All Comments on 'Whatever It Takes Pt. 08'

Here goes...

It’s still Wednesday in this story and even worse the day not even close to over yet. Yes that's right it will be at least four chapters and so far you’ve already created 16 Literotica pages, and who knows how many more, just to recap one day…why?

At the beginning of each chapter you provide us a synopsis of the previous content to catch everyone up and then you run us through the cast of characters. Two quick notes about this both constructive I hope, first where is Heather - she sounds important yet here we are in chapter eight without any content related to her in the last four plus chapters (chap 3 page 2). Shouldn’t she be doing something? Even in the first three she’s just running around looking for hook ups. Shouldn’t we the readers get a clue as to what’s been up with her for the last 4 days? I won’t even ask about Paul. Second, the synopsis isn’t even accurate – look at the top of page one for chap eight. No mention of a chapter seven. And in chapter seven you noted events that were to occur but didn’t – those became the chapter eight notes – AND THOSE TO NEVER HAPPENED. Hell chapter eight ended with Patrick saying it might happen tomorrow – that will be chapter nine or ten depending on how long you drag out yet another sex scene still happening on the same day all those other sex scenes happened.

Also did you re-read chapter one very first paragraph – you wrote "Elaine, just a mere two days ago did you ever think you would be giving a blow job to man whom you hardly met - a black man who never got past eighth grade? Life can take some strange twists, can't it?" That was all part of her prologue to this story. Yet finally this line comes out here in chapter eight and ITS NOT THE SAME LINE!!!! Just to recap you wrote, “Elaine, just a mere three days ago did you ever think you would be giving a blow job to man whom you just met. Life can take some strange twists, can't it?" This is simple copy and paste work to keep your continuity accurate so why didn’t you?

Finally since you believe it is so important to track every scene that earns a penny (maybe it’s tied to Elaine’s banking background…whatever). Let’s track how Wednesday is going for Elaine. Started the day needing $9,080 after her rough Tuesday…

Patrick BJ + 3 staff fucked, sucked, ass fingered, saw cards of herself showing full photo + she can’t sit due to ass fuck with Doug Aldrich + Bill straight fuck + Kid gets all three holes (even though 1 hour 20 minutes ago she couldn’t sit due to the damage to her ass from Doug) plus pics + 2 Asian bondage boys full service and a movie taken of her (8 guys in 3 hours and climbing) + BOOM Elaine vs Jessie round one + Argentinian fuck and anal (again damaged and re-damaged – screams of PAIN) + Bogart looking guy gets a BJ and right back to anal (seriously?!) then a fuck plus some more clamps + pasta with ashes + BOOM Elaine vs Jessie round two + Animal and tossing his salad, pussy eating, AND AGAIN ANAL!!! + suicidal thoughts + 3some boys no anal but everything else plus the hustler and voyeurweb news have now made her famous worldwide + Patrick BJ V2

Wednesday so far has been 15 clients and her ass is destroyed and yet she earned $5,025 not a bad day. Now we are off to the charity ball where 50-60 men await and Elaine is hoping only 18 will fuck her for $2,500 - sad math for someone with some rather strong college degrees. And let me check once more…no...nope…note here…none…yep rechecked ZERO condoms?

Hopefully you can see that the sex scenes are repetitive. And that you have so many creative possibilities with this story that that you should not be stuck in this rut of making wash-rinse-repeat content chapter after chapter.

Think about where she truly is at mentally and what does matter to her. The threats don’t matter (death might but she was already suicidal in just one day – so not much). Her husband doesn’t matter. Heather doesn't matter. Diseases don’t matter. The pictures and videos on the internet don’t matter. Her ass don’t matter. What does? And add in the other people who should matter. Get back to writing an erotic novel not Elaine Jone's Diary

I like the way this going

…. she'll be trained to do. Love it so far. Looking forward to the next chapter!

where is the next chapter

One of the best that i have read in this year.

Feels like we get to know the proponent. Not just wam bam thank you mam. Can't wait to see the effect on her future life.

pity you have not finished the good story

I really enjoyed the story.

We can see ourselves in Elaine's shoes and live her stay at Patrick's Doll's House.

I was looking forward reading about the auction and subsequent events.

But I have to say I've given up; I guess all of us will have to imagine an ending to your story and that's too bad; we shouldn't have to!

Great story, when will it continue?