by Zenful_Intentions
Good enjoyable story.
Just be careful with the names - his wife seemed to change names a few times.
Thanks for the feedback! I'll double check the names...I wrote it sort of as a "let's see if I can do this pretty quick and get it done" kind of self-project to keep me occupied. It was completed in three short sittings and as a result I realized later that I had confused the names a few times. After having a person or two go over it I thought I'd edited and corrected the inconsistencies but I'll check again. I appreciate the head's up. Sometimes it just takes another set of fresh eyes to point out the most obvious mistakes!
Liked ok I loved the story wanted to keep reading great start gogo need more
Really not a bad little tale, however I have to agree with Anonymous. Losing track of Lacey's name and calling her Erika several times kind of detracts from the story and breaks the chain of the narrative. Other than that, nicely paced, believable, and looking forward to the sequel.
its set up for a 2nd chapter. she likes to show off so please exploit that
Quite a nice story though for me it was spoilt by introducing his wife so soon and not concentrating on his voyeurism. Still, clearly others disagree! I really liked the phrase, 'He stood up and walked to the window, enjoying the feel of his weighty manhood.' A good image of the aroused man taking pleasure in his nakedness before watching the young girl!
Really great story, very hot. I'm super curious to see where you go with the next chapter. Voyeur, blowjob, and swallow is a great combination, and the frisky wife aspect is just sweet, sweet icing on the cake.
Fond memories from my teenage years (Minus the Lacey character), i watched a girl and she watched me!
More please
Very nice, but a little short and needed more erotica to get a five star. Great writing tho.