We'll Go No More a Roving

It had a beautiful and roomy quarter deck that is extremely public. I hoped that would dispel any of Jane's notions about my motives. The ambiance was also pleasant in a good clean nautical way. It was the best neutral ground I could think of and it was not far from her place.

She was standing outside when I rolled up in the Mustang. I thought, "Hmmm, Doesn't even want me to darken her doorstep."

She was dressed for business, not pleasure - literally. She was wearing one of those classic worsted grey pantsuits that all of the no-nonsense women in corporate America favored. It was topped off by an extremely expensive white pure-silk blouse with the big bow that substitutes for a tie with a woman.

I read her message loud and clear. "I am a totally sexless creature, so no hanky-panky." But even dressed like Hilary Clinton she couldn't disguise those hips and that perfect round ass and her panther-like grace as she climbed in.

I had the top up on the Mustang because I wanted to make a statement myself, which was that I was not on a joy ride. Both of us were nervous so we limited the conversation to general observations about the weather during the short trip across the Schuylkill.

She had not asked where we were going, and she was surprised and looked more than a little irritated when a short time later I parked at the Dave and Busters that fronts the marina. She was NOT a Dave and Busters kind of girl.

I had packed breakfast in a small hand basket, just a thermos of Earl Grey and some scones with a container of clotted cream and the Dundee Orange marmalade I favor. I popped the trunk and took it out. She looked at me quizzically.

We proceeded through the marina gate without talking and stepped onto the dock that fronts the slips. That was when she figured out where we were going. She said in a really angry tone of voice, "I'm not going out on a boat with YOU."

I said, "I know that. It was just that there was no way you would be willing to come up to my place and I hate coffee shops. So, THIS seemed like the best neutral ground." And with that I gestured to the quarterdeck of my boat. It was the first time that I had known Jane that she actually looked delighted.

We stepped down into the cockpit, which in an NA 40 is pretty roomy, and I began laying out the cups and scones and pouring the tea. She watched my preparations with an amused look; sitting with her legs tucked gracefully up under her on the port side navigator's bench.

When I was done, I handed her a steaming china cup and hitched the taller helmsman's chair over to the table in front of her. I said curiously, "So what do you want to talk about?"

She looked flustered then said with a nervous laugh, "What? No foreplay?"

I told her that I was neither smart enough, nor sophisticated enough, to beat around the bush with somebody like her. So, would she please tell me what the problem was, thinking to myself, "the ball's in your court sweetie pie!"

She looked pensive. I thought to myself, "She really has a beautiful, wide, sensual mouth." Then the words came tumbling out.

She said, "I've felt like there was something very special between us from the second that we met."

I thought, "No Shit!!"

Then she said, "That's why I can't understand why you've been such a total asshole to me."

I knew exactly what she was talking about, in terms of the "special" part, but "ASSHOLE"? So, I said rather heatedly, "I felt the same absolute connection, but I don't understand why you thought I treated you badly. Explain THAT".

She was really getting into it - angry now. She said, "You were cold. You ignored me and you talked down to me every chance you got. I know I'm not a professor, but I'm not STUPID, and I will not be condescended to, no matter how much smarter and more sophisticated you think you are."

So, there it was!! She was undeniably correct. That was exactly how I had treated her.

My inner self was throwing things around in my head and yelling, "I hope you're happy you fucking moron! You acted like a patronizing d-bag because you didn't have the balls to tell her how you REALLY felt about her."

That explained all the hostility and acting out. It as pure resentment. Jane felt belittled. So, she was making the point that she had plenty of other men in her life. She didn't need me. It was perfectly logical behavior. That is - if you're a female.

But she couldn't keep up the pretense. So, she'd mustered her courage and called me. That took guts.

Forget witty comebacks. I knew that I would never be able to live with myself if I didn't tell this brave little woman exactly how I ACTUALLY felt about her.

I said, "I have never come close to experiencing anything like the way I feel about you. And I have felt that way since the moment I laid eyes on you. To me you are the epitome of everything I have ever wanted and desired in a woman."

I looked her directly in her big intelligent eyes and added, "If I was disrespectful to you, or was not as forthcoming as you wanted me to be, it was because of what you do to me. I want to be with you like I have never wanted to be with any other woman in my life."

D'oh!! That was a stupid thing to say - honest yes - but an utter romantic faux-pas. I expected Jane to go stomping back up the dock. But instead she flopped back on the bench like I had hit her.

I truly believe that the species wouldn't have survived if it weren't for women. Men are just too simple minded. I was a full ten years older. I had been an army helicopter pilot and everything that needed to be said had now been said. Yet I was still sitting there with my head hanging down like an embarrassed eight-year-old.

So, Jane took the initiative. She thought for a couple of seconds and then pushed decisively off the bench, walked around the table, took my head in her beautiful little hands and laid a kiss on me that had steam coming out of my ears.

I stood up still kissing her and embraced that magnificent body, hanging on to her like she was the only thing keeping me from falling down a very deep and dark hole.

People talk about skyrockets going off when you kiss the woman you are destined to marry. That didn't happen to me. Instead it felt like all of the missing pieces had suddenly and irrevocably clicked into place and I was whole for the first time in my life.

I pushed her back, looked at her lovely face and saw that she was crying and even shivering a bit.

Emotion is a funny thing. It comes in a lot of contradictory forms. You can laugh bitterly when you're angry and when you are unbelievably happy you cry. And men don't come close to the emotional depth of your average woman. Jane was no average woman and I could see the major forces that were bouncing around inside her.

I had not planned any seductions and frankly I wasn't sure what to do next. The obvious step was the cabin with its double-wide bed. But although every fiber in my body was screaming to seal the deal, I didn't know how she would interpret that move. So, I hesitated.

She looked amused and said, "Does this place have a bed?" Aye, aye skipper!

We more-or-less fell through the cabin hatch, with me tugging her coat and big silk bow off as we stumbled along toward the bed. She was agitatedly yanking at my belt.

The NA 40 has hull mounted bunks for serious racers, but I had converted mine so that there was a relatively large bed at the end of the galley up against the forward sail locker. We both had dropped our shoes as we fell into it.

I had unbuttoned most of the buttons of her silk blouse by that point. Her boobs in their fancy lace bra emerged. I gazed at those wondrous peaks like the first white man who had ever seen the Himalayas, fucking awe inspiring!

She shed her blouse and reached frantically behind her to unsnap her bra. I am glad she did because there were at least two extra hooks on the thing. I wouldn't have known where to begin. What fell out were two of the most beautifully shaped breasts a woman has ever possessed; huge, firm and very high- riding on her chest.

The nipples were something special, big and brown and rock-hard. I took the time to worship each one individually, licking and nipping, which gave both of us the opportunity to clear the decks below.

We were now completely naked, and I was on one elbow next to her gawking at her perfect body. Her wide hips screamed womanly with both hip bones and her mons jutting an amazing distance above the plane of her belly.

Her legs were incredible, full and muscular and perfectly shaped with every muscle group clearly defined from her hips down to her feet. But it was her face, now totally lost in her own desire that turned her exceptional beauty into something far beyond perfect.

I moved between her legs which she gracefully raised off the bed to the classic fucking position. As I did so I could smell the fragrance coming off her hair and the skin of her upper body. It was the smell of good health and unaffected beauty, almost tangy but with overtones of woods, fields and sun.

It was erotic as hell; while her womanly scent would drive any man wild with lust. I hesitated because I wanted to savor the moment, but Jane doesn't work that way. She reached between us and impatiently inserted me into her.

People talk about a woman opening herself to a lover but until you have experienced what Jane did you will never understand what that means. Jane gave herself to me totally at that instant.

She spread and raised her legs even wider and rotated her hips so that I was touching bottom deep inside her. At the same time, she was kissing me with a fully open mouth that invited me inside the other end of her body.

It was one of the most intimate things I have ever experienced. Her pussy was pure silk, with little tweaks and flutters like distant lightening on a stifling summer evening on the prairie. The heat was incredible, almost inhumanly hot.

She gasped loudly as I slid into her and then began to move emitting little squeaks and "Ohhhs" with each stroke. Then she started to breathe slowly and deeply leading up to regular moaning.

Those moans and gasps continued for a short time and then she came. It was nothing spectacular, just a loud groan, a tightening of the grip of her thighs on my hips and the clenching of her internal muscles.

In the meantime, I had picked up the pace. When she stopped coming, she went back to moaning loud enough that anybody walking past on the dock would have heard her. Her legs, which were now widely spread eagled, began to move around restlessly above me, as if she was winding up to another much bigger orgasm.

I kept pounding away accompanied by groans, pants and loud moans. Then she began to yell, "Ahhh yes, Mmmmm!! Fuck me baby!! I'm YOURS!! I'll ALWAYS be YOURS!!"

Those words drove me over the edge and into a long sunny canyon. I came until my balls nearly fell off. The voice in my head kept repeating, "She's mine she'll always be mine!"

Meanwhile Jane was in the grip of some kind of nuclear orgasm. She was bucking all over the bed, grunting gasping and panting beneath me, while her pussy convulsed with spasms of ecstasy as she wildly clawed my back. Her contractions and rapturous shaking went on for several seconds.

Both of us took our time coming back. Her legs were flat on the bed and I was supporting myself between them lying on my elbows and trying not to crush her. Her pillow tits were squashed between us. I had shrunk out of her. I rolled off and lay next to her listening to her cry with emotional release.

I suddenly flipped over onto my side and said, "You meant, that right? You're mine forever?"

She looked at me like she couldn't believe how stupid men could be and sniffled, "No I say that to everybody I fuck".

My heart sank. She laughed. "For such a smart guy you are incredibly dense when it comes to women." My heart soared.

We got cleaned up as best we could. All of our stuff was more-or-less trashed. So, we tucked things in and made our way back to the car. We didn't talk. But we didn't need to.

Naturally, I wanted to find out what this all meant. That is, once we had put ourselves back together. So, I dropped Jane at her place and told her I'd be back in an hour. We didn't say much in between. I went around to my place and changed into a shirt and tie. I was thinking we should sort this out at a nice place like Spago.

This time I parked on the street and rang the buzzer. A disembodied voice from the speaker said, "Come on up the door is open". I walked up the mahogany steps which were surprisingly upscale and expensive for a student apartment, knocked on the only door up there opened it and went in.

I knew she had money. But I was stunned. The apartment was a good 1,500 square feet of open-plan, exposed brick and wall to ceiling windows.

The décor was not what you would imagine for a 25-year-old single college girl's place. It was all tasteful natural wood and chrome; minimalist, with very expensive but comfortable furniture, real art on the walls and Brubeck playing softly in the background from invisible speakers.

The rug on the floor must have set her back ten or fifteen thousand alone. She was sitting on a fine-leather couch in a Peacock Alley robe looking elegant, with her incredible dancer's legs folded neatly under her. Nonplussed doesn't describe the look on my face.

Jane said, "Grab a drink and sit down. We need to talk." My heart sank. Shit! She had thought it over and come to her senses.

I walked over to her built-in bar thinking, "what kind of twenty-five-year-old girl builds a full bar into her apartment?" I poured myself a generous helping of Redbreast thinking, "What kind of twenty-five-year-old girl keeps vintage unblended Irish whiskey in her bar?"

I said awestruck, "This is an amazing place."

Jane said matter-of-fact, "I like it. I own the building."

Seriously??!! She owns the bar that she hangs out in??!! I knew right-then-and-there that I was miles out of my league!!

I walked over and sat down opposite her, balanced my drink on my knee and waited for the inevitable torpedo to hit me right in the heart.

She started out with, "You can see that I don't need any man's money to support myself, right? I come from a very rich family and I have a huge trust fund."

I looked around her elegant place and nodded sadly.

She added, "And you have probably noticed over the past three days that I do not lack for male attention."

I did everything but actually dissolve into a pea-green puddle at her feet.

She said grimly, "So, we have to have an understanding right here and now".

I sighed, HERE IT COMES.

She said with tension showing in her voice for the first time, "I have known many men".

I thought, "Jesus Christ lady!! Would you stop rubbing it in and get on with it!!"

She said with a little sob in her voice, "But I have never come close to feeling what I felt with you today."

WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?

Jane continued blithely on, "So, if I marry you, I want you to understand that I am committing myself to you totally and exclusively, out of my own free will, for the rest of my life. If you cannot make the same commitment, I want you to walk out that door and never come back."

PARDON ME? Did I hear her right? Did this magnificent creature just use the words "commitment" "marriage" and "me", in the same sentence!!??? My brain exploded!

Here I was hoping that I might be allowed to woo her in some exclusive manner, with the long-term prospect of her maybe finding me acceptable enough to possibly consider partnering with me at some indeterminate time in the future.

Here SHE was, sitting there as regal as the Queen of England, proposing marriage right here and now - to ME. And we hadn't even had our first date??!!

There has never been a time in my life that I have EVER believed more in a higher power. Back on the boat, I had recognized that Jane was always going to be the only person in the world for me. Incredibly, she must have come to the same conclusion.

But no mortal female would have acted on that decision without a lot of beating around the bush and loads of games. Instead, this magnificent creature was cutting to the chase for both of us. I thought to myself, "My God what a woman!!"

She looked a little concerned, maybe because it was hard for me to hide the hurricane of emotion that was sweeping across me.

I said as calmly as I could, "Make no mistake. I know that you are the only person in the world for me. I have probably known that from the second I saw you."

I continued with, "As far as I'm concerned, any time we waste before we formalize that commitment is lost time. The one thing I pledge to you is that you will never regret that you gave yourself to me."

The look that spread across her face was relief tinged with sheer joy. Needless to say, we didn't get to the restaurant that night.

We were married before the end of that year. I would have eloped on the spot if that's what it would've taken. I come from a small family. So, I had very few people sitting on my side in the cavernous Cathedral of Saints Peter and Paul, except my folks and a couple of my colleagues.

Jane is from important society folks and she had an entire entourage of relatives to satisfy; parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and half a battalion of campus friends including the Greek god Adonis himself. He looked sad. TOUGH!! Jane was mine and nobody would ever take her away from me.

*****

I moved up in the intervening three years; or down, as Jane who was a Wharton grad viewed it. I was at the Graduate Management School at Yale. We were living just west of Mystic, in a big old sea captain's house on a hill, It had an incredible view of the Atlantic from the widow's walk.

I'd drive the forty-five minutes over to New Haven three times a week for class. The rest of the time I just stayed in my office writing. A university faculty member's reward system is geared to publish-or-perish. So, that's the real job for an academic.

Because I was around the house all the time, Jane and I were never far from each other. Most married couples would find that excruciating. But our relationship is what sociologists call "binary". We were so tightly bound to each other emotionally that we didn't need, or want, other people's company.

Because neither of us actually had to go into "work" per-se, we had the luxury of only doing things that we could do together. For example, if I spoke at a conference, which is another thing that academics do to get along, Jane would go with me. The merchants of whatever city we visited loved to see her arrive. Since, she'd pillage the local stores like the Goths sacking Rome.

Jane earned her money though. When I first met her, she was actively involved in the management of her trust; hence the Wharton connection. Watching my gorgeous wife control a ravening pack of Wall Street lawyers through sheer force of her will became one of my favorite spectator sports.

Speaking of sports, that was one of Janes more endearing quirks. My preppie princess got slightly rowdier than a drunken factory hand at any sporting event. And, the sex that followed a last minute, game-winning touchdown, or a walk off home run, burned more energy than the athlete who scored it. That was the paradox that was Jane.

********

The serving girl brought me my morning khubz and eggs. I wouldn't eat again until late afternoon. The Republican Palace wasn't a bad place to be imprisoned. But the September temperature was still around 100 degrees.

The room where they kept me wasn't air conditioned and it was hard to work up an appetite in all that heat. I had a small space with a sleeping palette and table with a little light on it. There was a ratty old overstuffed chair next to the light. That was it.