What Humans Do Very Well

Seeing the mother ship for the first time changed everything, everything I'd ever known, thought, believed or hoped for in this life. Sure, I'd seen that big mother on screen. But, in person, the immense gravitational reality of that huge space ship sort of crushed my little psyche, squashed it flat, rendered it pathetically insignificant, leaving me feeling so tiny and uninformed as to be meaningless.

The fact that I was one of the chosen, one of just a thousand people selected, by THEM, to ascend into that thing, me, from a world population of eight billion people, really didn't change my perspective much. If anything, I felt even tinier. What could I bring to the discussion? I'm not a scientist, politician, priest, shaman, or even particularly smart. I'm a carpenter. I drink beer, watch sports on TV. I like fishing and river rafting. I'm not married or have kids. How the hell could I have been chosen by Them to act as an "intermediary" between the human race and their...space race?

But I was, apparently a totally random thing. And tomorrow, I ascend. Tonight, I drink.

Strange how the bar scene seemed so – different. That is, sitting there in that club, flirting and drinking and trying to just relax and be normal – a pretty regular thing for me – I felt like I was seeing it all from in a whole new way, like, how a space man/alien might see it. And I observed that, as a species, mankind is kind of unsophisticated and maybe even a little crude, but we have a certain energy about us. We love life, live it with a kind of passion and gusto.

Is that what I will tell Them about us? I left early, went back to the hotel alone and tried to sleep.

The morning dawned gray and overcast. But that didn't matter in the least. Weather is just another earth phenomenon and today I consort with aliens. Hell, the mother ship acts like a big umbrella over most of the city anyway. And, I'm just too damned excited too care about weather. Today, I'm part of history.

The government people direct us to a hotel conference room where I meet my fellow ascenders. They all have that same wide eyed, confused look, deer in the headlights. I notice that they come in all ages, all types, men and women, all colors. No kids. There's an orientation session, but it's useless. How can these busybody government types hope to prep us for meeting an alien species in a space ship nobody's been inside before?

Of course, we are told that we can back out if we want. Once inside that thing, they assure us, there's no protection. We take all responsibility for our choice. There's no guarantee we won't be kidnapped and whisked away to some distant zoo planet somewhere.

But everybody there seems committed, seems willing, seems excited, though very nervous, to find out what will happen. We all know this is a chance to do something very important.

I see her standing there, a backpack on, looking as lost as I'm sure I look. She's a little younger than me, cute, but dressed down quite a bit, comfortable, practical clothes. Of course, this isn't an event you get dressed up for. She's the kind of girl I'd approach in a bar – smart, funny, healthy...cute. I'm about to approach her there in the big room when the announcement comes to get on the buses.

We exchange a look and it's like instant recognition. I mean, I felt like I could have said nothing, taken her hand and it would have seemed as natural as if we'd been together since high school.

"Hi, I'm Travis," I say.

"Sonya," she replies with a quick smile.

"May I sit by you, Sonya?"

"Oh my god, yes. Thank you, Travis, yes, that would be great," she gushes and then we are on our way.

I take her hand.

The buses drop us off in the middle of the city park. We assemble on the lawn. Then, before we even know whats happening, zip, we are standing in a bright light inside an immense room. Just like that we are inside the mother ship.

There's no orientation session there. It's dark, though the crowd of us are standing in a large spotlight. We mill around, a murmur of low voices, then in another blip we find ourselves transported to another large room, this one well lit. It's got chairs, couches, tables, some food, drinks, bathrooms, it looks like a hotel conference room, a very ritzy hotel. There's even soft music. It's...comfortable.

Sonya and I find a couch and sit. She is quivering slightly. I hold her hand and she squeezes mine. Nothing happens. It's like we were invited there to just sit and enjoy the accommodations.

Then, after fifteen minutes or so, the voice. It is immense, as big as the ship itself. A woman's voice, soft, gentle even, but full and authoritative, and it fills the room.

At first the voice speaks gibberish, maybe an alien language or something. But then the words come clear: Welcome, Terrans.

Everybody stirs, some gasp. The first inter-spacial species contact.

Thank you for choosing to be here. We have tried to make you comfortable. You will hear each other and our voice in your native language.

"Why?" somebody yells, "Why are we here?"

You are here to represent your kind.

Oh fucking great, is my first thought. How am I gonna do that?

You are the fruit of seeds we planted on this planet a long time ago. We will determine if you have developed into fruition.

"What's fruition?" somebody yells.

We will determine if you meet standards, guidelines, criteria, the expectations of the progenitors, who hoped this planet would yield an intelligent, worthy species.

This unsettles the crowd, a few people sound upset, indignant, but most sound just plain worried, anxious.

"What if we're not?" some guy calls out, a voice of defiance.

No harm will come. We will leave.

Sounds like rejection to me.

"Can I get off this ship now?" a woman's panicky voice comes from the back.

No. Not yet.

Several sobs rise up from around the room.

A strong female voice calls out, "What do you want from us?"

Nothing. We can learn all we need by observing you.

And that's it, the last we hear from the voice for awhile. Several people call out questions. How long will we be here? How did you choose us? Why can't I get off the ship? But no answers come. Within a few minutes the tenor of the voices become more indignant. Then a few people get angry. Next thing there's a couple of guys barging around the room looking for exits. There are none. Several women become hysterical.

Little groups form, people gathering to complain, exchange ideas, discuss, mostly complain. Sonya and I end up with a group of people who discuss doing something, act somehow, to show Them that we are an intelligent, worthy species.

But what? Dance? Sing? Recite poetry? Break out our cell phones and show them pictures of our kids? What the hell can ordinary folks do to show an alien that earthlings are...cool.

Time passes. There's a scuffle off to one side. A fight, loud voices. A woman shrieks. A group actually does begin singing, hymns. Then they start to pray. Okay, that's at least something.

The voice doesn't return. More time passes. We start getting tired. A man starts demanding to leave in a loud voice. The sobbing continues here and there.

Sonya and I, for lack of anything else to do, talk, exchanging personal information. She works for a surveying company in northern California and is going to university to become a fitness consultant. Grew up in Humboldt County, someplace I'd never heard of. She likes kayaking, hiking, good music, dancing. Wants to travel to Italy someday.

Talking like this helps relieve the tension for me. I'm finding myself liking this girl, and she seems to like me. We'd probably date after all this is over, if she didn't live so far away from my home in Louisville.

We form a quick bond. Being thrown together to do this amazing thing, the need for a friend to share it with, and somehow, being asked to represent humanity, causes all our normal filters and defenses to break down almost immediately between us. The fact that she is so cute and smart helps too.

"Do you think we should, like, do something to show them we're, you know, a, um, worthy species?" she asks, her voice betraying the absurdity of even having to ask the question.

"I can juggle," I say, "Frame a three bedroom house."

"I can hang a spoon on my nose," Sonya laughs. "Pretty good with a hoola hoop, too."

The Voice interrupts us. Thank you. We have learned enough.

We all kind of relax a bit and get a feeling of closure. Okay. Cool. We're like, done, right?

"How did we do?" some wonk calls out.

We will leave.

"Are you coming back?"

No answer.

"Fuck you! Assholes!" is the immediate reply.

Okay, I think, That's exactly what the space lady needed to know.

Sonya looks at me, me at her. This is bad. How fucking disappointing. I get an inspiration.

"Will you do something with me?" I whisper to her. "Follow my lead?"

She doesn't answer directly, but she takes my hand when I stand up from the couch.

"Hey!" I call out to the ceiling. "Hey! I want to show you something."

The lights go out in the big room and suddenly Sonya and I are lit in a single strong round spot of light.

"Let's show them what humans are really good at," I whisper to her, smiling. Then I pull her close and we kiss. It's a great kiss, a cinematic, deep, tongue probing, romantic kind of kiss. Sonya is into it and I'm frankly enjoying the hell out of it, too.

We kiss for quite awhile, then the voice comes back.

Go on.

Go on? Go on? Okay. I pull Sonya back to me and this time I'm kissing her lips, face, neck and, without even thinking about it, slide a hand up her shirt, then roam down with it to caress her butt. She responds by running her hands through my hair, grabbing my ass and wrapping a leg around mine. We're gently grinding into each other. Of course we know we're being watched by a thousand people and by an alien species but, we also feel that, if it's a show they want, then we'll give it to them. Hell, the very survival of the species might be at stake, right? We break away, both panting and disheveled.

Did you just mate?

Sonya looks at me, me at her, chuckle a bit, and without a word, we both decide.

I remove my shirt. Sonya kisses my nipples. Then she drops to her knees and kisses my jeans covered cock. The carpet is so soft, so comfy, we never notice it. No rug burns. Now that's an advanced civilization.

I lift her up to standing and remove her shirt. She pops open her bra exposing two sweet, full, firm ice cream cone tits with cherry hard nipples begging to be licked.

She urges me on with a whisper. "Let's fucking show them what humans can do."

We sink to our knees, pawing, licking, writhing on each other, desperate to get skin on skin. She falls backward, pulling me down with her and I end up hovering over her, our jeans clad crotches locked together. We are in the position, but still clothed from the waist down. We pause for dramatic effect.

Please continue.

Oh yeah. I'm kissing, caressing, and licking her skin and doing a slow dry hump into her splayed thighs. Occasionally I hear a gasp or call of encouragement from the folks in the dark beyond our spotlight, and this spurs us on. Extraordinary circumstances seem to have called upon us to be extraordinary exhibitionists, so we're going to put on the show of our lives.

I pull down my pants, expose my fully engorged tumescence to the bright light, then rub its length along the cleft of her crotch. Sonja wraps her legs around me and our hips ride together on waves of lust. She is so wet her jeans have a spot on them. I lean back on my knees and pull them down, leaving her very wet panties on. I bend down and kiss her stomach, her thighs, and finally, her bubbling vagina right through the sodden cotton, taking in a mouthful of cloth covered pussy lips and then sucking on the hard little nub of her clit. My finger finds the puckered rosette of her anus and massages it slightly.

I have no idea what Sonya has done in her life sexually but we both seem to realize this moment calls for a completely uninhibited expression of the full range of human sexuality. I wiggle my finger under her panties and slide it gently into her butt. She wiggles back against it, then humps her cunt into my face, grabbing my head so my mouth mashes in against her clit. She moans softly.

The next few minutes I use every trick of cunnilingus I know to bring her off. And she gets wet. When finally she comes it's with a gasp and a gush of juice surges out from deep inside her, washing over my face and down the crack of her ass.

She reaches down to pull her panties aside, then guides me by the ears upwards to kiss me, taste her juices in my mouth. Her hand reaches down and her fingers first fondle, then place the head of my hard fleshy rod at the waiting portal of her wetness. Her breasts are magnificent, upthrusting and heaving at me with each hard breath she takes, begging my mouth to lavish them. Her eyes are locked on mine. I'm beginning to sweat droplets onto her face and neck. We pause as long and dramatically as we can before I slowly begin burying myself inside her, feeling her vaginal walls contracting around me as I sink myself into her as deep as I can and bottom out with my balls against her ass.

We fuck. We fuck as slowly and as sexually as we have ever, or will ever, fuck. It's a fuck to show these alien assholes what humans can do – fuck. It's a fuck to show that sex is the highest form of life energy in the universe. It's a fuck to save the goddam human race from extinction. It's a fuck to show the universe that humans are a species to reckon with. It's a fuck to say fuck you.

And we have several orgasms. Sonya puts on a show. Just stroking into her from missionary position she erupts in several screaming orgasms in which her entire body convulses and shakes, her mouth gapes and her eyes roll back. This is not a time to hold back.

The first time I come she locks her legs around my ass and I can feel her cunt muscles milking the semen from deep inside me. Then before I'm finished she quickly releases me and slides down to suck the last spurts of cum from my dripping dick. She continues to fellate me for a while and then rolls over and offers her ass up to me. I spread her cheeks, lick her entire crotch, then place the red hard head of my cock at her cunt and slam into her from behind. She reaches under us and strokes her clit and my cock as we fuck. She is grunting in time to my humping her.

We fuck like that for awhile, her face in the soft carpet, breasts mashed beneath her, her ass in the air, me ramming myself into her, bouncing against her supple ass cheeks, feeling another cum starting to churn inside my testicles.

We switch to her on top and she really begins to grind on me, fondling her own breasts while rubbing her clit, sticking her fingers in my mouth to taste our combined fluids. We wind up in a full liplock as we both explode in glorious, mind blowing orgasms, hugging each other so tight that we are just one big orgasm, spewing cum, grunting joy and groaning lust and becoming, in that moment, pure, perfect love, united, melded, one.

I don't know how long we lay there, but suddenly the lights came on. The scene around us is amazing, one big fucking orgy. Dozens of couples are interlocked in various stages of lust, fucking, fellating, licking, thrusting, humping, sweating, cumming, moaning and groaning and gasping and crying out. It was so fucking crazy hot, Sonya and I began humping again. We are surrounded by people fucking wildly. It seemed like everybody was completely given over to lust, either stroking themselves or another person.

I got behind Sonya and held her sideways so we could watch while we fucked. She came twice more and I finally emptied the remaining contents of my ball sack and my very fucking soul into her thoroughly sodden, well fucked, convulsively clutching cunt.

At some point the orgy sort of gradually began subsiding into satisfied, contented whispers and murmurs.

Then the voice, even softer and deeper than we'd heard it before, came on.

Extraordinary. You have much to teach the cosmos.

You bet your fucking alien asses we do.