Weigh-In

Weigh-in Project

Teaser: 4 Coeds consider research project participation

Characters:

Rosie

Lynn

Lola #1 Candidate

Christina

The 'Fee' = $100 per subject

"You must be kidding!" Rosie said.

"Yeah, it's gotta be a fraternity joke!" Lynn said to back-up her best friend.

"I don't know...," Christina said.

"What say we go find out, huh?" Lola said, a hint of jest in her voice.

"Well, not me," Rosie said. "I'm not having anything to do with something like that."

"Why not? You're just chicken, that's what you are. You shouldn't be. You got better tits than 90% of the girls on this campus."

"Just the same, it's not going to be me, that's for sure."

"Well, I'm going to find out anyway. It's probably just somebody fooling around with body mass index values, BMI, you know."

"Oh yeah? What are those, anyway?"

"A few years back the government came up with this number, and now the whole medical profession is supposed to use it in their annual Medicare evaluations. The formula squares your height and divides it into your weight. Even a freshman physics student knows that's all whooie. If you're measuring weight, it should be a cube factor instead of just squared."

"How you mean?" Lola said.

"Weight usually goes up by volume. Volume is a cube function, not a square."

"Oh, you mathematics types! I can't stand you."

"Well, think about Rosie's breasts. They sure aren't flat--which is what they'd be if they were only a square function. Neither are yours, Christina. Nice, and certainly not flat or two dimensional."

"So? What about this advertisement?"

"I'm going to find out who's behind it."

***

"Yes, Miss?" The rather handsome, possibly grad student, sitting behind the desk at the room's entry door said.

Lola laid the flyer on the table in front of him, and put a questioning expression on her mouth."This."

"Like it says. Several of us grad students are doing a research project. Interested?"

"Depends."

"Upon what?"

"Well, what's involved. What would I be signing up for?"

"Let's see." He looked puzzled, like he's never been asked this question before, then shuffled a few sheets of paper around on the desk before looking up. "We are attempting to correlate breast mass with body mass so we can get a cross-over index factor."

"Why?"

"Well, you know about the Body Mass Index, right? This will be sort of a breast-weight-to-body-mass index. We expect it to be more accurate than Body Mass Index--and better used for some purposes."

"Why?"

"The government, actually the CDC, wants to use our numbers to determine an index number that predicts whether a girl's breasts are 'normal' for her body size--or not. No one has ever done this before. Can you can believe that?"

Lola just looked at him. Was he bull-shitting her, or what? Any boy could tell from 100 yards away if a girl's breasts were big enough to interest him! Her response must have shown on her face.

"Simple as that," he said with a quick shrug and shake of his head

"And?"

"We weigh you breasts, then weigh and measure your body. Simple as that. Then we'll plug those numbers into a couple formulas we've worked out, get some life-style data from you, and you walk out with $100 dollars in your pocket."

"And what if my breasts don't measuer up big enough?"

He leaned back in his chair slightly, gave her a quick elevator evaluation, then nodded. "You should do just fine. In fact, I'll be glad to be the one doing your measurements."

"Oh no, you don't!"

"Just offering--so you'll know right up front who you're signing up for."

Well, what could she say? He did look promising. (Plenty of medium-dark hair with a little curl to it, a killer smile, and clean shaven so you could see his down-right attractive face.)

"I'll have to think it over."

"Please do. We have space in the program for three more subjects, should you have friends who'd like to help out. Remember: It's $100 each."

"Don't count on it."

***

"Sounds pretty flaky to me," Lola said, looking at the others as if hoping someone would help her talk herself out of it this little adventure.

"Sounds interesting to me," Christina said with a hint of a giggle.

"Not me," Lynn said. "I still think it's a prank. I'm not having anything to do with it."

"The guy I talked to seemed sincere and did look kinda cute. Like he said: there's only room in the project for three more subjects."

"You sound like you might go for it, Lola?"

"I might... if I think about it long enough. I could use the $100."

"You think, and I'll think, too, Lola. Maybe we could go over there together--you know--and check it out more." Christina's voice had taken on another giggle or two.

"You just want the $100, Christina."

"Sure, I do. But Lola? This the guy you talked to was at least a little bit good looking, right?"

"Sure, good enough I wouldn't mind him weighing my titties."

"Lola? If my breasts were big as yours, I'd want any guy with two hands to weigh mine, no matter how he looked. You're so lucky."

"Well, I've seen lots of guys I don't want weighing mine," Christina said.

"Yeah, lucky, that's what you are. You got plenty you can be picky."

The dorm room went silent for a moment before any of the four gave a further hint what they were thinking.

"Well?" Christina said. "Are we going to get our breasts weighed or not?"

"Now you're just bragging, girl."

"No, I'm not. "I'm just...."

Already Rosie, Lynn, Lola, as well as Christina had gathered their coats, all four hoping the project administrators would relax the +3 subject limit Lola had already been told. Wasn't this all in the name of scientific research? And for the medical good of the human race? The good looking, dark-haired, grad student doing the pre-interviewing had nothing to do with their choice..

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