All Comments on 'What Did Happen in Vegas? Ch. 02'

This is a first rate whodoneit.

see i don't understand why she went to his friend bed so quick.she kept punishing him and so mean.when he get well drop her as fast he can.she weak and dumb.he can't trust her and she didn't trust him.brad would be fuck up big time if he find out it was him who fuck his wife.

Very suspenseful.

Hope Brad is part of the deception because he definitely took advantage of her and his friendship. He must be severely dealt with otherwise the plot and story becomes lame.

But out of curiousity, when written:

"Brad had penetrated Lisa with no more than half of his length when Lisa felt a sudden chill run through her body."

Exactly, how much is "half of his length" and when Lisa states:

"Tom, I let him enter me but not all the way. I suddenly came to my senses and I pushed him off me." How could she do this without a few complete thrusts from Brad.

It's very highly improbable that any man can go half way without at least one full thrust...

Nope, she lied, doesn't reveal Brad's name and has become an accessory to Tom's problem. Only a fool would forgive this...so I am assuming Brad will get his comuppance.

Good story so far though.

Your telling of this story is really great. And the story might even have a happy ending! Only you know!!

This drama is borne on the fact that Tom is holding secrets from his wife. He has established that he is holding information in confidence to cover for someone during his stay in Las Vegas. He knows he didn't cheat and therefore must know that either the individual(s) with whom he's entered into this confidence or some unknown third party is manipulating this information to create a wedge in his marriage. It would be in his best interest to contact the individual with whom he entered into this confidence to explain what is currently occurring and why he must now divulge this precious secret to his wife. Persisting in his obstinance not to fully disclose what occurred in Las Vegas is unfair to his wife who is the obvious target for this unknown tormentor. Since he can't get his mind around that fact he leaves his marriage open and vulnerable to the attack of a manipulator who may have an agenda to disrupt his chances for saving his marriage and securing the promotion he was promised earlier.

Well, dummy still won't tell us what he did in LAs Vegas. I guess keeping it a secret is more important than his marriage.

Must be hush hush for the CIA, huh?

And WHY can't the realization that he COULDN'T have been at Applebees on Sunday when he was in the hospital, sink into their heads, Especially hers. She can't figure out the message on her cell phone? A dying declaration.

They SHOULD be working together figuring out who is sending the fake photos; and why!!

Well, will they start to work together or will Lisa wind up in Brads bed? She will decide she needs to finish what she started the other night because Tom has now admitted he had an affair?

Maybe the NYT will tell us the secret??

One of your best stories and looking forward to the next part.Glad I have not got a 'friend'like Brad.

Like a good mystery, this is unfolding well. Anxious to see how you wrap it up.

the rest of us "like to bes". Your story telling is by far the best on here. And this story is no exceptions, one of my top 10 stories. I love it. Thanks for a great read so far. Can't wait to see who is at fault here with the bad photos and to find out what the hell the husband actually did in Lagas! Keep it coming swetie.

I am a big fan of your writing, but some of your plot leave a little bit to be desired. In this case anonymous caller/witer says Tom was unfaithful with inconclusive pictures to support contention. Braindead wife immediate ly assumes the worst and goes charging out for vengeance. In the ensueing action, Tom almost gets killed and Lisa almost has sex with tom's best friend.Then hospital and police take 3 days to find wife of critical patient, while Lisa ,who is worried about his absence, ignores messages on her phone. When they finally meet at hospital neither one believes the other. It never occurs to Lisa that she is being set up when anon picture shows him dating on day he is actually in the hospital. Tom is almost as dumb when he refuses to explain what happened in Los Vegas. His secret is obviously more important that his life or his marriage.I repeat, I love your writing, but your plots are a little far-fetched. good luck with your conclusion(s). 60 year old George

I left one comment already, but I must leave another. I found that I could read only 10% and skip about 90% of what you wrote in this one and still get the message. I agree with SOGOTP, you need to get off the pot. I disagree with whoever said it's a major Whodunit. There are far too many improbablilities, even for fiction (and this is MAJOR FICTION), that you expect us to accept at face value. I keep reading but I cannot believe your story line because it's far too improbable. You need to learn to think logically and rationally instead of allowing yourself to be drowned in literary fantasy.

I don’t believe that a brain dead idiot would even dare to make a comment on something that he admits to knowing nothing about. What kind of idiots do you have to put up with over there? This Pratt (translation Arsehole sorry asswhole) reads 10% of something and he’s a fucking expert.

By any chance does he work for NASA? They’re pretty good at not reading the fucking manuals as far as I can make out.

I think its a good and entertaining story. True to life, bollocks, no bleeding chance. Try enjoying reading it and stretch that tiny brain a little.

DC

Hard to read, drags, unlikely scenario. Are we supposed to hang around for a sequal?

I have to agree with 10% read. Best I could do is scan, I tried. Fine for some, not my thing.

Brad is the asshole behind this all. He got his stooge to help by setting up the girls pics and sending the guy to get this ref markers at Applebies. Thats what the book was for so the photshop doc could fix the pics.Brad isn't a best friend to any but himself.IMHO. Can't wait to see if I'm wrong.

As for not talking about Vegas. He's Exec corporate level. They deal in NON-DISCLOSURE all the time. If anyone but him knws about a thing it could cost him millions. So he can't talk about it. Just one possibility.

I love the fact the only anonymous people give you hell. They can sign up and let you know it’s just their opinion. I don’t think KK is going to hunt them down and yell at them.

I cannot imagine how many of these anonymous junk e-mail you get. I’m just a reader and get quite a few for my comments and that’s all right. I haven’t gotten one anonymous e-mail that wasn’t negative. I just ignore them and read the ones that give an e-mail address and entertain the opinion of that writer. Some have made me stop and think about my view, and two have changed my mind about what I have commented on. How many e-mails you get would probably boggle the mind.

Great story and looking forward to the next chapter.

great story...I can not wait to see how this is going to end.

I feel sorry for a man who loves such a self-centered, selfish, heartless bitch. She denies it is a mercy blow job, by admitting she WANTED to do it. But,she wanted to do it because it made HER feel good; not because of compassion and love for him. The entire is situation exists because it is all about her, HER, HER!!! Obviously, her wedding vows read: "For her, for her, for HER, FOR HER!!!

However, it is totally unrealistic. The husband keeps lying and the wife tell the truth. That is BS and would never happen; let alone all the other illogical things.

So Brad only half-fucked her? How did Tom know she had not come home that night? (The answer might be buried somewhere in the 4+ pages, but I can't recall it.) How did the police know the cell phone on the embankment belonged to the unidentified, injured man?

I am perplexed as to why he can't tell her what happened in Vegas. I can think of nothing other than an affair. But somehow, I think there is more to it. Five stars.

Is this supposed to be some new type of plot development technique where you just bullshit the reader with a barrage of improbable events?

At this point I doubt that you can redeem this tangle of stupidity but I am the masochist that might stick around to see.

I think we all know that he didn't cheat, but he did SOMETHING that he apparently promised SOMEONE not to tell.

But he can't tell his WIFE, even as their marriage is circling the drain?

Whatever it was, it better make all the rest of this worth it!

@Landrious1 – Nondisclosure or not, he HAS to talk to his WIFE!

BTW, what do you think the chances are that whoever is behind this is either trying to sabotage to stock deal or somehow manipulate it?

Why didn't he simply tell the Doctor to send him to a Rehab Facility? Much better place for him. He doesn't have to listen to his wife lie and he gets good care. The two of them wouldn't know the truth if it slapped them in their faces. Their combined IQ is that of a pea.

He was the one lying by not telling her what happened in Vegas. She told him the truth just leaving out who she did it with. I find it extraordinary that he can't tell her what happened in Vegas, risking his marriage. He is the one who is conceited and arrogant harping on about trust when he continues to fabricate lies himself. Idiots! Ie the character and Anon. Some Anons are so anti women that they fabricate their own stories to justify their hatred. ps I am a man and these morons put me to shame about my gender sometimes!

Still love it. Still five stars. Her response is unacceptable.

I'm reading this story for the third time and realized something I missed before. In this chapter, Brad takes a very drunk woman home and sets her up to have sex with him. She is so drunk that she can't speak at one point to tell him to stop -- and he keeps going. Had he continued when Lisa did tell him to stop, he would be raping her.

But I fucking hate Lisa and Tom is a pussy.

Predictably enough Brad is scum.

Lisa is a bitch for putting the onus on Tom in that situation.

I also can't believe he would accept not knowing the identity of the man Lisa fucked. Any man in their right mind would demand that name.

I kept hoping that he would be a lot less forgiving considering only she cheated.

The author is also playing a cheap trick on the readers by not telling what Tom did in Vegas, it is really starting to annoy me.

But he can have his annoying bits at times.

Wife is acting like a douchette. He's dumb for.lieing, but it one like. She is stereotypical ly manipulative.

2 of the dumbest fucking idiots I've ever seen in a story. K.K., you're such a talented writer, but this is now bordering on the absurd. Put it out of it's misery.

Very slow paced, but also very engaging. I like it and will continue on.

This whole thing is like that movie Ground Hog Day

This a great story, and I understand why things are happening the way they are, its just that there is really no reason to stay with her or to think you would want a future with her. She doesn't worry about him at all as he is dying, and later only cares for him out of guilt, and totally grudgingly at that. He is just recovering from a traumatic cardiac arrest, but she cant resist sticking a knife in him a few more times emotionally, just because she could. In the end he takes blame for something he didnt do, forgives her for what she did do, just to stay together. When the sex is no longer great, what exactly is he left with?

The characters are written as though they are unable to think their way out of a paper bag.Why hasn't Tom just asked to see the photos, as opposed to disputing them? Hard to read because the lack of normal response is so infuriating.

Why would you write a story about two people who are too stupid to live?

glad these idgits dont have guns lol

[Tom Boyer was Brad's best friend but Brad was always jealous that Tom had married Lisa. Brad smiled to himself as he thought about how quickly things can change.]

=== Brad is a real asshole.

The tragedy of errors of why Lisa did not find out until Tuesday (four days later) is beyond belief. Tom cannot make meaningful decisions about his healthcare doped up in a hospital. The police would go by the house several times, they would leave a note with contact information at her house, they would stop by his and her work place on Monday, they would not only call Zach but when not able to reach him, would talk to someone in HR at the company. In fact the police would (a) get Lisa's cell number by talking to the phone company and leave a message, and (b) depending on the phone and what model / year, they could get into his cell phone, but only if all else fails. There is 0% chance Lisa does not learn he is in the hospital on Monday. I also find it ridiculous that she is at the house for like 2-3 hours on Saturday and the skips over to a friend's house the rest of the time till Monday. Wtf? What if her husband had died over the weekend? After all she knew he had left his car and WALLET at the house, and took nothing else of note except the motorcycle (which apparently he knew he came with to Ben's club). If she gave a damn about her marriage, she would have staked out the house. Instead she believes that he is crashed in a hotel somewhere drunk (no wallet) or at a friend's house (she calls him on his cell phone once!!) even though she could literally go to his friend's places as ask people. Of course the later batch of photos some to confirm her suspicions. Even to the point that the neighbor telling her about all the police activity doesn't get her to do the ONE sensible thing which would be to call the freaking police department to ask about the Saturday visit. Nope. She is convinced (maybe out of her own guilt to justify her cheating). I get why she did what she did. Photos seem damning to the untrained eye. Tom did lie to her about his dirty (very little) Vegas secret (way less than her crap). I still cannot understand why Tom did not tell her about what he did in Vegas. Maybe I get the first time she confronted him, but shit as soon as adultery accusations come up then confess right away and stridently before the photos arrive. In many ways I blame her less for being tricked into the partial fuck of slimeball Brad, and more for her not being there for Tom in the hospital especially after she hears his voice-mail on her cell. Her reactions in the hospital are weird also, downplaying the severity. She was a real bitch there. Knowing all that would be hard to reconcile. Personally I think the story would have been far more interesting if she did not partially fuck Brad (the complete asshole) and instead went home but went another route and Tom did not come home. Then learns from the police. But all the rest still plays out. She would still have immense guilt but a reconciliation would be easier to swallow. Not that the two shouldn't end up back together, but the road should have been a lot harder than it plays out in the next two chapters the way the story is written.

"I now know that I can forgive you for what you did. I understand why it happened. You went over the line but you stopped. I believe that you wish it had never happened. So I will have to learn to live with that. For my part, I can't talk about what happened in Las Vegas other than to say I am truly sorry. It will not happen again."]

=== wtf? How did he get this far, this fast? And whether he promised someone or not, and regardless of whether she believes him, say what you did in Vegas. It was a comparatively trivial thing. At least tell her about it now and explain why you didn't tell her. So frustrating. I guess if he had a shred of intellect near the beginning this never would have happened.

First, please get someone who knows about medicine to proof read such material; Darvocet has been removed from the US formulary 17 years ago.

To convoluted. Tom's willing to let his marriage go down the drain to cover for someone.

Next, in this situation anyone would start calling the police and all local hospitals.

Not a bad plot line but you removed our ability for willing suspension of disbelief.

Writers here should realize that a very large proportion of the readers her are quite literate and perceptive.

As an example phenomenal writing look at Todd172, and read "The shack series".

Do keep at it BUT YOU NEED A PROOF READER.

Hey "First" from 7 months ago. This was set in 2003. Yes, the date is every couple of paragraphs. Pretty hard to miss. Yes, that is 20 years ago, yes, TWENTY. Well within the 17 years you mentioned. Who's the idiot now. Look in the mirror buddy. If you are going to flame someone, at least check your facts first.