Weird and Wonderful Ava

With my newfound horniness, one late night in my room I was browsing the web for porn featuring girls that looked kind of like Ava when I ran across a video for VR that looked especially promising. It occurred to me that there was a VR headset down in that basement, and a system that could connect to the internet. I checked to make sure there was no light coming from the girls room and decided to head down and see if I could call up a little more realistic boost for my fantasies.

I'm sure my old system wasn't the latest and best, but for my needs it seemed to be working out pretty well. I had no problem calling up the video. The slight 3D effect, POV action, the voice of the actress and sounds she was making delivered directly into my eyes and ears was a bit of a thrill. She really did look kind of like Ava and she clearly knew how to suck a dick. I took my pajama pants all the way off. I took my shirt off too as I submerged myself into the fantasy, trying to mirror the movements of her hands and lips as I stroked my cock to the video. I watched it all the way through once and then started it again so I could time my orgasm to coincide with the money shot. I was totally focused on "almost Ava" working on "my" dick. My cock was big and hard and just about ready to pop when suddenly I heard a sneeze.

"Achyoooo!"

I quickly reached for the headset and tore it off.

"Sorry!" I heard a voice as I turned to see legs running up the stairs behind the couch. From the voice alone I couldn't be sure, but I was pretty sure I caught a glimpse of tangerine-colored shorts that I knew belonged to Ava. And the legs had been shorter too, and shapely. Definitely Ava. I sat in stunned silence and pondered what to do.

"Well...shit." I think I actually said it out loud. Meanwhile, a tiny voice spoke to me from the headset on the couch cushion beside me.

"Cum for me baby. I want your cum," the voice said. But my dick was rapidly deflating as fear crept over me. I was afraid I'd fucked it all up, with Ava, with Anya, with everything. I turned the system off and sat there, naked in the silence, completely dejected. I probably sat there for a good 15 minutes before I finally put my pajamas back on, turned out the lights, and slunk back upstairs.

Ava was back in her room and the lights were off. Anya was there too, so there was no use trying to talk to her now. At least if they weren't in there talking it out, or crying, or packing their bags, then she probably hadn't told Anya yet. At least there's that. At least I had until morning. But what should I say? How should I play it? How would she play it? I laid awake thinking about all the possibilities.

After a few minutes I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad. This was my house. She was adult enough to know that people masturbate, and even if she didn't know what she was going to find when she walked down those stairs, it seemed like she might have been standing there watching, for at least a little while, before the sneeze had announced her presence. What were the odds that she'd sneezed immediately, as soon as she realized what was going on? That didn't seem too likely.

Still, it seemed like my safest course of action would be to apologize, apologize to Ava as soon as I can and hope she doesn't tell Anya. I may have been technically within my rights but still, apologizing seemed like it gave me the best chance for preserving our current living arrangements. I was hoping the relationship between Ava and I, such as it was, might not be totally, irreparably harmed.

I didn't sleep, so I was up early. Ava stayed in her room while Anya got up and left for class, then she came out to face me.

"Ava, I'm so sorry!" I said immediately, before she had a chance to speak. "I shouldn't have subjected you to that. There are public spaces in this house and private spaces, and I had no right to do that in a public space where you might see. I am sincerely sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

"Forgive you? I mean, it's your house. I mean...I don't know what I expected to find. I woke up. I heard a noise, and I went to check it out...I know guys do that. I know guys watch porn, even older guys. I shouldn't be surprised. I know you don't have a wife...it's fine. Really it's no big deal." She paused. "And it's my fault too. I should have turned away and left immediately as soon as I figured out what was going on, but I didn't."

"Oh? How long were you there?" It was the obvious question. I was genuinely curious, and not least because I saw there was the possibility this might take an interesting turn.

"I don't know. A while...I'm sorry" Ava was clearly embarrassed, she was talking quietly and her shyness was definitely showing, "I...I've seen porn before but I've never...I've never seen a real one in person like that. And I guess...I guess I was kind of stunned...and curious. I was curious too." She paused and took a deep breath. "I wondered if you were going to shoot your cum, and I was curious to see that."

Wow! she got those words out. Speaking to me she got those words out! "It's OK," I said. "It's only natural to be curious. It's biology. It's human nature to be curious. You can't control it. It's the most natural thing in the world."

She'd come this far, and I could see a dam was starting to break. "Dan, I have to tell you something: I like you. I really like you. I feel safe, I feel comfortable with you, like I've never felt with anybody else. Last night gave me a chance to think. I really thought about it a lot. You know a lot of things aren't easy for me. But with you I feel like it's possible."

"Like what's possible?"

"I was hoping you would help me." Ava spoke very softly. I had to struggle to hear her. She was shy. She was scared. But she was also brave, and never more adorable than she was in that moment.

"What do you mean?"

She swallowed hard again, my brave girl. "I mean show me stuff. Sex stuff. Teach me. Let me practice with you. I don't want to be a virgin for the rest of my life. But I need some help. Don't make me beg, Dan. I know you want to. I've seen you looking at me."

"Oh my God, Ava! Of course I think you're beautiful. I think you're amazing. Of course I'm attracted to you. Any man who got close enough to see the real you would be crazy not to want you. But there are a lot of differences between 20 and 60. I've been 20, and I've been 60. I know. Don't you think It really would be better with a boy closer to your own age? It really should be with a boy closer to your own age. You've just gotta find the right one, is all."

"No. I don't want a boy my age! I never have. They don't interest me. I've always been attracted to older guys, always. I don't know why. I used to think that made me some kind of freak. I'd get wet for George Clooney or Harrison Ford or someone like that, but never for anybody close to my age, and never for anyone I knew in real life. Never, until I met you." The emotion grew in her voice. She got louder, and stronger as the tears started to well up. "I don't fit in with people my age, only Anya. She's the only one. And I don't want to have sex with anybody else. I want to have sex with you!" She broke down. The emotion was too strong.

I stepped in to hold her. She sobbed against my neck as I held her closer and more tightly. "OK. OK. If you're sure that's what you want, I promise I'll try my best to help you. Somehow, we'll find a way to help you." In my own mind I was still thinking maybe we could stop short of actually having sex, but I did sincerely want to help her. And then the selfish me entered the picture, and it occurred to me that my fantasies could come true. "I just hope you don't hate me someday for taking advantage of you."

"Never! Never! I swear it." She was resolute. "I know what it looks like. I know what other people would think if they found out. I don't care. It's not like that. It's not like that at all!"

I pulled away to look her in the eye. "Ava, you're so wonderful, I don't think I can ever say 'no' to you!" And then the moment got the best of me and I kissed her. Her lips were warm, soft, willing, delicious. She kissed me back and I could feel the emotion overflowing out of her and into our kiss. If I hadn't known before I knew right then for sure that I was falling in love with her. As crazy and improbable and yes, wrong as it seemed, I was falling in love with a girl 40 years younger than me. I was embarrassed, ashamed of myself, and also helpless. I guess you're never too old to be a fool when it comes to love.

As we broke our kiss she was breathing hard. She looked at me wide-eyed, then grabbed me by the back of my head and pulled me in for another, urgently, hungrily. This time she also brought in her tongue. As I closed my eyes and surrendered to the feeling, I was 20 again, or maybe better to say I was ageless, and so was she, just a boy and a girl meeting together somewhere in space, united by a kiss.

Holy shit! I thought. My life is gonna change! This is gonna be one wild ride!

Of course it didn't take very long before I started to think of Ava as the best thing that ever happened to me, as a gift, a blessing beyond my dreams that I could never hope to deserve. In the days that followed that first kiss I was deliriously happy! I felt silly, foolish, and at the same time it was like 40 years of pain had been lifted, like all my years of suffering and loneliness was just the price I had to pay to earn this golden opportunity. It wasn't just the thought of having sex with a beautiful young woman, even more than that it was the way she smiled when she looked at me.

If we're being honest, I also had second thoughts. A little voice was telling me this was not a wise move, that it could be harmful for Ava's mental health, that there was the risk of doing real damage. I worried about what Anya would think if she found out, and how that would damage my relationship with her, and the rest of my family if they found out. But on the other side of the ledger there was the incredible freight train of my desire. I wanted her so badly I felt like I was insane! I knew that this was almost certainly my last and only chance to have sex with a woman this young and beautiful, who wanted to have sex with me! Ultimately I was powerless. We think we are creatures of reason, but we're only deluding ourselves.

It wasn't just me acting like a crazy puppy. Yes, Ava was happy too, maybe even as happy as me, if that was possible. We hadn't even had sex yet, hadn't done anything more than kiss, but the promise of a burden lifted and adventure to come seemed to transform her. She was giddy. Anya noticed right away, of course.

"What's come over you?" I heard her ask Ava. "Are you high? Did you take happy pills? What are you on?"

Ava just laughed. "I'll never tell!" she teased, and then she laughed some more.

"Well can you at least give some to me? Jesus!"

Ava just laughed, eyes sparking with fun. Ava, yes Ava of all people was positively vivacious!

Anya may have noticed Ava's change first, but it didn't take long until she noticed mine too. "Good God, is there a gas leak in here? What the hell is going on?"

"Ava's mood must be contagious!" I joked. "What's wrong with you, Miss Sourpuss?"

The truth was too strange for Anya to suspect, at least not yet. She was sure to catch on eventually though. I still wasn't quite sure how we'd handle that.

In the meantime, Ava and I had to figure out next steps. How would we begin our lessons, our tutoring sessions, my showing her the ropes? I wasn't quite sure how best to think of it. We didn't really have much opportunity in those first couple of days. As luck would have it, Anya was home most of that time, and I had work. Ava had school. I did have quite a bit of vacation time saved up, though, and I was already planning how I was going to use it. I prepped my boss that I might need to take a few intermittent days on fairly short notice.

We didn't have to wait long, although it seemed like forever. Anya's boyfriend asked her to go away for a beach trip the next weekend, and to make it a long one. They were going to take off early Friday and return Monday night (she would only miss a couple of classes). Perfect.

Ava and I did have little opportunities to talk here and there. We even had a couple of hours alone twice while Anya was in class, but we wanted more time than that. We didn't want to rush. There was no need to rush. We both agreed that we wanted to be able to take our time and explore at Ava's pace, as Ava was ready, or not, and without any pressure from watching a clock. A four-day weekend would be perfect.

In our talks we did cover some important ground. I still wanted to make sure she was certain about this. At one point I even let drop that it would appear to anyone who found out about us that I had been "grooming" her.

"You're not grooming me!" She said it with conviction. "The fact you tried to talk me out of it, and since then you keep giving me multiple opportunities to back out, only proves, in my mind at least, that you're not trying to take advantage. You're perfect for what I need right now."

"OK." It's true I was giving her opportunities, but I had certainly given up on pushing her away very hard.

"Besides, I told you I was always into older guys. You want loaded terms? How about this one: I think maybe older guys are my kink. You wouldn't try to kink shame me now, would you?" She was very pleased with this little counterpoint.

"OK" I laughed. "OK. You win!"

"Good!...Oh, and another thing I thought of...that video you were watching when...you know. That girl...did she look like me?"

"Guilty," I confessed. "You got me."

She was triumphant, almost gloating for a moment, then she softened. "Maybe you'll have to show me that video. I think I'd like to see it, see what you want me to do to you." She smiled wickedly, teasingly. I could really sense her excitement breaking down the walls of her shyness. She was showing me a side of herself that nobody else had ever seen, maybe one that she didn't even know she had herself.

It was good that we had some time to talk about it before we did anything. Good to make sure, yes, but also good because it really opened the doors for some honest communication. Never before had I ever talked with a woman that much about what we were going to do before we actually did it. But I realized communication about sex can sometimes be the hardest thing in a relationship.

By setting the stage for all this communication up front, we were laying the foundation for a solid, honest relationship between us, however it turned out. I still wasn't thinking I had any realistic prospect of staying with Ava for the long term, that would be too much to hope for for me, and too restrictive for her. But it occurred to me that we might be together for awhile, at least, and that by setting things up this way in her first relationship, we could be setting a pattern that would serve her well for future relationships, whichever turn her life might take.

Another nugget from our preparatory discussions: "My mother never had an orgasm," she revealed at one point..

"What?" was all I could think to reply, then, "Wait, how do you know?"

"She told me one night while she was drunk, just blurted it out. I was helping her into bed. She just looked at me and said, 'I never had an orgasm. Isn't that terrible? I always faked it. We should talk about sex. We should have the mother-daughter talk about sex.' That's OK mom, I told her, not knowing what to say, then she told me she couldn't even cum from getting eaten out, and she hated blowjobs too, always spit the stuff out. Then she was quiet, rolled over, and passed out. We never spoke of it again. That was my mother-daughter sex talk."

"Jesus, Ava! I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, you see...there's reasons I'm kind of fucked up."

"You're not fucked up. Your path is just a little different, that's all. And we're gonna make it better. You are not your mother. You're not even close. Together, you and I are gonna make sure it's better for you."

"I hope so. The strange thing is, I believe you. I believe that's why you're perfect for me." She was so sweet. My heart broke for the way she'd been raised. She had deserved so much better. "Oh," she said, " I just remembered. My mom did talk about sex one other time. When I didn't want to go to prom she asked me if I was gay."

"Oh no! Ava, that's terrible."

"I know people sometimes think I'm gay because of the way I dress and because I don't chase boys, but I'm not of course." She laughed softly to herself. "Far from it as a matter of fact. I just didn't want to be anything like what she wanted me to be, Miss prissy pretty perfect, faking my way through life and lying to everybody all the time, even lying to myself." Ava was so composed as she said this, calm, self-reflective, mature. "As I look back on it, I think there's a good chance it's her that's secretly gay, and she probably can't even admit it to herself. All her slutty lying bullshit was just acting out driven by self-hatred."

"Could be," I agreed. Ava was perceptive. "You might be right about that. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised."

"I'm definitely not gay, though. Definitely. I want to show you something." She got up and walked back into the bedroom. A few seconds later, she came back with a sketchbook. She set it down on the table in front of me. "Open it," she said.

I opened the sketchbook and started to thumb through it. In the first few pages there were sketches of flowers, plants, trees, the usual stuff, and then a couple of sketches of Anya, one reading a book, one where she seemed to be arguing animatedly. They were good! She had talent! Then there was a sketch of me, standing over the stove flipping pancakes, and another one of me, mowing the lawn. There was one of just my face, staring directly toward the artist like a portrait. I hadn't posed for any of these. They were very flattering, more flattering than life, in my opinion. She must have drawn them from memory! I turned the page.

The next sketch was just an erect penis, and then more erect penises, from different angles, fairly close, some with torsos, but always as an observer might see them, an observer whose next move might be to take that penis into their mouth, or to let that penis penetrate her in the missionary position. About halfway through the book I saw the most recent sketch. It was clearly of me, on the couch in the basement from the angle she would have seen from the stairs, with my hands pushing down around the base of my dick to stretch it out and up to maximum free-standing length. That part seemed flattering too.

"Oh My God!" I said to her, and then I smiled. "Ava these are terrific! All of them! You've got real talent!"

"Thank you." she said softly. "I was hoping you might model for me, especially those last ones. I'm really looking forward to understanding that part of anatomy a little better."

"I think I can help with that," I replied with a smile. These drawings were certainly a nice surprise!

"I think about it all the time. ALL the time. It's like I'm obsessed!"

"Oh My God you're amazing!" I kissed her. Even the kiss couldn't wipe the grin off my face.

Obsessed with my cock, My God could this girl get any more perfect? Well...more perfect only if somehow it would only be my cock, and not just any cock. But still, that was going to be up to her. All protestations aside, I still had to be responsible, and mature, and not take unfair advantage. It would be only natural for her to be obsessed with my cock at first, but I was only too aware of how feelings could change with time. My relationship with Ava already felt more passionate than my relationship with my ex-wife ever had, but I was divorced, after all. I knew only too well that sometimes feelings change, for a multitude of reasons.