All Comments on 'What?'

Just not much of a story

Didn't add anything to the original that wasn't that good anyway.

No wronged husband. No bitch to be burnt. Whatever were you thinking?

You know what? Never mind. I think this is where I finally stop reading anything you write. Despite your ability to write, I never like any of your characters, and I certainly don't enjoy anything that happens to any of them, so I guess it should be easy.

**

Too good to be true ? For' now ' it's all good. Patty is a high maintenance prize and the narrator doesn't mind a whit. Good luck to him . RichardGerald truely excels in these short stories of steady rolling men who are drawn to quite attractive, kinder gentler but domineering women who call the shots in the marriage sotto voice.

It's working here ( in terms of happiness as curtain drops ) , not so much in " Her Itch ", " The Bridge ", " A Slow Dance or " Jail Breaking. Maybe the sheer law of averages is evening things up ? There were ominous passages, but they turned out to be red herrings at conclusion. I wonder how many readers will think it's a tragedy, that at the end , there's no tragedy ?

Full marks * * * * *

needs to re-evaluate her marriage and psyche, TK U MLJ LV NV

...it left a lot to be desired.

The whole cheerleader slut marries the computer geek after running into him in a required class and hearing him read a poem? Oh, and she tries a ruse of dating a big, black jock....to make the geek jealous, but also fucking him after the date, but never letting the geek do more than rub her titties? No, really?

You should read some of this stuff out loud before you submit it. I think then, some of the totally unrealistic and completely abnormal parts would change dramatically.

If you're not going to give a viable reason or a story 'mechanism' that allows readers to accept the unacceptable, or believe the unbelievable, you are going to continue to get a lot of responses that are not likely to gratify.

And I thought this was one of RichardGerald's better explorations of some of those complexities.

He puts two people together, each with his and her own insecurities hanging around, not quite suppressed. Those insecurities constantly threatening to burst forth and damage the relationship but somehow being kept below catastrophe level.

Well done.

Lue

wait for the story teller to finish.... More to come... at least that is my take 5 for sucking me in smiling

"I keep telling you that I love you." - "Telling" him is one thing, how about showing him? I know this goes back to the first story, but how about fucking HIM and NOT fucking other guys while they were dating? And as he says here, why blame him for the things that SHE wanted? And why does his cock belong to her, but her pussy doesn't belong to him? I know it's not how it turned out, but that's a recipe for infidelity!

Re: Going off the pill - While the woman certainly has the final say if she WILL get pregnant, the man deserves the final say if he will GET her pregnant!

"No, I am fed up with this. I have a right to know what is wrong." -He is right! He's the father, he has a right to know what's going on!

"I was partly to blame." - I am SICK of him blaming himself! His only blame goes back to when they were dating that he didn't lay down the law about her fucking around while they were dating AND not giving HIM any!

A nice little story with a real morale

"And they lived happily ever after."

A little syrupy sweet for my palate, but this was executed very well. The characters are well-developed, flawed, and realistic enough to relate to. By the end I was rooting for a happy ending, and you delivered.

Thanks for contributing.

Reading some of this writer work, could makes us think that part 2 would take us in another totally different direction...But he surprised us and it was a very good surprise...4*

Great job, as always! Now finish the " Bridge ". You have a wonderful talent to bring all the characters to life. C9d3

Not many men would accept as a wife someone who slept with an old boyfriend while she was asking future husband to marry her. In reality, husband was probably right and he should not have married wife. The story although good as written would not have a happy long term ending with a wife as good lucking, insecure and lacking in morals as wife was in this story. She will cheat again. Still 5 stars because stories don't have to make perfect sense to be good.

anon.1

As well as the first installment was written,this was not. It didnt seem like a Richard Gerald story, hard to put my finger on it, but it kinda meandered with no real tension or me caring about the characters.

Meh!

In an earlier comment I said "people are complex".

Patillie commented that this story "kinda meandered with no real tension or me caring about the characters". Patillie prefers other RichardGerald stories.

I cared much more about these two characters than I did about those in 'The Bridge', for example, which is the RichardGerald story most people seem to refer to as a classic. And I thought there was plenty of tension, but it was internal to each character rather than between characters.

Just goes to show: we're all different. Not right or wrong, just different.

Lue

A nice fantasy that has nothing to do with part one.4*

The first part seemed to setting up this wife to become a cheater. This second part was so off-the-wall that I enjoyed it. The wife turns out to be more jealous than the husband (surprise, surprise). AND there was no cheating....how refreshing. Never expected this ending - it turns out to be two people who really love each other. Thank You for a very enjoyable story with one hell of a twist.

great story

in every storyes american womens are portrayed as sluts becoming nuns. is that for real? so i guess there no matter what you choose you will still choose a whore. lol country of cucks..

Any one who writes, needs to also make the story compelling and full of the unexpected twists and turns that reveal real original insights of human behavior...

Wally

Actually, I think the reason most American women are portrayed that way is for 2 reasons.

The first I lay squarely on the femi-nazi movement and their attempt to destroy the basic natural family unit for 80 years. Among many other issues, this has resulted in a deluge of mass media propaganda and education programs leading to some truly unhealthy views and actions in this country.

The second, ultimately stories aren't interesting if everyone in them is "normal". Therefore most fiction can be assumed to represent the abnormal of human behavior rather the norm.

Only you, Richard Gerard, would think of putting that in there. Your women are such selfish bitches, but then, they really love their men. Ain't love such a selfish state anyway?

...and burn is going to be horrendous. I can only wait, please don't make it to long,

I can't stop reading this.

It is like watching a train wreck.

Entertaining though!

Wow , where to start ?

Ok , so I went back and read the first story, and I think you should have let that corpse decompose. It was a stinker.

You are a hard author to get a grip on, you write one of the greatest male characters in LW history in Jailbreak , and instead of leaving great alone, you caved in to pressure and posted On the lamb. Totally undoing the great character in the first.

This , was just all over the place. I got your little hint about satire , but this wasn't ironic , it was Bi-Polar. Could two personalities change anymore in three pages , no. It was literally Freaky Friday in LW world. It started out with Tom Hanks "Big" character marries the ultra hot version of Kathy Bates character from "Misery". But then she starts to actually look like Kathy Bates and now Bam, the earth's magnetic poles just shifted.

One thing about your works author , they either really work for me or its 180 degrees the other way. This one didn't work for me.

But if the law of averages is at play , your next one will be up there with Jailbreak or The bridge , two of the best ever in this category.

3*'s

No way is the score on this shit real.

the old proofreader in me must comment. Here are some of the most memorable:

1. Virtually all past tense except for a few present tense passages.

2. Yea vs. yeah

3. Nonplussed vs. nonpulsed

4. The rabbit ALWAYS dies.

It was interesting that you saw it that way and didn't like it Crkcppr. I did like it and perhaps for the reasons that you didn't.

(And what is 'love' anyway. Isn't it one of those fascinating concepts that is whatever the lovers want it to be? It's one of those 'I'll know it when I see it' things.)

I have quoted Clyde Kluckhohn in comments elsewhere:

Every man is, to some extent:

Like every other man

Like some other men

Like no other man.

To me, the most interesting stories are those in which the characters are 'like no other man'. I saw these two characters fitting that description well. Thus I found it to be an interesting story.

The characters in stories like The Bridge are much more 'like some other men'. Predictable. Less interesting.

Lue

You have the slut turning into a faithful wife. Well, at least for now, and until an opportunity for real fucking comes along. Which it will in California. But its OK. This husband is too stupid and manipulable to be an obstacle to his wife's choices, or to be pitied when she takes a royal shit on him. In fact he will deserve it. Write on.

I think the reason this story is garnering negatives is because it is in the wrong category. Like "When," this story belongs in the Romance category.

However, it pains me to say I barely registered this story two days after reading it. In fact, I had to reread to be reminded of the premise.

Now, this is purely based on value judgments and not on quality of writing. People do stupid things for love, as luedon let on. And we really need a picture of this woman to get a sense of how penis driven his weakness is.

Because he IS weak! Badly weak! "Is there any reason I shouldn't be (angry)?" Of COURSE he should be angry! He should have been pissed a long time ago!

And yet two snivels later on her part, and he caves like a spelunker. I wanted to grab his shoulders and shake him at pussying out.

Okay, maybe there is a bit of a writing critique. I never got the sense that she was desperately in love with him. HOW her character was portrayed was one of controlling bitch. And I barely got the sense that he was so terribly into her. I didn't 'feel' it.

And here is something that has me in a bit of a snit: how did he, between one story and another, become a professional loser as well? How does an untenured teacher become a 'sugar mamma'?

Since I am here, why not bitch about "When"? That was an EPIC dramatic conversation. "How can you fuck everyone and their cousins at the tip of a hat, but keep me waiting when you supposedly love me?' Her response was weak tea and his accepting that weak tea was a disappointment.

LSD is correct. You love these pushy controlling women with the man knuckling under. Are ANY of the men in any of your stories stronger or more successful than the women? In some ways, your stories are much truer cuckold fare than the creampie eating caricatures. The pussy rules and the man just accepts.

Which is why I think The Bridge was, in comparison to many of your stories, much more refreshing. That was the singular instance where the man did NOT knuckle under in the final analysis (while wiping the metaphorical cum off his face while his wife is fucking his boss in the short term) Granted, you could not give him any victory. He is still sad and pathetic. Just not shackled to his rather humiliating cheating wife.

Maybe take a stab at a bit more clear cut story.

I agree with FD45. This guy was way too weak to be relatable. The characters' relationship seemed to be built on control. It was like her main attraction to him was that his only purpose in life was to make her happy. He was a costar in HER play. He was Alfred to her Batman. He had no other ambition than to be Mr. Patty Ann.

One other thing grated me about this story. It was so off the rails that it killed the story for me. She fucks a guy on Friday, and then tries to use him to coerce her boyfriend into popping the question. The fact that she even did this makes her extremely narcissistic, and the fact that he knew about it and still married her screamed of a core weakness that I can't really see a woman falling in love with. On top of that, he was a broke ass weak man. What was so great about him that made her love him? Other than the fact that he was so easily controlled. Maybe I just answered my own questions.

I did not care about these two. I couldn't relate to their marriage, so I felt none of what they felt. This made the story flat for me.

Once again, very well written, with few technical mistakes (I do think you dropped the word "man" on the first page when referring to her jealousy. And a duck flies while a duct carries air). But that's just me being anal. My problem with this story is that she's such a manipulative bully and he's such a passive, wimpy kind of guy. I found myself not liking either character. That's what spoiled the story for me (and the fact that no school teacher ever earned squat for teaching Phys Ed in High school.). You seem to have a penchant for male characters that are not strong individuals. Since I still haven't forgiven you for Crime and Punishment and not letting the husband divorce the bitch, I find it impossible to give this story more than a 3, which is frustrating because you can write a good story. Try for some stronger male leads in the next one?

When I saw you continued this story you had me waiting for the other shoe to drop. When is she going to cheat? Surely she's going to cheat, it's a RichardGerald story! Then I finished the story and she didn't cheat. You know what? That's ok. I enjoy your stories and the complexity of the characters. I always find myself so perplexed by the females in your stories though. I understood this one though.

I enjoyed the story and the fact that the shoe was on the other foot as far as the jealousy goes. I'm glad that this story has a happy ending, unlike many of your stories. I almost don't want it to continue because I want them to stay happy. Almost...

Let's face it, neither of the principal characters are lovable, or ones that the reader can feel empathy with. Frankly the two of them deserve each other.

The ending chapter of Crime and Punishment garnered almost Katami levels of hate. And you repeated it with 'On the Lam' (or maybe that was just me) That is a very large hole to dig your way out of.

Daniel Q Steele writes similar brazen, pushy, entitled female characters that you seem to favor, but his men tend to have a bit more spine. Yes, they think only with their dicks and lose 50 IQ points with big boobies in their sight, but the dramatic conversations are ON POINT. They KNOW that their brains are being short circuited by their dicks. The man does not just sit there and suck up what she does to him.

From memory, "Do you remember my Name' and "The Bridge' are the only ones where the men have any rebuttal to their women. (You started strong on that one story but lost it in 'On the Lam')

(OMG. I need a vodka after thinking about Katami's stories)

I am thinking about my MANY and DEEP critiques of DQS' characters. God they are weak willed! They are abused much worse than your characters here, and yet after a few years or a whiff of pussy, they come running back!

HOWEVER, at one point in the story, they tend to have a denouement with the wife, where they have sufficient hair on their balls to leave the wives at least temporarily.

Note. The stories where you do this are some of the highest ranking.

Yeah

Thanks for the well written effort. However, I didn't care for the story. Two stars.

This Writer has done some interesting works, so perhaps I am being a bit harsh since I haven't read part 1 ("Why"). Perhaps the context provided by part 1 will improve my view of this effort.

I got the impression that you would have had a higher score if you had put this one in Humour!

I thought the guy put up with a bit too much shit from her. I liked how you kept the possibility of her cheating on the outer edges. My biggest problem was the ending seems tacked on and not true to the characters you built.

I just love this authors writing. Five *'s.

Any way you take it from here is going to feed off his or her old insecurities, the fact that she was spoiled and sexually active, or both. It will be cliche. Let your story end with them being happy. It actually does happen. Besides you do not want to be like so many Lit authors who cannot seem to let it go, nor understand the difference between a short story and a novel.

Thanks for the offering.

They each think the other is more than they deserve. They'll spend the rest of their lives bending over backward to make each other happy.

Don't have either one of them actually cheat. It would ruin the entire story.

A very nice ending. Don't continue. Leave it where it ended. Happy ending..

Wait till they become teenagers, your trouble will just begin.i have 4 daughters all different. They can be a handful.

Although I do still get annoyed at her cheating on him, especially that Friday night! That was some betrayal....

...afraid this story would turn into a slut-wife story. Waiting for the shoe to drop I was pleasently surprised, how it turned out. Excellent. 5*. Thank you for writing this one and sharing pleasure

And to anyone who doesn't think jealousy is something that needs to be overcome, try being the one whose spouse is jealous...

How contraire to have your spouse say they trust YOU... But are still jealous. Face it, if you really trust your spouse, they could be in a room full of "competition" and you'd know there really was none.

Especially glad that he was wrong about her...

told us about the perfect country song. Well Richard Gerald just wrote the perfect loving wives EXCEPT...

At the end our nerdy husband was talking about how he had to find a way to split his heart up into four parts. BIG MISTAKE! You see every time new baby comes along your heart just gets bigger.

Now if he'd said that it would have been the perfect loving wives story.

Have another five!

Jedd Clampett

I can't understand why everyone thinks this is a loving couple.

She has no respect for him as a man and it is no wonder. He acts like a pussy whipped wimp and she is open in deriding him for it.

This tells it all:

" was getting accustomed to her raising her eyebrows at my male stupidity. I am not a wimp. I'm not. It's just that she's in charge, and no place more than the bedroom. From the beginning, she let me know that she'd had enough of guys getting what they wanted from her. I was there to give her pleasure."

He repeats he is not a wimp. But that is just what he is.

A submissive little pussy whipped wimp. No respect given to him and frankly none deserved until he mans up.

But, I am not so sure the author is capable of writing about a strong dominant man.

She has trust issues, probably do to very guilty feelings. Cheating perhaps?

of course she has trust issues, people judge others by their own standards.

A slut and a wimp.

Why is obvious. But he married her knowing she is the kind of slut who would have sex with other men while at the same time denying him .So, in this case he got what he deserved, a slut .

Of course only a broken person would marry a slut like that if fidelity was important.

When and What - Love your writing of complex, emotional stories and realistic dialogue. One of the best on the site, in my humble opinion. Thank you for the entertainment - and keeping me guessing.

I would of told Jerry to F**k off! Find another sperm donor.

lol. She wouldn't even throw him a handjob while she was fucking her way through the basketball team. I mean, I ultimately like the story, but that was never explained to any satisfaction.

After reading the first part, When, I thought she would have been cheating on him for sure. She did it before they married and he knew that. Which is something that bothered me; that you really didn't address that issue except to say he knew.

So no real cheating, but a hell of a lot of drama! Well done. I would like to see if Jerry and Kelly do get pregnant with artificial insemination. But really, I'd like to see Patty-Ann deal with her jealousy. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing Kelly beg Patty-Ann for him to do it the natural way to set off her jealousy, but I wonder how she can get over it even without a cause for her to be jealous. Anyway, great idea and execution. Thank you.

life is never good when worries prevail/ TK U MLJ LV NV

RG - Salute, some very good writing.... You led us down a few preconceived paths to only snap us back to logic. A true talent....

However, she needs some serious shrink time, or I see a squeal of coming issues!!! I'm just glad to see he finally got some balls and started to take charge.

But she had sex with someone else while trying a stunt to get him to propose? really?

Then she somehow suddenly becomes faithful?

A bit of a storyline issue there.

So she became a blimp, eh? That was pretty funny. It is true that the balance of power shifts to the man later in life, but that was a pretty early shift, here. This couple is quite weird and endearing. I suspect that there will be a classic midlife crisis in the future, though: the wife will need a re-affirming affair at some point, as happens in the LW category.

He's got a job - for awhile. He's still got an insanely jealous, manipulative, controlling wife whom he has just moved far away from all her support group. I don't care if Daddy does buy a plane. He's still hours away, not minutes. What's he going to do now? Work insane hours to keep up and try and get ahead or lose his job. That's how silicon valley works. His wife isn't going to change so she'll be suspicious every time he gets home late. Who wants to live like that? I'm not sure what the title of the 3rd chapter will be, but it sure as hell is going to include a nasty divorce. We'll see.

Interesting comment about the balance of power shifting to the man later in life. I suppose one reason is an older man is less of a slave to his d*ck. Perhaps women begin to value the men who can be relied on as opposed to the good looking bad boys. Other reasons?

But since she is such an equal opportunity slut and California already has a fucked up attitude about fidelity and such, I wouldn't want to put money on the next child to hit the ground. Maybe she's already thinking that a huge dick can put it where an average dick can't shoot it. This is really funny. An insanely jealous slut. Hooty-hoo.

neckbearded virgins moaning in the comments, weeping since she didn't break her vows, descending into delusion to sate their inner wannabe-cucky.

5 stars!

It was a bit of a surprise that the twins were his. I assume they WERE his!? You're not holding something back? After all it is in the Loving Wives column.

I see an opportunity for a sequel... California, jealous wife, the authors penchant for linking wives up with black lovers...

The SEAGULL couple in disagreement.

luedon wrote much more depth into this story than was ever there. Evidently so did many others.

Richard Gerald has his admirers so enthralled by admittedly talented writing skill that they automatically assign some deep psychological and philosophical drama to all his works.

I am perplexed that all these thoughtful and contemplative authors and the ''usual suspects'' of ''my voice must be heard'' commenters do not recognize a FARCE when they are reading one.

I admire luedon. I know she is quite intelligent. I have engaged in mutually respectful back and forths in more that one stories comment section. Admittedly one became a bit warm when she berated me for being snarky with lsd, but I was only speaking to him in his native tongue. If luedon is certain this work is a serious piece the best I can do is acknowledge her superior literary knowledge and compromise.

What? is SERIOUSLY FUNNY

Quibbling now-in a mere fourteen lines between referring to him you change the name of Kelly's husband.

RichardGerald isn't really a good author. He mostly writes for the cucks so his plots usually sucks. And of course Luedon loves him. On storiesonline, were scores are NOT adjusted, RG's stuff barely gets a 6/10 score.

dumb cuck shit.

I figure mostly women truly enjoyed it. I enjoyed it pretty much myself.

"she said giving my genitals a good slap for emphasis". That was the end of the story for me, looks like you have it listed in the wrong category.

anonjerry

I could not see a way to make me think he made the right decision but you have succeeded. Well done.

Excellent writing!

she was so jealous because people judge by their own standards, i found it a little out of character that she didn't continue to cheat on him after they were married.

When the guy in the expensive suit shows up at Larry's mother's garage, Jarred is "non-pulsed." While the expression nonplussed is what I believe he was going for, non-pulsed actually works to describe a cool, poker playing state of mind. Since Jarred has a ready response, he wouldn't be nonplussed, since that describes someone who is at a loss. So what would have been the wrong word to describe Jarred is saved by the error in spelling. Unless RG meant to do that all along...

A similar common error is the use of "peaked his curiosity," when the correct expression is "piqued his curiosity." You peek to see, you peak at your maximum and you pique to arouse. Peaked curiosity almost makes sense, but not quite.

All those piddling picky issues aside, I find myself really enjoying RG's writing. He has the ability to craft characters that are very human and fallible, yet capable of redemption.

At last a story where the husband gets to keep his balls

I thought he was a total pussy and it turned out he was only a partial pussy.

I thought he married a total cheating slut but was pleasantly surprised to see she was only a Crazed Jealous Psychopath.

But wasn't Patty-Ann a complete slut on campus! While trying to get Greg to propose, she thought nothing of spending Friday night in Jason, the black basket ball player's, bed. Knowing this, he still married her! Some pussy!

Until that last two word sentence. Now the whole thing is in doubt.

was nice to see a total slut actually be faithful, probably. I mean it happens.She wasn't even a sex addict but she kept him on a leash for years while she cuckolded him.

That is the very definition of a wimp.

men are stupid, women are whores. Thanks.

good story however if he knew she was a slut why marry her. Fuck her use condoms FWB that's it if she doesn't like it on her bike then,

How exactly did she change her nature?

Or did she.

She loved him in school but sputter around.

So why would she not be cheap my now?

And what guy would be thinking about a DNA test with her history?

Stupid story, now I have to take a good shit

Share my sperm. NFW! They can all get FU**ed!

bill

Fun read.

Good but do slurs really chage?

I mean she cheated on him the night before trying to make him jealous.

Because she loved him. The day after she cheated, again.

authors are the god of the universe they create within their story since this is NOT the way it would have worked out in real life.

She cheated at least up until the marriage and more than likely after. He would never do anything.

All this author writes about are the women who are superior and cheat at will and the men who accept it.

So she would crawl thru fire but wouldn't stop fucking other men?

They were in a realtionship for three years, before he was brow beaten into proposing

Durring that time she NEVER had sex with him, but did have sex with over 40 other men

How is that him keeping his balls?

You’re easily one of the most interesting authors on this site. Too few take the chances that you do with plot lines and characters. Hope you have more to offer.

This is a great story, much differant from usual. I enjoyed reading it very much. 5 stars.

"Oh baby, every girl I knew wanted you. You're so handsome, and you treated me so well. I would have crawled over hot coals for you, and I'm sure it would have been a race with every other girl I knew."

Really? then why did he go in to marriage a virgin while she fucked over 75 different men while dating him?

Cucks get one star - im guessing the girls arent his either

Sadly not very well done.