. And a large part of him wanted to drop to his knees right now and suck Brad's cock, as though he was being compelled by its sheer size and girth.

But a voice in his head told him it was wrong. Not the same voice that told him it was wrong to be gay, the one of shame that told him he was sick. It was a new voice, something deeper within him.

"Don't," he could hear the voice say in his head.

"Why not?" he wondered. "I've already committed sodomy. What's stopping me from this?"

"It's not Alex," said the voice.

He knew instinctively that it was right. Much as he was attracted to the idea of fucking Brad and giving himself over to him, he knew it was different than what he had with Alex. That was more than just sex. It was something special.

"Are you gonna suck my dick, or are you just gonna stand there with your mouth hanging open?" asked Brad.

Jacob took a step back. "I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have come in here. It won't happen again."

He raced to the door and opened it, quickly closing it behind him before he booked it down the hall. He went into his room and locked the door, his heartbeat racing as he sat on his bed. He waited for the sound of Brad following him, but he began to relax once he realized that he wasn't coming after him.

Shit. Alex was right, that was way too dangerous of him to be snooping around like that. And the whole thing with Brad... He wasn't sure he would've been able to say no if he didn't have Alex to... Fuck! Alex!

He suddenly remembered what he'd seen on the computer. Why was Ezekiel looking into Alex? Did he suspect him? Well, if he didn't before, he sure as hell did now that he had read that article about him.

And what about Brad? Would he tell Ezekiel that he'd caught him snooping in his room? Jacob wasn't sure, but he had no way of knowing. He just hoped that his shenanigans hadn't ruined Alex's plans to expose Ezekiel.

All of a sudden he heard banging at the door. "Jacob? Are you in there?"

He opened the door to find Alex outside. Alex quickly rushed in and shut the door behind him.

"What the fuck? Are you okay? What happened, where were you?"

"I'm okay, I'm fine, I-"

"I turned around and you were gone. I would have gone after you but Ezekiel wouldn't let me out of his sight. I think he might suspect I'm onto him."

"He knows you are," Jacob said.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"I mean I went in his room."

"You did what?" Alex yelled.

"Keep your voice down!" hissed Jacob. "I went into his room to check his computer. I didn't find anything on there, but I did see that he was reading an article online. An article about you, winning a gay award or something."

Alex exhaled. "Fuck. That was a GLAAD media award for an article I wrote. If he saw that, then that means he knows who I am. I gave a fake last name when I signed up for the retreat, but he must have found me somehow."

"What are you going to do?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know. There's no way he's going to let his guard down, not now that he knows about me."

"We'll figure something out," Jacob said, touching Alex's arm.

"I don't like that you did that without talking to me," Alex said. "You could have gotten caught and jeopardized everything. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you because of me..."

He reached out and touched Jacob's cheek, stroking it softly.

"About that," said Jacob sheepishly.

"What?" asked Alex as he dropped his hand.

"I did kind of get caught."

"WHAT?"

"It's not that bad, it wasn't Ezekiel. Brad just saw me-"

"Brad saw you?" said Alex. "That's just as bad! Now he's gonna tell Ezekiel and then-"

"Wait," Jacob said. "I don't think he's going to tell. He knows I saw him with Wesley the other night."

"Did you tell him you saw him?"

"No," said Jacob hesitantly. "He must have spotted me."

"What did he say?"

"Well... he sort of came onto me."

Alex's hand clenched into a fist. "What?" he asked, his voice in a low growl.

"Nothing happened, he just-"

"What the fuck did he do? Did he touch you? I swear to God, I'm gonna-"

"Alex, stop!" Jacob said. He had never seen Alex this angry before. Alex looked like he was ready to burst out of there and beat the shit out of Brad. Jacob put his hand on Alex's chest to try and calm him.

"He didn't touch me. He just... asked me to suck his dick."

"As if you would!" Alex scoffed.

Jacob looked at him tentatively.

"Would you?" Alex asked quietly.

"No! No, I wouldn't. I mean, a part of me thought that, I don't know, like maybe I would have a few days ago."

Alex looked hurt. Jacob quickly said, "But that was then. I had never been with a man before, and seeing Brad and Wesley was the first time I'd ever even seen gay sex. But then, when we... when I was with you, it was... different."

He took Alex's hand. "It was special. It felt like more than sex, it was like we had this connection and all of a sudden I didn't have same-sex attraction anymore. I just had this attraction to you, to Alex. Nobody else seemed to matter."

"Don't say that," Alex whispered. He walked over to the bed and put his head in his hands.

"What are you talking about?" Jacob asked.

"Don't make me a promise you can't keep," Alex said. He looked up at Jacob, studying him for a moment. "We had a good time together. We both felt it. But don't forget what happened afterwards."

Jacob looked at him, confused.

"You fell apart, Jacob. You've cried every time we've had sex. You say that you care about me, but you can't even have sex with me without hating yourself afterwards."

"It's not like that," Jacob said. "My wife-"

"Your wife. Exactly. You said it yourself, you made a commitment. You have a family, and I don't."

"Where is this coming from?" Jacob asked angrily.

"Once this retreat is over, once we expose Brad and Ezekiel, you're just going to go back home and leave me all alone. So don't tell me that we have a connection when you're just going to end it the first second you get out of here."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do," Jacob said. "This is all new to me, I've never done this before, I'm not like you!"

"No," Alex laughed scornfully. "You're really not."

"That's not what I mean. I just mean that, while you've been living it up in West Hollywood I've been struggling alone. You get to be out about who you are. If I were to be honest... I would hurt a lot of people."

Alex stared at him. "You talk about West Hollywood like it's some sort of gay Eden. It's not. I mean, sure, being out of the closet is so much better than being in. I wouldn't trade it for a minute. But that doesn't mean I don't still hear my father's voice in the back of my head. Every time I go on a date, every time I'm in bed with another guy, even just walking down the street holding hands, I hear his voice saying, 'This is sick. You're wrong. You're worthless.'"

His voice began to tremble as a tear came out of his eye. "And I believed him. I knew it wasn't true, intellectually I knew that, but still I believed it in my core. I couldn't escape him even when he died. So don't tell me that you're the only one who hates himself."

Jacob sat down next to him on the bed. "Alex..." he said. "That thing with Ezekiel and your father, that was sick. He must have just been trying to torture you. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Alex said quietly. "It's pretty much what I expected from him. This is the kind of shit he pulls with people. He pinpoints your weakness and then he uses it against you to control you or punish you. All while making it seem like he's trying to help. And now that I know he's onto me, it makes sense I'd become his next target."

He looked at Jacob. Jacob was staring at him with a look of concern.

"I'm FINE, Jay. I can handle him. I'm just all the more motivated to make sure this son of a bitch can't fuck with anyone else ever again."

"I can't believe you would put yourself through this just to help other people," said Jacob.

"It's not just for them," said Alex. "I need to do this for me. To prove that the Ezekiels of the world are wrong."

Jacob stared at him. He took his hand.

"I've never met anyone like you," he said. "I don't wanna lose you. You're the only person I've ever been able to talk to about this. Everybody else always said the same thing: 'Love the sinner, hate the sin'. But you're the first person who ever made me feel like I wasn't a sinner. Like I was a good man."

Alex smiled sadly at him. He reached up and brushed back Jacob's hair with his fingers.

"You are a good man," he said.

"Would a good man cheat on his wife?" Jacob asked.

Alex looked at him quietly for a moment. "I think a good man would tell her the truth."

Jacob looked into Alex's eyes. He would never get over how beautiful Alex's eyes were staring back at him through his glasses. He reached his hand out and cupped Alex's cheek with his palm.

"How can this be wrong?" Jacob asked.

"I don't think it can be," said Alex. He leaned in and kissed Jacob softly on the lips. His lips lingered there, brushing against Jacob's as they breathed each other in.

Jacob climbed on top of Alex, wrapping his legs around Alex's waist as he sat in his lap. He rubbed his ass against Alex's pelvis, grunting at the feeling of Alex's hard cock underneath him.

Alex put his hands down Jacob's pants, squeezing his butt cheeks and kneading them with his fingers. Jacob pushed his pants down, leaving his ass hanging out for Alex to grope.

Alex stuck his fingers in between the cleft of Jacob's ass, rubbing them against his sensitive hole. Jacob moaned.

"Sorry baby," Alex said, pulling his hands away. "I don't mean to-"

"No," Jacob said. He grabbed Alex's hands and put them back on his butt. "I want you to."

Alex kissed him again, rubbing his finger against Jacob's hole and sending shockwaves up his spine. Jacob moaned into Alex's mouth, his whole body quivering at the feeling of Alex's digit invading him.

Alex stopped kissing Jacob for just a moment while he lifted his hand to his mouth and wet his finger. He reached down and slipped his finger into Jacob's hole, causing Jacob to let out a high pitched moan as he arched his back in pleasure.

"That feels so good, oh..." whined Jacob as Alex worked his finger deeper inside him.

Alex kissed him again deeply, burying his finger in all the way as far as it would go. He wiggled it around, rubbing up against Jacob's prostate and causing Jacob to whimper into his mouth.

Jacob had never felt so out of control during sex before. With his wife, he'd felt like the captain of a ship he had no idea how to sail. With Alex, it was like he was being led on a wild ride by a trained expert. To be taken advantage of, to be ravished by another man and pleasured and violated--it was everything Jacob had never known he'd wanted. But then again, there had always been a part of him that had wanted to let go.

He kept his arms and legs wrapped around Alex as Alex picked him up and lowered him onto the bed. Alex continued to kiss Jacob as he took off both of their pants and socks, leaving them naked from the waist down.

They stopped kissing just long enough to rip their shirts off before Alex dove back onto Jacob, returning his finger to Jacob's hole and rubbing their naked bodies together.

Jacob was in ecstasy at the feeling of Alex's finger inside him combined with the feeling of their cocks rubbing together. He reached down to grab both of their dicks, stroking his cock against Alex's uncut cock as they slid against each other. They were both precumming hard, making Jacob's fingers wet with sticky fluid as he continued stroking them.

After a few minutes of rubbing their dicks together and fingering Jacob's hole, Alex pulled away from kissing him. He cupped Jacob's face with his hand, staring him in the eyes as he brought their foreheads together.

"I wanna fuck you..." he said softly.

Jacob closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Really?" Alex asked, grinning.

He kissed Jacob all over his face, making Jacob giggle underneath him.

"Hurry up before I change my mind," Jacob said as he slapped his chest playfully.

Alex kissed him again before saying, "All right, Jay. Turn over on your stomach."

Jacob turned over, grabbing the pillow and holding it underneath his chest. He still felt self conscious being naked with Alex, but it actually felt good to see Alex's eyes roaming all over his body like he wanted to tear him apart.

Alex kissed slowly down Jacob's back, tracing him delicately with his fingertips. He got to Jacob's ass cheeks and pulled them apart with his hands to expose Jacob's rosebud. He stuck out his tongue and licked Jacob's hole, making Jacob whimper into the pillow. He wiggled his tongue inside of Jacob, opening him up.

Jacob could feel Alex's mustache scratching his ass cheeks as Alex buried his face in between them. He was pushing his ass back into Alex's face, reaching back and grabbing Alex's hair to shove him further into his hole.

Finally Alex pulled off of Jacob's hole, wetting his finger again and sinking it in. Jacob winced as he felt the protrusion inside him, but Alex kissed his cheek and whispered, "Just relax, baby."

The discomfort quickly went away, and pretty soon the feeling of Alex's finger made him want even more of Alex.

"I need you inside me," Jacob whispered softly as he buried his head into the pillow.

Jacob could feel Alex dropping a glob of saliva onto his hole and working it in with his finger. His heart was racing with fear--would he be able to take Alex's cock? Sure, his tongue and his finger had felt amazing, but his dick was much bigger.

Still, it seemed like Alex had been easily able to take Jacob's cock the night before in the tent, so he hoped that there must be some way he could take it all. He wanted to be good for Alex.

Suddenly he felt Alex's lips against his neck. Alex whispered in his ear, "I'm gonna go slow, Jay. Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop."

Alex continued kissing his neck as he pushed his cock against Jacob's hole. Jacob bit the pillow as he felt the wetness of Alex's uncircumcised cock head pressing against his anal walls, teasing them open. Alex was gyrating his hips, working his cock into Jacob in a circular motion that gently opened up Jacob's hole without him feeling too much pain.

Before Jacob knew it, the head of Alex's cock had popped into him and was steadily working its way in.

"Oh!" he cried out, his cock jumping at the welcome intrusion into his asshole.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, it feels... keep going."

Alex began to slowly push into Jacob. Jacob could feel his hole beginning to tighten around Alex's cock. He took a deep breath as Alex pushed even further into him.

As much as Jacob wanted to be the perfect bottom for Alex, the discomfort was starting to get to him. He was about to say something when Alex licked his hand, reached over, and started to stroke Jacob's cock.

"Oh, my... God..." Jacob said as Alex stroked his cock, bringing him to another level of pleasure. The feeling of Alex's wet hand on his dick was the perfect distraction from being penetrated.

He could feel his hole opening up to accept Alex's dick with little to no resistance. Pretty soon Alex was all the way inside him, his pubic hair pushed up against Jacob's butt cheeks.

"How does it feel?" Alex whispered in Jacob's ear, his cock fully buried inside him.

"So full... and so good..." Jacob said, tightening his hole around Alex's cock.

Alex let out a moan. "Fuck, Jay. My dick feels so good when you do that."

Jacob did it again.

"Jesus! You're gonna make me cum," Alex panted, dropping his forehead against Jacob's back.

"Fuck me, Alex," Jacob said as he pushed his ass back on Alex's dick.

Alex began to thrust back and forth into Jacob, still stroking his cock while he penetrated him. The combination of his penis and his asshole both being stimulated was the most erotic experience Jacob had ever had. The sensations coming from his dick as Alex stroked him were magnified by the feeling of Alex's raw cock rubbing against the walls of his inner asshole.

Jacob was shoving his ass back into Alex, putting his hand against Alex's ass to draw him deeper inside him. Far from being painful, now that he had gotten used to Alex's cock it was like he couldn't get enough of it. He kept tightening his asshole on every thrust of Alex's dick, trying to give back a fraction of the pleasure that Alex was giving him.

After a few minutes of this glorious fucking, Jacob grabbed Alex's hand and took it off of his cock.

"Just fuck me, Alex. Hard."

Alex wrapped his arms around Jacob and pounded him hard into the bed, his pelvis meeting Jacob's ass cheeks with the sound of loud, hard slaps. Jacob held onto Alex's arms as he buried his head into the pillow, trying to stifle his moans so as not to alert the other guys.

In that moment, as Alex was fucking him, all Jacob wanted was to feel Alex deeper and deeper inside him. All thoughts of his wife, this place, even of God were gone. The only thing he could think about was how good it felt to be fucked by this man.