What Might Have Been

"Wait! So you and Paul aren't getting married?"

"Married! We aren't even dating anymore. He and I broke up months ago, but he has been trying to win me back ever since. Anytime he thinks another guy is hovering around he tells them we are engaged to scare them off."

"So you're free?"

Debbie pulled herself out of her anger long enough to see the hopeful look on Kyle's face. She smiled slightly at him.

"Does that make a difference to you?"

"I was thinking that maybe while I'm here, we could...I don't know have dinner or something?"

"I don't know, Kyle..."

"Just to talk. I feel like I have so many things I want to say to you."

"We'll see. Tonight is the rehearsal dinner, so obviously, we both will be busy."

Debbie's assistant chose that moment to come up the hill trying to get her attention about a scheduling matter, and Kyle watched her walk away engrossed in the myriad of details that running a wedding entailed.

He was grinning when he got back in the car with Gary and Jill a short time later.

"You certainly have perked up," noted Gary.

"I just found out I'm still in the game after all. Debbie isn't getting married. It was all a misunderstanding."

"Good for you guys! At least you have a chance to talk to her now and who knows what can happen."

"Yeah, well, I'm not getting my hopes up she was pretty bitter about where we left things. I just want to take it slow and see where things go."

Gary and Jill dropped Kyle back off at the hotel where he took a badly needed nap still trying to recover from his late night. They picked him back up an hour before the dinner taking him over to the Bright Gardens Country Club, probably the most elite dining establishment the small town had to offer. For Kyle, it was especially nostalgic since he and his friends used to sneak into the venue here after hours back in high school to take girls for walks through the pretty gardens that surrounded the small lake at the center of the grounds. The lake had gotten the nickname, "The Fountains," because of all the colored water features that shot rainbow-like arch's into the air. The place had been a favorite make-out spot for many a horny teen.

Kyle stood nervously in the lobby shuffling from one foot to the other and glancing at his watch. He had changed into a gray sports coat and navy slacks for dinner.

"I think you're safe in assuming that my wedding coordinator is going to be here," said Jill from behind him.

"I know. I'm..."

"Trying to look like you're about to give birth?"

"That isn't helping, Jill."

Gary laughed,"You're more jittery than a virgin on prom night! This is our wedding we should be the nervous ones."

"What do we have to be nervous about?" said Jill raising an eyebrow.

"Oh! Eh...Nothing...This is the easiest decision I ever made to marry the most perfect woman on the planet."

"Have you met any other women, Gary?" asked Kyle.

"Let the man talk, Kyle," said Jill slapping her brother on the arm, "I like it when he feels like he screwed up and has to kiss my ass."

Any further banter was interrupted by the opening of the wide oak door that marked the entrance to the country club. Debbie came in wearing a simple black dress that clung to her curves nicely. Kyle swallowed hard trying once again not to stare like a fool.

"We will see you guys inside," said Jill pulling Gary away by one arm.

"Kyle, you look nice," said Debbie. She was trying to sound casual, but he thought he caught a tell-tale shaking in her voice indicating that she was just as nervous as he was after all.

"You look amazing, Debbie. I thought it was never a good idea to outshine the bride?"

"Very funny."

Kyle offered her an arm and Debbie accepted it without comment as he led her to a seat at the long table. Though he and Jill had a relatively small family, just their Mom's sister Emily was there with them, Gary had a plethora of relatives easily filling out the other spots. The meal was a selection of three dishes, and the wait staff did a nice job of making sure that the wine glasses stayed full, and everyone was taken care of as the night moved on. Gary rose at one point and toasted all the guests making sure to thank Debbie for all her efforts on their behalf. Kyle saw Debbie blush slightly. She had never liked being the center of attention at any event.

When the desserts came around, Kyle got up from his seat and stopped by Debbie's chair whispering in her ear, "I don't know about you, but I need to stretch my legs."

He kept moving without looking back to see if she was following him. He loitered outside in the lobby for a minute feeling a great sense of relief when Debbie finally joined him there smoothing her dress down with one hand. They walked out the front exit door and turned down a path on their left that led into the gardens beyond. In the distance, they could hear the sounds of falling water, and when the trail turned at the lake, they found the source of the noise.

"I always did love it here," said Debbie watching the underwater fountains shoot streams of water up into the night sky.

"We spent a fair amount of time here as I remember," replied Kyle.

The path moved around the lake. They walked it side by side seemingly lost in their own thoughts.

"I'm sorry if you thought I abandoned you. I was doing what I thought you wanted me to do."

"I should be the one apologizing. I didn't mean to come off like I was attacking you last night. I guess I wanted you to read my mind ten years ago, and see how badly I wanted you to stay even though I was telling you to go. I knew deep down it was the right thing for you and I couldn't be that selfish...To make you stay here because of me."

"I meant what I said last night. I thought about you all the time. There wasn't a moment that went by that I didn't think about calling or coming home. I guess I convinced myself that you didn't want me anymore because that was easier than admitting I screwed up leaving you behind."

"Look at us both trying to be noble and make the big sacrifice," said Debbie ruefully.

"We were kids. We believed everything was a Romeo and Juliet tragedy all high drama. If we could have thought things through...Well...Who knows..."

Without even realizing it the couple had taken each other's hands, and now walked linked together passing side trails that led into small areas enclosed by trees that featured benches where people could sit and enjoy the fresh air.

"Remember this spot?" asked Kyle pulling Debbie into one such alcove. They ducked slightly to avoid some overgrown branches finally appearing in a round area of low cut trees and flowering bushes with a bench right in the center.

Debbie walked over to the bench running one hand down the worn wood, "I do. The last time you kissed me was right here sitting on this bench."

Kyle joined her placing his hand on top of hers stopping the back and forth motion. Her skin was warm and soft under his palm.

"They say you can never go back again," whispered Debbie.

"I don't want to go back, Debbie. I want to go forward. I'm just hoping you might want to come along."

"I'm still the small town girl, Kyle. The big city doesn't hold any appeal for me."

"I got news for you, Debbie. I own a tech security company. I can do that anywhere I like..."

His fingertips found her chin turning her head around to look up at him. The distant rainbow lights made colors dance in the whites of her blue eyes. She parted her lips as Kyle's head dipped down. They may have been a bit out of practice, but it was amazing how quickly the old motions came back to them. Debbie's lips were even softer than he remembered sliding sweetly against his, and Kyle quickly slipped his arms around her waist pulling her closer. The kiss grew into a more profound touching with Debbie gasping softly when the heat between them rose. Kyle started to kiss her more deeply letting his tongue gently tease the tip of hers, and she moved to slip her arms around his neck turning her head to one side. Their hands began to rub at each other's backs, and quiet moans started to escape between breaths.

By the time they parted, both of them were panting in unison looking at each other with ten years worth of pent up lust.

"Did you say you were staying at the Delphi Inn?" said Debbie in a thick voice.

"Yes."

"That's real close by..."

"Yes. Yes it is." agreed Kyle.

It was only a minor miracle that Debbie didn't get pulled over for speeding while she drove them back to Kyle's hotel. They reached his room stopping only to grope each other briefly in front of the door exchanging more hot kisses. Kyle fumbled with the key lock his mind racing. When the door finally popped open, he was the first through only to stop dead in his tracks.

"Hey, Kyle! I hope you don't mind I told the front desk clerk I was your girlfriend so he would let me in. I figured I would surprise you," said Holly Vance who was naked as the day she was born and laying across his bed.

Debbie followed right behind Kyle and did a double-take looking back and forth between Holly and Kyle with her mouth hanging open.

"Oh! Hi, Debbie! Kyle didn't mention he was into three-ways, but that's o.k I'm flexible."

"Oh, Shit!" Kyle breathed out loud.

Debbie's eyes narrowed into a look of anger, and she didn't say a word merely turning and shooting right back out the door. Kyle was on her heels trying desperately to think of anything he could say that would defuse the situation.

"So...No three way then?" said Holly to the empty room.

"Debbie wait! I can explain," shouted Kyle.

She stopped just short of her car spinning on one heel to face her former boyfriend who stood a few feet away.

"Really? You can explain? I would love to hear the explanation for why Holly Vance is naked in your hotel room."

Kyle opened his mouth, but no sound came out for several seconds until, "Actually, I got nothing. Look...After what Paul told me last night I had a lot to drink and..."

"I can tell you already I don't want to hear the rest," said Debbie angrily fumbling in her purse for her keys.

"Wait! Debbie, please...It was a mistake o.k. I was upset, and I had a lot to drink. I don't even remember half of what happened last night."

"You're not helping your case, Kyle."

"I know this looks bad, but I swear if I had known then what I know now this would never have happened."

"So this is my fault? My ex-boyfriend screws with your head and this is how you deal with it? "No Pants" Vance for Christ Sake! She will blab this to everyone who will listen the whole town probably knows already."

Debbie finally found her keys pressing the button frantically to unlock her door.

"Debbie wait!" said Kyle desperately but she was already behind the wheel and starting the engine.

"Why don't you go back to your room, Kyle, or better head back to the country club. Maybe there is someone else there from the class of 2008 you haven't fucked yet!"

She tore out of the parking lot leaving the stench of burned rubber behind as Kyle stood with his hands on his hips wondering how things had gone to shit so fast.

"This is exactly the kind of crap that makes people skip reunions," said Kyle under his breath.

An hour later, Kyle sat across the coffee table from his sister drinking a steaming cup of herbal tea while she alternated between a sympathetic patting of his hand, and laughing hysterically.

"Tell it again! I love the part where "No Pants" is naked on your bed!" said Jill holding a hand over her mouth.

"I love the outpouring of sympathy, Jill. Thanks."

Jill took a deep breath trying to compose herself.

"I hate to say it, but you did bring this on yourself, Big Brother. You never could hold your liquor."

"Debbie is seriously pissed."

"I imagine she is I mean, Holly Vance! I'm not sure you could have picked a bigger skank in the county if you tried."

"So you've said at least ten times since I sat down."

Kyle stood and started to pace the room shaking his head, "The bitch of it is that we looked as if we were finally going to set things right between us. I was starting to believe that maybe I could go back and fix the mistake I made ten years ago."

"It might not be too late," said Jill, but this merely brought a look of disgust from Kyle, "I'm not saying it would be easy given Debbie's temper but shouldn't you at least try? It's clear that you still have very strong feelings for her."

"I do. I just...I don't even know where to start."

"Do you remember that time Dad got drunk at the Elk's Lodge meeting and drove our brand new station wagon into Mill Pond?"

Kyle stopped pacing and chuckled to himself, "I do remember that. Man, was Mom mad..."

"She didn't speak to him for days, but he finally got her to crack."

Kyle's mind flew back across the years summoning up an image of his father standing on the porch in a giant bunny suit he had rented holding a bouquet in one hand and a large cardboard sign in the other bearing the handwritten plea, "I'm sorry!"

"Are you saying I should dress up like a rabbit?"

"No, I'm saying there is always a way to reach the people we love, and that humiliating yourself in front of our neighbors is one."

"I don't think a rabbit costume would work with Debbie."

"Then try speaking from your heart, Dad was always good at that too."

Jill go up from the couch and came across the room pulling her brother into a hug.

"I know you can fix this, Kyle. I saw the way you looked at Debbie when she came through that door last night, and more importantly, I say the way she looked at you. I haven't seen two people with more longing for each other since Mom and Dad."

Kyle leaned down to kiss his sister on top of the head, "I'll try."

The weather was perfect for the big day, and Gary paced back and forth threatening to wear out the soles of his shoes before the time came for him to make the short walk over to the altar.

"How's it looking out there?" he asked Kyle who had just come from setting up chairs for the wedding guests.

"Folks are starting to arrive. I think you're going to have a nice crowd for the ceremony. Hey, at least it isn't going to rain!"

"Jill was worried about that I'm glad the weather stayed on our side."

"You doing o.k.?"

"I'm a little nervous. Not about marrying Jill, but just about being up in front of all those people I don't want to make a mistake and ruin the whole thing."

"You're not going to ruin anything even if you do. We are all here for you guys today, and everyone wants the best for both of you. However the ceremony goes you guys are going to have nothing but good memories of it."

"Thanks, Kyle."

"I had better get over and see how things are going with Jill. Break a leg, Pal."

Kyle walked back down the hill to the room where Jill was getting ready along with her bride's maids. He couldn't help but keep an eye out for Debbie, but she must have been busy in some other part of the vineyard because he had yet to see her. When he arrived at the dressing room, it was just in time to see his sister putting the finishing touches on her dress. He stopped just inside the doorway admiring her from afar while the stylist Debbie had hired finished helping her into her shoes.

"If Mom and Dad were here they would both be crying by now," said Kyle with a catch in his throat.

"Don't you start. I'm barely holding it together already," said Jill fighting to hold back the tears that made the corners of her eyes shine.

"You were always the tough one. I'm the one who cried for two days when they made us watch Bambi in grade school."

"Fair point."

Kyle came over to his little sister brushing his fingertips across her face.

"You look perfect. Gary is getting the prettiest girl in Crawford County."

They embraced with Kyle doing his best not to rumple the bride too much before the ceremony.

"We're just about ready," came Debbie' voice from the doorway. Kyle noted that she went out of her way not to make eye contact with him as she came to check Jill over once last time.

"I will wait outside and give you a wave to start in time with the music," said Debbie leaving to arrange the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Jill and Kyle stood near the doorway waiting patiently as the music started for the procession outside.

"Dad would have been proud of you," said Kyle quietly.

"He would have been a blubbering mess by now," said Jill with a sniffle.

"I may be before we get up that hill. The day is young."

"Keep it together, Big Brother. I'm counting on you."

"Always, Jill. Always."

The music started, and through the doorway, they could see Debbie waving at them with one hand. Kyle nodded at his little sister, and they started in lock step together turning to find the trail just outside the door and proceeding up the hill where all eyes were on the bride as she made her way down rows of family and friends.

Despite any misgivings Gary may have had, the ceremony went off without a hitch and Kyle was happy that his Aunt Emily had packed her purse with tissues because he was sobbing before the first words were spoken between the soon to be married couple. The reception afterward was being held in a ballroom that had been set up with tables and chairs for the guests while the wedding party sat on a raised platform at one end. A buffet of food catered as it turned out by Paul Maturski lined one side of the venue. Kyle picked at his food not feeling like eating right away. He knew that Jill wanted him to say a few words to the assembled family and guests. Speaking in public was not his forte.

Debbie was suddenly at his side talking to him for the first time since the parking lot at his hotel. Her words were clipped and tone far from friendly as she handed him a wireless microphone.

"I think everyone has their food. Time for your speech."

Kyle took the proffered microphone with a nod standing to face the audience and the wedding party.

"Uh...Huh...It this thing on?" he said tapping the top of the microphone eliciting a loud whine of feedback that made everyone wince.

"I guess it is..." he said chuckling.

"I don't speak in public a whole lot. Whenever we have to do presentations to clients I usually get my partner, Meyer to do it. He speaks way more eloquently than I do. I just wanted to thank all of you for coming and being with Jill and Gary on their special day. I know it means a lot to them that you folks could be here to share in it."

A few claps from the audience greeted his warm words, and he pressed on.

"The three of us have known each other since we were knee-high, and Gary has always been a big part of our family. I know that he knows Jill almost as well as I do, and it's a testament to his love for her that he was willing to marry her anyway."

"Hey!" yelled Jill as the audience laughed.

"Our parents couldn't be here today. Sadly, they were taken from us as many of you already know. You also know my Mom would have been upset to miss out on such a great buffet. I imagine if my Dad were giving this speech he would have had some really profound advice to offer about how to have a successful marriage. I wish he were here to give it because he was the wisest person I ever knew, but I'll try my best. I think he would have said to cherish each other every day, and always be there for each other. I think also he would have said to be patient because as sure as the day is long one of you is going to do something that makes the other one roll their eyes and wonder why they got themselves into this mess in the first place."

A ripple of laughter passed through the audience while Kyle glanced to the far end of the raised platform where Debbie stood with her arms folded.

"My Dad would have said right up front that he was not perfect. He was stubborn, and a bit of a big kid sometimes. He made more than his share of mistakes along the way, and he used to tell me that the hardest part isn't always getting the forgiveness of the people you love its forgiving yourself. I think my Dad would have cut off his own arm rather than hurt our Mom so when he did make a mistake, I think Mom always forgave him because she knew that he was hating himself more than she ever could."