by HanJo69
This work could become chapters very easily, some smoothing would be needed to maintain your quality of writing that is there and allow things to come together in a more natural way. The potential for several chapters is very evident and quality with the writer's patience with pacing!
BRAVO!!
The first part you brought details out of who they were but as the story went along the details became a non factor. Way too quick for them to have sex.
A great beginning as I wrote but too fast thereafter.