All Comments on 'Welldark B1 Ch. 06'

I am loving this series so far! A romance that is steeped in mystique and rides the fine line between purity and erotic. Keep up the amazing work!

Dundkupf? I may be remembering wrong but fairly certain that means dumb head in German hahaha even if it doesn't it's still funny thanks for the laugh and I look forward to more of this story

Everything about this is great, keep it coming!

As warned, the story is truly a slow burn. The tension between Esther and Karitas continues to spark (no smoulder or smoke yet). However, the slow development of the characters has been frustrating.

OBSERVATIONS:

We've met the main and some supporting characters. Esther and Karitas are easily the most gifted 1st semester students.

We have significant details about the Weldark world and how everything is laid out.

Seems like a "taming of the shrew" love story.

Instead of giving us the backgrounds of Karitas and Esther, we are learning their characters through their awkward interactions.

Esther is distant and only communicates reluctantly. Much has been hinted about Esther's mysterious background but her reluctance to communicate with Karitas is hindering the development of her character. She's not an empathetic character at this point. If we knew the reason(s) for her reticence we could empathize with her aloof military tendencies.

Karitas is gregarious and we have learned a lot about his patience. He's reconciling his desire to have physical relationships and his desire to have Esther become his queen. His failures make him empathetic to all us who have tried and failed at love.

The result has been an uneven compromise: Karitas has changed significantly (curbing his verbosity and money spending) while Esther is still offering criticism with confusing physical touching. In all fairness there are hints (her veiled jealousy) that Esther may soon open up to Karitas.

FEEDBACK:

Action: First chapter had two sparring matches, but since then just a lot of wandering around and talking with not much happening.

Many stories have an antagonist: who is the bad guy? Missed opportunities for tension (envy, jealousy, resentment) between other students and Esther/Karitas; or tension between other male students and Karitas because Esther chose to move in; or even tension between other students and Willt/Arlethia because they lucked into a mansion.

Development: The synopsis stated "Karitas aims to enjoy his university life to the fullest… studying topics he is passionate about… (and) building of his Anomalia…". Karitas has done very little yet.

I look forward to your next chapter.

First of all, very impressed that you managed to put in the schedule as a picture and make it look as nice as you did - this really helped me visualize what his week looked like. Taking a few paragraphs to describe hour by hour what a schedule looks like just makes my eyes glaze over, and retain nothing. Secondly, the pace of this story has been spot on, great balancing act of plot progression, love/attraction, and world building. Not shying away from the magic and actually taking the time to ‘explain’ how it works has been a pleasure, and gives the world ‘rules’ that it must abide. Too many other stories in magical worlds never explain the how, leading to situations where the reader is screaming at the characters to ‘just do this or that’, or ‘why can’t they do that?’ via magic. Ensuring that magic is ‘balanced’ by clear limitations or drawbacks means that someone who is truly skilled or gifted with it *means* something to the reader, quantifiably. Lastly, I like the balance of characters you’ve developed so far, there’s not so many that the reader gets lost or doesn’t care about them, yet enough that the world doesn’t seem empty, or for every character introduced to seem hollow and only there for one purpose never to be mentioned again. You’ve still given enough description to everyone you’ve introduced to visualize without becoming like a monologue. A very hard balance to strike, and you do it well.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I don’t have much to give constructive feedback on, I am very impressed overall with the quality of your work. Keep it up!

I love the approach you take with sexuallity (class), more refined. I find myself conflicted to what I would ask of you. Harem and more sexual adventures is nice, but not at the cost of the aforementioned refinement. Maybe let us peek in the action of our good friends? They do live in the same house?

Lewd content will be more common in future books. I deemed it the right move to slowly work up to the first one to establish that Esther isn't a loose woman. Once that is out of the way and there is something substantial, that's an easy way to get more lewd content.

With each chapter, it’s feeling like more and more Esther will not be in his nor any Anomalia.

Must admit, despite the lack of lewd content, I'm really enjoying this for the flirting and for the way you've written the characters, especially Esther. I have my own theory on why she is the way she is and it will be interesting to see if that is the way you play it out.

Thanks for the school setting Lit was lacking in that category and you are mastering it

The flow of this story is remarkable. It seems to move from one scene to the next naturally, yet with the hint of mystery and surprise waiting in the wings. Some parts seem inevitable -- Esther becoming Karitas' Queen, for example. But there are wrinkles interesting as well -- Where will the Grey succubus (Karona) fit in and how disruptive will her presence be during the formative stages of the Anomalia and if/when she is included how will she affect the functioning of the unit. I'm sure FF will show/tell us the intricacies of the relationships.

Lots of promise still, curious where this