Wandavision: The Help

"Darcy? What's going on now?"

Hearing Jimmy's voice over the radio, Darcy lifted her own unit up to her lips, never taking her eyes off the TV screen. "Not sure. Wanda was talking to Geraldine... uh... Monica, and she said how if Geraldine wanted to intrude on her domestic bliss so badly, she could make her a part of it. Then they cut away to Vision. And there was a joke about soap scum that was actually pretty funny."

"Keep me posted."

"Yeah, dude, I'll totally liveblog this."

The radio blipped, like Jimmy was holding down the call button, but then went quiet like he had released it without saying anything.

Darcy reached for a carton of Chinese takeout. If only there were a way to date a guy over the radio.

***

When Vision came back into the house, he saw that Geraldine now wore a starched gray cotton dress, with a white apron to go with the white hose. For a moment, it seemed strange to him that Geraldine had a change of clothes on hand, or that Wanda would lend her clothes for no reason, or that they would fit her—but while, as a Synthezoid, he had encyclopedic knowledge of stitching and sewing, as a man, he often had very little idea how women operated.

"Vision, you are never going to believe this," Wanda said, bouncing up to link her arm with his. "It turns out Geraldine used to work as a maid. In fact, she's been looking for work, so I thought, since we have the twins now, we could use the help..."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Vision asked her. He glanced at Geraldine, who preened in her maid uniform. "No offense against you, Geraldine, but we are a particularly... private couple."

"Oh, that? Don't worry about that." Wanda rubbed his arm. "Geraldine has a cousin who's a Synthezoid."

Vision was about to ask how that could work when Geraldine piped up. "And between the pasty British dude, the Russian, and me—who would you assume is most familiar with 'black magic'?"

Vision could've sworn he heard someone, or someones, laughing, but as usual, he dismissed it as a persistent issue with his audio receptors he needed to work out. "But don't you think, if you need any help around the house, that I might suffice?"

"Of course you would, my big strong machine-man." Wanda patted his bicep. "But I know how much time you're going to have to spend at the office since you got your big promotion."

"Oh yes," Vision recalled; it seemed like decades ago.

"And Geraldine can help you out too, when I'm too busy with the kids."

Vision canted his head a bit condescendingly. "Now Wanda, I'm a grown man. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself. In fact, I can wash dishes at a rate of nine hundred and fifty-two per minute."

"Yes, dear," Wanda said patronizingly. "But there are some things that just require a woman's touch."

"Such as?"

Wanda reached down and patted his groin. "Woman," she told Geraldine, "get over here and touch."

Again, Vision thought he heard a crowd whooping, like they had all been scandalized at once, although he doubted with all the varying social mores of a diverse population that everyone would react in the same way.

"Wanda, not to be a picky eater, as it were, but uh..." He circled the wedding band on his finger, calling attention to it. "My preferences on that account are well-recorded."

"He says after he buys the separate beds." Wanda shook her head in amusement. "And here I thought you were trying to tell me something."

Geraldine was getting closer and closer—practically slinking—smoothing her hands over her dress and apron as she approached. "Fact is, Vizh, didn't Wanda just have two kids? I'd say she's done all the wifely duties a gal can do, at least for the time being. But you still have needs."

"Only to have my hard drive defragmented occasionally!" Vision protested.

Wanda glanced at Geraldine. "You hear that, Gerry? Get down on your knees and defragment his hard drive."

"Oh dear me," Vision quavered.

"Relax, husband." Wanda got down onto her knees beside where Geraldine knelt. "I'll show her just how to perform all her new duties, just the way you like them."

"And I do accept tips," Geraldine said.

"You could stand to use a different shade of eyeshadow," Wanda quipped immediately.

***

Darcy couldn't believe what she was seeing. The later afternoon sun streamed through the living room window, illuminating a tableau that could've spilled out of the centerfold of someone's dad's Playboy and filled the entire issue.

Vision lay naked on the Persian rug, his head resting on a purple bolster. His hands were clasped together on his belly as his heavily lidded eyes watched wife and housekeeper do their womanly work. The service he was getting would've driven a human male out of his mind. Even a Synthezoid was hard-pressed to take it.

Wanda and Geraldine were on their hands and knees, bathing Vision's prick with their tongues. Both sets of lips curled around his stiff red rod as they moved their heads in unison up and down. Once in a while their tongues would touch, and then they would moan the most, both at once, beyond the enjoyment they took in simply fellating him.

The gem on Vision's forehead lit up like a cartoon character having a lightbulb moment. His eyes opened wide. Darcy wasn't a man, but she was a bit of a pervert, and she could see his thought process. Wanda might be his wife, but she loved and honored way more than she obeyed. While Geraldine was his employee. And watching Mad Men had told Darcy everything she needed to know about how that worked in Pleasantville.

"Now, uh, Geraldine, do be a dear and, yes, suck it a little, if you please?"

The women stopped. They shared a look. Wanda smiled at her new employee.

"It's okay if you don't know how," Wanda simpered at her. "You're an unmarried woman, after all. Here. Let me show you."

She kissed Vision's cockhead before her mouth stretched over it, then she worked on him with relish. Not to mention skill. Darcy didn't know if she'd be able to throat that deep.

Vision's prick definitely proved he had been designed by Tony Stark. Eight inches of thick hot girth and a pair of big balls to match. Which Darcy was here for. She liked big cocks. The bigger the better. Any woman who said size didn't matter was either lying or too much of a little bitch to take them long and thick. Just thinking about that bloated cockhead made Darcy's mouth water. And she wasn't the only one.

Geraldine pushed Wanda back from Vision's manhood (Synthehood?). "Let me," she said.

Wanda relinquished her husband's prick so that Geraldine could mouth it.

"Play with my balls, Wanda," Vision said.

His wife shot him a look. "Is that the way we're going to raise our sons to ask for things in this house?"

"Please?"

Stretching out her ringed fingers, Wanda fondled his scrotum while Geraldine sucked his shaft. They switched places again and again until Geraldine knew almost all she needed to know about satisfying robot cock.

"Ooohh fuck, this is great!" Vision groaned. Darcy wasn't sure they could say that on primetime, even in the age of Peak TV, but if SWORD couldn't handle the situation, she supposed Wanda wasn't worried about the FCC.

"It could be better," Wanda replied, petting Geraldine's afro affectionately. "I'd never ask the help to be any more of a cock-hungry slut than they already are, but sometimes, you have to go above and beyond the call of duty."

She forced Geraldine's mouth down on Vision's cock until it was embracing his balls, but she needn't have bothered. His prick was already too much for Geraldine. With it filling her throat, all she could do was suck and lick at the cum that exploded out of him.

Her body convulsed as cum gushed through his throbbing length and flooded her gullet. It washed out of her mouth and nostrils, and she caught some of it with her tongue. Feeling him blast against the roof of her mouth had driven Geraldine back a few inches, and Wanda rammed her back down, ensuring she wouldn't have to worry about getting all of his seed, as it pumped straight into her belly.

"Holy shit!" Geraldine cried when she managed to stop gurgling. And after Vision had pulled himself out of her throat, naturally. "I knew they served big dinners in the fifties, but this—"

"I guess now you know why I had twins," Wanda quipped. "By the way, Gerry, I don't know how you feel about interracial dating, but here's one big plus of seeing a Synthezoid."

She reached down to Vision's left pantleg, pulling it up, then running a finger under his sock. Right around his ankle, she pressed down definitively. A moment later, Vision's flaccid prick was pumping back to life like he'd participated in No-Nut November and now it was the first of December.

Darcy gaped as much as Geraldine was. But it made sense. What could be more sitcom than a reset button?

"Now," Wanda cooed. "Let's see if you know how to wash sheets. After getting them dirty, of course."

The radio cackled, but Darcy was quick to turn it off. This was one TV show she didn't want to group-watch.

***

Geraldine had never been with another woman before, but she had also never been disgusted by the thought like she knew she should've been. It'd just never actually interested her until now. Actually seeing Vision nuzzle at Wanda's plump breasts—where it looked like all of her pregnancy weight had ended up, because she didn't see it anywhere else on Wanda's body—made her want to join in, but all she dared do was pet Wanda's firm thighs as the three of them sat on the white satin comforter of the marriage bed. She felt like she and Vision were concubines, serving some beautiful, terrible queen.

Maybe it was just that Wanda easily had C-cups now.

Being modern women, Geraldine and Wanda didn't wear underwear aside from their control-top pantyhose. The translucency showed off their hairy snatches and it was an open question whether they would take them off or simply allow Vizh to rip through them when the time came. Already they were toying with the control tops, playing the pads of their fingers over the elevated smoothness of the nylon hose.

With both Wanda's pillowy, matronly breasts and Geraldine's smaller, svelte chest swinging freely, they looked like two wood nymphs at innocent play. Only the decadent looks in their eyes betrayed how decidedly sinful they really were—growing more aroused with every moment that passed in each other's naked company. And when Wanda saw Geraldine's ample ass on display, the flesh abundant but the chocolatey skin tight and taut, she could not resist striking a blow to the ripe curvature. Geraldine squeaked and gave Wanda a chiding, yet impassioned look.

"Remember Geraldine," Wanda cooed to her, in affectionate command. "Vision's the man of the house. What he says, goes."

"Oh yes," Vision agreed, a wry grin on his face. "And if I say something she doesn't like, I go!"

"It's funny because it's true," Wanda smiled. "Vision, why don't you tell Geraldine what to do? Pretend she's a Synthezoid—maid to take orders."

Vision scratched his chin. "Well, while there's no need for me to consume pornography per se, I have done research into the sort of sexual scenarios that my wife might find pleasing—"

"And I read them for the articles," Wanda quipped.

"I've noticed a recurring theme that lesbians have quite a bit more of a handle on oral sex than the average male."

"I've never had any complaints," Wanda said.

"Yes, well, my tongue has three speed settings," Vision reminded her. "But so long as Geraldine is here—"

"And such a dirty slut," Wanda added. "Aren't you, slut?"

Geraldine nodded quickly, pleasing Wanda. It was important to please Wanda.

Vision pressed on. "Wanda, I would like to see your, ermm, take on oral sex, with Gerry here serving as your guinea pig."

"We don't eat guinea pigs in Sokovia," Wanda reminded him. "But Geraldine, would that be okay with you? I know a filthy whore like you wouldn't say no to having your pussy eaten, but it is polite to ask and I try to keep a civilized household."

Geraldine was still a bit shy—she looked modestly downward as she answered in the affirmative. Yes, she did want Wanda to eat her pussy. Yes, she was a filthy slut.

Vision could not believe his optical receptors as Wanda positioned herself so that her lovely face—smiling one last time at him—was placed directly against Geraldine's sex. He was used to only being sexually engaged when Wanda initiated things, completing the circuit of sexual desire from him to her and her to him, but now... with him only in the scenario as observer... he still felt desire churning inside him. It seemed the only way to respond when he saw Wanda's small pink tongue run out of her mouth and into the dark curls fringing Geraldine's labia. First, through Geraldine's pantyhose, and then ripping that in half to get to her bare cunt without impediment.

Geraldine, in turn, saw the subtle change in Vision's genially neutral expression. He was going from machine to male before her eyes. Then, with Wanda's skillful tongue swirling around the entrance to her cunt, she shut her eyes and gave herself over entirely to the exquisite sensations coursing through her. God, it felt so good to be a whore—Vision and Wanda's whore—their maid...

"Ahhhh!" Geraldine heard herself moan. "Oh God! YES!"

Wanda stared down joyously at the trembling pink folds of Geraldine's pussy. Her tongue went to it, tasting the bittersweet wetness of Geraldine's aroused flesh, and she forgot everything but how Geraldine's flesh roiled and throbbed in its kiss with her.

"MMMMM!" Wanda moaned, her already indistinct words muffled as she pressed her mouth close to Geraldine's sex. Her juices tasted sweet all the way down her throat, and as if beyond her control, she found her tongue trailing hungrily between the two staggering mounds of brown sugar rounding out Geraldine's hips. Its tip teased briefly at the puckered rosebud of her asshole, then slowly made its way back to her tensed lips. There was far more of her sweet, creamy taste to lick through there.

Vision could not believe how aroused he was by this fantasy, much less that it was coming true. He saw Wanda lock her face between Geraldine's convulsively clenching legs and his excitement increased to levels he had never known. He reached down between his legs to his cock, pulsing madly with passion.

Geraldine felt that Wanda's tongue penetrating into her most secret places had to be the most exquisite thing she'd ever felt, and it was even more thrilling with Vision watching. Then Wanda reached up and caressed her chocolate breasts, plucking at each hard nipple. It was almost more than she could take, and in a way, it was too much for Wanda as well. She just had to lift her mouth from Geraldine's pussy and coo to her.

"You have such a beautiful body, Geraldine... doesn't she, Vizh? Don't you like Geraldine's lovely tits?" And Wanda's full lips sank back down to Geraldine's eagerly presented sex.

Vision liked Geraldine's breasts very much. He liked seeing Wanda fondle and caress them even more. So even though he was going mad with desire to touch the writhing young woman's supple body, he resisted the urge. Not wanting to spoil the spectacular pleasure Geraldine and his wife were enjoying—or the incredible spectacle of it.

Watching, he began to stroke his engorged prick, almost unconsciously, his eyes still trained on Wanda's tongue as it delved deep into Geraldine's slit. Then Wanda floated up into the air, spinning herself over Geraldine's body while still feasting at her pussy, until her own naked sex was only inches from Geraldine's face. She lowered it down to her while her own tongue stayed buried deep in Geraldine's soaking cunt, never having left it for a moment.

"Yes..." Vision groaned, anxious to see what happened next. "Geraldine, I believe Wanda would like you to eat her too now... just... do what she's doing to you, your vagina that is—you know, with her tongue?"

He stroked his throbbing prick harder and faster, seeing Geraldine's tongue slip into Wanda's receptive folds. And as much pleasure as he knew that brought his wife, it brought him even more arousal, far too much. He couldn't wait any longer. One of those mouths he had to feel for himself, even if he put a stop to this gorgeous sight. But then, a fuck like this wasn't beautiful because it lasted...

***

Darcy ripped open the minifridge. One of the reasons she didn't like Hayward was his insistence on stocking them with only healthy foods, but she was about to forgive him for that. Reaching into the vegetable drawer, she pulled out a long, thick cucumber. The sight of Vision's fat cock had been twitching in her pussy since she'd first seen it, and now that he was about to put it to use, Darcy had to do something about it.

She hopped up on the counter next to the blaring television, hiked up her skirt, and dropped her panties. Then she held the end of the cucumber to her wet little pussy. Supporting her weight with her other hand, Darcy leaned back to penetrate herself at a better angle. It crimped her neck, but she kept watching the fucked-up threesome on Wandavision. Maybe it would make Agent Rambeau feel better if she knew that Darcy had paid for watching Wanda's revenge porn with a kink in her neck. Yeah, it was totally wrong, but it was also too damn hot for Darcy to change the channel.

"Oh! OHH!" Darcy gasped, shocked at how good it felt, the hot blasts of desire rushing along her flooding cunt, deep, deep inside her. It was sick, it was twisted, but being a voyeur or an exhibitionist or whatever the fuck this was—God, it felt a little like she was participating in it in some small way—and it was hot as hell.

She masturbated herself faster and faster, taking more and more of the cucumber in until almost half of it was secreted inside her tender little pussy. A pool of her juices formed between her legs on the sleek vinyl countertop. She looked again at the TV screen and saw her respected colleague Monica Rambeau all plastered with sweat and other bodily fluids. She always looked good, but make-up was no replacement for Wanda Maximoff's cream all over her face.

Darcy wanted to get fucked just like that. She wanted her face between Wanda's svelte legs. She wanted Vision's big prick riding into her cunt.

She drove the cucumber into herself as far as she could, grinding it into the tightness of her pussy, wishing it was Vision's superhuman muscles doing this instead of her own meager strength. She could get it pretty deep, but she knew Vision could really ream her out, really leave her fucked. But with the cucumber as deeply buried as it was going to get, she stroked her throbbing clit with her thumb.

The first throbs of orgasm soon broke over her pussy, like waves on a beach going from low tide to high tide. Darcy bucked her hips up and down, thrashing, smacking her creamy ass into the spreading puddle of her own lust. She pretended it was Wanda's juices—imagined how good it would be if her fat ass was sitting in Wanda's lap as Vision thrust himself into her. A nice Darcy Sandwich for her favorite TV couple.

"AHHH! OHHH! YESSSS!" Darcy moaned, her eyes shut tight in bliss, her lips quivering with a need for more.

***

Grabbing a fistful of Geraldine's curly afro, Vision jerked her head back from between Wanda's soft white thighs. For a moment, Geraldine was startled, then her eyes lit up as she was presented with Vision's huge cock. He shoved his hips forward, pressing his throbbing erection to her slightly parted lips, already lubricated by Wanda's arousal.