by kajira_girl
"My God! You could get four or five people in here!"
Oh, I hope so!
Good sex needs good foreplay. This first chapter was good foreplay. I call that sexy. Rick
Sensual, not sexual and well written/developed.
Can not wait for the following submissions.
I like the longer stories better. the build-up is what makes the encounter special, not "I whipped out my 9' monster and pounded away at her tight bottom" ... which always gets me to laugh, but not in a good way.
Your style of writing flows, and it was fun "seeing" all the visuals, almost down to the crisp yet damp air of the ocean.
I think a great twist would be if she found something to help HIM with, as the stage has already been set that he'll continue to help HER.
Great start! Five stars!
Great beginning!! You almost got me looking for a house to rent.
Great visual! But, to nice, not spicy
Cannot wait for rest of story.
The begining of this story is great. cannot wait to read the rest.
I agree that you should have ended the chapter with a better "hook" to bring readers back.
I have written three "Mature" stories from the older man's perspective. I look forward to reading more from the younger woman's perspective.
Keep the story comming
Just wish you'd have finished the story... You write well, but just as I get into it... it ends... I don't check here everyday, so I likely won't see other chapters, or even recognize them... You might want to at least put that at the beginning so we know... wouldn't have read otherwise...
You've made a nice sensuous start here. Please take it forward.