All Comments on 'We Loved the Silent Sun Ch. 01'

I really enjoyed readingyour story. It flows well, I also liked that you didn't just jump in with sex, you are building suspese. Great job looking forward to reading more.

with the commentor below. This story has me intrigued already

For a first story, it's very good. Watch for redundancy- repeating ideas or reemphasizing things- for example: if you write he slammed the door you don't need an adverb like loudly. If you write someone had tears in their eyes you don't have to say they were sad or touched. Adverbs are crutches. Use description instead. I can tell you're an observer- a telling sign of a talented writer.

You have great character development and you set a good atmosphere in the use of tension and timing. I'm looking forward to finding out how your enigmatic title plays into this story. Keep writing, please! I will read until the end.

Can't wait for the next chapter i love how you extended the plot and didn't get straiht into tthe sex