All Comments on 'Westrons Pt. 02'

That is harsh.

Still a pretty boilerplate plot, but interesting enough to keep following this story.

Hints of Marco Kloos and early Weber. Can't wait to read more!

Your writing is improving in leaps and bounds!

As usual, hooked again! Looking forward to the next segment.

Can hardly wait for the next chapter. Best story I've read in a long time.

Soooo...here's this wicked smart, pattern-detecting, self-starting, insubordinate, 2nd louie stuck in the middle of ab-so-lute-ly nofuckinwhere, who also is bored out of his mind. What are you gonna have him get up to?

I predict a "highly unlikely," easily dismissed, with-only-circumstantial-evidence-to-even-suggest-the-possibility-of-an-invasion by some nasty ass aliens. Who then show up.

Just a SWAG, but given his history...

Again, hope I didn't throw out any spoilers.

Great stuff. Keep up the good work.

Mel

But I hope this is actually going somewhere.

Excellent as always!

Even if your readers sometimes get them correct remember that it is YOUR story that is inspiring predictions. Like the last episode of GOT everyone had a prediction as to what would happen. It was odds on that some would get it right.

I've enjoyed all of your stories, and I like how this one is playing out thus far.

Now the question is will the hero manage to return to the vixen in the hotel or will she be lost forever?

My thoughts... He's in backwater middle of nowhere space. There is a HORRIFIC attack, many planets/systems are lost. While his system was also attacked he was able to adapt to the enemies strategies and think like them fast enough to save as many resources as he could and perhaps even defend a base.

Still things have gone to shit in almost every other system attacked. Dozens are reeling and the military is doing all it can to mount a counter offensive but they are constantly being defeated by better technology and tactics.

Our hero monitors the war effort and with embarrassing defeat after defeat he realizes that soon his own lady love is going to be in the receiving end of the alien hordes atrocities.

That's when he steps up and says he can turn the tide with some resources. The Military upper ranks don't know what to do but upon reviewing his history of repelling attack after attack with civilian resources and minimal better military resources they decide to risk some resources on him.

In battles again he shouldn't be able to win he is able to eek out a victory or at least a stalemate. Meanwhile losses continue to mount in other systems thanks to the bog standard tactics they have been teaching.

Finally he is field promoted and starts to turn the tide, literally swooping in to save his lady love with a special forces group because he needed to 'feel the flow of the battle.' as some of the past Generals he has studied do.

Soon the same teachers and commanders and others that scoffed at what he was doing and turning to him to lead them and humanity to survive. Because victory is long gone.

See casting predictions can be fun!

Really looking forward to seeing where this goes. I feel bad for Vanova, though.

That was a rough turn of events. Hope he's able to turn things around.

6 lit pages of the world shitting on the protagonist. I haven't done this much eye rolling and scoffing for a long time.

Interesting how you show him working his ass off and that despite the "advanced years" in which this saga occurs, there's still the elitism Cook attempts fighting. He has learned a lot and given it back where he could, but I applaud your "creativity" with how they "graduate" him to exile him in such a unique and cruel way, although the stretch is they most likely couldn't have dreamed it up with their feckless instruction.

I feel good about his future because of his persistence because it's clear he won't give up. I just hate him not getting to say anything to Vanova. Still, quite authentic and real "military." 5

If this were a large variety of random world events all taking aim at our protagonist it would be unrealistic and hard to believe.

But it's not. It's a single organization which unfortunately controls the majority of his life and the planet on which he lives. I've heard IRL horror stories about students being targeted like this by high school faculties and the only escape is sometimes for the family to move.

It's a lot of garbage, but totally plausible. I love how stoic Cook has become about it all.

The 'punishments' are obviously exaggerated, but the attitude behind them is spot on. If you don't play ball, they will try and fuck you, regardless of skill or intent.

I've read many stories and this is the first one I have ever commented on. Not what one expects on a erotica site. However, I found myself having to leave and wishing the whole story was on autobook to listen to on my drive.

Damn. Dude's getting screwed pretty hard.

Intrigued and totally engaged by this high quality story & story telling.

Love the backstory and military historical battles.

A tale of an underdog, this is going to be good I just know it.

This chapter lists a few similarities with the modern divergence called WSIM24B: one is that he also has a tablet in this one like he does in the aforementioned modern title; the difference is that he's not mentioned as using it as much--and in the modern version, the bartender named Lori keeps it for him, as it's heavily encrypted and he doesn't want it stolen nor looked at by prying military eyes. Here though, it was obvious he only used it for communication purposes, the main one of which was to keep in touch with Vanova. Another similarity is the body sculpting, which I had totally forgotten about in regards to Karpov's girlfriend, which turns out to be the senior commander's daughter. Additionally, Cook himself reveals that he thinks highly of himself, but he's not outright arrogant; in flipping the script in the WSIM24B title, Thorn is arrogant but doesn't necessarily think highly of himself except when it comes to having relations with the opposite sex.

***

It amazes me come back to this 5 years later and have the story remind me just how well composed it was and still is. There's still the same efficient syntax: the author manages to stack the sentence structure to match the pacing of the story in order to maximize the impact of the words we read. I just can't say enough about it, because some people are great at knowing when to put that one word for emphasis after a long paragraph in order to basically create shock value; this author mastered varying sentence structure and paragraph structure to create the best effect for each part of the story. It's just wonderful to reread it and be reminded of that fact.