Was it Worth it?

"Ok baby," she said. "I've given it a lot of thought."

My heart rate started spiking as I wondered what she was even talking about. It wasn't exactly a calming opener. One step shy of "we need to talk." The pause before her follow-up was bordering on painful.

"I've decided I'm willing to help you indulge your dirty little fantasy... but I'm going to make you pay for it."

My stomach caught in my throat as my brain tried to process exactly what Jen was saying. Last weekend, our daily late night chat had taken a turn more sexual. We often laid in bed debriefing each other at the end of a long day. We'd talk about anything and everything in those conversations. Most of the time our chats were somewhat boring and logistical in nature. But, Saturday night, what started as a benign conversation evolved into verbal foreplay. After being together for more than twenty years, you would think Jen and I would have known all there is to know about each other physically and mentally. But I was still surprised.

I was on my back; her cuddled up beside me. Her leg over mine; my arm wrapped around her. Peaceful marital bliss. We reminisced about our recent family vacation: two weeks of all four of us relaxing relaxing together in Florida. Two or three times a year we'd gather at the same resort in Orlando. A family favorite, these trips were always my happiest days of the year.

My daughter, Ashley, had just turned 19. A rising sophomore in college, she was really coming into her own. I was struck by how much older she seemed this year. The Ashley who went off to college last fall was not the one we saw on vacation. New Ashley was a more confident woman; more bold, more relaxed, and far less shy. Perhaps it was the time apart, the physical distance, being in college, or just the fact she was literally older, but I certainly noticed her... differently.

I also noticed countless other guys noticing her. A beautiful woman in her own right, heads would literally turn as she walked around the pool deck. Not just college guys either. An embarrassing number of older guys, married guys, and even other dads would look. At least some of them had the decency to look ashamed.

Ashley didn't do herself any favors by wearing the tightest, smallest, thinnest bathing suits I've ever seen in daylight. Her immodesty never seemed to bother Jen, and I certainly wasn't going to say anything. Partially because I genuinely believe its her-body-her-choice. And, partially, because I wasn't going to call attention to my noticing how attractive and exposed my own daughter was. What father even notices his daughter in such an inappropriate way, bathing suit, or not.

But, I noticed.

And apparently, my wife noticed, I noticed..

"Did you see Ashley in some of those bathing suits? "she asked at one point in our conversation.

I didn't quite know how to respond.

"How could I not?"

"She's so pretty isn't she?"

"Uhhh... sure... of course..." I struggled. "She looks like you," I tried to recover.

"No, I mean, she's really pretty, isn't she?"

It hung in the air for an awkward moment before I felt her hand slide under the waistband of my underwear and start playing with my soft penis. Taking the not so subtle implication, I clawed for a denial.

"What!? No, of course not, she's my daughter. I would never think of her like that."

But, between the thought, and Jen's hand on me, my body betrayed me. I could feel my cock twitching in her hand.

"Shhh... it's ok baby. I'm saying I wouldn't mind if you did. She's obviously grown into a beautiful woman."

"Yes, but no... she's still my daughter! Our daughter! Plus, for fucks sake she's only 19!" I defended.

My cock apparently wasn't listening, and continued to harden despite my words. Her hand wrapped around my shaft and slowly started squeezing and pulling on me.

"Which bathing suit was your favorite?" she asked, clearly teasing me now. "I mean the leopard print one was the skimpiest... but the white one was clearly the tightest."

I remembered vividly the bathing suits. Her assessment was correct, but, I didn't respond. I did however pull down my boxers desperately freeing my hard cock as I pictured it.

Jen knew I had a kink for panties. Just talking about them could turn me on. The look, the feel, the material, the smell, and especially their proximity to the most beautiful of prizes, all were instant aphrodisiacs. But, never in my life would I have ever imagined we'd be talking about our daughter's panties, or least her bikinis. It was so deeply inappropriate and completely wrong. Yet, my shame couldn't tame my arousal.

"You know, she told me was getting her very first bikini wax in the days leading up to Florida. I had no idea she was so patriotic."

My mind raced at the thought of my Ashley getting her bikini waxed, but was equally confused about what the hell patriotic meant.

"Full. Bald. Eagle"

I couldn't suppress my groan. "Oh my God." Finally understanding what she meant, flashes of Ashley's hairless pussy beneath all those bikini bottoms flooded my imagination. Her cameltoe showing evidently beneath a few of them. Her skin smooth, soft, and flawless.

Jen giggled. My cock twitched. And her stroking got more aggressive. I was so conflicted, betrayed, humiliated. It was emotional chaos but no matter what my brain was feeling, my dick was getting closer and closer to the edge of orgasmic bliss.

"Have you ever wondered what her panties smell like?" she whispered in my ear.

i was breathing heavily, my hips lifting off the bed to fuck her hand.

"No..." I whispered pitifully. "No, she's my daughter."

Jen didn't believe me.

"Never?" She pushed. "With all your kinks. With all your perverted fantasies. Not, once have you thought of her? A beautiful woman who sleeps just down the hall from you and... never?"

I whimpered.

"If you want to cum... tell me the truth... have you ever wondered what her panties were like?"

"Yes!" I capitulated. "Yes!"

She turned over abruptly and slid down the bed moving her head toward my cock and in one motion took the length of me into her mouth and down her throat. I saw stars and began cumming in seconds. I grabbed onto her head holding her on my cock as I spurted into her mouth. I felt her tongue playing against my shaft and her gentle sucking me down deeper. I came and came.

And then came the shame.

When I finally finished, she swallowed my load before resting her head on my thigh. My cock deflated slowly, and we sat breathing in silence.

Not much else really happened that night. We just, sort of, moved on. She knew this horrible secret about me told in a moment of idiotic lust. And for days she carried on as though that conversation never happened. I didn't know whether to expect a fight, or divorce, or what. It was just uneasy nothingness... until tonight.

"I've decided I'm willing to help you indulge your dirty little fantasy... but I'm going to make you pay for it."

I don't know what I was expecting, but this wasn't it. Could this really be happening? My face must have contorted into some weird mix of confusion and excitement.

"What does 'pay for it' mean?" I asked.

"Well, perverted fantasies such as this really should be punished, don't you think? I mean, if you're going to get the pleasure from something so wrong, you should probably also sacrifice some pain to pay for your sins. Then we'll find out whether or not it's worth it to indulge."

She pulled up her phone, and after a brief moment of scrolling found what she was looking for and showed me. Displayed on the screen was an acrylic ball crusher board. Two hinged plastic square panels had a hole cut out out of the center. The idea was that you could slide the length of your shaft through the circular opening so only your testicles remained behind sandwiched between the squares of of firm acrylic. Wingnut screws connected the top and bottom panels and allowed you to tighten the hinge crushing their poor contents flatter and flatter.

"Oh... fuck..." I groaned softly, almost under my breath. My eyes widened, but my cock twitched. Jen had always wanted to try this on me, and I had honestly been too scared. Over the years we had shared countless BDSM videos with one another. Partially as indulging in our fetishes, partly as creative brainstorming. You couldn't enjoy femdom as much as we have without at least coming across some intense CBT videos here and there. It freaked me out. The actors in those videos weren't acting. But maybe this was also an opportunity. She's offering me what I could only dream of. And, I could give her, well, my balls. Wrapped up and waiting for her on an acrylic tray, so to speak.

"Ok," I nervously replied, "let's try it."

"Are you sure baby?" For a moment, the lust of our conversation was gone and she was just my wife. Checking to make sure I really understood and wasn't just horny. "It's gonna hurt."

"I know," I replied. "But, I think we both will get to try something so filthy and erotic together. Just promise me, Ashley must never, ever, find out."

"Of course, baby. This is just us playing." She grinned. "God, we're both more fucked up than I thought." She leaned closer and kissed me, the lust quickly returning. I slipped my tongue in her mouth raising the stakes but she abruptly pulled away.

"No, no, not yet," she chided. "If you're absolutely sure, then let's buy it now before you chicken-out."

She pulled up her phone again laying beside me as I watched her click "Add to Cart."

"I'm going to put this on your credit card," she teased. "After all it is for you." After another minute or two of scrolling through Amazon's checkout process, our ball crusher was ordered and processed. I kissed her again, but she stopped me.

"The next time you cum, it's going to be while using our new toy."

I grunted, disappointed that tonight wasn't going to lead anywhere.

How is it that damn near anything on Amazon delivers almost immediately these days? But when you really want something it always takes longer. Our new torture device would take nearly a week to arrive. Must literally be on a slow boat from China. The wait was agony.

But, time marches on and Saturday eventually came around. The Gods must have had pity on me by this point, because by a miracle of calendars, Ashley ended up sleeping over at her best friends house, and my stepson Bryan had his weekend at his fathers house. So Jen and I were going to have an uninterrupted night to play.

I was positively giddy on the way home from dropping off Bryan. Nervous sure, but excited.

Walking through the front door and tossing my keys on the entry table, I called out.

"Babe?" No response.

Walked through the living room, peek into the kitchen. Nobody. So I jogged up the stairs.

"Babe? I'm home." I walked through the open bedroom door, and saw Jen was, indeed, waiting for me. The bed was stripped bare of its usual myriad of pillows and blankets. Just the pink fitted sheet framed my wife sitting on the edge of the bed. Each corner of the bare bed already contained one of the under-the-bed restraints we occasionally played with. A nice discreet bondage toy that can be hidden away under the mattress until circumstances permit.

Jen was sitting on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed wearing my absolute favorite lingerie set: an oversized t-shirt proudly displaying the name of the high school my daughter attended and "MOM" in gold sparkly letters paired with her "comfy" shorts. The shorts so worn, thin, and frayed they were demoted to my-eyes-only. I don't care. She still looked hot as shit. Even in our forties she made me harder than organic chemistry without the need of a prescription.

After looking her up and down I just grinned.

"I was going to dress up... but then I didn't," she smirked.

"What the hell do I care" I responded jokingly.

"I'm sorry I already unwrapped your present." She pulled her hand from behind her back and revealed the hidden prize: our new acrylic ball crusher. My grin faded quickly. My heart started racing again. Tonight things were definitely going up a notch. I remembered the shame and humiliation of telling her the thought of our daughters dirty panties had turned me on. I was terrified it could have been a marriage-ending event. That she'd hate me. Or worse, I'd lose my kids. But after decades of such honest communication, I was relieved when she didn't react poorly and I accepted it and me at face value. Jen knew I'd never do anything, ever, to hurt Ashley. This was just a harmless thought that until now we had never acted on. I scanned the room to see if I could find anything else out about tonight. I wasn't sure exactly what Jen had in mind for tonight but indulging this humiliation was going to be among them.

I stepped closer to Jen and took the vice from her. It was definitely a sturdy piece of plastic; harder and less forgiving than I might have hoped. The hole in the center was larger in diameter than my cock, but it was the wing nut screws that caught more of my attention. This was going to hurt.

"You're severely over-dressed." I took my cue and started taking off my shirt, throwing it toward the hamper in the corner. She stood up, and came up close grabbing my belt buckle before turning her head up to me smiling. I kissed her and felt her mouth open immediately. She used both hands to pull on my belt and unbuckled it without breaking our kiss. My tongue softly explored her mouth while I felt her wrestling with the belt through the belt loops.

"You're going to smell her panties tonight," she whispered. My cock twitched in my pants as she tried to unbutton them for me ultimately succeeding and letting them fall to the floor.

"You're going to smell our daughter," she cooed. Her hand gripped me through the thin fabric of my grey boxer briefs. My dick swelled quickly and began tenting my underwear.

"Oh. my. God." I groaned.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"Yes. Please," I practically begged. "I need to know."

"I'm going to punish you for being such a perverted daddy." Her hand reached lower, grabbed my testicles, and squeezed them through the thin material. Just enough to hurt, and more than enough to grab my attention.

"I deserve it," I answered looking away in shame.

"Lay down." She pulled me closer to the bed before I switched places with her and laid back on the bed. She pulled my boxers off, tossing them to the same corner, and revealing my full nakedness in the bed. My cock already hard started heading toward the ceiling.

She began tying me to the bed. Pulling off each sock before wrapping a black Velcro strap around each ankle. Jen leaned forward, unnecessarily, teasingly, shoving her shirt-covered breasts in my face while she grabbed first one wrist, then the other securing each to a far corner of the bed. She was fucking with me but I was here for it.

She climbed off me and began circling the bed, pulling each strap tight. Enough so that I was stretched out like a giant "X" in the center of our king bed. I could move each limb, but not by much. Worry began to set in. I was locked in, horny, and vulnerable. I felt even more exposed being completely naked while she was basically still fully dressed. I could feel my breathing accelerate and pulse quicken.

With the vice in one hand and my cock in the other she worked my cock and balls through the round opening and attempted to get the top plate properly positioned. It turned out to be considerably harder to attempt with my cock already hard, but the unsexy pragmatism of her roughly trying to work my cock through the plastic opening caused my cock to deflate just as rapidly as it grew and Jen ultimately proved successful. She gently adjusted the screws in place forcing the two plates together. It was a soft, even pressure against my balls and didn't yet hurt at all. In fact, at the moment it felt nice as they were cupped by the two sides of my torture sandwich.

After I was secured, she moved around the side of the bed. I did my best to turn my head and trace her movements but it was hard given how my arms were pulled to the side above my head. But, I could see her reach into the beige nightstand on her side of the bed, retrieving what I knew would be our daughter's dirty panties.

She pulled off her top revealing her bare chest, nipples already hard, before kneeling next to me on the bed. I longed to be able to run my hands across her thighs, reach for her bare breasts and cup one in my hand, but my compromised position wasn't going to permit such fun.

Our eyes locked as she looked down on me; kneeling over me like the Goddess she was.

"Are you ready baby?" she asked. She lifted a pair of Ashley's panties over my head giving me a good look. They were primarily black with a pink pattern across them. They were, what appeared to be, a normal every day pair of panties. Cotton, worn, with the word "PINK" emblazoned across them. I had seen them before caught up in the laundry a few times.

I nodded, gulped, and tried to slow my breathing.

"Then... ask me to hurt you."

Time seemed to freeze as I stared, first at the panties, than at her.

"Hurt me," I whispered.

"What was that?" she smiled.

"Please, baby," my voice was stronger this time. "Hurt me."

With one hand on the vice she turned the left screw a full revolution eliciting a powerful response. my balls began being pinched between the two plates. What felt good before was no longer pleasant. I twitched under my restraints and moaned.

She lowered Ashley's dirty panties to my face and I forgot all about what was happening between my legs as my entire world was reduced to those panties. I purposefully talk a slow deep sniff letting her scent fill me.

I knew immediately this wasn't a game or roleplay, these were undoubtedly her worn dirty panties. The scent was faint but evident. Hints of sweat from the day, a subtle musk, and, most importantly, I knew it was the smell of her 19-year-old pussy.

"Oh my god," I groaned.

Before I could even take a second breath, Ashley pulled the panties away.

My eyes bugged out disappointed. "No, please, more"

"More?" she asked, before twisting the right screw tightening me further. The smell of her returned and I began writhing against the straps though I wasn't sure whether it was from lust or discomfort. Jen was more generous this time, giving me a couple of good sniffs of our girl before pulling them away.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"Better than I even imagined." I answered truthfully. I wasn't sure what I had really imagined, but the fresh scent of her was better than words. The saltiness of her sweat or perhaps urine only added to the turn-on. It was somehow even more intimate.

"I have more..."

She lifted a second pair of panties. Well, if you could call it that. It was the smallest piece of fabric I had ever seen, a tiny black thong. I didn't even know she knew about thongs much less wore them.

".., but you know the deal."

Before she could even finish her sentence I knew my part, "Hurt me."

She brought the black thong to my nose and held them to my face with her hand. Before I could even inhale I felt the ball crusher tighten again. I screamed out feeling a searing pain deep within my core. I never felt anything like it. I pulled against the straps and whimpered a moment and gasped. I couldn't actually smell or even see anything at first. But eventually my body calmed down a little and other sensations returned..

I was able to smell our daughter once again. Stronger this time. More recently worn perhaps. And a new darker smell. The fabric of the thong clearly was nestled deep in her ass crack. Not dirty really, but certainly more earthy. I felt lightheaded, almost high. I couldn't help but wonder exactly what she was getting up to in college. Why she wore such sexy underwear. But before I could get far in my thoughts. The panties were gone again. and I was just left with aching balls.