What Ffion did Next Pt. 01

Ffion had been C's husband until C started an affair with Jenny. When the two women became lovers C kept a place in her heart for her husband. He was encouraged to transition, to fulfil the feminine desires he'd always harboured, to become Ffion. And the three of them agreed, Ffion could share the new arrangement as a woman, as a house keeper, a a submissive. After a traumatic trial weekend, Ffion returns home to change her life forever.

Ffion woke and stretched. Had it all been a dream? She was back in the bed she had shared with C but she was alone in to house and C was two hundred miles away, lying in the arms of another. Ffion sat up in bed remembering the week she had spent away with C in Jenny's home. Ffion had spent the week facing a new reality. She had left the house where she had lived as H, lived as a man in a relationship with his wife, partner, lover, the mother of his children but now C had a new lover. C had fallen in love with a woman and was even now lying in her warm embrace, two female bodies entwined, two womanly hearts entranced.

Lying alone in the big bed, Ffion thought about the future she been offered. She thought about living in submission to C and Jenny, a domestic life of chores. She thought about accepting the physical punishments and emotional hurts that had been heaped upon her, about her bruised body, about jealously facing C and Jenny as they made love together. She thought about C's enjoyment at Ffion's tears. She thought about the humiliations she had faced when C's sister and brother in law had come to dinner, about being introduced to them as a servant in a dress. She thought about all these things and smiled.

Ffion felt her body in a tight white waist training corset, white cotton knickers and cute nightie. She thought about what she might wear today, she could chose a bra and pants, a soft strappy vest, a skirt and jumper. She felt her chest with her new and growing boobs, her finger lingering to brush a sensitive nipple. She reached over her knickers and knew that what had one been a manly organ was now shrivelled and rejected. Ffion surged with contentment, filled with desire to be obedient, chaste, and accepting, living for C and her lover to use as they please.

Two hundred miles away, in a cottage bathed in birdsong, eyes opened in the soft morning light, lips met in a kiss, arms pulled bodies closer.

"I'm in love. Today I'm your lover, just the two of us, here, being in love," C told Jenny.

They kissed again. They didn't think about Ffion but simply luxuriated in feeling each others body close. They had slept naked and, as they gently woke, their skin cleaved together. Kisses that took a moment, kisses that bound their hearts together as their arms caressed.

"You make me so happy, my little love," murmured Jenny.

Without thinking, without asking, fingers explored bodies. The kisses became more intense, lingering, sensual, deep, profound. Private parts of bodies were shared, enjoyed, exited. Faces flushed, they looked into each others eyes, then gave themselves to shared pleasure. No words were needed, gentle touches then shuddering bodies. Then with sighing breath they held each other close, trembling together at each soft touch. They lost track of time, dozing in each others arms.

"I need to pee," said C, and pulling back the bed clothes.

She stood, leaned over to kiss Jenny, then walked naked out of the bedroom, hoping and knowing that Jenny would be feasting her eyes.

They sat in the kitchen.

"This is a drag, having to make our own coffee," said Jenny.

They laughed together.

"Are you sure your OK with this? I love you and I'm so happy you asked me to move in. I don't want to spoil it by having a weird relationship with my ex and imposing it on you."

C was looking worried.

"I really like Ffion and I like the idea of what we're going to do. And I like it when you twist the knife in her heart. It's as if you grow taller and more powerful. It's quite sexy," Jenny laughed.

"I want to make sure it's about us, about you and me. I don't want it to be about you, me and Ffion. I want to be loyal to Ffion but I want her to be discreet, in the background, low maintenance," C insisted.

"I quite agree. Much as I enjoyed chastising her I don't think I could keep up that intensity. If she's truly submissive she needs to get on with things without needing a lot of attention," nodded Jenny.

They kissed and smiled to seal their agreement.

"But I would like you to beat her occasionally," said C.

"Of course. And will you carry on breaking her heart?" asked Jenny.

"Poor thing, oh my poor Ffion," smirked C.

C picked up her phone and messaged Ffion: 'Get rid of all your male clothes today, take the good stuff to charity shops, the rest to the dump, use my old bike with the rack and paniers, message me tonight', then put her phone down. She went to collect toast from the toaster, buttered it and brought it over to the table to share with Jenny. They drank their coffee and planned their day.

Ffion stepped out of the shower, dried herself, then pulled on a pair of navy lace knickers and a white moulded cup t-shirt bra. She checked herself in the mirror then went into the bedroom, selected a cream scoop neck t-shirt. She slipped it on then checked to see whether it revealed a little cleavage and smiled to herself when she saw that it did. A dark green skater skirt with pale green polka dots followed by a denim jacket and she was ready to make up and accessorise. She was at home now, she was no longer in a distant part of the country. It was her first appearance as a woman where she might bump into someone she knew. The thought made her anxious. Would she be able to set foot outside the front door?

First she went into the kitchen to make some breakfast. She boiled the kettle for coffee then glanced at her phone and read C's message. Ffion gulped, this was a challenge. She ate her breakfast then went back upstairs to do her makeup.

Ffion started by pulling out her old male clothes and sorting them out into piles. Underwear went straight into a bin bag to be thrown out for recycling. The next decision was between things that were old and worn that were to be recycled and those for charity shops. By mid morning she had more bin bags ready in the recycling pile and a mound of clothes to deliver to her chosen charities. Time for a break and a biscuit.

Ffion sat in the kitchen and picked up her phone. She dialled a work colleague, Amy, who was both a close friend and a union organiser. In her previous persona as H, Ffion had helped Amy as she left her marriage and come out as a lesbian single mother. Ffion's heart was in her mouth as her phone rang; she was sure Amy would be sympathetic but her nerves were jangling all the same.

"Hi H, I thought you were back in work today. Did you have a nice week off?" Amy was warm and welcoming in tone.

"I need to talk, I need your advice," Ffion began.

"You sound a bit shaky. Are you OK?"

"Um, yes, I'm OK but I need to talk."

"I'll tell you what, I've got an appointment in town this afternoon. I'll leave work a bit early and see you at that cafe near the river. Its that OK with you?" Amy told her.

"That's great, what time?"

"How about half one?"

"Thanks Amy, I'll see you later."

The line went dead and Ffion squirmed. 'I can do this,' she told herself but the confidence of last week, when she been away with C and Jenny, was evaporating. She took the bin bags of recycling outside; she would take them to the local recycling centre, one bag at a time, over the next few days. She went into the garage, raised the seat on C's old bike then loaded the first lot of charity shop clothes. It would take four trips. Ffion would take one this morning, come back home, get ready to see Amy, load the bike and drop the second lot off on the way into the city. She prepared her bag with keys, purse and makeup, went for a pee then set out.

Ffion wheeled the bike onto the street and pedalled away feeling that every window was staring at her. Staring and disapproving. What if someone shouted at her, what if Amy was a TERF, what if, what if, what if...? She edged into traffic and headed for her first chosen charity. She knew she be OK there, she'd brought women's clothes there before and knew the woman in charge was tolerant or even encouraging. She pulled up outside, unloaded the bike and went inside.

"Where can I leave some donations," asked Ffion.

"Hello again. Put them just over there, dear," came the reply. "I was wondering when you'd be in next. There's a lovely Jo Brown's tea dress on the rack, just your size."

She showed Ffion a beautiful dark red dress with applique roses around its flared skirt and a small decorative lace up section at the back. It was smart, feminine and a little bit steam punk. Ffion slipped into the little cubicle, changed into the dress and stepped out again. Her eyes met the assistant and she smiled.

"It's lovely. Thank you for being so kind. I'll take it."

She twirled in the shop then changed back. When she went to pay Ffion could see that a necklace and bangle with little glass roses had been put on the counter. Ffion paid happily, said he good byes and headed for home.

She got back at noon and reloaded the bike. She had an hour and a half to get ready to see Amy. Time to drop another load off at a different shop, then cycle into the town centre but most importantly, she had time to try the new dress. She would make an effort to look good for Amy.

Ffion undressed to her underwear in the bedroom and slipped the dress on. With the necklace and bangle she looked smart. With the denim jacket over the top she looked smart casual. Almost perfect. The dress wasn't quite hanging right. She wondered what to do then striped once more and changed her bra for a pastel pink balconette bra she'd brought a couple of weeks earlier. Now her bust looked a little more up front, and the dress hung beautifully. She pulled on a pair of thick black tights, touched up her mascara, did her nails in a rose pink and matched her lipstick to the dress. She grabbed a pair of H's Dr Martens boots to complete the slightly punky look. She grabbed her bag and set off.

The second shop accepted her donation and she chose a skirt and top from the display. Having paid, she headed for the door and heard a sotto voice 'wierdo' from the woman behind the counter. Feeling a little flustered she was glad to be out on the street and back on the bike, heading for the town centre.

Ffion arrived at the cafe five minutes early and, cycling past, could see that Amy wasn't there yet. She locked the bike up and went to sit on a bench where see could watch for Amy's arrival. Ten minutes passed before she saw Amy heading to the cafe. Ffion's stomach lurched; there was coming out to strangers, coming out to her in-laws with no choice but this was her own choice. Ffion was coming out to a friend and colleague on the terrace of a cafe in the sunshine in her home town. See watched as Amy looked around then settled at a table. Now or never. Ffion felt herself shaking as she stood and started walking towards the cafe. She tried not to look at anyone. She walked up to the table and touched a chair.

Ffion heard Amy's voice, " I'm sorry but I'm expecting someone."

Amy looked up and Ffion saw her jaw drop.

"You really have got something to tell me!" said Amy as Ffion sat down.

They ordered lunch then Ffion set out her long held feelings about gender and how she was beginning a new life as the person she wanted to be. She tried her best to skirt around C and Jenny. Ffion simply kept to saying that C and Ffion were still in a relationship but they were no longer a couple.

Amy looked Ffion in the eye. "There's someone else, isn't there? But it's OK if you can't talk about it."

Ffion simply nodded. "I'll try to tell you soon, but not now. The main thing right now is that I'm going to live as Ffion and I need to come back to work."

"Don't worry, I'll help with work," Amy reassured her. "and I have to say, you look pretty good. I'll help with you being Ffion as well, if you like."

Amy had to go on to her meeting. Ffion paid for the lunches and they hugged as they parted. Ffion was about to walk out of the cafe when she realised she needed to pee. She lowered her eyes and walked toward the ladies toilet as unobtrusively as she could. She walked through the door half expecting someone to challenge her. She walked into the loo, into the nearest cubicle, lowered her tights and knickers and sat down to pee. She peed, wiped, flushed, left the cubicle, washed her hands then back out into the cafe. A woman brushed past her a she left. It was uneventful. Ffion sighed with relief as she left the cafe and unlocked her bike.

Back at home Ffion changed back into the skirt and jumper. She loaded the panniers and rack ready for the next trip to a charity shop. The third shop she chose was further away and they happily accepted her old male clothes. Here she bought a warm jacket and a shoulder bag. By the time she got home it was too late to do any more trips. She set at her laptop and started to research what she needed to do to make this change in her life. The first step she took was to email HR at work requesting a meeting. Next Ffion began to explore the legal requirements of transition. It appeared to be an long process, taking at least two years to legally change. But the first step was clear, she would change her name officially do she researched to options then clicked on the UK Deed Poll Office website. She was on the way.

Ffion messaged C to share her news.

C and Jenny were walking hand in hand in the dusk, heading home from an early evening drink at the local pub. The lanes were quiet and they murmured happily to each other. They felt close, they felt intimate, they felt love. C's phone pinged. She pulled it out of her bag and looked at notifications.

"It's just Ffion," she said and put the phone back in her bag without reading the message.

Jenny slipped an arm around C's waist. They turned to each other and kissed.

"Let's have an early night together."

They kissed again and walked toward the cottage as the shades of evening drew in, bodies close and warm. Later, in the warmth of the dark bed room, their bodies entwined, two hearts joined in joy.

Ffion made herself a meal and sat, lonely, watching her phone for a reply from C. She watched some TV for a couple of hours then went to bed alone.

Ffion woke and stretched. She checked her phone. So no response from C. The day stretched in front of her. She busied herself removing all traces of H from the house, two more trips to charity shops and a mountain of things went to the dump. And all the while she yearned for contact from C but all the while her silence left Ffion in no doubt of her place in the pecking order. In the evening she messaged C again but again she received no response. On the third morning she had an email from HR offering an appointment in two weeks time. She contacted Amy and asked her to come along in her capacity as union organiser.

Ffion completed her application to adopt her new name, changing her given name to Ffion and her family name to match C's, and stated thinking about the next steps. She could feel optimistic about the changes in her life. She was experimenting with different looks, then walking out into the city. While some of her neighbours greeted her politely, she felt others were shunning her. On Amy's recommendation she visited a LGBT friendly hair salon; her hair was almost shoulder length now and she had it styled into a neat bob. She picked up working from home and devoted a schedule of doing a few hours early in the day, walking out late morning to get out of the house and buy fresh food or to rediscover the city from a new perspective.

Shoes were problematic, so she hit Ebay and treated herself to a wide selection in large sizes. She was getting the hang of walking in low heels and, thanks to the combination of her diet, the tablets she been given by C and sleeping in a corset, she was staring to feel luxuriantly feminine. By the time her HR appointment came round she'd been presenting as a woman for a month and exclusively wearing woman's underwear for even longer.

The only cloud in her life was her yearning to be with C. Ffion had messaged C every day at first, reporting news and progress but without response until she received and terse message: 'unless it's vital please stop bothering me, speak when you're spoken to'. C had then sent a series of photos of herself and Jenny, living in what appeared to be domestic bliss. The last photo was a selfie of the two of them, in bed together, smiling at the camera, wearing matching cute floral satin chemises, sexually confident, happy in each others arms. The final message read 'don't fret, we still want you here but you must remember your status'.

In a country cottage, miles away, the happiness was contagious. C and Jenny infected each other daily, smiling for their soul mate, close, warm and content.

On the morning of the HR appointment Ffion rose early, showered, attended to any stray body hair and starters being ready. She'd been looking at other women in work situations, thinking about style and make up. She made up, to look discretely feminine, quiet colours, pale blue nails, light pink lipstick, a dab of blusher; all neat and presentable. She grabbed pink panties from her drawer without a thought, then chose a white full cup bra with lace ţrim, a white vest, again with lace trim, then a white plain linen blouse. Her tights were light tan and her skirt was knee length dark blue cord. She finished with a light blue long cardigan and navy grannie boots with an inch heel. She accessorised with a necklace of cute red glass flowers with matching bangle and clip on earrings with a small glass stud. If all went well today she promised herself she'd get her ears pierced this afternoon.

She met Amy in the foyer and waited to be called upstairs. It was strange for Ffion to be in such familiar territory. H had walked through to his office in the design team past the reception desk so many times, yet she felt as though she was in alien territory. She saw colleagues walk past and give a second look as they realised who was sitting there. Working from home during the pandemic had changed everyone's work habits, so the office was quiet in comparison to normal times but nothing prepared Ffion for how odd she was feeling.

Gill from HR came down and ushered Ffion and Amy into a meeting room. The company technical director was waiting for them. After a brief exchange of pleasantries Gill got down to business.

"Thanks for coming in today. Amy gave me a heads up about what must be a major decision in your life and I'm pleased to say the company will support you in these changes. You will understand that we will guarantee to meet our legal obligations but there may be circumstances where we will also need to take into account the sensitivities of some colleagues and customers. In the short term we've decided that you should continue working from home until the local management have consulted with stakeholders and reported to the senior leaders in two weeks time. We will then clarify in writing. Thanks again for coming in."

The technical manager left and a Ffion and Amy prepared to leave Gill apologised.

"I tried to explain to the management team that their approach was wrong and heading towards unlawful but I have to warn you that one or two people in this organisation are nasty little bigots. I'm really sorry."

Ffion smiled, "I thought it didn't sound like you speaking. I've always thought you were decent. Let's see what they say in two weeks time. Thanks for telling me what's happening behind the scenes and I know you'll be trying to do the right thing."