All Comments on 'We Need to Talk Pt. 01'

Really good as far as the beginning of his soon to be ex wife's punishment is concerned but I found the slightly incestuous relationship to be distasteful.

Other than that I look forward to seeing how this pans out. I do hope the wife gets dumped. 4 stars.

Excellent. Although I’m sure most of us would like to BTB. A follow up would be good. Excellent tale though. Nice length too. 5*

Good start. A smidgen slow moving in parts, but every English writer does that, right? Blame the weather, right? Anyway, you're in decent company with Chaucer and Milton. What I really liked was your MC pushing back on the wife, who was refreshingly lucid compared to most wives in the WNTT stories. He pushed back with the points and questions most readers shout back at their computer screens. Very tongue-in-cheek! Also, your body of work looks interesting, so I'll give those a look! Waiting for part 02! 5/5!!

Excellent thank you 😊

What the heck is this story...

Ged pimping his wife, Aryana pimping her virgin daughter to Mike.

Mike's wife a slut, then Aryana, after protecting her daughter's honor made her and daughter sluts for Mike. Why don't Mike just end this all -- divorce the slut Lis and marry either Aryana or daughter. I mean, absolute mess, after page 3 I just jumped over to comments.

'We need to talk' about your longwinded, condescending bullshit, couldn't finish page 2.

Well written and interesting. Mike being the successful happy husband and Liz being the ignorant foolish wife who fell for a cretin's foolery.

Interesting I love the irony. So the liberation and sexual high that the wife was so desperately seeking to enhance her life with was instead found and experienced by her husband. We don’t see the knockout blow coming but it’s set up with the one-two combo of “We need to talk” Which we can guess is followed by separation/ divorce papers. With little or no material assets going her way, followed by shaming and job losses for herself and her lover.

Good beginning! It will be interesting to hear what he has to say

5

Total load of bullshit, but good fun.

Very well written. Also, quite a character development. Can stand alone or have a sequel. Loved how Mike took charge and controlled the situation with the help of Aryanna. Not sure I agree with messing with people you work with. It leads to a lot of emotional entanglements. Looks like this time its working.

Waiting to see where the next installment goes.

Very well done.

That was a great first chapter!

Now Mike should just divorce Liz and get together with Aryana, who was basically better than his soon to be ex-wife in every way.

A highly entertaining read and very well written. All that spoiled it was the ludicrous mother/daughter trope and the idea that Liz would be attracted to such an utter prick as Ged in the first place. The idea that 'Our San' was on board with her loathsome husband's behaviour also tested the bounds of credibility to their limit. 4 stars

i hope you are not done and Part 2 is comming soon

One of the best stories I’ve ever read on this platform. Flawless! Very much looking forward to the next chapter(s).

Well thought out and written. Liz is so self centered and didn't conceive that things wouldn't go the way she wanted...

A little uncomfortable with the mother/daughter aspect. But good story. D

buyers remorse

Gee, who would think anyone was dumb enough to write yet another "honey we need to talk" story? The answer is obvious, onlyinmymind. The newest loser joining the pile of writers to ignore.

An awesome tale! I love how the PA took control and helped Mike through his troubles. Jas was a wonderful bonus.

Keep up your excellent writing.

Munchie184

An excellent story.

You finish this. But I don't to many moms who would allow even there 18 year old doughters to have sex with a man, let alone watch them screw the same man.

Turn around is fair play, Loved it. nice story to enjoy, good to see the hubs came out well

Great job. Keep it going.

When I see errors in the second sentence, I’m compelled to speak

As written this sentence is about sixteen students who leave school to attend college.

By simply adding a comma after sixteen, the sentence is now informing the reader that, at age sixteen, it is common for all students to leave school to attend college.

Dump Liz and marry Aryana. She is the better woman.

So very well written. great job.

Well done version of the old "wife wants to experiment with other men"-trope. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

you were honest that he was a cuck so I cant give you one star for lying

As the author noted, this is a fantasy based on an oft-used plot. It was well done, for the most part…but added little to the genre. If the next chapter arrives, I’ll likely read it. That said, I must admit that I’m not excitedly looking forward to it…as is often the case. It will be interesting to see if the author is able to bring his writing talents to bear on a more novel plot in the future.

You have crafted a brilliant tale. Yes, you warned of improbability but then that is so often what storytelling is about. I can predict what some infantile minds may wish to comment; particularly the hard core BTB brigade. Thank you for a very entertaining read and I will now embark on some of your other work while looking forward to the next chapter of this piece.

I enjoyed the story. I wonder how Liz will react now. She "doesn't think she is over it" ?? Well, there is only course going forward and that is, in the end, a divorce. I would expect to see Mike wind up with Aryana. I would like you to finish/continue the story. 5 stars.

Well written. The mother-daughter thing is a fun fantasy, but we all know it is absolutely a fantasy. While it’s easy to see their relationship was not stellar to begin with, the new cheater’s agreement pretty much dooms their marriage. And with the wife’s taste in men, I’d be very worried about STDs.

Your handle, OnlyInMyMind fits this story perfectly!

I love the story. I laugh at this part - "One's called 'Bugger all'. Looking forward to the next part.

Entertaining how Mike kept Liz off balance by not responding how she expected.

One thing kept bugging me from page 1. He had some doubts about her. Had his PI track down her ex to get his version of why they divorced. When he got the story he decided to ignore it because he didn't know the guy. He could have avoided this whole situation if he would have listened to the facts rather than deciding to marry her because she was really sexy and a good cook.

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Actually, I quite liked this story. Mind you, it did wander off into older-man-fantasy-land there at the end, which seemed oddly incongruent with what I perceived to be the theme of this tale. I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that bedding a sexy Mom and her even sexier virgin daughter, in response to your wife's first time cheating, is NOT what most men could expect to have happen. LOL

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I did enjoy the story, even though I, at first, thought the mother/daughter tag team would surely be the death-knell for this story line. Surprisingly, I think it works, kind of, yeah, so... there it is. I hope part 2 isn't long in coming, I hate waiting an indeterminate period of time for the finish to a story already published.

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The wife doggedly tried to make it work, regardless of her husband's wishes, and still thinks, if he'd only done what she wanted, everything would have been great for her first time cheating. You did well in showing her thought process and expectations; she's a very selfish person and still trying to control events that are forevermore outside of her influence. I trust she'll soon realize what a small person she's become, because of what she's thrown away. Thanks for posting. 5 stars.

Great story and very well written. Looking forward to more.. Thanks

The end was messed up. I thought, after all that, he would send the nasty slag packing. He obviously had no interest in going skin to skin with the whore after Fucking around and she did do it all against his wishes, so what's in it for him to stay married....std's?

Very well-written, and it's fun watching Mike try to deal with Sandra's crazy ideas and keep getting the better of her. I hope you'll continue and conclude this one!

Thanks, ohio

Can’t wait to see what happens next.

TK

This is my new favorite.

Good story, but it oh so needs a next chapter. 5*

5 STARS! True, you could have done a better job proofing but what the heck--this ain't professional work but it's FREE! The only thing I can see you adding is a short story about what happens to Liz going forward. Maybe she will join mom, daughter, and hubby on a regular basis... cd

Very good. A couple of comments. How did Liz's credit cards work after they were cancelled? Also, since 2010 Britain's courts do take into consideration per-marital agreements, so why didn't they have one? I wouldn't document everything, but at the least the business would be off limits. Or maybe it would make more sense to just hide the majority of it. Looking forward to seeing where this goes. Looks like Liz is interested in variety, and not a normal monogamous relationship. Mike should divorce Liz, get over it and then seriously consider a long term relationship/marriage with Aryana unless someone better fits his personality. Liz is going to have many years to regret her actions.

Very clever. Enjoyed it.

Striped animals..... don't change their stripes.

Good one!

So fucking stupid.

Dump that hoe and run off with that Persian mommy goddess! Clearly the correct choice

Life doesn’t work that way…but it should. 😁

Great story, I wonder if other people got the hunour

It was off to a good start until he sank below her level. He allows Aryana to pimp out her virgin daughter, does Aryana too and all in his home. He's at least as bad as his wife and probably lower. Her excuse would be she's just stupid. His excuse has to throw in quite a bit of arrogance. Didn't like ANY of the main characters. No saving this story.

Mike's wife is a twice divorced slut who tells him she wants to cheat on him. That is the end of the story. Everything after that is cuck shit and rebound cliche', done a million times. No likeable characters....

Mike better come out on top and smelling like a rose, otherwise there's no justice for him. Liz is the harebrained imbecile who thought 'legal' cheating would be her gift to her husband...who didn't want that white elephant gift and had been totally happy with his marriage. Only in my mind will this work out for the good of Mike! (see what I did there?) And please tell us the next chapter is ready to drop? The long gaps are becoming absolutely impossible with some stories. I am about to stop reading chaptered stories because of the long waiting periods. I am tired of wasting time rereading previous chapters to freshen my recollection of where the story was last. As of this moment-- 5☆

I sure hope that part 2 is on the way quickly! 5-stars.

The writing had a couple of minors bur didn't impact the story. I'd do think there is a second chapter, maybe Liz hitting on someone that gives her hope. I'd like Mike to start going through the volunteers.

So you jumped from humor and fell in the bucket of shit called "Loving Wives"!

Well I think you should have stayed in the other category. This one is surely "a walk among the tombstones" ! Good Luck!

There wasn’t a character in this that I felt anything for. It was all too robotic. Sorry, 1-1/2 stars.

Well done!

Great story. 5 stars. I loved it. The Bear approves. Can't wait for the next part, but if it is any consolation, he should cut his losses and divorce her and marry the P/A. She's a better catch. It's a no lose situation, as far as the Bear is concerned. Anyway, more, please. And quickly!

The BEAR

Liked the story, definitely needs a follow on.

This "We Need to Talk" story had potential. Took a couple of turns I thought were out of bounds. What started with 5 star potential ended up with 3 stars.

Did not care for the PA / Mum being ready to manage the next pussy up list among his staff. If dude is that great of a catch and hunk, he doesn't need be screwing his staff or having his PA organize it.

I won't pretend to know squat about Persian culture, but not buying what you came up with for PA/Mum who had not been laid in a decade plus and her virgin daughter. Both of them? Come on. Holding the only winning ticket in Power Ball twice in one year would be significantly more likely to happen.

I have to wonder if you respect women at all. Not one of the four named female main characters acted in a fashion that a reasonable person would find acceptable.

Hard to find people to like in this story. the wife is a slut and turns out not only he but his PA are no better. She might be worse! Taking her virgin daughter for a three way? Get real! Disgusting…

Lovely. I love how you turned it around on the stupid slut wife. She builds up her ridiculous selfish fantasy while her faithful husband keeps his mind about him and is surrounded by good faithful friends who are looking out for him. Good storytelling.

Piss poor story line. Marie’s a women who had a cheating past. Then gets hit with same story. He breaks his vows with a virgin and her mom. Yet they like this shit! This was a sad story of cheaters.

What a stupid woman... utterly stupid. It's a good story, don't get me wrong; well-written and hangs together well.

Excellent! I was sorry to see the first chapter end. And quite humorous! Very enjoyable. Hope you don’t keep us waiting too long for chapter two.

She’s done and she doesn’t even realize it.

Nope, 6 pages of straight up, down 100's of times boilerplate.

By the numbers dumb LW wife, spitting out every cliche thats been worn to a nub here.

Now lets turn our attention to the sex....as per usual (as every piss poor misogynistic writer here does) the husband has great mind blowing out of this world sex, even though stepping outside his marriage wasn't his idea and of course the wife has a completely worthless night of average at best sex with a dude thats totally about himself.

Literally not one thing new or any variations on the overused theme.

Superb. I wish/hope there's a follow-on chapter. He has to end up with the mum AND daughter.

Couldn't agree more with "muskyboy"; wife tells she wants wants to cheat on him, the story ends. I'm just glad I actually skipped most of a page & wound up at that part. Not worth the page it's "printed" on.

Look up into the sky! It's a bird, it's a plain, no, it's SuperMike, able to leap from mother to daughter in a single bound. What a pile of crap. It was okay at first, then everyone went into jump the shark mode.

Fantastic story!!! Really well written!

Can't do it; just another Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde plot. Suddenly a loyal loving faithful wife wants to become a coworkers slut? And she's throwing her betrayed husband pity pussy to compensate for her abandonment of their marriage commitment? Yeah, its all just cliche' shit from here, no matter what you do with it. Mike marries his PA, and maybe has a polyamory harem that includes her daughter? And Liz is now pregnant, natch. Or will become so with the next fucker. And maybe throw Liz some BBC, why not? Whatever path or plot device you choose, we know the marriage is destroyed. I guess you could really cartoon it up by Mike allowing Liz to become their house keeper so she has some place to raise her bastard child. Lots of possibilities, all of them obvious, and none of them original or interesting. Please, make me wrong; please. I will wait to rate the finished product. Thanks for the effort.

FIVE Stars! Wonderful story, and very well written for the most part! OK, so the basic plot was more derivative than innivative but as so often been said on this site before, "there ain't nothing new under the Sun, every plot line imaginable has already been done, in every fashion, and from every direction". But this Author breathes new life into this narrative, laced through with a good lashing pf self-effacing humour that keeps it fresh, and interesting. So, well done! Thanks!.

R.S.

I loved it. Obviously, the storyline is completely farfetched, but the author tells us that up front. I thought the characters acted consistently from how they were set up, and that is the important thing for me. I hate when characters start out one way, and then seem to act in ways that don't fit how they were set up.

Very good. Please continue.

Entertaining tale. Well-written and engaging. Thanks.

Ed

Meh. Just another a Disney story for men where he gets the younger, hotter girl, the money and his pound of flesh while the cheating ex gets shafted.

Blah, blah, fucking blah.

The wife is a lying cheating slut.

The husband is a weak willed man who obviously has a problem with saying "get the fuck out of my house". Also he is fine with his college to essentially pimp her daughter and her self?

Won't be continuing as this looks to be a long story with him humming and harping rather than decisive action. 1 *

Thanks for taking the time to pen this humorous little piece of fiction!

Very well written. Some indication of the change of scene (Mike v Liz) would make it flow better as the reader would know that the scene/location/characters were changing. 5Stars.

Liz got hers, then Mike got his. From all reports, his was much better and he should divorce the slut, marry Aryana and give Jasmine a brother or sister, or both!

Not a bad start but the characters lack depth. All their thoughts and interactions are on the surface, never uncovering who they are and what’s driving them. 4*

Who rates this drab story line so high. To many errors and facts just thrown in their and missing any reasoning. A poor excuse for a man who he found out likes to set up open marriages after 7 years. His character and story are worse than the cheater he marries. He fucks his PA virgin daughter and the his PA . This was just pure garbage. Yet in the 4s . Just nuts.

Loved it. Please continue. To all the little girls bitching.... it is just a story. Don't like it? Don't read it!!

OnlyInMyMind, thanks for the story. I gave it 3⭐️'s.

You had a woman with a pattern of behavior she repeats every six to seven years. Her husband is aware and warned. He is prepared for this, and proceeds to marry. Where is the dramatic tension❓️

Yes, you have conflict and resolution.But the story was the same as usual.

Being retired you have time to take a creative writing course. Or maybe a writers workshop.

You may have talent, but it doesn't showcase when you are on the same muddy, worn-out path as the others on this site.

Good luck OnlyInMyMind.....I'm

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AMerryman

This was really good until the mother/daughter sex thing. Kinda ruins it

What an absolute joke this was. 6 torturous, incoherent, babbling page of burning sewage...and it's only a PART 1?????

Spare us the rest of this hackjob trainwreck and drop it in the recycle bin.

His PA pimped her virgin daughter to her boss. Oh. Okay.

I hope you do continue this story. Thank you for sharing

My my my...

Seems like the reactions of your readers are all over the place--which is just about par for the course with a nuanced "Honey we have to talk story" like this. I can agree with some comments that elements of the plot had less background established than might have been helpful; also that there might have been some dithering on the part of the main character in coming to a decision about how to react to a (potentially) cheating wife. But that's your prerogative as the writer. Flesh it out with future episodes.

Of course there was some Sheherazade fantasy involved with the super-efficient PA and the oh-so-convenient (and appropriately grateful) virgin princess...er, 1st year collegian; of course there was some intimation of further incestual interaction lying in wait in the future bouts of sex coming down the pike--as there would HAVE to be more sexual interaction between the boss, the PA, and the now hot-to-trot daughter--it's too delicious to have be a "one-and-done". And of course the errant wife will want to check out more cocks, if only as a matter of pride (she couldn't let one dud cocksman cancel out HER fantasy when more cocks will, with certainty, provide her cunt with the burgeoning ecstasy she dreams of. But also, of course, the wife would find her jealous envy of the expanding list of sexually satisfied office co-workers (which the PA would make sure she knows about) will increasingly make her more desperate to do whatever it takes to get her now incredibly attractive hot husband back in her bed and fucking her again. And of course the upstanding character of the heroic husband will cause him to struggle mightily between deciding whether to give his a "once a cheater, always a cheater" slutwife another chance (perhaps with some spectacular dom/sub penance sex as retribution)...or to graciously accept the generous gifts of always-available loving consensual sexual offerings of his PA, her daughter, and the other single office females--all happily and gratefully orchestrated with finesse by the PA, with little pursuant effort on his part.

Damn! Sounds like an award-winning story series to me!!!

So get on with it and show us the way an intelligent "twisted-fantasy" writer can shoot off the fireworks!

Loved it. 10 out of 10. MORE PLEASE.

Excellent! I found the story credible. While she has done this before with her first husband, it was once. It is not a "pattern". I think his knowing about the first time and believing she would not repeat it is believable. I think the length (so far) is about right to sell the premise.

Good work, looking forward to the next chapter.

5*

Excellent story with a bland uninspired ending.

A brilliant story, what other commentators failed to get is this is a story/fantasy. But well written with an interesting plot. Looking forward to see where it goes. Thanks

A great read.

Well plotted. Well written. With just the right amount of pathos trown to make it interesting.

I can see the marriage going down the WC and Mike and Aryana making a more permanent arrangement.

Well done.

Hot story but the mother and daughter at same time is a little to twisted for me even though it’s just a story

Too many comments to reply individually, so;

Thank you to those who commented that they enjoyed my story;

Apologies to those who didn't;

Sincere apologies to those who found the mother/daughter intimacy distasteful. In another story it might have worked. In this context it was just wrong and out of character. It was an error of judgement that I should never have left in the submitted version. Mea culpa.