All Comments on 'What Katy Did'

that was so hot!!!!! I am so wet, I will have to do something about it.....awesome. thanks for the story......

In the Story Feedback forum you asked for some comments... so I'll try to provide some advice.

This story was fun to read, and I see it currently has a 4.44 rating, which seems about right by Lit standards.

First of all, there are many similar stories on Lit with this theme (guy is seduced by the hot, young daughter of a long-time friend). And some of them are better than yours. A good formula: Start with a slow build-up that develops the characters via narrative and a bit of dialog, starting with the young woman in her late teens and include a bit of background of why the guy and her dad are friends. Be sure to describe the characters' physical attributes, especially the girl. Then move on to incidents of flirting that escalate in intensity (of course after she's 18). (But don't drag it out too long to avoid losing the reader's interest.) Finally, there should be a scene where she overcomes his reluctance and they have hot monkey sex. Formulaic, but it works if done right.

But really, what would be even better is a truly original story concept/plot. I think you have enough talent as a writer to pull it off if you try.

and whether or not the story had a plot as old as the hills, it worked for me, and I'm fussy in my praise. Thank you.

I know a girl just like her what a tease, well written and paced, will we see a follow on from this? I'll have to have a look..

I think this story should've received a higher rating.

no matter whose daughter they are. TK U MLJ LV NV