All Comments on 'What Happens in Vegas...'

Hey, folks,

After submitting this story, I found some spelling/grammar errors. I submitted a revised version but this one posted first. Hopefully, in a day or so, the edited version of the story will replace this one. Please don't hold a couple of typos against me!

Thanks,

HLD

it's bailed as a "romance" and i guess it has some, from some POV; but the story is really about cheating on a relationship with another.

there are 7 Lit. pages and "Jared" was mentioned, I think, ONCE. "Oh, when I get home, Jared, we will have a discussion on our relationship, something we should have done months ago."

and then she said Jared must be going out to some titty bar.

what kind of information is that, from someone who is are fucking around, and recounting those activities for the audience?

the author, an extremely able writer, never give "Jared", Shelly's boyfriend, a chance to develop (bad or good; the guy's name is mentioned only via Shelly's inner thoughts! and she made him to be some lazy-assed punk. yeah, he's as handsome as Rick, whom she's fucking/romancing in Las Vegas!

Oh, I can stay like this forever, Shelly mused, with Rick's dick inside her as they lay there in some fantasy world,,,,,,,

point is, the story is about CHEATING, first and last. sure, there's some "romance" within cheating, for the cheaters; but to argue that two people who are fucking around while committed to others ---- that they will be able to fuck and sleep cozily like those few nights in Las Vegas,,,,, that's silly fantasies!

on, on the other hand, if they had broken off the ties to their respective boyriend and girlfriend,,,, that's another story, whether or not there's fucking, romance, or what-not. this is not one of those situations, is it? this is a bout two people emailing each other for some time; they decide to have a rendezvous in Las Vegas and tell each other, as they fuck, "Fuck, baby, this is heaven! I can stay like this forever!"

idiotic, really,,,,,,,,

overall an interesting and erotic read. The above response needs to realize this is fiction. the story doesnt have to be real world applicable and who cares about the morals, that is not the point of the story whatsoever.

Hell, noones married. Cheat on a boyfriend? That has what moral tag?? A shift in priorities!!!

But at least 2 out of 4 are happy!!??!!

I disagree with the previous poster who complained that the story was about cheating, not romance. I found Rick and Shelley's time in Las Vegas very sexy and very romantic. I suppose they "cheated" on their significant others but nowhere did the author state that those relationships were explicitly exclusive. That is what is often assumed but perhaps it shouldn't be.

I think Rick and Shelley made the right decisions to break up with their SO's. Neither relationship would've been happy long term, given the two lovers' feelings. Better all around not to walk that path.

Good job, good story. Thanks.

... I thought it was written by a woman (especially since it was written from Shelley's perspective). Wonderful description; very hot. I am sure that the guys like it from the stroke point of very. Only problem is that the story is too long - it should have been divided into two or three chapters.

If they had to lie to their SO's about what they were doing, it was cheating.

WOW Another GREAT STORY. This is one that didn't stay in vegas

I agree with the other comments, if she were ready for a change, she should have broken up before the trip. And he was a liar ... I love you on the phone to the girl back home with his lover on the other side of the door ... he is a cheater and he will cheat on Shelley. The fantasy was in good coming from a beginning like that.

I seldom read long stories unless they grab me on page one. I read this one and loved many aspects of it: the conflicts both endured, her illness and how he handled it, the playfulness, the comfort, and the ending. Most of all the characters came off the screen (page) as human. I'm impressed. Thanks.

This was very well written and you made the characters 'real' and likeable. I don't share the 'cheating' issue that many of the other reviewers noted. Clearly, each of your characters had a conscience and dealt with their issues in their own way, just as people do in real life. It was an excellent story and kept me interested throughout. Keep up the great work! :)

This story probably would fit better in the erotic couplings category, but it works in romance, too. It's just that the cheating issue makes it seem more appropriate in erotic couplings, even though the two protagonists do have feelings for each other. The cheating actually doesn't bother me too much, unlike some other posters. You can't always help falling in love with another person, however unfair it may be to the person you're already involved with. It's not that I advocate cheating, though -- I think that a person should have the balls to end their primary relationship rather than trying to have two at once.

I liked the story, but to me it's not your best. The ending, IMO, seemed a bit tacked on and abrupt. Also, it seems unclear what the chemistry will be like between these two characters, long-term. Sure, they have the passion for each other and Rick took care of her while she was sick. About the illness, when he took care of her, that just seems like it was the right thing to do, and yet she was so touched that he did. I would venture a guess that even a total jerk would at least get help if they saw somebody burning up with a fever. Maybe they wouldn't be as tender as Rick, but sheesh, it's just common human courtesy. It's a heart breaking that Shelley felt she couldn't tell Rick about their baby, that is totally unfair of her to do that, especially when he clearly wanted to be involved in her life, still. What was he to think? If she had thought that it was just a quick tryst and didn't want him in her life, it would make sense that she would go the route of being a single mom. Since she supposedly had romantic feelings for him, though, it doesn't make sense that she would do that, at least, it doesn't to me.

not your best either. Should have been posted in the slut wives category. Glad they enjoyed the vacation, but if they were so enamoured with the online relationship then they should have had the balls to break it off with the significant others. Hell, at the end of the day they were cheating before they went to Vegas, erotic chat etc. If they had given that attention to their current relationship then maybe it would have worked out better. Hell, the woman's even cheating at work, taking 40 hrs to do 20 hrs of work? Not who I'd want working for me! In the end, they are both cheaters who will cheat on whoever they are with as soon as things get stale.

nice story, but i felt the ending could have been written differently to make it more dramatic

To the commenter who said to lighten up about the cheating aspect and that that was not what the story was about, I disagree.

The story is about two people who want something better and will hang on to what they have as a security blanket until they find something better.

Can you say mercenary?

This comes from the age of do whatever feels best for you and screw everyone else. Why do you think that not only the divorce rate for first marriages is high, but for second marriage as well.

This story is about two selfish people who will keep looking for the greener grass.

The story itself is well written by the author, but certainly demonstrates the weakness in society today as a whole.

I was actually surprised that there were several people out there that recognized this in their comments.

@HLD: Great story. Not much more that I can say. The sex was hot and raunchy, and the characters felt real. I enjoyed this almost as much as your "Spring Break" and subsequent stories, which are among my favorites on this site.

@the "slut-wife" and "cheating" commenters: I honestly don't get it. What is it about all the comments about the cheating and how they got away with it and no one told the story of the people they cheated on and blah blah... Are these people in grade school or something? Does every story have to have a moral and be morally uplifting? Should these people even be surfing a site that has erotica on it?

The _title_ is "What Happens in Vegas..." and not "What Happened To Those Left Behind While The Other Two Went To Vegas." The story was obviously posted here, in Romance, because it's about the romance between the two people who went to Vegas, Rick and Shelley, and not about Jared or (boolean operator) Terri, who were so peripheral to the story that I had to look up their names. It was about two people who found a connection to each other, which was primarily sexual but blossomed into more, had lots and lots and LOTS of sex over a short period of time (oral and anal and dear god! alternative nonmissionary sex positions not approved by the Pope, oh my!) who then re-evaluated their situations, split up with their current partners in an apparently adult manner, and moved on with their lives. They found their passion had consequences, they dealt with the resulting child and situation in an adult manner. There. A concise summary fit for a book report for those out there who have no reading-comprehension skills.

Well, your erotic writing is as good as always. Must say, though, this story felt more erotic than "romantic", although I understand why it would be categorized in the latter. I am saying this because as a reader I only perceived flat characters emotionally and the ending was more like wham-- Here are the results! Erotically, of course, it was pulled off well. To tell you the truth, I even forgot the couple was cheating, so I am not sure if this story's back scenario was the best for it. It felt more like a reminder... yeah, we're cheating. Mmm...story-wise, not my favorite except sexually.

I thought for sure that the pictures of them from the airport would have some significance to the plot -- that one of them would be found by a significant other, precipitating a big messy breakup or something. Instead, they just went nowhere. As a writer, I think it's a mistake to introduce a prop and not use it.

What was the point of the strange taking their picture at the airport? What was the point of her gettin pregnant? Why did she ignore him for a year? What was the point of her hiding the child from him? Why wasn't he angry at all about this? A previous poster said they handled it in an adult way, however I would say she handled it like a child and he handled it like a robot, neither was real. But the main point is that there was no purpose to any of it, or at least it was very poorly executed.

Great story with an amazing cast of characters! A sizzling must read. Loved the ending, thank you for writing such an amazing story.

Always-

Scarlet Butler ;-)

Goddammit, I cried reading. The story develops beautifully: not too hurried, full of realistic confusion, agitation and fears, lending to a more urgent atmosphere in having the two individuals have themselves lost in the moment. Beautiful.

I am sure the person who came up with the phrase "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" was an adulterer. Why do people think that a place like Vegas or anywhere for that matter absolves you of your commitment to your partner or spouse. They are nothing more than a couple of cheater, this is not some sweet innocent romance. The worst part is her letting herself get pregnant what a stupid slut. I gave it a "2".

Lonewolf2013

Definitely like this story although I feel that "Impersonnating Brianne" is better. What truly amazes me are the negative posts. This is Literotica people not necessarily the real world. Enjoy it for what was written. To the people who critized the "taking of the Polariod" at the airport, it's called foreshadowing. It is a technique to tell you that they will end up together. It may have been a little late in the story but it clearly signalled the outcome. As far as the ending, I think it could have been slightly better developed but I can see her thinking that her tryst has run its course and wanting to distance herself from the memory. If nothing else than to insulate herself from continually being hurt. And keeping the child a secret makes sense since she didn't think he would breakup with his wife and she didn't want to be the cause. For them to go their separate ways, breakup with their partners and then reconverge makes perfect sense. At least this way each party is making an independent decision unencumbered by external pressures. Enjoyed your story. Sorry you've stopped writing.

Your female characters tend to have a hole in their head.

All of them make ridiculously stupid decisions.

I wouldn't even have called this a romance. There was nothing but sex. Ok im sorry, he took care of her for a couple days when she had strep. But she also told him she felt sick and her whole body hurt and he fucked her? That is not believable behavior to me. Yeah they made each other tingle but there was still nothing but sex. Every time they needed to talk they kept putting it off. There is no romance or relationships without communication. This is almost entirely a stroke story with a bit of plot to glue it together.

You never fail to turn a seemingly sad tale into a happily ever after. This story (like everything else you wrote) has just the right amount of everything. I mean that. I sincerely hope & pray to see more of your work(s). Please, please, please write again. You have one fan here who will eagerly be awaiting your next story...

Kinda hoped the story ended by both of them being hit by a bus.

I love your stories, they're amazing, but there's a special place in hell for people that go through that much to fuck around on their spouses, or just cheat in general.

Excellent this is a story were the sex complements the plot were the characters a fully fleshed emorionally. this one for aspiting writers use as a blue print

Great characters, good story. 5/5

3 ⭐ ... That's all that I can do . Both of them were Cheaters, nothing more, nothing less. She should have already been out of her last relationship before heading for Vegas. He shouldn't have went to meet her, or split with Terri before he caught his flight. No romance here ... Just lust as was mentioned several times. A sad tale that ended with a unplanned child.