by oggbashan
Your stories are heart warming.
Another 5 stars from me
Thank you
Wayyyyy too short!. You could have developed the characters much more and really made this a 5* story. I don't know how you can add to this story as you have ended it already. Maybe go back when they were younger? Thanks for your time and imagination.
I agree in SMALL part with anon (earlier today). I'd put it by saying that the ending is a bit too compressed and abrupt. But it's a sketch, a short-short, and it's otherwise done very well. All to the point.
Once again, a gripe about a typo: "finished her" should be "finished here". (You're one of the very few I bug about things like this, just because you're usually careful and I know it slipped through. One more thing I admire about your work.)
Please keep up the good work!
-- WWC3
WilCox49
I must have missed it. Rather boring story. I believe this is the first of yours I've read. I hope the others are better. Then again they have to be.
1 star
DragonRider55
The reader asserts the moral right to eat cookies whenever I want. So there!
Loved the concept, and thought it was building well, but it didn’t go anywhere from the kiss, we need more good stories based in Wales, please think about re-writing it so we get to know them and see their characters become multi dimensional
Well 4 stars for it being an Oggbashan story and than the extra fifth if it's a good story ; this one just scraped in at 5 stars. After the kiss there was a lot of information that was rushed into 5 sentences. Nearly didn't give the fifth star , but than thought that there are so many crap stories on this site with higher scores ; I gave you 5 stars in the hope that you'll make your next story great again.
Your stories are invariably well written, captivating and thoroughly readable. I enjoyed this story, but it felt a bit like the Readers Digest version. Please expand on this outline to bring it up to your usual standard.
A lovely little story. I feel sorry for people such as DragonRider, who apparently require multiple sex scenes to recognize romance. This story was romantic.
It was, as others have said, too brief. It would have been nice to learn more about your character’s lives. Consider, if you would, expanding it to multiple pages.
Simon seems a wonderful man, considerate and selfless here. I understand he and Penny become boyfriend and girlfriend. Is your story worthy of Part 2 and a continuation of their story? A wedding? A young married life with love and kids? I imagine Simon as a warm handsome man with chest hair and a warm embrace for Penny.
I'm guessing that the comments of "Too Short" can be further defined as "A Very Enjoyable Read" !
Thanks !
It was an enjoyable read but far too short spent more time describing the weather and only two or three lines about them falling in love it barely constitutes as a romance story