All Comments on 'What to Do with Darla'

I've never commented on any of these stories...before now. Hands down, the best story I've read on this site. Hoping and looking forward to more of this, maybe a series. Cheers!

10/10

Very well written, with believable characterizations, taking the time to show us how their relationship evolved. Some may ask for more, and if you write it, I'll probably read it. This stands on its own, though. They're just getting started, but no matter what happens, it's apparent that they are becoming stronger together, and are the better for it. And that's all any of us wants, really: someone to share their life with - to talk to, to share secrets and thoughts, have fun, just hang out, and be there when times are tough. Hmm. Sounds like love.

Sad about Lisa. Tough love has to also include reminders that there's love, too. Otherwise, it doesn't work. People don't care about what you have to say, until they know that you care. Darla's request to told she was loved reminded her that there was someone - Jay - did care for her.

Amazing editing job. Only three times did I see where words were dropped. Nothing else jumped out at me, so I am truly impressed, especially considering the story's length. It's great when the grammar, punctuation, and the rest are in place, and I am willing to forgive that sort of thing if the story is good or the characters are especially well crafted and distinct. This story has both. Thanks for sharing! I'll add this to my favorites. 5*

Nice gradual buildup, well done I wish I could give it more than 5 stars; it deserves much more. Keep up the excellent writing.

You managed to do just about everything right.

The gradual buildup kept the tension up. The character development was logical and consistent. No weird jumps of logic and the siblings getting together actually made sense for once.

I like this category on Literotica, but too often too many shortcuts are taken and stories don't quite make sense. You managed to avoid pretty much all the pitfalls and achieved a believable story that was sweet, endearing as well as naughty and sexy enough for anybody.

I loved it!

Very well written , I would not change anything. You wrote it as if it really happened , which makes it even better . Don't stop writing you are good at it . Reading stories like this is what makes life easier to get through . Thank you for your time doing this for us

Been reading these stories for years and this is the first long one I have finished. The character's seemed like real people and I cared what happened to them. Great job writing this. Keep up the good work. Thanks

fuck that was so cool i want more brother/sister stories but with much much more smut. they make so wet and turn of. i have come with this story of your please please write more

Nana Greece

I truly enjoyed your writing and was completely absorbed in the story and captivated in the characters as well. It wasn't the typical straight to sex kind of story but more tender and realistic. If this wasn't a taboo subject this story would have been a great film.

I look forward to more of your stories and writings. Would love a sequel to this story as well...

One of the best stories I've read here! Well written and miticulously crafted, there is nothing not to like about it: great character building, realistic denouement and perfectly balanced, captivating story-telling. Fantastic dialogue throughout and exactly the right amount of descriptiveness. The only downside was that it ended rather abruptly for my taste. Even though rather long for stories on this site I would have loved to spend a little more time with lovable siblings Darla and Jay!

and your stories perfectly got the erotic romance touch that makes sibling incest way hotter...

Kept me wrapped in the story to the end. My compliments to the author. Couldn't stop reading it.

The way you write, it is so marvelously vivid and the situations that you put across so believable and real. It's a real turn on, and you sure know how to get a lady in the right mood! Please do continue to write more.

In fact, this is the best new story that I've read in quite a while. Please keep up to excellent work.

Excellent story line and editing. The only thing it could use is a bit of fleshing out of the sex scenes. Beyond that, top-notch!

Five stars!

Thanks for a really good read, it was like a mini drama.

Well done, look forward to more of your work.

5* all day long

That life lesson came in good,it may actually convince someone,cuz it came from a random writer in a random place.

Your stories are pretty damn amazing. I love the way you portray the characters, and especially love the heavy focus on dialogue. The romance angle is really intriguing as well.

That being said though, one thing I feel that's missing is descriptions between pieces of dialogue. I'm finding that I have to mentally insert what the characters are doing while they're having their conversations quite often.

You have the what they're talking about pretty much nailed down (although you can of course always improve), but how they're doing it isn't quite there yet. If I were to just read the story as is, without inserting anything myself, I would feel like they're just two entities reading off a list of sentences sometimes. You don't have to go overboard with it, but just describe their facial expressions, or what they're doing with their hands, or whether they're changing their posture. Again, don't do it ALL the time, but I think there are definitely places where what they're saying could be enhanced by describing what they're doing.

I don't like whore stories...

Excellent story, thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm glad that Jay and Darla found happiness together. 5 star....

could not put it away and had to read the whole story from start to finish. I really love a story with a happy ending like this one. good work.

Truly magnificent

Well, mostly - Lisa's end is a bit OTT, but that's drama. I love the little asides you drop in of the character's inner thoughts, that really makes this one stand out. The characters also all having glaring flaws and imperfect lives for once made me like them more.

Can we please have another in a similar style?

This was awesome, i wish you turned it into a series thou. I want to read more about them.

A weird little story that did a lot for me

Well loved the story!! Nice to have one Every once in a while where they don't get caught by the parents or friends. I really like the girl, she's kinda ditzy emotional, but underlying she's really smart!! Topped off with horny :). Can I trade my wife in? Hehe!

Really wish you were still writing. Love these story lines of yours

but way too long. You should have ended it at the end of page 4.

Don't ever let someone tell you that his story is too long. This might have been a good stroke story if it were 3 pages long, but the length of this story really allowed to characters to change and evolve, and it made the love story between the two so much stronger.

Thank you for this wonderful story, it was heartwarming and deep. I wish there were more stories like this.

My second read through, absolutely loved it!

Good stuff, I really enjoyed this. I found this the perfect length for a short story; long enough to have an interesting storyline and build the dynamic between characters, but also short enough that it's a nice easy read. I also noticed that you haven't uploaded anything since 2017, which is a shame. I hope that the reason you stopped wasn't a bad one

Darla the whore

I like these longer stories that take their time in order to develop the characters and the plot. One thing I wish you would do though, is either get an editor (or friend to proofread) or a grammar checker. I see the same errors in most of your writing, the most glaring being use of the word “went,” when the correct word is “gone.” Sometimes, I wonder if English is your second language, and then I can cut you some slack, but if not, these little things (also “was/were”) detract from some very nice story telling. Last, there is NO such word as “prolly!” NONE!

I hate to be such a stickler about this, but my parents and teachers, and later, professors, never let me get away with these errors, so I would think someone who wants to be a good writer would take them into account, too.

Other than that, even with my critique, five stars.

It was a good story never stopped reading it till the end

I loved the story. In a way, I'm kind of like Jay. I'm constantly trying to save young ladies who have made horrible life choices in their late teens. I've had a lot of failures, but my friend Sinthet is a success. But in all honesty she turned her own self around and got onto the right path. I had been offering guidance from the very beginning when we first met. She eventually understood what I was trying to teach and went from there. We've adopted each other as brother and sister, even though I'm literally old enough to be her father. She's 4 months younger than my oldest son. But I digress...

The ending was okay enough, but I still felt like there were loose ends. I think that Mom should have suddenly realized that there was more going on with her kids after they got their own apartment. Mom could have put 2 and 2 together when she was back home and alone. She's initially furious with her kids, but being alone she has to think about and analyze where everything rests at this point. She realizes that Darla has changed her life for the better and Jay is the whole reason why. So a couple of weeks later, she drops by for a visit to voice her reluctant approval accepting Jay and Darla's illicit affair. This would have wrapped it up nicely. 👌

JUST ANOTHER MAN CRAZY WHORING SISTER AND A STUPID BROTHER

(12/5/2022) This was an enjoyable read, well-written, and thought out. Five stars. Regarding the anon from four months ago below. JUST ANOTHER SCREAMING TROLL WITH ISSUES. Maybe he suffers from the same condition as Josh.

9 pages too long. Darla was already whoring herself from the beginning. Her brother is a stupid desperate cuck

Characters develop, emotions change and grow, and love blooms. I really enjoyed the journey of this story.

Well done

A little bit more eroticism...? I know, it's been a while since you have posted.

Five for you

I reviewed your story a year ago. I just read it again for the second time and everything that I said in my comments before are still valid and don't need revision. I enjoyed it the second time through too. I voted five.

One thing that I do want to mention regards two of the negative comments that have been made during the past twelve months. One comment begins with "Just another man crazy whoring sister..." and the other begins with "9 pages too long."

I wanted to emphasize that BOTH of these negative comments were made by yellow belly cowards who don't have the courage or fortitude to include their own names. They posted them anonymously.

Therefore their words are WORTHLESS and NOT VALID. You, as the author, have the authority and power to delete any and all comments posted on your stories. From your home page, select the "works" tab and find the listing for your Darla story. On the right side of the listing, you will see a chat bubble to click on. When you click it, it will pull up all of the comments and there will be a trashcan symbol by each one that you can use to delete abusive comments such as these.

I encourage all authors out there to delete anonymously posted negative comments with extreme prejudice! If everyone would jump on the bandwagon then the cowardly curs would quickly learn that they can't reach their audience for their personal gratification. 5/5

This was beautiful. Congratulations on building a story that kept me interested!

"Darla may have had many shortcomings but she exceptionally quick at getting getting undressed..

One of the lines ever!

I liked it. Darla got her act together thanks to Jay and we get to see the road not taken via glimpses at Lisa's life. I think the story ended too soon but I suppose we know what happens next.