What I Wish Could've Been

As the door opened, since I was still laying down on my back. I just simply turned my head to look at her. At first she had the most neutral face on. She wasn't frowning, she wasn't smiling, only tight lipped with a straight line.

Until her eyes got big and after a second or two noticed she wasn't looking at my face. I looked down and thought "Shit! I'm tenting the sheet!"

Quickly I sat up in bed and put a pillow behind my back and looked sheepishly over at my mom.

Wearing only a light blue nightie Mom quietly came in and sat on the right side near the foot of my bed.

Then looked into my face like she was searching for something, probably also how to start.

She started with a small smile and saying "Son While I'm flattered that..Um...You can do that thinking of me...But that isn't a proper thing for a son to be doing That kind of thing! Thinking of his mother."

I knew this was going to be a bit of a low blow, but I've known for awhile and thought it might help swing my case.

I then said "But your not my mother. Not my Birth Mother at least. You and Dad adopted me when I was three months old. I've known since a few years ago you guys printed off that packed of the birds and the bee's. Im eighteen years old now. Also dad told me you guys adopted me and Jane because you couldn't get pregnant yourself.

Your my Mom, the one that raised me, nurtured me, took me trick-or-treated, gave me chicken noodle soup when I was sick, and let me sleep between you and dad when I had a nightmare. I'll always love you very much, but Now I can't go back to just simply loving you as my Mom.

I Also love you as a man loves a woman!"

For awhile she just stared at me. Slightly wide eyed with slights raised eyebrows. Until she finally found her voice but before she started talking I noticed a sadness in her eyes.

She started "While I'm extremely flattered you think so highly of me and love me so...I'm Sorry Jonah but I can't reciprocate the love you have of me. Even though I'm not your birth mother. I can only love you as a mother loves her son with all her heart and always wants the best for them."

With all the emotions running through me I knew the dam was going to break soon.

So I forced a small smile and said "Ok mom, I understand. I love you!"

She with a small smile to match said "I love you too Jonah! Very much!" And gave me a big hug.

I returned her big hug right back. The hug lasted for a good thirty seconds or so before we pulled apart. I slightly choked out "goodnight mom, love you!"

I was barely keeping the dam from braking when she pulled away I noticed that her eyes looked watery likely with un-shed tears. I thought "maybe something is there, that maybe she feels the love for me might be more than normal.

But she turns away and while closing the door saying a final "goodnight my son."

I waited for maybe about a minute until I was sure she must be back in her room to let the dam break and the waterworks to flow. And I cried and cried and cried quiet hot tears. Tears of love lost, unrequited love, I cried until I fell asleep. Mourning why this is happening to me and about what could have been...

As I cried myself to sleep.

*******

(((This is where slightly doctored non-fiction ends, and fiction begins.

This part will be slightly graphic)))

*******

Have you ever been in a dream that seamed to real. So clear that you weren't completely sure if you were awake or asleep. Well this is one of those times.

(Passengers perspective)

I open my eyes and look to me right and left. I can see I'm on a plane but I can tell looking at my hands that I'm not in my body. It is male but older, maybe mid-forty's. I'm in the isle seat on the right side of the plane and looking through the window can see a bit of the wing. So infringe that I'm a few rows in front of the wing.

I take in my surroundings again. The plane is large but not the biggest I've been in. I'm in a row of three, there's a row of three seats next to me and another three seat row on the other side of those.

I notice that the passenger on the inside middle row one up from me looks familiar. I can only see a little of the side of his face and takes me a second before I recognize him as my dad.

Just then I feel my stomach lurch's in my throat as we suddenly dropped twenty feet or so. I hear and then see the seat belt light go on. We lurch again and drop maybe fifty feet this time. After that the oxygen masks fall down. Over the speakers the captain says "Apologies for the turbulence folks. For safety please put on your masks now. And listen to the flight crew for any instructions. Thank you."

I look around and see many masked faces. I can tell their worried, by the looks in their eyes.

All of a sudden there's a small jolt. Now as I strain my ears I can't hear the engines anymore. I can feel the plane falling and people start to panic.

We're falling pretty fast. We're told by the flight attendants to get in crash position. Tray tables up, Leaning forward with your head against your folded hands.

I look around and can see the hopeless looks. I can hear some women screaming. As I turn to the right to look out the window, I can see we're quickly falling to a body of water. Right as the plane is about to hit the water.

(Blackness)

The next thing I know. My perspective has changed to myself looking to the right at Jane at the glass oval kitchen dinner table.

With mom to my left in the kitchen making us three some lunch. When the house phone rings, I say "I'll get it."

On the other end is a woman asking if this is the Smiths residence. I say yes it is, what is this about? Then she asks if my mother is there, I say "mom it's some woman asking for you."

With confused look on her face she takes the phone from me.

Both Jane and me hear her say "Yes?

Yes I'm she...Yes that my husbands name...What?!...Are you sure?!...Yes, ok. Can I call you back?.. I need to talk to my children. And proceeds to hang up the phone.

Me and Jane looked at each other and the looked at mom. We could tell it wasn't good news and heard the part about dad's name. We both asks if everything's alright.

With tears in her eyes she shakes her head no! Kids I'm so sorry, but that was the FAA. There was a problem with your fathers plane and it went down, their saying there wasn't any survivors. We all started bawling. Crying eyes eyes out.

(Then Blackness)

Next thing I know. I'm looking to the left seeing my sister in a black dress crying. I turn to my right see my mom in a black dress crying as well. I look forward and see the casket lowering into the ground and know who is inside the casket and start to cry too.

(Then blackness again)

Next thing I know Im looking around, and I'm in the back seat in my moms car, behind Jane with my mom driving. I see we're still in dress black wear so infringe that we're probably leaving the funereal and heading home. Heading south on I-35.

I blink and I'm not in my own body. I see two meaty hands on a big steaming wheel and that the speedometer reads 83. Also that I'm in the middle lane on I-35 North

in what appears to be an 18-wheeler.

As I'm coming up under a overpass a hear a loud bang. The wheel starts to shake badly and the cab veers hard to the left. In horror I realize that I'm heading through a conned off area for emergency services vehicles to get through to the south-ward side the highway.

(Then blackness)

Next I'm back in the backseat in my moms car. I see the 18-wheeler coming through the coned area and scream "brakes!" But it's too late. I thought it would cut us off but it hit us broadside shoving us into the concrete wall of the underpass.

(Then blackness)

But unlike the other times, I could still hear whats happening around me. I could hear metal twisting, glass braking, and tires screeching. But couldn't hear any screams or moans of pain except my own.

I think my right arms broken. My head hurts a lot and can feel blood dripping down over the right side of my face. Plus I'm covered in chunks of safety glass.

(Then blackness again)

Still blackness but then I hear "We got one in the backseat! We gotta cut part of the roof! Jaws! I need the jaws! Next I hear is more glass breaking and metal twisting.

Next I hear "son can you hear me! Can you tell me how your hurt!?"

I croak out "I think my right arm is broken, my head hurts a lot and I'm tired."

"Whatever you do don't go to sleep son! Stay awake! Can you try and stand up?! The roofs gone! If you can? I can grab you easier!"

I quietly said "I'll try" and slowly pushed with my legs. My back slowly slid up the seat enough, so that my waist was near the front headrest. I turned around cradling my hurt arm and felt arms under my own. I felt immense pain from my arm and head, as I'm lifted out of the back seat. But felt solid ground under my feet a few seconds later.

I cracked my good left eye to look at my savior and I croaked out "How is my mom and sister?"

I could visibly see his body stiffen and a pained look on his face as he said "I'm sorry son, both your family and the driver of the 18-wheeler didn't make it."

I thought I cried a lot for my dad but now I felt like a hurricane of sorrow just bawling for the loss of all those most dear to me.

My savior keeping me upright, and leading me away to a waiting stretcher nearby to go to the hospital. To make matters worse I heard a guy yell out "GAS!"

Sometimes I hated how good at science I am. I knew even in my current state all it would take is one spark, there's three batteries and over two-hundred gallons of gas between the two vehicles.

Next thing I know I hear a huge explosion from behind me. Even though I know it'll haunt me I can't help but look at the huge fireball of the flaming wreck and the black cloud rising from the smoke.

I slowly fall out of the mans arms and sit on my ankles on the ground. Ignoring the pain in my arm and head.

Now I just feel numb and full of sorrow and wailed! "NOOOooooooooooooo!!

*******

Next thing I knew I bolted upright in my bed crying profusely and screaming "NOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!! At the top of my lungs!"

My door slammed open and before I knew it my mother was in my arms. Hugging me tightly. I was almost suffocated against her breasts but I didn't care at the moment and just balled my eyes out.

Her saying sweet words of encouragement, "It's ok honey. It's was only a bad dream. You don't need to worry. I'm here for you!" Which only made me cry harder into her chest.

She continued to hold me tightly to her and rock me back and forth. While also slowly petting the back of my head. It was some minutes before I got my crying from downpour to a drizzle.

She in a soothing voice asked me if I'd like to talk about it?

With a hiccup, I relayed my nightmare. How we all got the news of the dad's plane crash. How we bawled at that. How we watched the casket go down. Then how I switched perspective of the man driving the 18-wheeler and myself and couldn't do anything. To learning both her and Jane died and then seeing the wreck exploding. Watching their bodies burn before bolting upright in bed and her coming in my room.

She continued to rock me back and forth. Saying "everything will be fine. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

I look into her eyes with my bloodshot ones and say "How can you know that? Something could happen tomorrow and you could be gone! No one knows when their time is up!"

She says "That's true. Only the man upstairs knows whenever someone's time is approaching."

I sniffle and ask "Mom can I sleep with you tonight? I don't want to be alone right now. Please?"

She has a moment of hesitation before she smiles and says "That's fine dear. Scooch over so I can get under the covers too."

But I say and it's the truth "But I can only fall asleep on my left side and I want to hold you."

She sighs slightly but smiles and says "Even though your not his blood your sooo like your father! He always sleeps on his left side too and on the right side of the bed."

I shrug and say "I am how I am, I don't know how to be any different."

She just shakes her head at that and turns her head to me and quickly and slightly pecks me on the lips and says "Goodnight my sweet son."

I smile at that. Snuggle closer to her and say "Good night my amazing mother!"

Because of everything we both went to bed early before this happened and at the time it's just before eleven-thirty that we both fall asleep peacefully snuggling together.

It was when I awoke around two-fifteen, that I felt something was not quite right. And it took me and my groggy mind a minute to figure it out before it dawned on me.

Usually I go to bed in boxers or nude if it's a hot Texas summer. Plus with how distraught I was feeling earlier "The first time" I just cried myself to sleep and didn't take care of the piece of granite between my legs. And because of the nightmare earlier, that killed it. So I didn't think about not wearing boxers at the time.

Boy was I thinking about it now. In my dream whatever this one was, I got a boner and since I was snuggling mom. That boner is now resting between her legs with my crown at her entrance.

"Shit! Shit! God this is awesome! But fuck! She said she doesn't want this! And I must respect her wishes! And I will! I love her too much to force her to do something she doesn't want to do! Ok! Let's see! If I slowly try and pull back, I should be able to slide out of her legs and can take care of myself in the bathroom! Shouldn't be too hard right?!"

Unfortunately wrong! Or fortunately as how you look at it!

As I was pulling back she unconsciously, probably got used to my body heat so when I pulled away she pushed her ass back. Somehow somewhere some god was smiling at this. The angle was just right so when she pushed back, my crown and I think a little over a inch sank into her velvety tunnel.

If I thought I was hard before I was pleasantly proven wrong. If I was granite before my dick felt like diamond now.

"Fuck! She's tight! Nothing against my mom but how can she be this tight at her age! She's like a fucking vice!"

When I thought it couldn't get any better, she goes and proves me wrong again. She suddenly moves her chest forward and her ass back again, and this time sinks another inch and a half.

"Wholly shit! Well fuck this is a dream cum true! ;) Seriously I don't want to say anything cuz I'd probably just jinx myself but...Seriously what will happen next!"

Ok! Someone is seriously shinning on me right now! Like really! What she does next in her sleep blows my mind! She starts to gyrate her hips side to side for a minute or two. Which felt incredible by the way! But then she started to hump back against me slowly!

She's keeping me now between three-four and a half inches inside of her and it's driving me crazy. I can also feel at this time she is most definitely wet. As I can hear a slight schlck every time she humps her ass back and forth.

It's starting to feel real good to me, and not just me. I can hear her moaning softly in her sleep! I know if she keeps this up for much longer, I'm not sure if I can hold out!

What happens next blows my mind once again! I hear her moan out softly "Oh James! You feel so hard tonight!" In her sleep.

"Wholly shit! She thinks I'm my Dad! And surprisingly that fact didn't kill my boner! I was already diamond hard, can't get harder! But now I had a urgency to wake her up so she wouldn't make a mistake she can't take back! Or at least blame Me for it!

As she was still humping against me! With me trying not to unleash the white tide about to erupt from my balls! I started above a whisper "MOM" Nothing! So I bring the volume up a bit "MOOM!" Still Nothing! Finally I just said fuck it and poked her kinda hard in her side hissing "Rebecca..Wake..Up!"

Finally something works! "Slightly groggily she says, Hey honey your up early! You can't wait to have some? Ending kind of sultry.

I uncontrollably shivered at that! And said with a *sigh* "As much as I've dreamt of hearing you say those words to me, it doesn't feel right if they're meant for someone else!"

She froze at that. Probably now realizing where she is and what's going on.

Then she asks in a slightly shaky voice how did this happen? At first I thought her tone of voice was because she was mad but wondered if instead she's as close to the edge as me?!

So I tell her the truth. "Well in our sleep I got a boner that wound up between your legs at your entrance. Then I woke up. I tried to pull myself out from your legs to relieve myself elsewhere. You pushed back sheathing yourself on me and have been humping me since! With me trying to wake you up to stop before you went to far!"

Then she asks is a slightly louder but still shaky voice "how close are you?"

In this situation there can only be one "Close" that she could be talking about. Plus I started honest so thought just to keep it up. "Very Close! If I was outside your velvet tunnel right now, you could blow on it and I would Erupt!"

Surprisingly at the word "velvet" she shivered and unconsciously clenched down on my dick! She moaned out "Oh God! You Feel So Good Inside Me Though!"

I hissed with Clenched teeth. "I promise you one thing right Now! If you do that again, I will not be held responsible for what happens next!"

She paused as if weighing a indecision. After a excruciating minute of silence, except for breathing she went and blew my mind once again and probably not for the last time.

She starts the mind blow with this. "Ok! You can Cum in Me Right Now! But I have stipulations if this is to continue after right now."

"(1.)I love your father and will never leave him but if this jeopardizes my relationship with him this ends. (2.) Since we are doing this, I can chop at the knees any bad habits you have with pleasuring a woman the right way and start from the ground up. (3.) If this is still ongoing after you move out, you and I have some time to ourselves we can meet for some fun but only if it doesn't interfere with the first stipulation. (4.) I hold the power to end this at any time that I choose but will try and talk about it with you if it come to that."

"If you agree to these stipulations then this won't be the last time you...Erupt in my Velvety Tunnel! As you put it!" She ends with a sultry smirk.

My first thought to this, "WOW...Mind Officially Blown...Yet Again!" Then I really thought about it all. There really wasn't any reason I shouldn't agree to any of it. The ball would be in her court but that way everyone gets something out it.

She was looking over he shoulder at me waiting for my response but with that smirk plastered on her face. She knew I couldn't refuse. Especially since my confession earlier tonight. So without further ado I said with a smirk of my own, "I agree." Then slammed into her velvety tunnel once again setting the both of us over the edge.

She went something like "Oh God! Yes! Yes! Oh God! Mmnnn! I so needed that!

As I went "Fuck! Nngh! Ngh! Nnm! Ugh! Uhh! How's my Hot Cum Feel inside that velvet tunnel of yours?!

As I came the fifth and last hard spurt, she came again. After she got her bearings and was about to respond when she noticed my dick hasn't fallen out. I might've softened a bit from diamond to granite but wasn't out of the count yet.

She smiled slightly wickedly. Saying "mmnnn you feel so good inside me but I see your not done yet. So why don't you cum on over, get on top of me and put that rod to good use between my legs.

I was definitely one to play tit for tat so replied with a wicked smile of my own "now what kind of son would I be if I ignored the needs of such a giving mother, that loves her son so very much." I end in a smirk as I line up with her entrance.