All Comments on 'Waking Up with Princess'

I just read this back and noticed a lot of mistakes. My proofreading wasn't up to snuff. I apologise.

I tend not to read any story where "you" is used in place of a name. It makes me feel as if somebody it telling me want I should think. It's completely up to you, but As for myself, I feel it takes away form what is going on in the story. Just something to think about.

I agree I give stories 1* & don't read them if its "you" instead of a name. I dont want to be written in your story at all. Especially since most authors make the "you" a guy & I'm a girl. I didn't read this story but based off the first "you" I'm guessing she's a girl also but I still dnt like it. Don't write "me" in your story.

She sounds a lot younger than 18.

Thank you for your comments! I fully understand that the second person narrative isn't for everyone. I did consider not using it. In many ways it certainly isn't the right choice for this story. I decided to go with it anyway, simply because that is how I felt like writing it. However, I am aware that it drastically reduces the number of people it will appeal to. Never mind, some people like it, most won't. I know a story like this, written in this way, only has a very limited audience.

Why did 'you' write this as if 'you' were talking to me? I'm not 'your' daughter and I'm not a female.

Seriously, it makes no sense to write in this tense. If you re-write this, I may give you a vote. As for now, no vote. It could be a good story, but I stopped after the first 3 paragraphs.

Of course, the mindless bots living in their mother's basements will tell me to STFU.

I can't believe the brainless crap that gets posted in these comments. It's common enough to write a story as if it is being addressed to a third person. You, the reader, are NOT the 'you' being addressed. But more to the point, you dumb fucks, this site is for porn. Grab your dick - you do have one, I take it - and play with it as you read. That is what Literotica is for, not literary criticism (and expressing a personal preference for one tense or another is NOT literary criticism anyway). Oh, I almost forgot - author - a great story. Thanks, and ignore the ignorant proles and/or trolls.

It made me fell as I did at home 30 years ago. I too enjoyed being with Dad & Mom when I was very young.

What a great story, disregard all these nay-sayers. Loved it.

This made me feel all shivery and good, in a way that is dirty and forbidden and naughty, despite being female and never feeling this way about my father. Still, the writing was such that I could easily put myself in the father's shoes and feel as he was feeling. But the ending was heart-wrenching, and almost brought me to tears, in a... good way? I think? I've never read erotica with which I've felt so much empathy. Amazingly written!

Ignore these anonymous dissenters, who complain because the story isn't to their liking. Don't like it? Well shit, there's a squillion other stories on this site that could be to your taste. Move on, pick another story, and don't be a total jerkoff about it just because it doesn't get you off.

Loved this and I loved the ending even more! I would have adored this story no matter what, but having the dad filled with doubt after he came was so much more realistic than what you get in most stories. The ending was a cherry on top to a deliciously descriptive story.

Woken? I think the word you need is awakened . . . .