All Comments on 'Wedding Bell Blues'

by patricia51

Sort by:
  • 56 Comments
Zeb40Zeb40over 16 years ago
Refreshing!

Nice to see a story where the man does the logical thing and finds out the facts, rather than believing the worst and running off. I've always wondered about those stories where there is so little trust on one partners side that he(she) runs away with a broken heart before finding out the truth. This was a nice, simple story with a clever twist.---I mean simple in the best context!! Thanks. Paul

Alvaron53Alvaron53over 16 years ago
No blues here

Superb writing. As always, Patricia's prose is marvelous. The dialog is crisp, the style engaging, the pace wonderful.

<P>

The characters are real people. They don't leap tall buildings in a single bound, they have their foibles and quirks, they blunder and achieve, and they fall in love. As Patricia shows us, love means never having to say you're too stupid to live. When confronted by the impossible, Phillip does what any rational person would do: he goes to the source and gets the answers he needs without resorting to rocket science, transporters, exotic spyware or genetic engineering. Good, old-fashioned, Mark I communication, just you and me, gets the job done.

<P>

It's wonderful tale that is well-told. Thank you, Patricia, for another superb story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
You would have a great story but it simply does

not flow smoothly. I really had trouble figuring out who was who and what was what. Try working on transitions, it will help the readers. I agree the male was smarter than most men depicted in most stories in loving wives. But then again most men are actually smarter than the men depicted in stories on Lit. And in truth most women are more intelligent than depicted as being raped and falling in love with your rapist. And even some women, despite what is said in stories are faithful to their husbands, all women arent really sluts.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Great writing

The reader who doesn't think this flows well should probably read more fiction. Very well done and enjoyable. My only quibble is that the Billy character was a bit 2-dimensional. It might be better if he wasn't just completely negative. Everyone else seems very real and well-conceived.

Very enjoyable!

studebakerhawkstudebakerhawkover 16 years ago
Oh hell yes!!!!

Great stuff, Patricia51! An intelligent loving couple - wish we could see a few more of them here. Always seemed to me it made more sense to try to find the truth instead of trying to find the quickest way to run and hide. Thank you.

Gary_LostGary_Lostover 16 years ago
Great Story

A love story with a happy ending, and revenge on a jerk who needed to be taught an lesson. Just the right amount of sex and not too much violence. My type of story.

Average-JoeAverage-Joeover 16 years ago
I always like your stories

This was no exception. I particularly like stories like this when characters are smart, capable and really in love. A nice bit a balance for most stories. Thanks very much for writing.

shangoshangoover 16 years ago
The winner, and still undisputed Queen

Patricia51!!

Great tale! I LOVED IT!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
WOW

NO wimp British husband whose little three inch pecker gets

hard and starts leaking real thin stuff when he sees his fiancee making out with another man right before his wedding. In the wimp writer story the wimp would be husband just marries the slut and spend the next few years jerking off his pathetic little wiener while he watches his wife fuck man after man.

Just shows that a story can be about faithfulness and the creep gets his due instead of having his cock cleaned off by the wimp husband's mouth. Good job...keep it up...there are those of us that want to throw up over the wimp husband stories.MARRIEDWITHBALLS@YAHOO.COM

the Troubadorthe Troubadorover 16 years ago
Thanks, Patti

We can always count on you for an original, well written tale. Something satisfying!

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
composition

This story is too hard to follow and isn't worth the trouble to do so. Switching between the characters comments as presented in the story is confusing .

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Well written

Very well written and a fun read. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Well written

Very well written and a fun read. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
It is alright....but

Maybe you should have put your writing away for a couple of days and then re-read it. There are a coupld of paragraphs that leave a little to the imagination....and of course, the character Billy, he needs a little work to. But....it is great to see some real potential. Thanks for sharing your work.

Stavo

bornagainbornagainover 16 years ago
Great story Patricia51

I Loved that Story Patricia51 I`m a long time fan of your later stories when you first started on Lit and I`m glad to see you back with your great stories.

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Tedious to follow with changing POV

Retelling the same story from multiple points of view is usually a rookie mistake, not a technique of an experienced writer. I'm surprised you did it, esp. since it is no more effective from you than a rookie. And where was your editor? There is no evidence of one. Your stories are usually SO much better than this. I read this one immediately on seeing your byline.

toesmantoesmanover 16 years ago
Good read, as always

I always enjoy your writing. The only reason for a less than perfect score, is the POV writing, which sort of got bogged down for a couple of paragraphs. Really appreciated the ending though. Thanks again.

Harryin VAHarryin VAover 16 years ago
Alvaron comments are perfect

... and I could not say it better myself. great story.

but the truth is that there are very few men or women like that around anymore

zed0zed0over 16 years ago
Well Said

Great read, enjoyed it all to pieces.

patricia51patricia51over 16 years agoAuthor
My apologies

to everyone whom I confused with the POV changes. I had used this once before but I apparently took much more care in both warning the reader about them and the deliniations between the speakers. I'm sorry. I used this format so that the reader would be aware of everything going on that the characters were not, such as why Jenn's oral skilles had suddenly improved, which Phillip did NOT know and would that contribute to his confusion as to what was going on. Sometimes you just try different techniques of writing and this was one of those times.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Very confusing

I usually like both your writing and your story lines, but this one has me bewildered

peggytwittypeggytwittyover 16 years ago
Fantastic Story of two people who love each other

Just a great piece of writing! I like the trust and communicating characters portrayed here. It was just a delight to read and so well written. Loving Wives and Romance all in one.<P>Thank you for the great story and entertainment!<P>PT

Longhorn__07Longhorn__07over 16 years ago
Well Done

Thank God some of the best writers on this site are posting again. This is a fine little story about a guy, a gal, and some nasty jerks. All the necessary elements for a nice story. Thanks Patricia. We need more like this, okay?</P>

LH

SimpleGiftsSimpleGiftsover 16 years ago
Thanks as always

Very happy to see your submissions here again.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
literotica?

interesting story, and method of telling the story, but might it not be in the wrong place?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Perfect.....

The Multi-POV was the perefct vehicle for this tale. It delivered the 'buildup' in very short story form. Kudos! -Mike-

Mandy01Mandy01over 13 years ago
Very well told story of faith and understanding

I, myself didn't have any trouble understanding the connection between character views. I know I have used miscommunication as a tool in my stories. You showed me that you can still have the tension without the angst, I thank you for helping me be a better author.

You get a five for this one Patricia.

My congratulations on a new angle to a familiar scenario, I have read some, not all of your submissions and found some are to my liking and some not, but then that’s just life.

You are one of the top ten in my opinion...lol.

Amanda

RonRWoodRonRWoodalmost 13 years ago
Thanks

Good tale, and I know for a fact that there are lots of people around that trust their loved ones enough to ask before condemning...

You have just read too many cheating wife stories, Harry.

TavadelphinTavadelphinover 12 years ago
And THAT is how it is done -

Communication, loyal friends, clear thinking and smart choices - all -

Nearly perfect -

lonewolf3307lonewolf3307over 12 years ago
Another good one!

You, my dear, I've finally decided, are a female version of DG Hear with the writing skills of Slirpuff. The reason I compare you to DG is that your stories always make me feel good. The comparison to Slirpuff is because, even though his recent story ideas suck, his writing skills are unsurpassed. I'd definitely call that the best of both worlds. Take care.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Excellent

What a writer. Like DG< Slirpuff and StangStar, you are in the same class. Keep them coming!!

SigintSigintover 10 years ago
"That's what you do when you love someone, you know," commented Phillip. "You don't go off half-cocked, you don't do anything rash. When something seems terribly wrong, you go talk to them and find out what the answer might be."

You could put Loving Wives out of business if that catches on.

KarenEKarenEalmost 10 years ago
@Sigint

Love it! You are SO right!

betrayedbylovebetrayedbylovealmost 10 years ago
Nice

It's difficult to screw around with true love. Thank God it still exists.

Five Stars

DrMibDrMibalmost 9 years ago
Beautiful!

Just beautiful! Loving and sweetly sexy. He gave her the benefit of the doubt and got his reward. The heroes got their reward and the assholes didn't win. Thank you so much.

:)

impo_61impo_61almost 9 years ago
Very good story...

Very good story...Not 5* because we don't know what happened to the other woman that helped in the trying to fool the future husband...4*

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333about 8 years ago
Second time through....

An enjoyable read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

what started a good story went flat. Did not like it after the first part

Pappy7Pappy7over 6 years ago
Guess I am just an old

fuddy-duddy because I for the life of me can't see the reason for a bachelor or bachelorette party. If you haven't had your fill of being or acting stupid, don't get married. For that matter I don't understand the reason for a girls night out where they go drinking and dancing without their husbands. Same thing, if you haven't acted slutty enough or gotten felt up enough, don't get married. I don't see any good that can come from either outing. Now, maybe guys have those nights out to fuck around, I don't know. But if they do the same reasoning applies to them too. If your spouse isn't enough of a social life for you then re-evaluate the relationship and either change it or get out of it. I would think that the two of you could make enough friends to socialize with if the other one isn't enough for you, but maybe not. At least they talked to each other after the fact, even though the fiancée/hubby wasn't told about the change in plans. Didn't like it enough for a numerical score so didn't bring the average down.

StormKing33StormKing33about 6 years ago
5* Good Story

Trust but Verify before going Nuclear.

A more realistic approach not usually found in LW.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
it was decent

but he did RAPE her.

did he just dodge a literal bullet, that no one knew?

26thNC26thNCover 5 years ago
Very good

Look before you leap. That is a concept seldom seen in LW stories. Good story.

AlericAlericalmost 4 years ago
Excellent

Finally two strong intelligent leading characters. Haven't found that until now on Lit.

iameaseliameaselabout 3 years ago

Sorry too convoluted to be believable. The generally writing and story were good but the whole recording part derailed it for me.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I could have done without the perspective shifts, but this was a good story. 5

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Enjoy most of your stories; they evoke considerable emotion, testimony to your talent.

BTW, Kilmer as Holliday, in the TOP TEN ALL TIME BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR ROLE, and he did NOT get a nomination! Corruption used to disturb me, but in the past specific 16 years, no surprises remain.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

I do so love a good, happy ending. So very happy they were smart, patient, thoughtful people who had they proper faith and consideration for each other cause you know how bad things could have gone if they were they shoot from the hip types.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Pappy7, while I agree with you about bachelor/ette parties, I think you've got it all wrong believing that the only friends a married couple should have are each other. The meaning of 'Girls Night Out' has become somewhat corrupted on the pages of LW. In reality, even the most devoted spouses need a break from each other for a few hours from time to time. I never begrudged my wife an evening out with her friends where they could talk women's stuff and let off some steam and there was never any suggestion of impropriety. Similarly, I could have an evening out with my friends where we could do likewise and once again there was never any monkey business. We don't all head straight to the nearest pick-up joint as soon as the 'ball and chain' is out of sight!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

This story is my huckleberry. As for Billy....Philip says “Play for blood...That’s JUST my game!”

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

I feel Pappy 7 has been around the block a few times. “ Girls nights out” are not always as innocent, as you would believe. Back in the day, this is how it went-

#1. Get married- Honeymoon period. Anywhere from 1-5 years.

#2. Have kids- Raise them. Be involved with their lives. Do things as a family. Depending on age spread-18-25 years. Hang out with families, that also have young kids.

#3. 50-60 years of age- Become closer with your spouse. Start to plan, what you want to do in retirement. Become a grandparent, which renews your connection to your children.

#4- Retire- Spend more time with grandkids and spouse. Possibly relocate some of the year, to a warmer climate- Concentrate on your heath, and interests you put aside for your family.

You will notice, very few opportunities, for girls of guys night out. In the beginning( honeymoon stage) you will probably, as a couple, hang out with people who are single. But as a general rule, once a couple got married, their lives became about them, and their families. Considering work commitments, and then children, there is precious little time , even for the married couple to do things together. Why would anyone in love, want to waste that hanging out with friends, without the spouse? Growing up, I hung out with some unsavory characters. But the moment I got married, we moved 100 miles away for a job promotion, and I cut the cord with almost everyone in my old group. This is, pretty much, the way it goes. So if your wife or husband is wanting to see his/ her friends, the invitation should be open to you as well. Not because you have to, but because you want to-Hey it works- been married to the same very special woman since 1985.

4 stars.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

An example of how an intelligent, thoughtful person responds to unexpected, unpleasant situations.

AA82ndAAAA82ndAA7 months ago

I just discovered your stories. I didn't anticipate you would have a new vein to an old theme...but you did. Thanks For Sharing...

Jalibar62Jalibar625 months ago

The "Johnny Ringo" quote is perfect. I also like that Phillip talked to his friends and fiancée instead of just running out on her, cutting her off and never speaking to her, as happens in so many LW stories.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

An actual loving wife in the LW category is surprising enough. But then even more so is a husband that didn't overreact to apparent evidence of his wife cheating and instead behaved logically and talked to her and his friends to get to clear up the situation. What a ride!

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous