All Comments on 'What Every Man Wants'

My happy husband can attest to the truth of this article! I follow the old adage of a "Lady in public, whore in private" and in turn, he follows me around like a happy puppy. We both get what we want with little friction...well plenty of friction when it counts!

Interesting.....but I was his mistress 1st and foremost. I continued in the relationship to be all the things that were described. The man checked out on ME. I was his whore in the bedroom, I adored him, I gave him praise and let him treat me like a princess. I worked hard for our relationship, while he sat back and did not do a damn thing to keep things good. One day he just checked out....changed. I stayed the same and he changed.

It is an interesting theory....but definitely not true of all cheaters. It is easy to blame the woman for not being interesting, or sexy, or taking care of the kids. But, I can tell you after being with a man who complained about his wife to me....and ended up divorcing wife for me. Those things are just a symptom of what is truly going on in the marriage. Ask the WIVES about how good of a man he is to her. Of course every man wants to look like he puts his wife up in a tower and simply adores her.....but cold hard bitch she is, she doesn't appreciate it, and steps all over his poor romantic little heart. Poor fella, and stupid women, (like I used to be) just eat it up. And that is how an affair starts....poor guy, I am so much better and sexier....I should really save him from that horrible bitch!

Fast forward 5 years.....after cheating on me numerous times(he of course denied it!), me always adapting to his wants and needs. He finally truly got caught cheating. He did exactly what he did with his ex, when I was the OW. He slandered me to all and anyone who would listen. I never loved his kids, I would never go out. Those are just 2 things. Want the honest truth? I loved his kids wholeheartedly and still miss them to this day. I wanted to be there stepmom. I did so much for them, and spent a ton of money to make there living situation better. So we could be a family. He got mad because I would ask he discipline them from time to time. It was my house too, and he never understood that. Even our counselor said that. I would never go out.....I practically begged him to take me out again. We went out all the time at 1st. Then my man started to go out, and couldn't go out unless he was so trashed he would pass out on the sidewalk. Then, if he was not passed out and I tried to help.....I would get verbally abused by him. I stayed, but I tried to put my foot down a bit and ask him to scale back the drinking when I was around. He refused. SO the solution was to leave me at home.

As I said those are 2 things. He left me for one of the other women. Her and I exchanged a few emails a few months later. She found out he still came to me for a while after for sex. He lied to her about that. She also found out how he had said it was over between us when we were still together.....and he was telling me how much he loved me and wanted to make things work. I also sent her a few emails to back this up. I gave her a very good description of how he was, and how there relationship was probably going. Things he was saying or do to seduce her, convince her he had never been happier. And how being with me really dragged him down.

Wanna know what happened? She said I had it all down to a tee. I had been there. I had been her at one point. I knew the things he would say and do to make himself look good. How misunderstood he was. She even told me....."I thought you were some crazy controlling vindictive spiteful woman, I am so sorry for what happened. You are truly one of the nicest people I have met" Why did she say that. I told her what to watch for. I told her exactly what happened in our relationship, I told her the kind of man he really was. And I was able to back it up with proof. Her and I remain close friends to this day......and she still maintains I am a great woman. Why? I wish her well with him each and every time we talk. I applaud her for being there for him, and understanding the kind of man he really is. But, I worry for the day he will hurt her too. I understand now what my actions did to his wife. ANd I regret them horribly.

This is a bit rambling.....will I ever slip up and go for a married guy again. Probably. But I will do it with my eyes open....and see a guy who is making a very selfish move.....and probably has a lovely, caring wife in his life. Who is probably like I was lonely, and confused about where the man she fell in love wtih went to one day.

Good luck to you all, and thanks for letting me vent.

Are you going to expand this and publish it as a book? You should. I've never heard any description of what men (that aren't severely damaged in some way) want.

so basicly men what everything....

well thats no help at all :(

In a committed relationship, this advice is pure gold! This really helped me....I've forgotten lately to show my fiancee I admire him and that I shouldn't nag so much! Thanks so much!

As a male, I completely approve of this article. You have pretty much said everything that I've been feeling in my relationship, which has taken a downward turn. I'm going to show my fiance this article, and hopefully upon reading this she understands my point of view.

To the person who said "men want everything, no help at all":

You completely missed the object of the article. Us men want to be appreciated. Just. Like. You.

In this day and age, its become too much about entitlement for women. Too mamy women think that men should have to bend over backwards for their attention, and "damn he better give me all I want or he gets nothing back".

What the author is trying to wake you up to is the fact that you need to make him feel appreciated and wanted. Its easy to make us guys feel 'needed', but most the time its needed for the wrong reasons.

Need us so you don't have to get a job, need us for physical labor, need us to give you free time. But then you call him lazy for watching a football game on his day off. Step back, take a look at yourself and get real.

Relationships are not 'what can/will they do for me', they should be 'what can I do for them' or 'what can we do for us'.

Re-read the part about working all day and coming home to bitching and yelling. First thing that crossed my mind as a husband was "do I come home and give her any reason to hate having me around?"

If your first thought was anything like "I don't care what kind of day he's had, he should be putting me first!", then sadly, its extremely obvious that you are the problem.

You have certainly done your homework! Without a doubt, THE best analysis I've ever heard. It's taken me twenty-some-odd years to learn this stuff, and I'm a guy! Thank you.

- A divorced romantic man, who admits his short-comings and pushes on with hope.

To the Author of this piece - Wow. I found myself wanting to marry you! You get it, fully and completely. Your article gives me hope.....maybe someday I will run into someone who understands! I've been married for 20 yrs. I think you were writing about my wife. I am nothing but a paycheck to her - a paycheck that still gets called lazy despite consistently working 70 hour weeks - for her. After all this time, have finally found myself "looking". I never wanted to stray but I I'm more alone in this marriage than if I was single. Thanks for taking the time to write this piece.

Puh-leaze there are thousands and thousands of articles about what men want and need. If anything it seems women put more effort into trying to please men than vice versa.

Men spending hours trying to figure out women and what we need is a lie in my opinion as it seems men spend hours trying to figure how to fuck women.

It's another lie in my opinion that women would never put up with 'working all day and handing over our check only to come home and get yelled at'. Going by statistics most gals do put up with working all day and then come home to do some more work. It seems for many gals they then get 'yelled at' and whined at for sex.

"They want to know what we think, but not about the sale at the grocery store, to them it doesn’t matter!"

So in other words men only want to know what women think if it benefits them or they like it.

" It is just about motivation, use that, there is no You forgot the trash again, "

So in other words use sex as a transaction to get him to share in household duties.

It seems what every man wants is to be some idealized hero worshiped for every little thing he does, never corrected or shown his errors, and have sex used as an incentive to do anything that could make his partner's life easier.

Reading this in an era of feminazis and wokism is a special treat. As a het gal I find this essay very useful. And yes, a few advices make me unconfortable (those sad but true nuggets of wisdom that we ignore because they don't fit our inner fantasies or because they touch insecurities). All in all, men and women are much more alike than most people think. We are allies, not ennemies and we should invest time and effort to know each other better. Win win situation.

Re << once women made the soap, spun the cloth, plowed fields, baked bread, ground flour, knit the socks, and still had the energy to kiss him hello and wrap her arms around him when he walked in >>

And you know this how?