Walked Away?

She looked down onto the angelic face of the sleeping child, her mind refused to acknowledge the ache in her breast nor the twisted feeling in the pit of her stomach. Ever so gently, so as not to disturb the infant, she caressed its face; the soft pads of her fingers elicited a half smile in the slumber land of innocence. A small hand wiggled its self-free from the confines of the casimire blanket, a gift from the mother's family.

The chime of the door, originating from the foyer had the woman's head come up in surprise she had not expected it to come so soon but expect it she had. Miriam had earlier told her she could not get there until after eleven. Looking at the clock on the wall, it was ten fifteen and she was not quite ready. Exchanging greetings, she filled the sitter in on where things stood or in this case lay.

As usual the lively Miriam engaged her employer in light chat, she actually thought she could draw the new mother out of her shell to fill in all the details of her life. It was not that Miriam was overly nosey but honestly interested in her employer. Who evaded most of her questions, normally with a non-committed answer, polite but in no uncertain terms shutting down question time. To be fair Miriam did not push the issue, certain that one day her employer would open up to her innocently asked queries.

While Miriam went into the lounge and deposited her bag filled with her study material that she hoped to get out of the way before the eight-month-old woke demanding a bottle and or a nappy change. Noting the cleanliness as always nothing seemed out of place or haphazardly tossed onto a surface, it always appeared as if the apartment was a show case. Presented for a magazine or potential sale, fully knowing the couple had only bought and moved in a year ago. The ideal couple her mother had said, young upcoming executives ready to take the world head on.

Miriam was not so sure of that statement, Yvonne Bonnard may outwardly show she was shiny and robust like polished titanium but every once in a while, when it looked like Miriam was not observing she seemed brittle, a tiny push and she would shatter. Her husband was more relaxed and even in his expensive suits appeared more approachable, not that Miriam had anything to do with Frank Henley; she had only spoken to him once and that was only three sentences.

"Frank should be back about five o'clock, there is lunch for you in the fridge, three minutes on high in the microwave, or preheat the oven to 180 and take it out after 20 minutes. There's fresh bread and you know where the condiments are kept."

"Thank you," Miriam replied.

The baby monitor relayed the sound of the child stirring, both women froze, the child resettled, the even breathing of sleep clearly indicating this. The expressions on the pair were as different from each other as chalk and cheese, Yvonne's was relief, Miriam's disappointment.

"Oh, your pay is on the counter, best put it in your bag so as not to forget it like last time!"

The younger woman blushed, "thank you Yvonne."

"Not at all, you have been a god send and deserve every cent, I'll head off and leave you to it then, thank you so much for everything you'll do."

Miriam noted the strange parting but was side-tracked when the cry of the baby was heard, she made her way rapidly to the nursery and did not see Yvonne leave. She also failed to note the finality of the door closing. That closing was not lost on Yvonne, the lone tear sliding down her cheek. She hesitated, half turned, shook her head and stepped into the maw of the lift pressing the ground floor button.

Frank closed the door quietly as he had been asked by Yvonne to do and not call out again as she had requested. Aurélie, their daughter was a light sleeper and as such they tended to tip-toe about; something the nurse had advised them against doing. They now paid a heavy price for going against that advice. Frank made his way to the nursery, surprised to find Miriam helping Aurélie from her cot. At eight months she was just pulling herself up it would not be long before the first steps started her on a journey of independence.

They did their handover, blissfully unaware of the future. Frank getting a bottle of formula ready and a tub of her currently favourite pumpkin mash. He lost track of time enjoying the bonding he had with his daughter. It was only after he had to change her that he realised the time. A worried frown touched his brow he reached for his phone calling her. His surprise when he heard her ringtone coming from the bedroom, turned to disquiet, Yvonne was fastidious about her electronic umbilical cord to her husband firstly and family a close second.

When he finally got to bed around midnight, as exhausted as he was sleep just would not come. Aurélie woke him at about four, it was as if she knew all was not right in her world, she had been sleeping through for a month and a half now, a new pattern was about to start. Yvonne was not next to him; it all came crashing back into focus. He knew the family would come to his assistance if he asked but he could not request them to drop everything and cross the continent at such short notice.

Aurélie, had finally gone down again leaving him wide awake and running on fumes. Contacting his boss way too early he knew, explained he was not able to get to work till later in the morning. Reluctantly giving the reason, after all who wants to admit their partner had vanished, no one knew where, at least no one he had called last night.

Instinctively Malcolm Hughes knew there was more to this than just today. He suggested Frank take the rest of the week off but only once he had ascertained where Franks projects were up to and that nothing was going to jump out of the contracts and bite the firm in the Jacksy. Besides, they could call on him if something went awry.

Aurélie, in tow, well in her pram and it was more a vanguard, Frank approached the duty desk. The desk sergeant frowned at him and the pram, she was not a fan of parents bringing their wards into her station. Five minutes later he was seated in an interview room. Sergeant Carmen Williams was an astute officer of the law and while the old go to was normally twenty-four hours for missing persons, changes allowed when someone's safety was at question right away.

Carmen's suspicions were ringing loud and clear to her, this one had more to it than the surface would reflect right now. She had taken Frank and his daughter into an interview room, to get them out of the way. There was a strong possibility of foul play. History indicated when couples were involved once the dust had settled and the bodies dug up, the spouse or boy/girlfriend were the perpetrators. Deep down Carmen suspected this one would not be one of those; years of police work though made her override the chink in her thinking, work on facts and facts alone was her mantra, hunches could not be allowed to misdirect the search for the truth.

The sergeant collected her information looked at Aurélie in her pram, a small smile came easily to her lips at the angelic beauty of the child fast asleep, her father's hand protectively resting lightly next to her arm.

"Um, I'll have to change her soon, can I do it here or do you have..."

Carmen interrupted his question, "I'll show you, then collect you from there, I need to take this to the Superintendent, I'll be ten minutes or so."

Frank knew better than to question her statement, he did read the news and had a good idea of the wringer he was going to be subjected to. He would be suspect number one if Yvonne did not return whole and healthy soon.

Frank and Aurélie were handed off to the missing persons team. He went through the events as best he knew again. Returned home, drained and hoping that he would find Yvonne waiting for them. Alas his hopes were in vain.

Yvonne's movements were painstakingly pieced together at a cost, police work was not cheap and while technology helped the 'big brother sees all' conspiracy only worked if working cameras were truly available, coverage in high traffic and population areas helped; those in the public domain such as bus and train stations or high traffic areas a valuable tool for tracing movements. Facial and body recognition software helped the officers but it still required a human to validate that data.

Frank and Aurélie, lent on Miriam for the initial help in the next few days. Nights they were on their own, it was as if his daughter knew her mother was gone and play up she did. She slept from eight till midnight, then from one to four and that was all the sleep Frank was getting at night. Finally help arrived with both mothers turning up on his doorstep. They had only been there the best part of three hours when Detective Sommers and her sergeant Peter Gray arrived.

Frank was off the police hook for suspects, but he was firmly attached to the web of confusion. In todays world people do not disappear into fresh air, Yvonne had. Boarding a train at Central and not accounted for at any station between there and termination. All cameras on the station platforms between were working, the automatic doors could not be activated whilst the train was in motion. No bodies on the rail either.

"People do not just disappear, and certainly my wife would not either, not as you propose on purpose and with intent!"

"Please, Mr Bonnard,"

Frank interjected, "Tirel, I'm Tirel, Yvonne is Bonnard but call me Frank please, no need to explain detective, I'm just ranting, frustrated at the situation. This is just not like her, she is fastidious about work, home, life in general; a stickler for doing things the right way."

"You sound...uncertain if that's a good thing, Frank."

"What, oh no, it is not something that annoys me if anything its reassuring, a great trait, she I and work well together, perfect team."

"Controlling?"

"No sergeant, anything but; we both like things to be right, we are flexible, a plan can be altered we do that often."

Mary Sommers was a little hesitant in asking the next questions considering Franks answers so far.

"Is there any possibility Yvonne was having and an affair, we have to raise this Frank, it's our job."

Frank looked stunned, colour drained from his face, "you think she was..." he had obviously never thought of this prospect, "no, No! She was not like that she did not sneak about, upright and direct; if I was not up to it she would kick me to the gutter and move on."

"Could that be what she's done?" This from Peter Gray.

"No, Yvonne would not leave Aurélie behind if that was the case, I would be on the street in a flash, she would not risk Aurélie for some strange lust. Besides she's left everything behind! Phone, purse, all her bank cards, jewellery, even her watches. She never goes anywhere without a wristwatch."

"You saying she walked out without any money on her?"

"She may have had cash but no cards, no phone, no smartwatch, oh, she would have her apartment keys, you cannot use the lifts as you know unless you are buzzed in or out."

The police officers look at each other, then back at Frank, "have you check your bank accounts?"

He nodded the affirmative then shook his head, realising they needed him to voice it, "yes, no withdrawals that are odd, the last was one I made and it was a card purchases for weekly shopping, no cash withdrawn, the last cash withdraw was three months ago and I did that one too."

Frank felt exhausted an hour later, his head hurt, he felt sick to the stomach, the officers had wrung him dry, and added so many doubts about Yvonne, ones he had never contemplated, her fidelity was never in question before they asked. Water he decided, maybe a Panadol for the banging behind his eyes.

The mothers were in the kitchen, they both looked at him wide eyed, they had obviously overheard the conversation.

"She would never ever run off without saying or writing why she was going to disappear, Yvonne was just not like that," he pointedly looked at his mother-in-law, "you know that just as I do, never in a million years."

"What about a breakdown, you know postnatal psychosis, I read an article once," his mother offered.

They bandied that about for a good few minutes, enough to look it up online, in the end the decision was made to raise that with the police, it would be better if they spoke to the experts, the waters were muddied enough without having amateurs blunder about with every idea that sprung to mind.

"They do have a point, only there was no indication from her if she had," Yvonne's GP offered to Detective Sommers.

"But a possibility?"

"Yes, a lot of professional career women are too afraid to show a chink in their armour, but in this case I'd venture very slim indeed."

"What about her general mental health," she held up a hand to pre-empt the retort even as it formed on the doctors lips, "we are attempting to find a cause for your patients disappearance doctor."

"No, nothing comes to mind, she had not raised any issues on her last visit, nor exhibited any reason to raise concern," the doctors reply ended that line of questioning.

The hours crept into days, then weeks and finally months, the case notes slipped down the pile on the desk then into the top draw and finally into the filing cabinet. None of those touched by the case were happy about the fact the trail was ice cold, Yvonne had stepped onto a train and appeared to never get off. It just did not make any sense.

Frank learnt to take care of his daughter, a finely tuned juggling match of time and planning. The understanding of the company he worked for and a lot of good luck. The mothers had gone back to their homes and lives. The contact was still strong via telephone and the occasional weekend. Every day he would open the mailbox with hope only to close it with no news of or from his wife. By the time he reached the front door of the apartment he would have buried his disappointment and totally focused on his daughters wellbeing.

The first birthday of any child is something parents and grandparents get to enjoy more than the child. This time though it was a very reserved affair, tea and Victoria sponge as subdued as the day. Frank was not the only one hoping Yvonne was going to magically appear. Their hope was dashed on the rocks of disappointment as four o'clock arrived and the guests departed. Father and daughter found themselves half an hour later in the park, the exercise seemed to help Frank calm and in turn his mood would have a positive effect on Aurélie. Of late he would feel lost in the early hours of the morning and again when arriving home. He knew he needed to speak to someone about his loss and grief for Aurélie sake more than his own; he could not afford to drop the ball when it came to Aurélie's welfare.

The resilience of his daughter surprised him until he was informed that in all likely hood at four years old all connection to her mother had been overridden by the length of time she had been gone. Aurélie had asked why she did not have a mommy like the others at school, Frank was tempted to gloss over that and fabricate some sort of cover for Yvonne's disappearance, then decided to give an abbreviated version of the mystery. Surprisingly their daughter accepted it and continued her drawing of their happy home. The two-stick figures were easily recognizable as Frank and Aurélie.

"Why don't you just move into the 'burbs Frank, it would give Aurélie space to have a dog or cat," his work mate stated to his lament about having to turn down his daughters request for a pet on her fifth birthday.

He quickly ran through all the obvious replies hoping to snag one that would suffice other than the only reason, 'how will Yvonne know where to find us.' No, he would not move yet maybe in a couple of years, definitely not now. He knew that the likelihood of her turning up now was next to zero but hope sprang eternal in his dream world of marriage, the world that had stopped dead in its tracks.

Frank had explained it to his mother that it was as if he had been torn in half and re-joined together; one half continued to live and grow, the other half was in stasis, until Yvonne returned or was found it would stay that way, the living half of he and Aurélie would continue to flourish and grow. His mother was saddened by her sons unreasonably stoic behaviour, both she and her husband felt he needed to get out there and find a mother for their granddaughter. As far as they were concerned Yvonne had abandoned her young family and run off with a lover, a rich one at that to have just disappeared off the face of the earth.

He did not share with anyone the crazy notion that he could sense that Yvonne was still alive and that she had just...just well lost her way. He felt deep down that she had not run off with anyone, indeed he much preferred the idea she had had a breakdown of some sort and just wandered off. Naturally in his ideal world she was healthy and just living a different life...while she healed her brain or whatever; logic and a firm grasp on reality told him that was wishful thinking no different to Aurélie's current belief in Santa.

Aurélie was nine when her maternal grandfather passed, it was a sudden passing, a heart attack had him fall stone dead while mowing the lawn. The medical opinion was he was dead before hitting the ground. This raised a line of questioning of which Frank had to explain where her mother was and had she also died. By this time Frank had worked out a line of response that gave enough information about her mother disappearance without death entering the fray. Aurélie was smart enough to not buy that line while at the same time accepting it was what kept her dad going every day. You just had to believe in something sometimes even when the evidence said uh ha, that was just not possible.

At ten it was her paternal grandmother that passed away. Time waits for no one and when your time was up, it was up. Aurélie noted that her father was not as upset about that as her grandad, she had also noted he was not as happy around his parents as he was her mothers. The conversations the adults had were now making more sense to her and the realisation there was a differing of opinions as to her dad moving on. She did agree with her dad though, she had no need of a mother who was not her mother. Yvonne's mother decided to move closer to her sister, putting more distance between her granddaughter and son-in-law. She felt she was getting to the stage that independent living was becoming a chore the loss of her husband and only child leaving a void that was simply unfillable, not that she wanted to replace them; she understood Frank's reluctance to 'moving on'.

Just before his daughter turned eleven, Frank was summoned to the CEO's office. It was never deemed good when she summoned a direct report. And it was not, the ultimatum was delivered, she had a business to run not a social security club.

"Frank, directly to the point here, we need you to relocate our West coast office is not performing and your talents, skills and company knowledge is wasted here. You are also causing a bottleneck in the promotion prospects of your reports. So, you have a month and a half to get your affairs in order and take up the position," she paused looking intently at Frank, seeking the answer before he spoke.

His reply floored her she knew all about his home life it was her job to keep abreast of key personal, she was expecting a definitive No, when he simply said, "okay, I'll only need a month though."

"Right, now what do you think of Sally as your replacement here?"

He had known it would happen and was prepared to move having thought about this for some time, he would keep the apartment as an investment and he had just the tenant in mind. The discussion with Aurélie went far better than he had imagined. The protest about leaving her friends behind did not eventuate, she did raise the question, "how do you feel about leaving here dad?"