All Comments on 'What Is She Doing Here? Ch. 04'

Hey mate

I dont know if you are really like this or if you are making this character up

Either way well done. Real cool story.

Looking forward to next chapters.

Thanx.

He just might end up falling for her. The only thing that bothers me about this character is his over confidence in his pecker.

Her to have an affair; but if that's the case, why do it?

Considering that it seems like a lot of stories in LW are "we stripped, tied her husband to a chair and I fucked her lights out all night", this one is almost at the opposite end of the scale. The man--not her husband--is very patient & understanding of her emotional needs and wants her to really WANT sex with him. The emotions are very well-described on both her & his sides. My only criticism is the time between chapters.

5*+

Funniest glitch so far "I am very attacked to you". Not a spelling freak, just thought it was hillarous.

You're doing great so far...

Like somebody else said, I think Scott is falling in love with Wifey, too. This tale is riveting, to be honest. Short chapters and time between them notwithstanding. Hubby is still a moron.

5 Stars.

Really enjoying the story.....

PLEASE, double scrub for grammar and spelling.

Really,

Two, to and too

Then and than

Attracted, attacked

Intermixing these and several others is distracting and becomes annoying if not kept in check. It's just a matter of learning the differences and where and how they are used, then (there, you, not too hard) applying them correctly.

It's not that hard....and it's part of the job.

Good storytelling, but I think you've just about worn out the white knight imagery. Not clothes that fit a player that well. Must be a good reason...like they end up married?

Hmmmm.

4* would be 5 if you got the editing cleaner.

When writing dialogue, it is, of course, necessary to use quotation marks; however, it a person continues to speak and it requires a new paragraph, you do not close using quotation marks. You merely start the next paragraph with a quotation mark and finally close quotes and the end of that person's part of a speech. It is almost as confusing figuring out who is speaking and what the f--- I am trying to explain to you.

Still, it's a fun read.

Good read...but like many authors, here, then and than are confused or just not used correctly (I can live with it, but bugs me though). 'Simply'...then is about time (ie. by then, until then etc.), than is about comparison (ie. bigger than, smaller than etc.) Picky, I know, but sometimes keeps a good story from being the best it can be.

Man oh man, this is barely PG.So dang slow-moving. SO boring.........zeeeeeee

You are probably long gone but this is in regards to your opening comment about the psychological impact you are claiming really big wangs have on women.

I think you are wrong there.

I have easily taken women and could have kept them forever, who had guys before me with large dicks.

My wife's first husband had a very large unit and she absolutely prefers sex with me.

Unusual story.