tagHumor & SatireWay of the Earth

Way of the Earth

byMy Erotic Trail©

Caterpillar strolled with a steady pace, one foot in front of the other, gliding leisurely through the Emerald Forest. The smile on his face revealed that he was totally content. His eyes darted back and forth from tree to tree, bush to shrub, up to the sky and down to the ground as he walked down the heavily worn trail.

Under his arm he carried a scroll, the letter from his master: Master Breaks Wind. Caterpillar is to deliver this message to the Temple of the Earth, on the Day of the Earth, upon Zen Mountain.

Cat, (Caterpillar) was in awe of the beautiful flowers, the various shades of green and the way the sun's rays filtered through the forest's canopy, projecting beams of light to the forest floor. The sound of trickling water encouraged him to lick his lips only to realize they were parched and could use a little moistening.

He approached the stream, bent down, (using; water palm technique) and scooped up a palm filled with water. To his right he caught a glimpse of something moving. He turned his head that way but saw nothing. He heard something behind him, so he turned around only to find nothing but the forest to be visible. Turning back, he knelt beside the creek in order to fill his water container. Pulling the container from his travel bag, he removed the cork and began filling it.

Undoubtedly, he saw something move to his left so he darted his eyes quickly to catch a glimpse before it vanished. There was a women, totally naked, standing at the stream's edge. She was looking at Caterpillar, smiling at him while she leaned down to scoop up a sip of water. Cat's eyes were locked on her very alluring body, long flowing black hair and what he noticed most was; she was not wearing a stitch of jewelry.

He continued to gaze upon her beauty for he had never before seen a naked woman. With his container full, Cat stood up and placed the cork in its opening without ever looking at it. She stood up and tilted her head slightly and smiled as if she approved of his fixed stare. Cat could hear his heart beating loudly in his chest as she walked slowly and sensually towards him. He was as still as the trees as she approached him closer and closer.

"Who are you?" Caterpillar asked when she came to stand directly in front of him. He placed his water container in his travel bag and slipped it behind him. Cat then fixed the strap across his shoulder, straightened his white cuffs at the end of his black robed sleeves, and ran his hands through his shoulder length black hair in order to be more presentable.

"Who are YOU?" She bellowed in return, sharp, clear and assertive.

"I am Caterpillar, a lowly monk from the Temple of Wind."

"I am called: the Naked Ninja," she said. He couldn't help but look upon her perky breasts, then down to her shapely frame and back up to her eyes that smiled as his gaze fell upon hers. He was fairly certain he knew why she had received such a name.

"Hey!" A voice came from behind. Cat looked over his shoulder to see a rather robust man running up to him. He turned to the naked lady only to find she had disappeared. Cat turned back towards the man just as he was slowing his pace, breathing hard. The man was now standing next to him.

"Hi," Caterpillar greeted the big man, looking up to him as if he were a tall pine tree.

"Hey, which way are you headed?" The large man asked.

"To Zen Mountain," Cat answered, looking directly at the man's huge mid-section that growled a loud, hungry sound.

"Is that near the Emerald City?" The man asked.

"Farther than the Emerald City," Cat answered.

"So you are going to the Emerald City, then to this Temple? I am going to the Emerald City. There is a World Championship Martial Arts Tournament there. I am going to win. Only I seem to have gotten lost," the big man confessed with a hint of shame in his voice that came out as a shy mumble.

"I will assure that you get to the Emerald City but my journey is beyond that point," Cat said. He set the travel bag on his back, adjusted the strap across his shoulder and began walking back to the trail.

"Great... I am the Great Donki Dong," the large man said as a huge grin grew across his face. He had very short hair and big round smiling cheeks, and although he walked with a slight hobble, as if he had one bad leg or perhaps an irritating foot callous, Cat had to take two steps for every one step this giant man took.

"I am Caterpillar," Cat said as they began their journey together. Cat continued to peer around here and there as if he were looking for something. This only encouraged Donki Dong to do the same, even if he did not know what it was they were looking for. Cat was hoping to catch a glimpse of the Naked Ninja. Donki Dong was in hopes of finding something to eat.

They traveled for the remainder of the day, exchanging life stories, and while Donki debated the current ratings of the top Kung Fu fighters in the region, Caterpillar seem to live in the moment, always pointing to colorful flowers that they would pass. Donki Dong was about as bright as a firefly in daylight and Caterpillar found comfort in his humorously twisted, yet humble views of life.

They found a small lake and decided to make camp. Donki Dong gathered fire wood while Caterpillar prepared his travel pack and rationed out some rice. It didn't take them long to build a fire, cook the rice, and eat. Donki looked around like a dog that was just given a tidbit and was waiting for more. Cat put his small pot away and made a comfortable spot to lay near the fire. Donki got up and walked around, tasting tree bark, grass and leaves, in hopes of finding something to tame the creature that growled in his stomach. He settled for mouthfuls of water.

The fire was dim as the two slept. Donki awoke and began yelling and screaming until Caterpillar woke up. Before his eyes even opened, he noticed that he was very warm, comfortable, and did not yet want to awaken. His eyes opened quickly when Naked Ninja jumped from his side and disappeared into the shadows. Donki Dong's mouth was wide open and trying to say something, but became speechless when he saw her fully naked body.

Bandits were waving their swords and spears around looking for any fast moving targets. "Get her," one of them yelled and another man ran after Naked Ninja only to stop and look around as if he was not sure which way to go.

"We want your coins," a bandit snarled as they circled Donki and Cat, coming closer and closer. Donki Dong jetted behind his smaller friend, Caterpillar.

"So it is true..." Caterpillar mumbled under his breath to Donki, "...Elephants are afraid of mice." Shaking his head at Donki's fearful soul in a giant of a body. "STOP, I do not wish to hurt you," Caterpillar said loudly, earnest and yet humble. The bandits laughed, about a dozen over-clothed, smelly and bearded vandals looked at each other with belly 'barrel roll' chuckles.

"I am Yellow Stripe, and this..." the bandit pointed to the man immediately to his left, "...is Black Stripe. And he is Yellow Jagged Stripe and he is Long Black stripe." The bandit pointed to several others. "We are warriors of The Tiger's Tail Clan. We are experts of the Tiger's Dripping Fang style kung fu."

"Oh yeah, well he is..." Donki Dong pointed to Caterpillar, then bent down to whisper in Cat's ear, "...what style of kung fu do you practice?"

"I am Caterpillar, a lowly monk from the Temple of the Wind. I am a humble student of the Way of the Earth."

"The Way of the Earth?" The thieves laughed even harder as they glanced upon Caterpillar; small framed and thin boned. Behind him stood the giant Donki Dong, shivering in his boots from fear, not the cold.

Just then a pale colored wind encircled the thieves, as if a tornado had engulfed them. When the fast paced blur stopped, it was Naked Ninja. She had run faster than eyes could see and (using the slip knot style) tied the thieves together with various vines, shoe laces, and long scarfs. The bandits were bound, scuffling to get free, but to no avail. She stood smiling at her catch, then turned and smiled at Caterpillar.

"I, too, go to tournament at Emerald City," Naked Ninja said with a river wide grin. In light of all the excitement and the uninvited guests in their camp, the three decided to continue on their journey, guided only by the moon's light that lit their trail perfectly.

As dawn began to light the heavens, the three found themselves on a hill overlooking the Emerald City. They stood looking down on the city from the neighboring hill as the sun came up. The beauty of the golden sunrise beyond the towers of the Emerald City had all of them in awe and silent.

Donki broke out in a run screaming, "FOOD!" His legs began going faster and faster, trying to catch up with his large body which gravity had taken over from the steep incline. The next sight Cat and Naked Ninja saw was Donki Dong going for a head over rear tumble down the rest of the hill. "I am okay," Donki yelled out as he got up and brushed himself off.

They entered the Emerald City and at Donki's request they headed for the first place that offered something to eat. After breakfast they wedged their way through more spectators than a Colosseum; for most of the town's men gathered to see the Naked Ninja. The three made their way to the Arena with a trail of oglers behind them.

"You would think these men had never seen a woman naked before," Naked Ninja snarled.

"Perhaps they have never seen one as beautiful as you," Caterpillar said to her. She smiled brightly and then gleamed as she glanced around at the hundreds of men around her in a fixed stare. They made their way to the tournament and as Donki Dong and The Naked Ninja signed up for the event, Caterpillar purchased a ticket to watch his new found friends in their quest.

The first fighter took the center ring and the tournament began. Donki Dong was one of the first to fight and a man half his size (using the Axe hand technique) cut him down like a lumber jack after a tall tree. After the match and a few hand signals, Donki found Cat and took a seat next to him to watch the rest of the tournament, spatting multiple possibilities as to why he lost.

The Naked Ninja had fought many times and won every bout. Her speed as well as her attire always seemed to take her opponents by surprise. The final two Kung Fu Warriors were announced as the crowd screamed, some with pleased yells and others with disgusted tones. Those that bet and bookies yelled back and forth while vendors shouted for customers before the last fight began.

"I can't believe it, a girl made it to the final match?" The Great Donki Dong shook his head in shame.

"Naked Ninja is very skilled," Caterpillar said. Then mumbled under his breath, "Ambition without knowledge is like a ship in the desert." (using 'rolls eyes' technique) Cat had more or less accepted Donki's blindness to reality.

The announcer screamed for silence so that he could announce the last two fighters for the World Champion Kung Fu match. "In this corner, Naked Ninja from the Hung Lo province and in this corner..." the crowd went wild with yells for their hero, their idol and reigning champion in the land, "The Champion of Emerald city, The Bull, Master of 'Stiff Horn' style kung fu."

Men continually whistled loudly at the Naked Ninja like dogs howling to be let off their chains. The Bull and Ninja squared off in the center of the arena and the referee announced, "Go!"

The Bull was big, strong and built; muscles bulged from every exposed part of his body. Ninja went into a fast run around her opponent as she always had, creating a pale colored blur that appeared as a clouded vortex around the Bull. He yelled then reached out and held his arm tightly still. Ninja ran into his arm hard and fell to the floor unconscious. The crowd screamed with delight as The Bull reached down and picked up The Naked Ninja's limp body with one hand and raised her over his head. The crowd pleaded with him to throw her as far as he could.

When it became apparent that he was steadying his stance to toss Naked Ninja, one handed into the crowd. Caterpillar spurted from his seat like a flicker from a flame, sailed across the sea of people like a cloud over an ocean, and over the ropes of the fighting arena like a deer over a fence. He took Naked Ninja from The Bull and laid her on the ground. He checked her vitals and brushed the hair from her face, gently.

The Bull was enraged, he clambered over heavily towards Caterpillar, grabbing him firmly and dragging him to the center of the mat. "How dare you interrupt my fight!" The Bull said in a raspy voice as he pulled Cat in front of him. He then held him with one hand, while drawing the other backward in a fist for a powerfully driven punch. The Bull's tight, bulging knuckles came racing towards Caterpillar.

Caterpillar spun and twisted like a twister, freeing himself from The Bull's grasp. The Bull came at Cat angrily, so Caterpillar defended himself with a volley of spinning kicks and punches with his fist as well as his elbows and knees until The Bull fell backward on the mat and never moved. Cat kicked him so fast, so many times, it appeared as though he had a hundred legs and arms. (Using; The Caterpillar legs technique)

The referee came racing up and raised Caterpillar's hand as the victor. The Bull lay unconscious. Caterpillar quickly ran to Naked Ninja's side and found her conscious and smiling with a swollen black eye. Cat picked her up in his arms and carried her from the Arena. The referee kept trying to give Caterpillar his trophy but Cat ignored him. The Great Donki Dong quickly seized the prize, and instructed that he was with the new champ, "Cat."

With this came the crowds chanting for the winner...."Cat... Cat... Cat." Some went as far as to "meow" while others turned it around and yelled, "Tiger! Tiger!"

As the three left the Emerald City, Cat carried Naked Ninja, Donki carried the trophy, the scroll and the travel bag. Donki Dong was excited and bragging of Cat's style of kung fu, "The Way of the Earth." He said it over and over playing with various ways to say it.

They camped that night, deep in the valley of enlightenment, below Zen Mountain. Cat relayed his journey was very important, and that the next day was The Day of the Earth. At the Temple of the Earth there would be a huge festival, and all were invited to the monastery.

"Even her?" Donki Dong said, as he leaned his head towards Naked Ninja, hinting of her nakedness with long looks up and down her bare body which was as obvious as sunlight.

"Yes, the key to tranquility is acceptance, so therefore the Temple does not judge a person's ways or appearance." Naked Ninja curled into Caterpillar and sank into his warmth as the cool night air teased breezes across the bold fire.

Caterpillar became as stiff as a stump that night, under the blanket with Naked Ninja practicing secret moves known only to the Masters of The Karma Sutra. When he awoke, both his hardened limb and Naked Ninja were gone.

The next day Caterpillar and Donki walked up the mountain trail to the Temple of the Earth near the top of Zen Mountain. As always, Naked Ninja vanished into thin air. As they entered the Temple through the large wooden gates and came into its courtyard, they noticed the various groups of monks and villagers exchanging conversations. Mostly, they were friendly debates about the wines, fruits, and foods offered at this festival, along with deep discussions about the future of the land's fate.

Master Growing Mound came up to Cat with a big grin and greeted him with a bulging hug. Caterpillar quickly retrieved the scroll and handed it to Master while in a fixed bow. Master Growing Mound read the document then smiled. "Come with me," he motioned and they walked away.

"Who are your friends?" the Master asked.

"This is Donki, we met on the road to the Emerald City."

"And your lady friend that hides in the bush with a huge black eye?" The Master asked with a humble tone and a rather large grin.

Both Donki and Cat looked around but did not see Naked Ninja anywhere. "Perhaps she is shy?" Cat finally answered.

"I never thought of a person whom wears no clothes as shy," the Master said with a knowledgeable smile. He walked up to the speaking stone and stepped upon it, raising him above head level where all could see and hear him.

"May I have your attention?" Master Growing Mound spoke and all became quiet. "I have here a letter from my brother, Breaking Wind, from the Temple of the Wind, that I wish to read for you," he began:

"I am sending this message via my most attentive and learned student, Caterpillar, in hopes to reach you on or before the Day of the Earth, which the doctors tell me will be my last day on this planet. Please accept my student as your own and teach him the Way of the Earth, for he has become like a son to me and has warmed our Temple immensely. I know he will fill the Temple of the Earth with much joy."

"I accept Caterpillar as my student," the Master said. "For we are all students of, The Way of the Earth, to grow and evolve in harmony with mother nature. I have witnessed Caterpillar as one who has seen the harsh ways of the world and the big city. He has been touched by love and still retains a beautiful soul. So, from this day forward, I shall call him; Butterfly. For he floats like a Butterfly and stings like a Bee. I hope all of you get a chance to greet our newest student, the new World Champion Kung Fu Warrior," Master Growing Mound smiled his knowledgeable smile towards Cat. "...before you leave this day, blessed be all... on this Day of the Earth." The Master climbed down from the rock and bowed to his new student, then excused himself for more pressing matters.

"That is so cool," Donki Dong blurted between mouthfuls of whatever he could reach off of the tables. He taste tested just about every kind of food available.

A hand reached out and pulled Caterpillar, now Butterfly, into the shadows and before he could speak his lips were being pressed tightly to... the Naked Ninja's.

"Do... Monks have sex?" She asked Butterfly with a sensual smile.

"It is the Way of the Earth, is it not?" Butterfly answered with a big grin, then began kissing her again.

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byMy Erotic Trail© 10 comments/ 17495 views/ 1 favorites

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